The Real Deal

by Warren, Alexandra

  “But you said they want me to be in the video…”

  He shrugged, finally giving me his eyes as he explained, “Well, yeah. As more of an… actor. The male lead. The star.”

  Wait… what?

  I did my best to keep my composure as I replied, “There’s a billion starving actors out in LA that could do this shit. Why does she want me?” I mean, I could pretty much assume why she wanted me. But Zalayah was… young, regardless of her actual age being considered “legal”.

  “She’s hot right now, G. And you were her first choice, so her camp reached out. Now you don’t have to do it, but you’ll be missin’ out on a shitload of money, good publicity, and an opportunity normal dudes like me dream about.”

  I rolled my eyes as I tried to think of my best friend as something other than a pervert. “Yeah, cause normal dudes like you ain’t got shit to look forward to at home. Reagan will kill me if I do this shit.” Even if she was understanding about the whole Shy-deal, the last thing I needed was to be getting mixed up with someone else; someone even more popular.

  Caleb had the nerve to laugh as he said, “Nah, Reagan will be a very happy woman when you take her on a vacation to some private island with all the money you’ll make from doing it. It’s just acting, G. It’s not like you’ll really be stickin’ your dick in her.”

  I sighed, falling back against my seat. “But just the fact that you even have to say that shit let’s me know I’ll be doing the closest thing to it.” I could already see it now, some cheesy ass video with her dancing all on me… or worse.

  “Look, G. You want me to be your manager, so let me manage. This opportunity is golden, man. We can’t skip out on this.”

  Sure used that we so conveniently…

  “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one that actually has to do it.”

  That got him fired up, causing him to scoot to the edge of his seat and yell, “Well if she would’ve asked me to do it, I would’ve done the shit for free! But she asked you, and she’s gonna pay you good for it. So you can either say yeah so I can email them back or you can say no so I can email them back. Either way, they need an answer by the end of the day.”

  I clicked the screen of my phone on to check the time and realized it was our turn to hit the studio. So I stood up and told Caleb, “Let me just… get through this session first, then I’ll make a decision.”

  He stood up too, clear disbelief on his face as he replied, “Bro, just go ahead and call Reagan. I know that’s what you really mean.”

  Of course I had already considered consulting with her about it, but I still didn’t like how he had brought it up as if…, “You sayin’ that like she runs me or somethin’.”

  “She does! Everything is, Reagan will do this, Reagan will think that, Reagan will kill me if I do anything she doesn’t approve of. Get a grip, man. This is a business move that doesn’t have shit to do with Reagan. And if she doesn’t like it, oh well. She’ll get over it.”

  I knew Caleb didn’t have a real problem with Reagan. Hell, he had grown to love her almost as much as I did. But being on the managerial side of things often changed his perspective.

  “Again, easy for you to say considering you aren’t the one that has to deal with her. That’s my woman, man. And I respect the fuck outta our relationship, so I expect you to do the same.”

  We stopped just short of the studio door to finish our conversation. “Bro, I get it. I promise you I do. But sometimes you gotta separate real life from career life to see the bigger picture. And big picture wise, you’d be an idiot to pass this up.”

  I thought it over for a quick moment and realized Caleb was right. It was one stupid music video. All I had to do was play a role for a few takes and collect a check. And even if Reagan didn’t necessarily approve of me interacting with another woman regardless of the obvious circumstances, it really wasn’t up to her.

  I had to do what was right for me.

  &

  “Yo, G. Let’s take...”

  I peeled the headphones from my ears and hung them on the mic stand before Caleb could even finish his sentence. We had been at it for hours, my voice raspy from rappin’ everything from heavy bass strip club songs to sweet and sexy love songs. But I was in the zone, desperate to get some music out before people were already moving on to someone else, someone new, someone deserving of the next 15 minutes.

  The music industry moved on from one artist to the next at a rapid pace making it even harder for up-and-comers like me to stay relevant. Not that I would go down without leaving my mark first. But I knew nothing was really guaranteed, so I had to act like it; even if that meant staying in the studio all damn night.

  I stepped out of the soundproof room to the one designed for engineering, falling onto a couch and closing my eyes so I could regroup. Caleb was next to me, closer to the edge of the couch so that he could reach the coffee table and roll up a blunt. With all that was going on with my career, I had resorted back to smoking to alleviate some of the stress. But it was crazy to me how now that I had at least a little bit of stature, weed suddenly became no big deal when not that long ago, I had gotten bumped up for having it. But I guess if that wouldn’t have happened then I would’ve never met Reagan, so it was worth the trouble.

  Speaking of Reagan…

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw she had sent me a text a few hours earlier.

  Hey you. Hope you’re killin’ it in the studio. If you need help with some lyrics or somethin’, just let me know. I got you. ;) - Baè Griffey

  I tossed my head back with a laugh, imagining my girl goin’ gangsta in the studio before I texted back: LOL. You’re so silly, sweetheart. I appreciate the offer, but I got this on lock. Hopefully I’ll be done soon. You still up? - G. Griffey

  Caleb lit the blunt before handing it to me to take a couple puffs. With it in one hand and my phone in the other, I read her reply.

  You know I am. It’s really a shame that I can’t go to sleep without you here now, as if I haven’t done it for my whole life. - Baé Griffey

  I wasn’t sure if it was the effects of the weed or the effects of Reagan, but I felt giddy as hell as I typed out: That’s what happens when you fuck with a nigga like me. ;) - G. Griffey

  LOL whatever! I’m gonna *try* to go to sleep. The key is in it’s usual place. - Baé Griffey

  I’ll be there as soon as I can - G. Griffey

  Reagan

  The sun was shining right on my face as I stirred from my sleep. Thankfully, I had set my alarm long before I had actually gotten tired because I didn’t remember falling asleep at all. In fact, I hadn’t expected to go to sleep until Gavin showed up which I was just now realizing never happened.

  Well that’s strange.

  I reached over to the nightstand to check my phone and there were no messages or missed calls; not from him at least. There was only a text from Leilani about grabbing drinks after work that I planned on ignoring until she actually called me out on it. These days, I was staying home for new reasons.

  New reasons that have some explaining to do....

  I skipped out of my text conversation with Leilani to go to the one from the night before with Gavin, making sure I hadn’t only dreamt of our plans for him to come by when he got back in town from the studio.

  But nope.

  It was real.

  I thought about shooting him a new text to make sure he was okay, but I didn’t wanna be clingy about it. If he hadn’t come over, I was sure it was for good reason. Or maybe it had just… slipped his mind. I mean, he did have a ton of shit going on. I couldn’t really expect him to spend the night every night.

  I got out of bed and began my morning routine as normal, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone wrong. So instead of giving him a panicky phone call, I decided to shoot that text after all.

  Hey Gavin. Missed you last night. I hope everything is okay. - Reagan

  I grabbed a banana and my pre-made smoothie
to distract me from my phone since I honestly wanted to just sit there and stare at it until he responded. But if I would’ve really done that, I would’ve damn near had to call in sick for work as a response didn’t come for hours later.

  I’m good, Reagan. Thanks for checking. - G

  My eyes were squinted as I read the text over and over again, trying to figure out if I was just imagining it’s vagueness. It was almost like someone else had sent it considering it didn’t exactly give me Gavin-vibes.

  And since when is he just “G”?

  Instead of responding, I tossed my phone in my purse and locked it in the desk cabinet drawer. If he wanted to be focused on his career, then I was gonna do the same.

  &

  I decided to take Leilani up on her offer; anything to distract me from the fact that I basically hadn’t talked to Gavin all day. Of course there were days that I heard from him less than others. But he had always made it a point to check in with me at least a few times throughout the day no matter how busy he got.

  “Maybe he’s in some top secret illuminati-initiation meeting or somethin’,” Leilani tossed out randomly as if she could read my mind.

  I gave her a side-eye as my phone buzzed on the table. My heart jumped as I snatched it up quickly, but I was incredibly disappointed when it was just an Instagram notification.

  @GGriff23 tagged you in a photo.

  My first reaction was, “Oh, so he can be on Instagram, but not send me a text?” But I held off on seeing that through until I could actually see what the picture was. I opened my Instagram app and was surprised when it was a picture of me and only me; a picture that I had sent him personally before deciding to make the trip up to see him perform at the birthday party.

  Good thing I have clothes on in this one...

  The caption read: Missin’ this woman like crazy! Hate being away from her, but grateful that she gets it... #WomanCrushEveryday #BaéGriffey

  There were a ton of girls in the comments swooning in my honor. And as much as I wanted to be flattered, an Instagram post wasn’t the solution to my problem.

  “Well… is it him?” I had almost forgotten Leilani was there. But instead of answering her question with words, I slid my phone across the table so she could see the post for herself.

  I watched her eyes light up as she read it over. “Awwwww, Reagan. This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen!”

  I shrugged, unimpressed. “Yeah, it’s nice. I guess.”

  “Why aren’t you happy about it?”

  “It’s social media, Lei. He could’ve just said this shit to me instead of announcing it to the whole world.” Even if he had just sent me that same exact message personally, I would’ve been happier about it.

  “But he did, Reagan. He let everyone know that you’re the girl on his mind even in the midst of his budding career. Don’t be so hard on him, girl. He’s trying.”

  I knew there was some truth to Leilani’s words though they didn’t exactly make me feel better. “This isn’t about him trying for everyone else, this is about him trying for me. I mean, the fact that I’ve already been going with the flow as much as I have is plenty. The least he could do is get in touch.”

  Leilani sighed, nodding her head to agree while still assuring me, “I’m sure he will, Reagan. Just be patient. And understanding. Everything will be fine.”

  Gavin

  “I’m sorry.”

  Reagan was leaning against the frame of her apartment door looking even better than I remembered. I hadn’t seen her in days, only the occasional pictures and FaceTime calls. But seeing her up close, live and in color, had a nigga ready to write an apology song 90s R&B style.

  She wasn’t quite smiling, but she wasn’t frowning either as she brushed it off. “No need. I get it. You’re busy. I’m second. And I have to be okay with that.”

  She started to turn around, but instead of following her, I grabbed her by the wrist to stop her.

  “You shouldn’t be okay with that cause you’re not second.”

  Her face scrunched as she asked, “Third?”

  “Reagan…”

  “What? I’m trying to talk myself out of chewin’ your ass out over this.”

  That’s honestly what I had expected long before we even got to this point, so I had no problem telling her, “It’s okay. I deserve it. Let me have it, sweetheart.”

  She sighed, looking past me as she whispered, “Gavin, I’m really taming the beast right now. Let me do this.”

  “Nope. I wanna hear it,” I challenged, as I crossed my arms over my chest. Sure, it may have sounded dumb for me to ask her to rip into my ass. But I knew letting her have her moment was the only way we’d make it past this situation.

  She looked around me again as if she was expecting a neighbor to walk past. But since no one was around but us, she finally let loose, stabbing a finger in my chest as she said, “If you ever do that shit to me again, I promise I will lose your number, block you, get a restraining order, all of that and more. Hell, I’ll change my name and relocate if you don’t take me serious. Because that shit? No. Can’t do it. Not gonna do it. I am no one’s second, or third, or…”

  I cut her off, grabbing her by the shoulders as I said, “I hear you, Reagan. I’m sorry.”

  She rolled her eyes as if she didn’t believe me. “Sorry is a word, Gavin. I require action. Real action. Not Instagram love letters, but in my face, or in my ears, or…”

  I cut her off again. “What about in your pussy?”

  Her eyes went wide as she whisper-yelled, “No! Women give fuckin’ apologies; men use fuckin’ as a weapon to blind women from their bullshit. That’s why we have so many illegitimate children now!”

  I smiled at her, the one I knew she couldn’t resist, as I joked, “Hey. I’m technically an illegitimate child if that’s the standards we’re using.

  She finally yanked away from me as she tossed out, “Whatever, Gavin.”

  Though I could kind of joke about it now that we were face-to-face, I still didn’t want any bad air between us. I knew I had fucked up, and even though it wasn’t solely my fault, I had no problem taking the blame.

  So I confidently wrapped her in an embrace and told her, “Seriously though, sweetheart. You’re a priority to me, my top priority, and I didn’t mean to make you feel otherwise.”

  “So don’t.”

  “Noted. Now can I come inside already?”

  Her eyes were on everything but me as she answered with a shrug, “I don’t know. I may have your replacement in there waiting for me to come back to bed.”

  I stared at her for a minute and could thankfully see a hint of a smile beginning to surface, so I jokingly fired back, “My replacement? Damn, it’s like that?”

  The smile finally made its way to her lips - the first one she had given me all day - and I was grateful for it even if it was a result of her teasing me. “Nah, I’m just messin’ with you. Now come inside and… give me an illegitimate child or somethin’. I mean, it’s the least you could do for all the trouble you’ve caused.”

  I smiled proudly as I replied, “My pleasure.”

  &

  “Is this like a… “want to” or a “have to”? Cause if it’s a want to, I’m definitely holding you hostage.”

  Reagan still being naked in bed was certainly a hard bargain to compete with, but Caleb would kill me if I missed my plane out to the video shoot. He had already rearranged my flight twice so I could spend the weekend making it up to Reagan, though the way she had her leg perched up making her booty look a little plumper had me considering a third.

  I sighed as I continued getting dressed. “Unfortunately, it’s a “have to”. I mean, unless I can just quit my job and live off of your community center checks.”

  She rolled her eyes, blowing out a sigh of her own. “Hell, I can hardly live off those checks.”

  “You need some money, Reagan? Why didn’t you just ask?” I knew Reagan was the definition of Ms. Independent,
but I still wasn’t okay with the idea of her struggling for no reason.

  If I had it, we had it.

  But of course she brushed me off, climbing from the bed and heading to the bathroom. “No, Gavin. I don’t need your money. I’m fine. Perfectly fine.”

  Yes, you are...

  I followed her, admiring her from behind, as I said, “I’m serious, sweetheart. Anything you need, I got you.”

  She turned around just short of the door, teasing me with her still mostly naked frame as she tossed back, “I need you to stay your ass here; that’s what I need. But I get it. I’m sec….”

  I cut her off before she could even hop back on the bullshit wagon. “Reagan, quit playin’. We already went over this. And I’ll be back in a couple days anyway. You’ll hardly have enough time to miss me.”

  “I already miss you and you’re still here,” she whined.

  I could hardly stand to look at her as I felt myself getting put right back under the spell that had kept me here this long. “Sweetheart, don’t make this even harder on me.”

  She put a hand to my chest, gliding her fingers along the buttons of my shirt. “I’m not doing it on purpose, Gavin. I just… wish we were normal sometimes.”

  “We could be if you’d just come with me.” I had already asked her on multiple occasions to join me on the journey full-time, but she continuously turned it down.

  Sometimes it was about the kids, sometimes it was about the lifestyle, and this time it was about…, “Still wouldn’t be normal. You’d be working and I’d be… what would I even do with all that free time?”

  I could think of a million ways she could spend her time, but my first suggestion was easily, “Spend all this money I’m making. It’s a win-win for the both of us.”

  Any other girl would’ve jumped at the opportunity, but I knew my Reagan wasn’t any other girl. She was analytical, a realist, a firecracker.

  My firecracker.

  She finally continued her pursuit of the bathroom, stopping at the mirror to check her neck for love bites that had no way of hiding on her bright skin. And I helped her check, knowing there were a couple of places that I couldn’t resist myself in tasting.