Where You Are

by Alla Kar

  A couple of weeks? I don’t even know if I want to live here. I never really thought I was going to win. I had no idea what to expect. All my things are in Australia; I’d have to make a trip back to get them. Get an apartment? Get my vehicle over here. I run my fingers through my hair. “Sure—I can meet you there. Where is your classroom?”

  Dr. Phillips pulls out a notecard and jots down the directions. My eyes wander over the crowd. I know who I’m looking for, and I watched her while I cooked. She wasn’t sitting by her boyfriend, but by her friend. Her arms had been crossed, eyes uneasy. Something was wrong. But, I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be near her arsehole of a boyfriend. Not to mention, he had a huge chunk out of the back of his hair.

  I had nearly dropped my cake when he turned around, pulled off his cap, and showed some guy talking to him. He was pissed. It made me fucking smile.

  She isn’t standing where she had been, but her blond hair caught my attention by the door. Her jeans—the ones I wish she would stop wearing—were snug against her ass. She laughs at something that guy says and then, as if she knows I’m staring at her, she glances back over her shoulder. I know the look. She wants to come over to me, I can feel it, but doesn’t. She smiles, nods her head, and gives me a thumbs up. It’s the first nice reaction, besides kissing me back, that she has given me.

  I smile and give her a small wink. She takes a sharp breath in and turns to disappear through the double doors.

  “Lachlan,” Dr. Phillips says, drawing my attention back to him. His eyebrow is raised above his Coke-bottle glasses. “Do you know Ms. Scott from somewhere?”

  “Yeah, I know her.”

  ***

  The music is way too loud in this damned place. It’s not like the casual clubs I’m used to going to back home. They don’t try to bust your bloody eardrums. Lucas insisted we go out to celebrate, since Savannah was out doing some last minute bridesmaid shopping with Jamie. I was thrilled to get out of the apartment without Jamie. She was starting to come over more, hanging around when I leave and pretending like we’re dating. We most certainly are not.

  Lucas slaps his hand against the booth table, causing me to break my daze. “You’re a fucking winner, haven’t I always told you that?”

  He’s wasted. “No, you’ve never said that, mate. But, nice try.”

  Lucas chugs some of his drink, and flags the waitress down for another one. “Keep ’em coming,” he yells.

  “Are we trying to drink our life away tonight? I thought we were celebrating, not getting too wasted to get home.”

  “Oh, come on, you old man. We’re having a good time. You’ve got a job…here. Which reminds me, what in the fuck are you going to do? You going to move back here? Don’t get me wrong, I would love that, but I just didn’t think you ever wanted to come back. Not after—”

  I cut him off with a sharp stare. “I didn’t want to—but now, I have a reason.”

  “Two,” Lucas mumbles under his breath.

  I glare at him over my beer. “She is fucked up, Lucas. Her heart…it seems like it’s been scattered into ten million pieces. I’m going to put her back together. You’re right. I do have two reasons to be here. I’ve won one, now I’m going to win the other back.”

  “That’s the spirit, you ole’ chap,” Lucas says. “Because here is your chance. She is standing over there by the bar.”

  What? I snap my head around, my eyes meeting her dark green ones. She is pressed against the counter, sitting on a stool and looking out across the dance floor. She sips her drink, her eyes fluttering up to meet mine. She doesn’t move, it doesn’t even look like she is breathing.

  I stand up.

  “Wait, where are you going?” Lucas asks.

  I glance over my shoulder. “To dance with my girl.”

  Lucas gives me a small smile and with his best Australian accent says, “Go get her, mate.”

  She sees me walking toward her. Her fingers tighten around her drink, and her legs twitch against the stool. Her roommate is standing beside her, yapping with some guy. She hasn’t even noticed.

  When I get to her, my heart is pounding in my throat. I’m such a pussy. Staring down at her, I offer her my hand. “Want to dance, luv?”

  She purses her lips, then bites down slowly. Goddamn, I want to do that for her. She takes a slow breath, and just when I know she’s going to tell me to get lost, she places her hand in mine.

  I grin, like a damned fifteen-year-old boy. Guiding her behind me, I stop between a few other couples dancing in the middle of the floor. The song is a rap song, fast and up-beat. Laney’s hand is trembling in mine, I hate that she is afraid to know me again. I turn her ass toward me and wrap my hands around her waist. She takes a small breath in and tenses at my touch. It’s been so long…I screw my eyes together and push her toward me again.

  “Don’t be nervous,” I lean down and whisper in her ear. She smells flowery. My dick reminds me how she affects me. Everywhere. “I won’t hurt you again, luv.”

  She sways to the music, the tension in her shoulders draining away as she finally begins to dance. She grinds her ass against me, and I pray she can’t feel my erection against her, but if I had to guess she knows it’s there. Her hands go to the air, and she starts to sing along with the song.

  Laughing, she begins to sway her hips faster, throwing her hair around. She is finally having a good time. We’re both laughing, and dancing, when she reaches down and grabs my thigh, squeezing hard. The close contact sends my hormones on a rampage. Unable to help myself, I pull her hair to the side, placing a soft kiss against the skin below her ear.

  She moans. Holy Fucking Shit. She reaches behind her, grabbing my hair and holding my face at her neck. Her fingers grip harder, so I lean down and touch my lips to her again. “More,” she says over the music.

  I’m a man of my word. I open my mouth and suck her sweet skin into my mouth. She arches her back, making her ass hit me harder. I suck harder, not wanting to let go. Biting down slightly, she growls, turning to face me. Her green eyes are wide—innocent almost—and beautiful. Her eyes undress me as they lower over my body. “More,” she whispers again.

  Christ. I grip the base of her neck, forcing her chin up. She couldn’t get away if she wanted to. I hover my mouth over hers, smelling the alcohol and mint, just a hairbreadth away from her waiting lips.

  “More?” I ask.

  She nods, her eyes wide—waiting—and her pupils growing. “Yes.”

  Bringing my other hand up, I trace my finger over the outline of her bottom lips. She has the prettiest lips I’ve ever laid eyes on. Thick, pink, and soft. They would make a priest swear. Slowly, I close the gap between our mouths, not able to keep myself from it any longer.

  Gentle at first, a soft, barely there kiss, then I quicken the pace. She opens her mouth for me, inviting me in. She doesn’t know but I never want her to let me go. This is the kiss I want forever. Tangling my hands in her soft blond hair, I tug until we’re touching everywhere.

  Her body is shivering against mine. Her softness fits perfectly against my hardness. A soft groan comes from her throat as I trace her lips with my tongue. I’m not sure how much she’s been drinking, but I know it’s not enough to cloud her judgment. She wants this. Just like I want it—need it.

  Breaking free, I trail down her neck to the top of her low-cut shirt. She is breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling in quick jerks. The tips of her fingers press harder into my scalp as I make my way to the edge of her bra.

  I’m lost in her delicious skin when I feel someone push me forward. I fall into Laney, grabbing her hip to keep her from falling.

  Her eyes are wide, staring behind me. I know it’s him. “Go sit down, Laney. I’ll take care of this fucking twit.”

  I don’t give her time to answer. I push her forward and sling around. I come face-to-face with Aiden. He is staring at me, a serious rage building in his eyes.

  “Get your filthy hands off my girlfrie
nd.”

  “I’m not your girlfriend,” Laney spits out.

  “Go sit down!” I yell back at her.

  She crosses her arms over her chest and doesn’t budge. God—hard-headed woman. I grit my teeth and turn back to Aiden.

  “You’re hurting, Laney. I said I was sorry. Please forgive me,” he says, taking a step toward Laney. I step to my left and block his path. “Move out of the way, before I beat your ass right now, Aussie.”

  Closing my eyes, I try to calm myself. “You have no idea how badly I want to press your head into the floor, twit. Now, get the fuck away from her. She isn’t your girlfriend. She just said it.”

  Aiden frowns and tries to move around me, but I push his shoulder, making him stagger into a few dancing couples.

  “No,” Laney says, running in front of me. She has one hand on my chest and the other out in front of her. “Aiden, stay back. You’ve both been drinking and will probably regret this tomorrow. Just go home.”

  Is the bloody twit crying? He is clenching his fists and staring at Laney. “I’m fucking sorry. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

  Do what again? I’m going to knock the last living breath out of him. She is quiet for a moment, then she drops her arms. “Aiden…we can talk tomorrow. Go home, now, or I’m not going to talk to you at all.”

  Aiden screws his eyes shut, turns, and pushes his way out of the crowd. Laney turns around, her dark green eyes wide. A tremble forms on her bottom lip, but she bites it.

  “Laney, does he hurt you?”

  She closes her eyes, a tear falling from the corner. I want to wipe it away but she doesn’t look like she wants to be touched. “No, I hurt him.”

  What? “You—you hit him? What do you mean?”

  She shakes her head, wipes her face, and takes a deep breath. “Don’t worry about me, Lachlan.”

  No, she is withdrawing. She is going to hide. She is shutting her doors. “Laney, no, don’t go.”

  “Lachlan, please, it’s too much right now. I feel like I’m suffocating. I see you and it hurts. It burns. Just please…”

  She is crying, hysterically. Tears stream down her flushed cheeks. Fucking shit. I want to hold her. Tell her it’s going to be okay. Tell her I love her, and that I never stopped loving her, but she is gone. She pushes a path through the crowd and out the door.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Laney

  “Life goes on, it gets so heavy

  The wheels break the butterfly

  Every tear—a waterfall” - Coldplay

  At least my coffee is warm today.

  Snapping the top onto my coffee container, I sling my backpack over my shoulder. My head is pounding and the Advil I took when I woke up isn’t helping. I hold the bridge of my nose with two fingers.

  “You know you can miss a class, Laney. It won’t kill you,” I hear Heather from under her covers, sleeping comfortably like I wish I were.

  Pushing my glasses up my nose, I narrow my eyes at her. “No, because I can’t miss Dr. Phillips’ class anymore. Since he tortured us with the Cook Off, I’m not risking it again. And we have an assignment due today.” A poem that I wrote while I was crying which is never a good thing to do. Not only are there corners smudged with mascara from me drying my tears and trying to write, but it’s about Lachlan.

  Heather mumbles incoherently through her covers, and then flips onto her side.

  Jacks is leaving his dorm room when I open my door. “Wow, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

  “Thanks.” I roll my eyes.

  Jacks pats my shoulder. “Really, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

  All weekend. All freaking weekend. I don’t think my eyes can produce any more tears. They burn when I blink. My entire world feels like it is slipping from me. He had held me so close to him, his hard muscles clenching around me. So perfect. So raw and real. I never wanted to let myself go with him as much as I did last night.

  “I’ve just had a terrible weekend. Can we talk about anything else?”

  “Okay, how are you and Aiden doing?”

  “Okay, anything other than my terrible weekend and Aiden.”

  Jacks laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

  ***

  Jacks doesn’t send me any more notes in class. Thank God. I don’t think I could handle another Cook Off or some Dungeons and Dragons bullshit, which I’m sure Dr. Phillips is into.

  He barely gives us a glance when we walk in. He seems to be scrawling something down, quickly.

  “Okay, who did their homework?”

  I pull out my pathetic poem and hand it to Dr. Phillips as he passes by our desks. I don’t think he really reads them, only gives us the points if we try. So, I don’t care that I wrote about Lachlan. He doesn’t know it’s about him. He doesn’t pull any out and embarrass anyone today, so I relax a little in my seat. We’re fifty minutes into class when a girl sitting a few rows ahead of me drops her head down to her desk with a loud thud.

  “Damn,” Jacks says from behind me.

  Dr. Phillips jumps up and presses his fingers to her pulse. “She’s breathing. Someone help me get her up. You guys are dismissed. Laney, can you stay behind for me? There is a gentleman coming for me in a bit. Tell him I’ll be right back; I had an emergency.”

  I nod, even though he could have asked anyone else to stay. I have work study in ten minutes.

  “Drunk or stoned?” Jacks asks.

  I purse my lips. “Hungover.”

  Jacks nods. “Yep, she looks like one of those. You want me to stay with you?” Jacks asks, sliding his bag over his shoulder.

  “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll meet you at lunch. Hopefully, I’ll get through work study without having to beat up the football team.”

  Jacks laughs, then pushes his blond hair from his face. “See you later.”

  The classroom empties out quickly. I can’t blame them. I want to get the hell out of here, too. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walk down to Dr. Phillips desk. It is cluttered with papers, pens, and an empty coffee cup.

  Slob. I’m looking in his grade book when I hear the door creak open. I glance back and stop. Of course.

  “What are you doing here?” I blurt out. Lachlan presses his teeth into his bottom lip and gives me a once over. The movement makes me squirm.

  “I’m here to meet Dr. Phillips. He is going to give me the information about my new job.”

  Job? I didn’t even think about him winning. Sliding my fingers against the desk, I glance back over at him. “Are you moving back?” The thought makes my stomach tighten. Will I see him all the time?

  Lachlan keeps his gaze on mine, watching me closely, before he closes the door behind him. The click sends warmth in-between my legs. Moving around, I put the desk between us. It seems like it’s the only place I’m safe. Yet, I’m not sure it’s enough. He is wearing a dark blue shirt today, tight to his chest. I can see the deep line of his abs beneath the fabric.

  He is closer now. He picks up the stapler off of Dr. Phillips’ desk and places it back down. “What if I am moving back?”

  I’d melt into a puddle right now. I’d lock myself in my room forever. I’d have wet dreams every night. The list is endless. “Nothing. I was just asking.”

  He chuckles, but doesn’t look up from a pile of papers on the desk. “Really.” My nerves are bouncing around inside of me. What is he looking at? A smile rises from the corner of his mouth and his green eyes drag, slowly, toward mine. “I find that hard to believe.”

  Heat. It’s swarming me. What is he looking—fuck. My entire body ignites in flames. He is looking at my homework. Before I can think, I rush around the desk and snatch the paper out of his hand. “That’s private.”

  He nods, turning so he can lean against the desk. “Is it true?”

  “What?” I whisper, knowing exactly what he is talking about.

  “What that poems says. Do you regret it? Leaving that night, luv?”

  A dryness c
onsumes my mouth, I’m unable to speak. Do I regret it? Of course. It’s the one night I wish I could take back. The one mistake I wish I had never made. But, I had. Now, I don’t deserve anyone. Not Lachlan. Not even Aiden. I deserve to be alone. I did this to myself. My one love, my one all-consuming faith, I damned to Hell. And God is punishing me.

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  Lachlan stares at me for a few seconds, but it feels like an hour. Standing up, he turns until I’m pressed against Dr. Phillips’ desk. My back arches, afraid to get too close to him. My body is betraying me, it wants him. All of him. On me. In me.

  He is dangerously close now, his minty breath kissing my cheek. “Then prove it, luv.”

  My breath catches in my throat. Oh, how bad I want him. Fingers lightly trace my side, up to my neck. His wide palm rests below my ear. “I said prove it, luv. Show me it was a mistake. Show me how we used to. Show me that you remember.”

  I moan. Goddamn it, I moan. He is challenging me with his eyes; they haven’t left my lips. I want this. Just one kiss. Just one touch. Closing my eyes, I lean in until my lips are pressed against his. It’s the first time he’s let me make the move. It’s dangerously delicious. I pull back slightly, until our lips are barely touching.

  He brushes my hair away from my neck, and I hear him suck in a deep breath. He groans and lowers his hands to my hips, his wide palms engulfing each bone. “Do you know what you do to me, luv?” he whispers, bringing one finger up to my navel. I’m breathing heavily. I can’t make myself stop. I suck in a larger breath when he trails it between my breasts up to my bottom lip. His eyes are on me, testing my self-control. He is definitely pushing the line. I want him so bad, I feel knots forming in my stomach. My frustration is forming in my throat.

  He lifts me at my waist, until he is standing in-between my legs. He slides his hands beside me, pushing all the crap around on the desk. Jesus Christ, he is close. Too close. As if he knows I can’t take it any longer, he slides his finger against my bottom lip. Frustrated, I take his finger in my mouth.