Where You Are

by Alla Kar

  His eyes widen, and he pulls me closer to him. I feel how hard he is against my sex. I wish there were no clothes keeping us from one another.

  “Goddamn, luv,” he whispers as I suck harder. My panties are soaking wet. I feel like I have no control over myself. There is no more stopping me. I want him. Right. Fucking. Now.

  Pulling his finger from my mouth, he presses his lips against mine. His kiss makes my stomach swirl. I open my mouth wider, inviting him in. His tongue touches my bottom lip, asking permission. I groan, reach up, and tangle my fingers into his hair.

  “Laney,” he says. My name coming off his lips makes my grind into him, wrapping my legs around his waist. My mind is like a slideshow. I can’t turn it off. It only sees him. Our first kiss. Our first time. Everything about him.

  He responds quickly, sliding his fingers up the edge of my shirt, until his palm is flat against my ribs. “I want to take all of your goddamn clothes off and take you, luv. I want to feel inside of you again. Please. Please.” His begging makes me cry out. My body is racing more than it ever has.

  I’m so lost in him. Lost in the past. So lost that I don’t hear the door open. “Excuse me.”

  Fuck. I’m off the desk in two seconds. Dr. Phillips is standing at the door, papers in one hand and the other tucked into his pocket. “Laney, I told you to tell the person meeting me I would be back soon, not try and seduce him on my desk.”

  I just died. Yep, died of humiliation. I swear I’m holding fire in my cheeks. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Dr. Phillips. I—”

  “It’s not her fault. Blame me. We…we use to date. It’s been a while. I just—I had to kiss her. I’m sorry.”

  Dr. Phillips raises an eyebrow and rolls his eyes. “Get out of my classroom, Ms. Scott, before I come to my senses and make you do extra homework.”

  I don’t say anything, just reach down, grab my bag, and run out of the door.

  ***

  Jacks has his head down on the cafeteria table, laughing hysterically.

  I toss three fries at his head and give him my best stern look. “This is serious, Jacks. Stop laughing. I should have never told you, you asshole.”

  Jacks pushes back his hair. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry. I’m stopping. I just…” more laughter, “…it’s so fucking funny. I mean, you read about it and hear about it, but you never think these kinds of things actually happen. You have the worst timing and luck I’ve ever heard of.”

  I sigh. “Thanks.”

  “Seriously, though. Were you really on his desk?”

  “God, you ass.” I go to stand up, but he grabs my arm.

  “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. No more. Promise.” Making sure he is serious before I sit down, I raise an eyebrow. “Promise,” he says.

  I sit back down and grab my fork. “This is just all too much.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Who?”

  Jacks rolls his eyes. “Lachlan. Do you still love him? I know you said you deserve to be alone, for this big secret of a reason, but I don’t think anyone deserves to be alone. It’s awfully lonely.”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “Yeah, I know, big secret. But you didn’t answer. Do you love him?”

  “I—”

  “Oh, shit.” Jacks pretends to duck behind his cup. “Pretend boyfriend alert. Three o’clock.”

  I turn around and watch Aiden push his way through the lunchroom crowd. He looks really determined. It makes me want to run out of the room screaming.

  When he gets to me, he grabs my hand and stands up in front of everyone. “What are you doing, Aiden?”

  I haven’t really spoken to him since the club. After his massive fit over Lachlan, he has kept his distance. I was actually starting to think he was done. I was too much trouble for him. Obviously not. He is leading me to the center of the cafeteria. “Aiden, tell me right now what’s going on.”

  He isn’t listening. His grip is tight on my wrist. When he stops, I look around at everyone staring at us. Jesus, I just want to disappear right now.

  “Listen, everyone. Are you listening?”

  “Aiden, stop right now. What’s going on?” We’re busted. It’s the only logical explanation. Now, he is going to rat me out in front of the entire school.

  “Shhh, Laney. Hold on,” he whispers before wrapping his arm around my waist. Oh, God. “If you guys haven’t noticed, I’ve been dating Laney for the past week. She is the only girl that’s made me feel this…crazy.” A few people let out wolf whistles and I swear I’m slowing walking into the light. Everyone is going to know. I mentally groan.

  Jacks is staring at me. He is laughing hysterically behind his palm. Bastard. I flip him off and screw my eyes shut. I’m sure I had a nightmare about this once.

  “But, this is my girlfriend. And I’m not afraid to say that I’m whipped.”

  The entire cafeteria starts clapping. Yep, like we’re in a damn romantic comedy. It’s definitely comical. Aiden kisses my cheek and tugs me closer to him.

  And I thought my life couldn’t get any more complicated.

  ***

  “What in the hell was that?”

  Aiden stops with his hand on the cafeteria door handle. “What do you mean? I just told everyone you’re my girlfriend. I thought you’d be happy?”

  Happy? Happily humiliated? What is this guy smoking? I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. “Well, a little bit of a warning would have been nice.”

  Aiden swallows, then trails a finger down the length of my face. “I’m sorry. I thought you would like it.”

  He looks like a lost puppy dog. When did he start acting so…clingy? Jeez. Play your part, Laney. Not only is your reputation on the line but Heather’s relationship. Bethany will sing like a canary. Smiling, I reach up on my toes and lightly kiss his cheek. “I am happy. I just—it took me off-guard. That’s all.”

  Aiden grins, then wraps his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to let everyone know that I really like you. Sure, it was high school-ish. But, sometimes it’s better that way. To live like we’re in high school. Fall in love like we’re fifteen again, and put everything into it.”

  Or not.

  “Right,” I whisper. “Well, I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Wait,” Aiden says. “Are you still going to go to the wedding with me? It’s Friday.”

  Damn it. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  Aiden’s brows furrow. “Why?”

  “Did you not see me get stuck in the window? I would rather not replay that in my mind.”

  Aiden laughs. “I think it was sexy. Your ass hanging out.” He smiles and runs a finger down my neck. “If that Aussie guy hadn’t been staring at your ass, it would have made it so much better.”

  I avoid eye contact. He had been staring at my ass? I know my cheeks have to be red. “So, you won’t be mad if I don’t go?”

  He frowns. “I don’t want to go alone. I tell you what…we can go and leave as soon as the wedding’s over. Please?”

  Biting my lip, I try to think of a way out. Nothing. He’s got me now, I need to go. It’s what my character would do. “Okay, as long as we leave quickly afterwards.”

  Aiden smiles, then leans down and presses his lips to mine. It startles me. He’s never kissed me in public like this before. Cradling my face, he presses me against the wall. I screw my eyes shut. His lips are soft, but not Lachlan soft. His hands are gentle, but not like him. Frustration erupts from my chest. I grab his shirt and squeeze.

  “Jesus,” he whispers, raking his fingers down my back to cup my ass. “You feel so good, Laney.”

  Tears. They’re threatening to run down my face. No, don’t. I smile into his mouth, the only thing I can think to do.

  “Why don’t you come over tonight?” he whispers before biting down, gently, on my earlobe.

  I suck in a deep breath. I know I should say no, because I can see the lust in his eyes. But, I think abo
ut Lachlan. The frustration of wanting him so badly I can’t breathe. It makes me see red. I want a release. I need to feel something more, to show me it doesn’t have to be him. I need something to keep me from falling hard into Lachlan again, only to be torn apart.

  “Why don’t we go outside to your car?”

  He groans and grabs my bottom lip with his lips. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Come on.”

  Adrenaline is coursing through my body, and despite my better judgment, I let Aiden pull me toward his BMW. Thank God the windows are tinted.

  The parking lot is full of cars, but everyone is in class or at lunch. I can hear my heart beat inside my head. Aiden pulls out his car keys, fumbles with the lock, and opens the back door. I feel like I’m sixteen again, climbing into the back of my date’s truck to make out before my mom starts calling me to come home.

  Sliding in, Aiden shuts the door and wastes no time intertwining his fingers around the back of my neck. “God, I want you so bad, baby,” Aiden whispers, pressing his lips against my neck.

  Aiden pushes his shirt over his head when I reach my hand underneath his shirt. His muscles are hard and tense beneath me. I press my eyes shut harder, a kaleidoscope of colors previewing before my closed eyes. Lachlan’s face flickers into my vision every few seconds.

  Aiden’s body hovers over mine, his leg between my legs, pushing them open farther. I feel his lips on my neck, traveling down to my bra. I don’t stop him. I can’t. All I see when my eyes are closed is Lachlan. Kissing me. Holding me. Touching me. Tearing me apart.

  Aiden’s fingers sliding down to my jeans zipper brings me back to reality. What in the fuck am I doing? My jeans are halfway down my legs when I grip Aiden’s arm. “Aiden—I’m…I need to stop. I’m sorry.”

  Aiden widens his eyes and starts nodding like a bobblehead. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry. If you’re not ready you’re not ready.”

  Really? Aiden smiles down at me, and then presses his lips against my forehead. I think I’ve fallen into the Twilight Zone. Did he really just give up that easily? It’s definitely not what I was expecting.

  “You’re not mad?”

  Aiden furrows his brow and sits up. “Why would you think I’d be mad, Laney?”

  Hmm…I don’t know. You’ve kind of got that asshole reputation going on. I shrug. “You’ve been with so many girls. I figured you’d be pissed.”

  The corner of Aiden’s lips moves up and he pulls me closer to him. “I would never make you do something you don’t want to. All the girls,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ve been with have given it to me. I’d never take that without them wanting to give it.”

  Damn. I wish I could rip the heavy pressure of guilt from my shoulders. A sick feeling starts to crawl up my throat, making me feel like throwing up in the back of his BMW.

  I give him a weak smile and pick at my thumbnail. “Thanks. I—I probably need to get home. I…I have homework.”

  Aiden brushes his hair out of his eyes and gives me the biggest smile. “Okay, I’ll take you home. Come on.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Laney

  “Why does it feel so good

  But hurt so bad?

  My mind keeps saying

  Run as fast as you can.” – Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida

  Slipping my feet into Heather’s death traps, I take an uneasy breath out. This week hasn’t been on my top favorite weeks of my life. First, I get caught making out with Lachlan on Dr. Phillips’ desk, then I let myself get carried away with Aiden. That is not in the plan.

  Heather hums along to some One Direction song, and I wish I had that life. The life with one boy who loves me, and I love him. Not a pretend boyfriend that I have to make appearances with, and turns out to be one of the sweetest guys ever. Or an ex-boyfriend that I can’t look at without seeing my past. My mistakes. I haven’t told Heather or Bethany what happened. I can’t. Bethany came over last night and had a plan for me to put Ex-lax in his drink. I said I didn’t want to do it and pretended to get a call from my mom. I’m sure that wasn’t the end of it though.

  Now I’m sitting on Heather’s bed, staring out into oblivion.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Heather asks from her desk.

  I shrug.

  Heather shuts her laptop and sits across from me on my bed. Her hair is in a sloppy bun, her eyes wide and fingers intertwined. “Are you falling for Aiden?”

  I give her a puh-lease look. “No, I just—I feel bad for him. I don’t want to put that in his drink. I don’t want to lead him on anymore. I just want to stop.”

  Heather presses her lips together. “Laney, he is a manipulator. He is making you think he is good. It’s what they do.” I’m pretty sure she really thinks this but I’m surer that this has something to do with Bethany telling Todd that I coached her through their relationship.

  I know this. I know exactly how boys think, and I know when they’re playing me. I shake my head. “No, you didn’t see his face. He was so gentle. I—I know it’s hard to believe. But, he’s been hurt. I don’t know the story, but you heard his roommate. He does it to cover up his pain. I—I don’t want to do this to him. But I know Bethany will tell everyone, including Todd if I don’t. And to be honest I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

  Heather sighs and comes to sit beside me. “If you don’t do it, it’s going to make him feel worse than having diarrhea.”

  I try not to laugh. “Gross.”

  She shrugs. “Just do it, then break it off next Monday. Then he won’t know you played him and you can go on with your life.”

  God. Vomit is rising in my throat when Bethany bursts into our room. She scans over us and frowns. “You’re backing out aren’t you? What happened? You promised, Laney—”

  I hold my hand up for her to shut the hell up. “Bethany, this is the last prank. I’m breaking up with him Monday. He’s already lured in enough. And you have to promise that you won’t tell anyone about this, including Todd. You promised.”

  She twists her lips and nods. “Sure. And he seems like he is really starting to like you. It would probably be better this way.”

  For you. Sighing, I stand up and grab my wallet and keys. “I’m going to go wait outside for him. I need some fresh air.”

  I don’t feel a release until I’m out of the dorm and into the cool air. Taking a huge breath, I take a seat on the concrete steps in front of our building. I keep telling myself that it’s just a few more days but I still feel like crap. I hear the slight hum of Aiden’s Beemer and then he pulls up in front of me.

  He rolls down the window. “You ready?”

  I nod, grab my things, and get into the car. Ready as I’ll ever be.

  ***

  My head is sweating. Jeez. Aiden is talking about something, but I’m too busy wiping at the back of my neck to pay attention.

  “Laney.”

  “Huh?”

  “We were just saying how beautiful the wedding was.” He gestures toward Savannah, who is standing there in her wedding dress. I hadn’t even realized she was there, let alone talking.

  I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Oh, yes, it was beautiful and so are you.”

  She smiles and grabs Aiden’s arm. “Mom wants a picture of us. Do you mind, Laney?”

  “Not at all,” I mumble.

  Aiden puts his drink down on the table behind us and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back really soon. Keep an eye on this for me.”

  Smiling weakly, I give him a lame thumbs up. He disappears behind a set of double doors. My fingers wrap around the bottle of Ex-lax in my blue jean jacket pocket. God, I don’t want to do this.

  No one is paying attention to me. Grabbing his drink, I screw my eyes shut and pour a small amount into his drink.

  That will definitely do it.

  “What are you doing?”

  Shit. I swing around and look up at Lachlan. His dark eyebrow is raised, his mouth pressed into a tight line. I fumble with my jacke
t pocket, making sure the bottle is shoved down into the depth of it.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, keeping my eyes glued to the floor.

  Lachlan grunts. “What did you put in his drink?”

  What in the hell? I glare up at him. “None of your business. Leave me alone, Lachlan.”

  He chuckles, the sound making my stomach tighten. “Leave you alone? That’s not what you said in Dr. Phillips’ classroom.”

  Arrogant arsehole. Flipping him the bird, I turn my back on him. I can’t look at him now. He saw what I did. I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t.

  “Dance with me?” he whispers, his lips an inch away from my ear. “Please, luv.”

  No. I don’t need to dance with him. Last time I almost lost myself in him. That’s not possible now. I’m here with Aiden. Whether or not I’m pouring Ex-lax into his cup. “No.” Why is he asking me anyway; isn’t he here with that brunette bimbo?

  “Come on. One dance, and I’ll leave you alone. But, we both know you don’t want me to do that, luv.”

  “Go dance with your date.”

  A calloused hand wraps around my elbow and I’m turned toward him. He looks down at me through shaded eyes. “I want you to dance with me, not her.”

  Warmth spreads in-between my thighs. My damn hormones betraying me once again. “Lachlan—”

  “Hush,” he says, before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me out to the middle of the reception floor. A few more couples are dancing and a few fathers and daughters are dancing.

  When we get to the center, Lachlan turns me toward him. One hand wraps around my own and the other one is on my hip.

  He smiles down at me. “See, I won’t bite, babe. Unless, you want me to.”

  Heat swarms my cheeks, but I look over his shoulder to keep from blushing harder. “So, I see you’re back with Aiden.”

  “What’s it to you?” I snap back.