Hunger (Some Say Love #1)

by Jane Smith

  “NO,” she panicked. “Don't stop, don't stop, god, don't stop, this feels so good.” She closed her eyes and willed her pussy to stop coming long enough to savor this moment.

  He smiled as he picked up the pace. “You don't want me to stop? You want me to fuck you harder?” He didn't wait for an answer, he filled her with the rest of his cock in one steady motion, deeper than she’d ever imagined. He brought her to climax again and it just didn't stop.

  For the next few hours, he teased her and taunted her with one orgasm on top of another, slowing down, speeding up, and changing positions for a different angle. Each new position was perfectly timed to keep her coming over and over. She was exhausted and buzzing and shaking by the time he was done.

  He was ravenous, tossing her into new positions like she was a rag doll, and each one felt better than the one before. He said the sexiest and dirtiest things the entire time. She was coming down from one huge orgasm that left a puddle on the sheet and he grabbed her by the hips, turned her over again, and said, “I'm not done with you yet.” before pounding into her from behind. As she arched her back in response to another orgasm, he bit the back of her neck like an animal. Her body relaxed in response to the pain and he whispered in her ear, “I’m glad you like that.” She laughed, “So am I. That was hard.”

  It was one in the morning before they had each had enough and fell asleep smiling and tangled up together. Kelsey was afraid she'd have trouble waking up in the morning but she didn't care. All she cared about was making sure she could do this again soon.

  Suddenly, it was four in the morning. She felt his mouth before she felt his hands, nibbling at her nipple while his fingers stroked the inside of her thigh. She could feel his erection pressing into her side and turned toward him. He entered her quicker this time, saying, “I just can't get enough of you.”

  When her alarm went off at 6am, she asked him for just one more time. “Please, this has been the best night ever. I don't want it to end.”

  He said, “Let's get you into the shower so you can get back to work on time. I have a meeting at 2:00 and I have to get on the road.”

  He took her in the shower again, after scrubbing her entire body with a rich, foamy lather. His soapy hands felt like heaven on her skin and she found herself straddling him on the shower bench, with the water beating down her back, making her hair heavy and filling her lungs with steam. Afterward, he turned off the water, wrapped her in a towel and patted her down, backing off only when he realized that this wouldn't get them out the door faster. She headed back into the bathroom with her overnight bag, emerged with her curls towel-dried, put on her jeans and sweater, and headed toward the door.

  He met her there with a kiss and grabbed a handful of hair at the nape of her neck, whispering into her ear, “I want you to remember this forever. I want you to think about this all day long and I want you to text me every time your mind wanders back to the night we just had.” She was in shock. Of course this would be the source of all her sexual fantasies forever. She’d had no idea sex could even be this good. She drove to work dazed and blissed out and 100% positive that her coworkers would tease her for being sex-drunk at work.

  Michael was her favorite thing in the world. She needed more of him.

  Chapter 21

  Amanda knocked on the door after she came home from work, with a bottle of wine, presents for the kids, and two wine glasses. Kelsey sent a quick and dirty text to Michael to postpone their phone call, since Amanda was visiting uninvited. When Amanda shows up with wine, it’s because she needs to talk.

  Kelsey’s kids were busy playing with their new iPads and Kelsey was packing a few boxes in preparation for the upcoming move. There wasn’t much she wanted to save from her old life and most of the boxes were destined for donation. Charles had provided her with more than enough to furnish the new home, and the rest of her household items were drenched in awful memories.

  Sarabeth was not doing well. Kelsey had been helping Amanda with her expenses and Sarabeth was back in the hospital, this time for a serious infection that killed people in her condition more often than they survived. She would need to be transferred to a hospital in the city, she’d need surgery to remove the dying tissue, and she’d need several weeks of aftercare, medication, and additional procedures.

  Kelsey hated seeing her friend suffering. She often felt guilty that her own children were so healthy and that every minute of Amanda’s days were spent wondering when her daughter would die. Things were looking dark. Kelsey helped Amanda with the money she needed to manage the hospital transport and to stay in the city during the procedures. She was grateful that she even had that to give.

  When Amanda had cleared away the troubling thoughts of her own daughter’s condition, she wanted to hear about Kelsey’s love life. It was, by far, the most exciting topic on their list.

  Amanda started, “Has Brian signed the papers yet?”

  Kelsey nodded. “Yes, actually. It couldn’t have been more perfect. He sent me a text that said, “How soon can we get this over with, I want to start dating?” and I think he might have been trying to rile me up or get me back or something, but I had the paperwork in hand. I hadn’t even opened the envelope from the attorney, it was sitting on my kitchen counter and every time I looked at it I was wondering how I was going to get him to agree and sign it. I mean, the restraining order says we’re not supposed to communicate. So I answered him back, which is technically against the rules, but all I told him was that I had the paperwork right then.”

  Kelsey was nervous about allowing the restraining order to be violated. “I couldn’t let him come over to the house and it would freak me out to have him here, anyway. So I had Mr. Miles from next door meet him at Denny’s with the paperwork. They never got along anyway. I waited in the car but he didn’t know that.”

  Amanda raised her eyebrows. “So, did he object to the child support or visitation schedule?”

  Kelsey smiled, still amazed by how it went down. “Actually, he barely read it at all. I saw him sitting at a booth with Mr. Miles and he sort of skimmed through a little bit. He didn’t say much, he just signed. No questions, no comments, he just signed. It couldn’t have been more perfect. All that conflict I imagined was completely in my head. Now I wish I had asked for more or something, except I asked for exactly what I wanted, so I can’t really complain. When he was finished, Mr. Miles handed him his copy of the paperwork and we left. I dropped the paperwork off at the attorney’s the next day and this afternoon I got an email from the attorney with the judge’s signature. They’re mailing me a certified official copy. It’s officially over. Today is day one of my new life. I already called the agent and told her which house I want. It’s the one we looked at with the hot tub.”

  Amanda squealed. “Yessss, thank goodness. This is so exciting. I mean, congratulations on your divorce and all, but I gotta say, I’m incredibly excited about that hot tub. Can we put Christmas lights out on the porch? Like the little white twinkly ones, and leave them up all year long? And let’s paint the kitchen red. Oh my god, this is so exciting.” She leaned forward and hugged her best friend. If anyone deserved a stable home and personal freedom, it was Kelsey. “So, what’s up with Charles?”

  Kelsey wasn’t sure where to start. “I don’t think he’s getting the clue that I won’t marry him. He keeps talking about it. He’s tried everything, it’s like he doesn’t even see that we’re wrong for each other. How can he think that badgering me into marriage is going to be a good long-term decision? The thing is that I’d be more likely to want to marry him if he’d respect that I’m not into it right now and back off. But instead, he keeps bringing it up. It’s like he doesn’t even see that a coercive relationship is not a good thing.”

  Amanda nodded her head. “My husband talked me into marrying him. He said it would be best for Sarabeth if we were married when she was born. I didn’t know anything about raising kids, but the idea that they need a mother and a father rang
true. Since we were expecting her, I let him talk me into it. But that didn’t solve our relationship problems. He just became more and more controlling because then he legally ‘owned’ me. You can’t marry someone for any reason other than an undying love. I always felt guilty for not mourning him more when he died. Do you even love Charles at all?”

  Kelsey nodded her head. “I do love him, but not in a marriage kind of way. I love him in the same way that I love my crazy uncle, or a toddler who is misbehaving. It’s not a love of equals. He’s too flawed. I mean, I’m not perfect either, but sometimes people’s flaws can be complimentary. Ours aren’t. He reminds me of Brian in that he expects me to behave in certain ways and he expects me to have certain feelings, and he’s either shocked that I don’t feel it, or he twists my words around into something I didn’t say just so that he can react with anger instead of truly hearing me and dealing with reality.”

  Amanda shook her head. “Oh my goodness, that word-twisting is the worst. There’s no way to communicate with someone who does that. Have you told him?”

  Kelsey looked down. “I have, a few times, when I’ve caught it. But he processes things much faster than I do and our conversations are always slowed down by me being surprised by how he’s interpreted things and him always assuming that I’m exercising negative intentions.”

  Amanda raised her eyebrows. “What sort of negative intentions?”

  Kelsey tilted her neck to the side and squinted her eyes. “He accuses me of using him for his money, but then he tries to lure me into marriage with money. It’s tricky, right, because we met under the shadow of me needing financial help. But he cured that the first weekend I saw him and now he keeps adding to the bank. If I never saw him again, I could live comfortably for the next few years on what he’s given me. He has no idea that a few years’ worth of security is absolutely unheard of in my world. In his world, raising two kids costs around 100k a year, but in mine it’s more like 25k. He doesn’t realize that I continue to see him because I enjoy his company, because I’m grateful for the help he’s given me, and because I know he needs a friend to help him navigate his loneliness. I think we have a lot to learn from one another. But he’s not into the idea of us sharing a relationship that’s based on our mutual personal growth. He just wants to buy a wife. And I’m not for sale.”

  Kelsey looked at her, and Amanda asked the most important question Kelsey had tried not to answer for herself. “Could you ever love him like a husband?”

  Kelsey tilted her head to the side and grabbed a tissue from the end table. “Maybe; if he could back off and give me the emotional space that I need to think in peace; if we could enjoy our time together without being haunted by the demons of his loneliness; if he didn’t use every weekend as a tool to try to ratchet me closer to marriage, I could maybe fall in love with him. But I don’t think that will ever happen.”

  Amanda shook her head from side to side. “If it’s not a ‘hell, yes’, then it’s a ‘no,’ Kels. There’s no maybe in marriage.”

  Kelsey nodded her head. She understood what Amanda was saying, but she’d just spent 15 years in an unhappy marriage with no financial benefit. If she could survive that, then surely she could survive an unhappy marriage with access to unlimited financial resources.

  Amanda hugged her friend. “I think you need to let him go, Kels. This isn’t good for you. If he’s acting like this right now about marriage, then imagine what it would be like after the wedding. He’s not the kind of guy who will be OK with living a happy and relaxing life. He’s used to getting what he wants and he’s not opposed to creating drama. I think he likes the drama. You hate drama. If he’s going to throw a tantrum and guilt you into marrying him, then there’s no end to his emotional immaturity. If you can’t keep your heart out of this and work it like a job, then you need to get out. He was the first person you found on that website. Find another. Speaking of others, how’s it going with Michael?”

  Kelsey’s smile took over her entire face and she nearly swooned at the sound of his name. “Michael is amazing. I can talk to him just as openly as I talk to you, it’s the neatest thing. And I think it makes the sex better because I can tell him anything and that he likes me, even though he knows literally everything about me.”

  Amanda smiled, “So he does know about Charles?”

  Kelsey’s eyes were wide and she nodded her head. “Yes, Mandy he does. He knows everything and he’s amazing about it. He texts me when I get back from Charles’ house to make sure I’m OK, and if I’m not, he calls me so we can talk it out.”

  Amanda was jumping out of her seat with excitement. “Oh my god, you’re kidding me, that’s amazing. He doesn’t get jealous?”

  Kelsey shook her head. “No, I was up front with him about it all from the beginning and I’ve been updating him about it constantly and he’s watching it evolve. He’s actually encouraging me to go through with the wedding, suffer through it for as long as it takes to get the divorce settlement, and then get out of there. I just can’t do it, though. I mean first of all, it would be mean, right? And second of all, I don’t want my kids subjected to another one of mom’s failed marriages. I don’t want them wrapped up in the insanity. What kind of role model would I be if I gave them front row seats to another disastrous relationship. I enjoy my freedom too much to let my daily life be filled with conflict and stress. But Michael respects that. He never tries to argue with me about anything, he’s so different than Charles.”

  Amanda smiled and winked at Kelsey. “So, you’re falling head over heels for Michael because he’s the opposite of Charles and Brian. You’re in love, aren’t you? Does he know that?”

  Kelsey blushed. “I don’t know, and I wouldn’t even call it love, we’ve only known each other for a few months. I love the friendship and sex with him, that’s for sure. I’ve spent 16 nights at his place and the only things we’ve done that’s not sex are food and conversation. He’s like a machine. I come home woozy and sore for days afterward. He is the world’s all-time best lover, I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world.”

  Amanda smiled. “I think you two have a future. I could be wrong about this, but I think there’s something special going on here. Does he tell you that he loves you?”

  Kelsey nodded and smiled. “Actually, the first time he said it, he said, “I haven’t told anyone I love them in many years and it feels weird to say this, but I do love you, Kelsey.”

  Both girls collapsed in a drunken swooning pile of “awwwwwww” and Kelsey was glad that she had Amanda to share that moment with.

  The side-by-side comparison of the ways that Charles and Michael showed their love made it perfectly clear to Kelsey that she could never, ever trade money for love. She needed to maximize this opportunity for financial stability, make the most of her time with both of them, and keep her eyes open for the moment when Charles became too much to handle. There was no way things could last forever with him. The emotional immaturity was not worth the help he was giving her. When she no longer felt like she could help him, she would have to cut him loose. In the meantime, she would continue coaching him and trying to help him find a wife.

  Chapter 22

  “I have a date,” Charles confessed, as if he thought that somehow Kelsey would be hurt by this news.

  They sat on the couch in his Portland home and Kelsey was overcome with gratitude. She wanted to praise the heavens that Charles had made such an important step toward his dreams.

  Kelsey tried not to get too excited about it. The odds of Charles finding true love with one date were slim to none, but she wanted it to be a good experience for him and she wanted him to not put too much weight on the evening, to see it as a stepping stone toward meeting “the one.” She asked him for details, “So tell me all about it, where did you meet her? Where are you taking her? Oh my goodness, aren’t you so excited?”

  Charles nodded his head, “Yes, I am excited. I found her through a matchmaker and we’re going to fly to San Franci
sco for dinner and a charity event.”

  Kelsey nodded her head and smiled. “Good call, you look amazing in a tuxedo. What do you know about her?”

  Charles sipped his wine and responded, “She has a law degree and she’s been married once before. She lives in Portland and works in the men’s department at Nordstrom.”

  Kelsey squinted her eyes. “She has a law degree, but she works at Nordstrom’s?” Something wasn’t adding up. She didn’t want to express any negativity or rain on his parade, but this didn’t sound quite right.

  Charles nodded his head. “Yes, her degree is from the Ukraine, so she doesn’t practice law here in the US.”

  Kelsey was having difficulty containing her outrage, wanting desperately for this to be a good thing, but alarms were going off in her head. Another Russian girl? Surely they couldn’t all be gold diggers, right? “I’m sure she’s lovely and if she isn’t, you’ll keep trying, right?”

  “Of course, I wasn’t born yesterday. It’s just one date. We’ll see how it turns out.”

  Chapter 23