Unintentionally Yours
Page 14
Marty smiled at him. “Your mom did a great job raising you, Josiah. I look forward to knowing you better.”
“So have I alleviated your concerns about me and Leah?”
“Let’s say I see you in an entirely different light and I’m beginning to like what I see.”
“Works for me.”
As if they’d timed their exit Leah came out, holding the door for her dad who carried a tray of ice cream sundae ingredients. She placed the ice cream churn cylinder on the table. “Oooh, cold.” Leah blew on her hands and did a little dance. “You’re about to taste the best peach ice cream you’ve ever had.” She took the scoop from the tray.
Marty smiled at Leah. “We wondered what you two were doing. It’s been forever.”
“We haven’t made ice cream all summer.”
Josiah thought she sounded like a disappointed little girl.
She held the scoop over the container. “Josiah?”
He nodded and she placed two large scoops in his bowl. She indicated the sundae items. “Help yourself.”
“You know I prefer my ice cream plain.”
“Coward.”
Leah liked extras on her ice cream. She had taunted him about adding this or that on the numerous times they’d gone out for ice cream but he’d stuck with plain ice cream.
“Mom?”
“Just one scoop for me. I’ve indulged far too much lately. My clothes are getting tight.”
Leah filled her father’s and then her own bowl and they dithered over the items before settling on their preferences.
“Mmmm. Scrumptious,” she declared after swallowing the first bite.
“Best ice cream I’ve had all summer.” Ben spooned another bite into his mouth.
Leah waved her spoon at her mother and Josiah. “So did you two get a chance to talk?”
Josiah glanced at Marty Wright. “We did.”
Leah smiled. “Good. I want my favorite people to like each other.”
Later, after they said their good-nights and walked out to his truck, Leah was fastening her seat belt when Josiah reached to open the glove compartment. He pulled out the letter. “I’ll be right back.” He jogged to the front door and rang the bell. Ben answered and they disappeared back inside.
Minutes later, when Josiah climbed back into the truck, Leah asked, “What was that about?”
He started the truck. “Just returning something to its rightful owner. I’m glad to have it out of my possession. Maybe now I can stop worrying.”
“So you gave the letter back to Mom? I hope she locks it up or runs it through the shredder.”
“It’s her property, whatever she decides to do with it, though I do suspect she’ll put it out of the way of prying hands and eyes.”
“I wasn’t prying.”
“Okay, your helping hands and my prying eyes.”
As they drove toward her condo, Leah’s heart grew heavy. Cecily had said they weren’t going to mention what happened but how could she not? She couldn’t keep secrets and expect him to trust her. “Josiah?”
“Hmm?”
“I have to tell you something.”
He turned the radio down. “What’s that?”
Leah swallowed hard and started talking before she lost her nerve. “Cecily knows about the letter. She found it when we used your truck the other day. She had questions and I answered them.”
Josiah stomped on the brakes and wheeled into a parking lot. He reached up and turned on the interior light. “You did what? Why didn’t you tell me before? What do you mean you answered her questions? You don’t even know what it says.” He saw the way she backed away from him.
“She didn’t read the letter.”
“How did she find it?”
“She spilled her coffee and was looking for a napkin. I almost died when I saw what she had in her hand.”
He slammed his palms against the steering wheel, feeling the sting as they hit the hard rubber. “I knew I should have thrown that thing away.”
“She didn’t read it.”
Why did she keep repeating that? Did Leah think it mattered? “I don’t care. She’ll fret over the contents and make herself miserable. I knew this would happen. Mom’s the only person in the world I need to protect and I can’t even do that.”
“Cecily doesn’t need protection. She’s stronger than you think.”
“What is it with you Wright women? You and Marty don’t know anything about my mom. Or me, for that matter. I trusted you, Leah. You promised not to tell her.”
“What was I supposed to do? Smack her hand and tell her to put it back?”
“Don’t be facetious. It doesn’t become you.”
“Well, you’re being ridiculous and it doesn’t become you, either. Ask your mom what happened. She’ll tell you.”
“Just forget it. This is exactly what I knew would happen.”
He pulled out into the street and drove directly to her condo and left the engine running.
“Aren’t you coming in to discuss this?”
He wouldn’t look at her. “No. I’m going home. I need to think about how I can fix this.”
“There’s nothing to fix. Cecily isn’t as heartbroken as you seem to think.”
“You can’t understand.”
“I guess I can’t. Good night, Josiah.”
She got out and he drove away without a word.
Chapter 13
Leah accepted the check her father handed her. She’d worked in the office a couple of days and the money would get her through another month.
It was late and they were in Ben’s office. Leah propped against the large executive desk as he worked at his computer. Everyone else had gone for the day. “What happened between you and Josiah?”
It had been a week since the dinner and he had not called in that time. Leah had considered contacting him, trying to explain again that nothing happened, but she found herself resenting Josiah’s behavior. And that comment that his mom was the only person in the world he needed to protect. If he cared, he would feel the same about her.
She shrugged. “I haven’t heard from him. I guess he’s still thinking about how he can fix things.”
Ben leaned back in his chair and frowned up at her. “Fix what?”
“This thing with Cecily finding the letter.”
Concern flashed onto Ben’s face. “You told him?”
Leah nodded. “He was totally unrealistic. It was his glove compartment. What was I supposed to do? Here’s this letter to her husband with my mom’s name on the return label. Surely Josiah didn’t think I could blink my eyes and, poof, it’s gone.” She shoved her hair over her shoulder. “I told her Josiah would be upset. Now he doesn’t trust me.”
“Seems he must be pretty angry if he’s not seeing you.”
Leah had spent hours trying to understand Josiah’s concern. Did he really think Cecily had no idea of the kind of man her husband had been? Could a woman spend more than thirty years with someone she loved and not know everything about him?
“What are you going to do?”
She shrugged. “Not much I can do. He says I don’t understand and I really don’t. He’s obsessed with this situation. He called the letter our secret. I told him from the beginning that I would not lie. He’s the one who stuck it in the glove compartment.”
“But you were the one who mailed it.” Her father reminded Leah of her role. “Are you still working with Cecily?”
“We’re finished. I don’t think she knows Josiah and I aren’t dating each other.”
“She and Peter are seeing each other pretty often.”
A jolt of happiness for Cecily shot through Leah.
“He’s driven over to Topsail Bea
ch to take her out to dinner a few times. And he’s met her new friends and really likes them.”
“At least one Byrd is moving on with life. I hope they make each other happy. Cecily is a sweet lady.”
“They clicked right away.”
Leah nodded agreement. “I saw Uncle Peter’s reaction.”
Her dad dug through the stack of folders. “It’s good to see him happy again. Any movement on the job front?”
She shook her head. “Not lately. I guess Cecily ran out of friends or else the others aren’t interested in organization.”
“What will you do?”
Leah considered the thoughts that had filled her head. Maybe it was time to share them with her father and see what he recommended. “I think it’s time I found a real job.”
Ben looked concerned. “Are you in trouble financially?”
She waved the check. “The bills are paid this month but I’m tired of living this hand-to-mouth existence. I need to find something with benefits and get myself a retirement plan going. I’m not getting any younger.”
“Do you have any savings?”
“Not really.”
Her dad looked thoughtful. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Josiah told your mom you got very emotional when Champ died and said you felt you’d let us down. You didn’t blame yourself for that, did you?”
Leah felt her skin color. “I suppose I did. You planned the trip of a lifetime and here I am at home sabotaging everything.”
“Champ was old, Leah. What’s really going on?”
“I’ve been praying and reading my Bible and trying to understand why I don’t feel I’ve accomplished anything worthwhile with my life.”
Her words put him up in arms. “How can you say that? You’re a wonderful person. A wonderful daughter.”
“And you’re my father. You’re expected to say things like that, but what have I ever done to really make you and Mom proud?”
“We love you, Leah.”
“I’m twenty-eight years old. I should at least have a good-paying job and a significant other in my life. I felt such hope when Josiah and I were together. For a while, I thought that just maybe God had sent the man He intended for me. But he wasn’t. That man wouldn’t turn his back on me for such a stupid reason.”
“Perhaps it’s not stupid to him.”
His comment hit Leah hard and she nearly cried as she considered her unworthiness. “I know. I’ve downplayed this to keep myself from feeling so bad about what I did.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, honey. That’s part of life.”
“It’s just another excuse, Dad. It frustrates me that I live in a one-bedroom condo, drive a leased car and I’m holding on by the skin of my teeth in hopes that I won’t be one of those adult kids forced to move back home.”
“You’re always welcome.”
“I know. But I need to do something meaningful with my life. Something that will make you and Mom beam and say that’s my girl.”
“We do that all the time. You’re well-loved by the people who count you among their friends. Not to mention the adults who watched you grow up.”
She flashed him a self-deprecating smile. “Please, Daddy. When you were my age, you were a dentist, husband and father. Mom was a loan officer, wife and mother. She worked to support the family while you got your degree. Neither of you opted to live from paycheck to paycheck like I do.”
He snorted. “We haven’t always had money in the bank. There were lean times when I was in school. Your mother worked hard and dealt with her guilt over putting you in day care and I dealt with mine over her having to work. It wasn’t easy but we survived. And since we never had another child it benefited you to socialize with children your age.”
“You’ve been wonderful parents. I’m blessed to have you in my life. I just want to be a better daughter.”
She had never seen him look so nonplussed.
“What do you want me to do, Leah? Push you out of the nest? Shove you out of your comfort zone and shout ‘Go forth and spread your wings’?”
Leah smiled at his dramatic waving of his arms. “I don’t think we need to be quite that symbolic but the time has come for me to take a big step forward in life.”
Determination set his strong masculine face. “Then do it. There’s nothing you’ve ever set your mind to that you didn’t accomplish.”
Love for him filled Leah. Her parents were so wonderful. She wished Josiah could have had a dad like hers. He would have been a different man.
“Did you read Mom’s letter?”
He shook his head. “It was personal. After Josiah gave it back to her, Marty reread the letter for the first time since she sealed that envelope over thirty years ago. She shared some of what she said but deemed it stupid and petty on her part. Said she sinned by not forgiving Joe. Her inability to forgive him has worried her for years.”
Leah nodded. “Mom always stressed forgive and forget.”
“Probably because she saw it as a weakness in herself. Joe Byrd embarrassed Marty. Her first college boyfriend made a fool out of her.
“When I told her why Joe wasn’t coming back, she poured out her frustrations. She needed to talk and I was willing to listen.”
“She should have confronted him.”
“Marty knew it would serve no purpose. Joe wasn’t the type to say he was sorry. And she didn’t feel it would be fair to his wife. I told her she needed to let go of the anger. But she was humiliated. Marty spent that entire semester fuming over Joseph Byrd.”
“And that didn’t bother you?”
“I felt her pain. I was angry with Joe for making her sad. I stood by for more than two years while she treated me like a brother.”
Leah’s eyes widened. “A brother? Really?”
He chuckled. “Well, we did flirt a lot. She introduced me to her friends and they told me Marty said I was handsome and smart.”
“So she compared you to Joseph Byrd and you scored top of the list.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think she did. When I kissed her that first time, she said she was so glad none of her friends had snapped me up. I like to believe she came to love me for who I am. Not for who I wasn’t.”
Leah sighed heavily. “I caused so many problems.”
“It wasn’t intentional. This has never been an issue in our marriage, Leah. I love your mom and we’re very happily married. Joe Byrd has been nonexistent to us, but now that there seems to be a Byrd around every corner, we have to deal with the situation.”
“And you weren’t troubled that Mom didn’t choose you first?”
Ben grinned, shaking his head at her persistence. “Girl, you’re like a dog worrying a bone with that question. I got the girl I loved and that’s all that matters. I was her friend and then our love grew. We’ve been very happy and that love will continue until death do us part.
“God sometimes has a way of forcing the issue. Joseph Byrd’s name has been mentioned in my house more in the past couple of months than in all the years we’ve been married. Marty’s not wearing her heart on her sleeve for him. He hurt her pride. No one likes being deceived by a friend.”
“What kind of man was he?”
“We were kids, Leah. Self-centered jocks who were more interested in playing football and chasing girls than exploring the depths of our souls.
“Joe’s parents weren’t very supportive. He always said he was going to be the best and make them see what they had missed. When Joe got the scholarship, Jim made it clear that he thought it was a waste of time. Joe saw the scholarship as an out. It got him away from his parents but deep down inside he knew what he would do. Then he dug himself into another hole. Some would say he was a no-luck-at-all kind of person, but he was more of the leap-before-he-looked type.
“He wasn’t a believer?”
“No. My parents warned me about him all the time. Everyone considered Joseph a wild child and they thought he would get me into trouble. I kept my head screwed on right and didn’t let him lead me down the wrong path. I defended him when they said those things because he was my friend.”
“Why wouldn’t he love his son?”
“I suspect Joe loved him in the only way he knew how. He provided well for his family.”
“I hate it for Josiah. I wish him nothing but happiness.”
She’d struggled with her feelings. Cried her tears in private and decided there was no way she could change the situation.
“That’s my girl. And that’s the sort of thing that makes me beam. Your mother and I are proud of the person you’ve become.”
“Thanks, Daddy.” Leah picked up a framed photo of her parents in front of the Eiffel Tower. “This is new.”
“Your mom gave it to me. It’s her favorite photo from our trip.”
She glanced around at the other photos in the room. Her mom, Leah with her mom, family shots of the three of them and her dad beaming as he held his infant daughter.
Leah longed for photos like these.
“So what are you going to do about these doubts of yours?”
She turned back to her dad. “Set some goals and write them down. Susan said she read that people who did were usually successful. Then I’ll get my résumé together and hopefully find a job that fulfills me as much as organization does.”
Ben stood and hugged his daughter. “I pray for you always, honey. That God will give you to the happiness you deserve. Your mother and I are willing to help if you decide you want to return to school.”
She hugged him back. “Thanks, but it’s past time I utilize the education you’ve already paid for and find myself a job.” The large pendulum clock on his wall chimed the hour. “You’d better head for home. Mom’s going to be wondering where you are.”