Her Lawful Master (Pleasure Island Book 4)

by Anya Summers

  A firm, muscled hand wrapped around her bicep from behind. Piper screamed bloody murder. They were going to hurt her again, make her beg them to stop, make her wish she would just die already to make the pain stop. She stumbled as she tried to wrench herself away as the past overshadowed everything. She fought him—them—using her fists, she beat against his chest. Piper kicked, she punched, she forgot her self-defense training as her panic overrode every logical thought process in her full-on attack. She couldn’t see the surrounding beach but was back on that grassy plain with a camp fire smoking heavily nearby. Dark faces hovered over her. The slapping of flesh and her shrieks pierced the night as they hooted and grunted.

  It was the last bit that zapped her ability to fight. She caved, wanting it over, wanting to feel relief and peace. She curled into a ball, turning inward where there was no pain. The horrid men didn’t exist there. Tears streamed unheeded down her face, blinding her vision.

  “Piper, Piper. Please talk to me, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.

  “Come on, sweetie, it’s okay. Piper, can you hear me, love? Say something, anything…

  “Piper, I’ve got you. Nothing’s going to happen to you. Talk to me.” Theo’s deep bass, laced with concern, finally broke through her terror. His strong arms circled her as he gently rocked her on his lap. One of his big hands tenderly stroked down her back in a calming, soothing rhythm.

  “Piper, can you hear me? Talk to me, love. What just happened?” Theo’s craggy, handsome face hovered over hers. It was like seeing sunlight after being in a darkened room for days. She used the naked worry in his cinnamon eyes as an anchor to pull herself out of the quagmire of her nightmare.

  As the past receded and the bright light of day entered her field of vision, she realized that she’d had an attack. It was the first one she had experienced in almost a year, probably because she’d let her defenses down last night. That was one of the main reasons why she usually kept her emotions firmly in check, controlling how much she allowed in or out. It made her panic attacks easier to control and she could go for longer periods between occurrences.

  Shame filled her—that she’d let Theo witness an occurrence. She hated being viewed as weak or helpless.

  “I’m sorry. You can put me down now. Please, I promise I’m okay. I’m sorry that you had to see that,” Piper said in a rush, when what she wanted was to escape his steady gaze and lick her wounds in private. She hated people seeing her like this, even her therapist, whom she had known for more than a decade.

  Theo shook his head, his stare fixed on her, and said, “No. I’m not letting you up until you talk to me. What happened?”

  She closed her eyes, moisture still seeping from them. She had been crying and not even realized it. This had been a bad one. Maybe it was because she was so twisted up by Theo and their session, and she was so tired all the time from working too much. Except, she couldn’t erase the fact that it had occurred or that Theo had witnessed it. What she could do was take steps to ensure she didn’t have another one, since they tended to come in threes. As for explaining her attack to Theo, she didn’t want to go there. It was why she had avoided relationships with Doms in the first place, keeping her interactions to a one-night thing, because they always wanted to fix a sub. The problem was, there were some hurts that went far too deep, and no matter how much time passed, this wound would never fully heal.

  “I can’t. Please, just let me go, Sir,” she pleaded with him, not caring that she had to resort to begging.

  One of Theo’s dark brows rose as he contemplated her and said, “It’s not going to happen, love, so you may as well give up. Tell me what just happened, why did you go nuclear?”

  She winced when she spied angry red gouges in his chest peeking above his tank top. They were the size and breadth of her fingernails. She’d done that: hurt him—not much, but she had left marks on him and the damage had been done. And the sad part was she didn’t remember physically doing it. When her attacks were that bad, she didn’t even know where she was anymore.

  She looked down at her hands. Her cuticles really needed a trim. Then she inhaled a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry. I had a panic attack. I get them from time to time.”

  “What precipitates the attacks? Maybe it’s something I can help you with this week.”

  She shook her head. That was the last thing she wanted. She had to end this with him, now, before he dug too deep. She pleaded with him, “Theo, don’t, please. Don’t go looking to be a white knight and try to save me from myself. This isn’t something that will go away in a week, or a year, or ever. I’m sorry that you had to see it, but it’s best for all concerned if you leave me alone.”

  “Like hell. Piper, even if I didn’t want you, I would still not leave you to your own devices after seeing that. I wouldn’t leave anyone suffering.”

  Which was why she kept her distance. She’d tried the whole Dom attempting to fix her routine and it had failed spectacularly. Piper knew the best course of action on her part was to withdraw and retreat. “But you can’t fix me. Nothing can. Just trust me on this, and let me go.”

  “Not a chance. Besides, how do you know if you don’t try?” Theo was so earnest in his belief, it made a part of her want to trust him with her darkest horror, to lay it at his feet, and let him go all super Dom on her.

  She laughed then, a bitter, sharp bark even to her ears. Who the hell was she kidding? There was no hope for it and she snapped, “What do you even know about it, with your cushy life and ‘I’m a big bad Dom’ attitude? I’ll tell you. You know nothing about me. I’ve been trying to get over it for fourteen damn years. Do you really think that I haven’t tried that already?”

  “Don’t think you know me either, Piper. You think my life is easy or cushy? I’ve watched another man help raise my son with my ex-wife. Donald’s a decent enough bloke, but Jacob is my son. Do you think for a second that’s been easy, or ‘cushy,’ as you say it? Fuck no, it hasn’t, but at least I asked for help. So it didn’t work the first time around. Big deal.”

  “And you don’t think I haven’t tried? Theo, I have a therapist on speed dial. These panic attacks are not new and they aren’t going away. I can control them, keep a lid on them if I… never mind what I have to do to control them. It’s not your problem, just please leave it be and let me go.”

  He shook his head, his face hard as granite, and she knew deep down he wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. He said, “No. Not until I get some answers. Why did the panic attack happen just now? What triggered it, so I can know not to do it in the future? And why do you have them, what do they stem from? You owe me that at least, since I will be walking around with your claw marks for the remainder of the week.”

  “I’m truly sorry about those. I didn’t know I was doing it. Let’s just say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and bad things happened. Things you don’t just get over—if ever—and ever since that event, I’ve had panic attacks. It’s why I don’t do public scenes, ever. I had one just now because of last night,” she explained, needing him to understand that their little arrangement had to come to an end.

  His arms stiffened and he glared, his eyes going cold as he asked, “What do you mean, because of last night?”

  “Because I submitted to you completely. It opened the doorway I normally keep contained and likely dredged it up.” Guilt swamped her. She wasn’t blaming him, but she had to make him walk away. It was the only way she’d get her peace of mind back.

  Theo’s hand tilted her face up toward his and he held her steady. “Then we are going to have to work on that this week. And I will help you. You can’t keep yourself in an emotionless box for the rest of your life, Piper. You have to open up to someone.”

  That’s where he was wrong. She explained, her breaths shuddering out of her lungs, “It hurts me more if I do. I can’t be who or what you want me to be. I just don’t have that in me. Maybe I did once, but that woman died
fourteen years ago and she’s not coming back.”

  He stroked her cheek tenderly with his thumb. “It’s also a lonely way to live.”

  It was, she couldn’t deny that fact. Except, she was used to being on her own and not counting on anyone. She’d been alone for so long, it was the only method of existence she was familiar with anymore. Piper attempted to downplay the truth of his words, unwilling to display just how much her single status did bother her and how broken it made her feel. So she shrugged and said, “But it works for me. Why rock the boat?”

  “Because the woman who came undone under my hands last night deserves to exist with as much passion for living as she does her photography,” he murmured, his eyes softer, with a wealth of meaning in their depths that made her belly clench.

  Piper looked at him then, really looked at him. Theo hadn’t dumped her in the sand and walked away when she was embroiled in her episode. Instead, he’d offered comfort and soothed her, bringing her back from the darkness inside. He’d heard a neutered version of her attack and hadn’t batted an eye. Was he strong enough to know the whole truth? Could she clasp at the tiny tendril of hope and open the door for more? She was so tired of being on her own all the time. As much as she professed to be okay with her single status, she wasn’t, not really. It was an act on her part, because she hated being portrayed as a victim and didn’t want other people’s pity. When, in truth, she yearned for a firm shoulder to lean on once in a while, when the weight of her world grew too heavy for her to carry on her own. And he surprised her with his steadfast sense of honor in not leaving her while she was freaking out on him. She wasn’t used to people sticking by her—other than those she’d paid to do so.

  Her heart shivered. Going on instinct alone, she erased the distance separating them and brushed her lips against his. Theo saw her like no one else did. No Dom had ever said she had passion. Most thought she was a cold fish, and incapable of the most basic human responses. How or why Theo could see her for who she was, and did not condemn her because she wasn’t this paragon of submissive virtue, caused warmth to spread in her chest.

  Then Piper kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth, tracing its form. His stubble scraped deliciously against her flesh, causing goosebumps to break out over her skin. She knew some women didn’t care for beards or five o’clock shadows, decrying that they were uncomfortable. But she adored the rough texture against her skin. Piper outlined his mouth, seeking entrance, wanting—nay, needing—to show him how much it meant to her that he hadn’t left her when it mattered most. She wasn’t ready to examine her feelings, but she could show him her appreciation and submit to him. It was only when she caressed his tongue, tangling it in a heady duel with hers, that Theo made his move, like he had been waiting to discover how far she would go first before he assumed control of their make-out session.

  And then Theo kissed her as if his life depended upon it.

  He held her, cradled within his arms, on a secluded beach, and kissed her like no man ever had before. As if she mattered. It was an intoxicating and altogether new experience for Piper. Maybe it was the fact that he knew a bit about her attack, and a bond forged with him, forming as he kissed her senseless.

  It terrified her.

  Piper feared depending upon someone who would eventually leave her, discard her once they learned the full extent of her traumatic experience. Just as she was about to withdraw and break their connection, one of Theo’s sinful hands undid the button clasp on her shorts and snaked beneath the linen material, delving beneath her panties to her sex. Two of his long fingers caressed her pussy, fondling her clitoris. Her eyes closed as pleasure sparked at his touch. The digits circling her nub teased and cajoled her body into heightened awareness. It was as if Piper’s body had been chemically calibrated to respond to Theo. Desire pulsed through her veins as he stroked her sensitive flesh. She moaned into his mouth when he nipped her bottom lip, leaving her with no doubt as to his intensions.

  With everything that had occurred this morning, she conceded, opening her legs wider and granting him access. He growled into her mouth as he plundered deeper while his fingers caressed her folds. Then he penetrated her quivering channel with two digits, pushing forward until they were embedded deep within, her walls clasping at him. His thumb circled her clitoris, pressing against the bud as his fingers began to rhythmically pump inside her.

  She canted her hips, meeting his sweltering thrusts, and gave herself over into his hands. Literally. Each roll of her hips sparked embers of pleasure that speared her system. Her body became intricately tuned to Theo’s, grasping at his fingers, trying to pull him deeper inside, and she never stopped kissing him. Telling him with more than words that she appreciated how he’d brought her back down from her panicked state, and how much she wanted him.

  Theo was relentless as he stoked her passionate flames higher, adding a third and then a fourth finger, stretching her sheath as he plunged. Over and over, he thrust, driving her body toward a blistering climax. She writhed, riding his hand as scorching flames incinerated her being, her core tightening in on itself as the blaze grew hotter.

  Piper jolted, her pussy flooding with moisture as a fireworks display erupted inside her body, and she clenched and shuddered around his thrusting fingers as her climax hit. She moaned into his mouth as wave upon wave of pleasure overflowed and she trembled with the force of it. Theo didn’t remove his hand until the pulsations in her sheath diminished. Then he withdrew his digits from her apex. Her eyes fluttered open when he lifted his mouth from hers. He lifted his hand, coated with her dew, and swallowed the fingers into his mouth, his tongue licking up all her cream and tasting her essence.

  Riveted by his actions, lust encapsulated her. Theo’s erotic nature was attuned with her energy. His actions stirred her, and even though she’d just had an orgasm, she craved more of his loving. Maybe it was an escape she sought. A brief chance to erase the horrible morning memories of her panic attack. But she didn’t care what the reasoning was or whether it would bite her in the ass later. She wanted him.

  “Thank you for telling me.” He shifted her off his lap to her feet and then stood, donning his lawyer-esque, bland, boring façade. Theo gave her a slight nod, dismissing her like she was nothing more than a secretary and said, “I will let you get back to your work.”

  If it weren’t for the bulge in his shorts and the banked embers in his eyes, she’d have said he was an eunuch to have brought her to climax and then walk away without a thought for getting off himself.

  Like hell he was leaving. She said, gesturing toward his crotch, “No, clearly we aren’t done yet.”

  “Piper, don’t worry about me. We will reconvene this evening. I have work to see to.”

  Now he was the one shutting her down and it scared her. He had already put four feet between them when she scrambled up to her feet. Was he worried that he had tangled with the crazy woman? She couldn’t let him leave here like this, and did the first thing that popped into her head. She stripped. Her tank top and bra landed in the sand at her feet, followed a swift second later by her shorts and panties.

  She never took her eyes off him. The distance he’d attempted to erect dropped away as each garment hit the sand. The embers in his eyes shifted, turning into hungry, dark flames. It was her turn to entice him, draw him out of his shell. Maybe that was why they seemed to mesh so well. In all those spiritual self-help books she’d studied as she’d worked toward healing herself internally, they always mentioned that like recognized like, like attracted like. So perhaps Theo was a bit of an island himself, just like her.

  Piper held out her hand, waiting for him to make a move, one way or another. Her breath caught in her throat. If he turned away from her now, after everything, it would be worse than if he’d run while she’d had her attack. On the edge of anxiety, she wondered if it would be the tipping point that would make her shatter if he walked.

  Theo appeared to have an internal debate with himself th
at lasted a minute or more. It felt like a lifetime. But then he reached for the hem of his shirt and nearly tore off the offending garment. His shorts followed. The man took her breath away. Tall, muscled, with his erection jutting proudly, his powerful thighs and calves dusted with fine, dark hair. Absolutely mouthwatering. Piper’s body was electrified by his nude form.

  Only then did Theo approach her. His hand closed around her smaller one, and he towed her into the surf until they were waist deep. Then he pulled her into the circle of his arms, his hands stroking down her back until they cupped her butt. His erection pressed into her belly. Every place their bodies touched became electrified. Her body molded itself to his. She was more than ready for him, to feel the weight of his cock pound away inside her. Sliding her arms around his neck and hoisting her legs around his waist, Piper wrapped her body around his. It fit his length along her apex and pleasure speared her. This was her choice. He was her choice as she rubbed her sex against his member.

  Theo groaned at her antics, his hips thrusting against her ministrations. Then he moaned. “Bloody hell, I don’t have any protection, love, we might need to—”

  “I can’t get pregnant, if that’s what you’re concerned about. We don’t need it.” There wasn’t any chance in hell she was letting him get away from her. She couldn’t have kids and was clean. All members in their club were routinely tested for STDs, so that wasn’t a concern.

  “Are you certain?” he asked, his eyes searching hers for confirmation.

  Instead of a verbal response, as an answer, Piper reached between their bodies, grasped his shaft, lifted her hips, and fit the head of his erection at her opening. Then she thrust her hips down. Theo groaned, his grip on her ass cheeks tightened, and he dug his fingers in as he held her, fully embedded in her channel.