Scattered Colors

by Jessica Prince

  A deep red blush climbed up my neck to my cheeks as my eyes grew wide at his insinuation. Parker chuckled as he leaned past me and pulled my front door closed before grabbing hold of my hand and leading me toward his truck. Once inside the warm cab, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. He was intense; we were intense together, but even with the emotional upheaval I felt in his presence, I had no doubt I still wasn’t quite ready to take that step with him. Yes, what I felt for Parker was more than I’d ever felt for any boy I’d ever dated—I could take those past emotions and multiply them by twenty and that was what I felt for Parker—but one thing my mother had always stressed was to never do something I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of. And things were way too new for me to be that sure of Parker.

  The cold whip of air that filled the cab as Parker opened the driver’s side door and climbed in yanked me from my musings. I sat in silence, studying his profile as he threw the truck into drive and headed in the direction of school. After a few minutes, his hand found mine and he used it to pull me to the middle of the bench seat. “What are you thinking so hard about?” he asked, briefly taking his eyes off the road long enough to shoot me a questioning glance.

  “Um…I’m not…I mean I never…um, had sex.” I somehow managed to stutter, feeling like my skin was on fire as I concentrated on twisting my fingers together nervously in my lap. I could no longer look at him, the admission was so embarrassing.

  In my peripheral vision, I saw his head snap in my direction quickly before turning back to the road. Silence enveloped the cab of the truck for several seconds before he finally asked, “You’re a virgin, Freya?”

  God, I hated that question. Seriously, was it so bad to still be a virgin at seventeen? Why was that so hard to believe in our society? “Yes,” I answered firmly, trying to sound more confident than I felt at the moment. My gaze remained pinned on the windshield as we turned into the school parking lot. When Parker finally came to a stop and put the truck in park, he turned his body fully toward me and waited for me to look at him. When he finally grew impatient with my reluctance, his fingers gently grasped hold of my chin and turned my face to his. Sincerity shined through the darkness as he leaned in and gave me a brief kiss.

  “Baby, don’t be embarrassed. Not around me.”

  “I’m not embarrassed,” I lied weakly. “I’m just…I guess I hadn’t really thought about it until this morning.” I pulled my chin from his fingers and looked back down at my lap. I couldn’t say the next part if I was looking at him, and I needed to say it. “I’m just not ready for that right now. What if you get bored with me? What if you decide you don’t want to wait around for me to be ready?”

  He’d clearly had enough of my looking at anything but him, because the next thing I knew his strong hands were around my waist and lifting me up until I was seated firmly in his lap.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, startled by the frustration in his expression.

  “You’re obviously getting in your own head about this, so I needed to make sure I had your damn attention,” he stated heatedly. “First of all, I don’t care that you’re a virgin. Honestly, I’m thrilled that no other guy has touched you before. I’m over the moon, freaking ecstatic about it! That means when you finally do decide you’re ready to be with me, everything about you will be mine. You’ll be giving me something no one else can ever have.”

  He sounded so certain, so self-assured, that I found myself holding my breath as he continued. “I could never, ever get tired of waiting for you, sweetheart. I don’t care if it takes years for you to finally feel ready. I need you to get that through your head now. I was miserable until I met you. That first day on the beach, when you gave me a verbal ass-whipping was the first time I can remember being happy in years. I actually looked forward to seeing you again just so I could try to rile you up. Christ, you’re so cute when you get all pissy, baby.”

  The pressure building in my chest forced me to exhale and suck in a ragged breath. I cut my eyes and glared, but there was no anger behind them. “That’s why you were always messing with me?”

  Parker leaned in and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. “You made it clear you didn’t like me. The only way I could get your attention was to push your buttons.”

  “How romantic,” I deadpanned. “You know, you could have just tried being a little bit nicer. That would have been a lot more helpful.”

  His temple rubbed against mine as he pulled back to look at me. “You told me everything happens for a reason, and that got me thinking. I think there was a reason your dad picked Sommerspoint of all places. I think it was destiny that brought you here. We both need each other, Freya. There isn’t anyone in my life who understands everything I’ve been through the way you do, and I think the same holds true for you. I think we were meant to heal each other. I feel calmer and more alive at the same time when you walk in the room. That has to mean something.”

  “Like divine intervention?”

  When his hand came up to cup my cheek I couldn’t help but to lean into his touch. “Call it whatever you want. All I know is there’s no one else who’s ever made me feel like you do. I couldn’t breathe until I met you. Don’t you get it? I could never get tired of you. You’re like air to me. You’re necessary.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes at the same time my heart swelled in my chest. As I studied his earnest expression, I had to question how I’d ever been able to maintain my walls around Parker.

  “You really like me, don’t you?” I asked in an awed whisper.

  I watched in delight as his head fell back in laughter. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard him make. “Yeah, gorgeous. I really, really like you.”

  I had to ask a question that had been weighing heavily on my mind. “You don’t think this is moving too fast? It’s not too…intense? Doesn’t this seem kind of crazy? It’s hardly been over a month! It’s not supposed to feel like this.”

  “I’ll be damned if I question why it feels so good to be around you, Freya. And I won’t let you talk yourself out of this, either. Tell me you don’t feel better when I’m holding you,” he demanded. “Tell me you don’t feel lighter when we’re together.”

  I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him I didn’t feel that, because I did. I felt everything so strongly when he was with me.

  “We’re good for each other.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled my forehead to his, squeezing his eyes closed as he spoke. “I’m not going to question that because other people might think it’s too fast.”

  He was right. I had no reason to argue with him when everything he said made perfect sense to me. Other people might not understand our connection, but that was okay. They hadn’t suffered the same way we had. They hadn’t found a kindred spirit in another person who made each day more bearable. That was what Parker and I were for each other. Maybe it would be for the long haul, or maybe one day we’d fizzle out. While that thought left an ache deep inside me, I wasn’t so far-gone for him that I couldn’t be realistic. The odds of high school sweethearts making it were slim, but as long as we were providing each other with what we needed in that moment, I wouldn’t question it. I was actually happy…in Sommerspoint, for crying out loud. And it was all because of Parker. Maybe what he said was true. Maybe what my mom taught me was real. Maybe everything did happen for a reason, and that was what led us to each other.

  I was quickly learning that Parker was a major fan of PDA. As soon as we climbed from his truck, he had his arm wrapped around my shoulder, holding me firmly against his side as we entered the school and navigated the hallway toward our lockers. I worked hard to ignore the stares and whispers of shock from the kids around us, but the moment Stella laid eyes on us wrapped around each other, she squealed so loud that poor Michael, who’d been standing right next to her, had to cover his ears.

  My eyes darted around nervously as everyone in the vicinity turned to see what all the fuss was abou
t. Anxiety clawed its way up my chest as more and more students turned to gawk at Parker and me. I was just about to pull away and put some distance between us when I felt his warm breath kiss the skin of my neck. “I love it when you wear your hair down, gorgeous,” he mumbled for only me to hear. “I didn’t tell you when I picked you up, but you look so damn pretty. I’m one lucky bastard.”

  And just like that, the anxiety released its grip on me and blew away like a puff of smoke. Parker had given me just what I needed to keep me from losing it. I melted further into his side as we closed the last remaining feet between Stella and us.

  “I knew it!” she shrieked. “I knew you two would end up together!” She hopped up and down on her tiny feet and I turned just in time to see Michael staring down at my friend with adoration in his blue eyes. “You two are so cute together! Aren’t they cute, Michael? They’re just the cutest things ever!”

  “How can you have so much energy in the mornings?” Parker asked in bewilderment. “It’s unnatural, Stel. Seriously, I think you should get that checked out or something.”

  Stella and I laughed as Michael’s arm laid across her shoulders. “I don’t know, I think it’s kinda cute. She’s like our own personal pick-me-up. Who needs coffee when she’s around?”

  Stella flushed as red as her hair as a shy giggle passed her lips.

  “Soooo,” Parker whispered in my ear as Stella and Michael spoke in hushed tones. “Pavlock’s got the hots for the woodland fairy?”

  “Yep.” I grinned widely. “Now do you think you can back off him? He’s actually a pretty nice guy.”

  Parker’s arm on my shoulder squeezed. “Hey, as long as he’s not trying to steal my girl, we’re cool.”

  “No stealing, I promise. He was just trying to butter me up so I’d talk to Stella for him.”

  His gaze returned to the couple in front of us. “Is it just me or are those two sickeningly sweet together?”

  I laughed loudly as I gave him a full body hug. “Not just you. I thought the same thing.”

  “I think he’s kind of crazy for you,” I told Stella as we made our way to English once Michael took off for his first class.

  Stella’s face lit up as she turned to look over her shoulder in the direction Michael had left in.

  “He’s so sweet!” she all but yelled as we headed into the classroom. The moment we crossed the threshold, Brynn’s eyes nearly tripled in size at the sight of Parker’s arm around me before dropping into vicious slits. If looks could kill, Brynn would have been positively lethal. Before I had the chance to tense under her scrutiny, Parker’s voice was in my ear. “Ignore her, baby. She doesn’t matter.”

  “I hate this,” I groaned as I dropped into my seat and turned to look at him, whispering, “I wish I could just blend in with the wallpaper.”

  Parker leaned in to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and I had to work hard to keep myself from closing the rest of the distance and kissing the beautiful smile on his lips. “Well, seeing as the wallpaper is a nasty shade of baby-puke brown, I’m kind of glad you don’t blend in.” I glared at him playfully as he continued. “All we have to do is get through the days and then we’ll have the beach and the sunset all to ourselves. Just keep reminding yourself of that.”

  “You know, you don’t seem too bad at this whole boyfriend thing. I might just keep you around after all.”

  The grin he threw me was positively sinful. “Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, gorgeous.”

  For the first several weeks of our relationship, everything was about us. The outside world faded into the background as we allowed ourselves to get lost in each other. Word of mouth proved to work faster than I ever could have imagined, but I refused to let it dampen the happiness I’d finally found. I let Parker’s soothing presence drown out the evil glares and whispered rumors from Cassidy and her friends. My life was good. The pain of my loss was still there, but it had dulled as time passed. Because of him, the colors of my world were growing more and more vibrant every day.

  I had to make an effort to disengage myself from my new boyfriend long enough to spend time with my father and Stella. It was hard when all I wanted was to fill every waking moment with Parker. No matter how unreasonable it was, I wanted to push the rest of the world away so it could just be me and him. I would have been lying if I said it didn’t concern me just how wrapped up in each other we were from the start. I knew the risks involved in tying oneself to another so completely. But my head was constantly losing the battle with my heart, and rationality quickly fell to the wayside to make room for as much of Parker as I could have. Our month-long relationship was moving at warp-speed, but instead of worrying about slowing it down, I savored the thrill of every moment we had together.

  While things were moving faster than we could control, Parker never once pressured me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. However, it was quickly reaching the point where I hated it every time he pulled away from me. My body was in control of my brain. It was like an internal switch had been flipped inside of me, setting my blood to a rolling boil every time he touched me. I knew the frenzied feeling well. I was currently experiencing it as Parker’s weight rested on top of me in my bed. We’d gotten home from our sunset an hour before and as was prone to happen with us, what had started as a gentle kiss had morphed into a passionate make-out session in the blink of an eye.

  “Parker,” I moaned softly as his lips trailed a heated path down my neck.

  He let out an almost-animalistic groan. “Baby, we have to stop.” His breath rustled my hair as he rested his forehead in my shoulder, his chest rising and falling like he’d just run a marathon.

  “I don’t want to stop,” I whined as he slowly lifted himself off me. The instant the cool air hit my skin, I missed his warmth wrapped around me.

  “Not yet, gorgeous. You have to trust me. You aren’t ready yet.” I could hear the determination in his words, but the near-black color of his eyes belied his conviction. He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

  “I’m ready,” I panted, trailing kisses along his neck until I reached his kiss-swollen lips. That warm metal ring pressing against my mouth sent a thrill through me.

  Parker released a sound of pain as he pushed up to sitting. “You’re killing me, Freya. You know that?”

  “I’m killing you?” I squeaked indignantly. “You’re the one who’s been driving me crazy for a month! You’re a tease! That’s what you are!”

  Parker’s deep, rumbling laughter echoed through my bedroom as he pulled me into his lap and buried his face in my hair. “Ah, gorgeous, you’re so cute when you get all pissy like this.”

  “Glad I could amuse you,” I grumbled, still feeling an overwhelming need in my body for…something I didn’t quite understand. It was an unfamiliar ache I’d never experienced before Parker.

  “I’m not trying to upset you, Freya. You have to know that. But I don’t want your first time to be a quickie we have to squeeze out before your dad gets home. I don’t want you to feel like I pushed you before you were absolutely certain.” When I moved to argue, his hand came up and covered my mouth. “What you’re feeling right now is just the heat of the moment, sweetheart. When you’re ready…really and truly ready, you’ll feel like this when I’m not even touching you. There won’t be a single doubt in your mind. Can you honestly tell me you have no doubts whatsoever right now?”

  My head dropped on a frown as I gave his words serious thought. Could I really look him in the eyes and tell him I didn’t have a single doubt? That after only a month—albeit a blissful month—I felt absolutely secure in our relationship? The answer was no. It still felt too soon to give those kinds of reassurances. Even though it was a mature decision, the realization that we weren’t quite there yet made me a little sad.

  “Ah, sweetheart, don’t look so upset.”

  “But I want to be ready,” I pouted, feeling like there was something wrong with me in that moment.

  “You
will,” he replied softly. “You just have to give it time. We’re still new. There isn’t any reason to rush it.”

  “It doesn’t feel like we’re new, though.” That was the God’s honest truth. “It’s crazy, but I feel like you know me better than anyone.”

  Parker leaned in and placed a slow, gentle kiss on my lips. “I know what you mean. I feel the exact same way.” The kiss was seconds away from reaching the point of retreat when the sound of the front door opening cut us short like a bucket of ice water being dumped over the top of our heads.

  “Crap! My dad’s home!” Quick as lightning, I jumped from my spot on Parker’s lap and began running around my room, frantically snatching up all of his stuff. He looked at me like I’d lost my mind as I shoved his jacket and backpack at him before grabbing his arm and jerking him up, pushing him toward my bedroom window.

  “Whoa, whoa, what the hell? I’m not going out the window, Freya. I’m gonna break my neck one day!”

  “It’s better than getting busted in your girlfriend’s bedroom! Move your ass.” I gave him another shove but it was like trying to move a brick wall.

  “Why can’t I just meet your dad, Freya? We’ve been together for a month now. Don’t you think it’s time?”

  I hopped nervously from foot to foot, the thought of introducing my boyfriend to my father twisting my stomach into knots. “I need to prepare him before you two meet. I don’t want to just spring it on him, you know? Things aren’t as rocky as they were, but I don’t want to risk anything setting him back to how he was when we first got here.” I pleaded with my eyes, praying he’d understand as he analyzed.”

  Finally, with a put-out sigh, he relented. “Fine, but you need to talk to him soon. I’m kind of tired of having to sneak in and out of my girlfriend’s window all the time.”

  “I promise I’ll talk to him soon. But you have to go!” I rushed.