Scattered Colors

by Jessica Prince

  With one final shove, he moved to the window and began to climb out, pausing halfway in to lean over and give me one last, quick kiss. “I’m crazy about you, Freya Linden.”

  The smile that spread across my cheeks was positively glowing. “I’m pretty crazy about you, too, Parker Owens.”

  That night as my father and I sat at the table having dinner, there was an underlying tension in the air. Our conversation had consisted of menial topics like the weather or how our day had been. Dad looked up from his plate and smiled every so often, but I could tell there was something bothering him.

  “Is everything okay, Dad?”

  “Of course, honey. Why do you ask?”

  I sat my fork down and folded my hands in my lap as I spoke. “You seem preoccupied, I guess. Is it something at work?”

  He rested his own fork on his plate, the fake smile he’d been wearing all evening finally melting into something more genuine. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I? You’re so intuitive. Just like your mother.” In the past, that comparison would have caused a pain to radiate through my chest. By that point, though, it just felt right. I smiled in return and reached out to squeeze his hand. Before I could pull back, Dad flipped his hand palm-side up and wrapped his big, strong fingers around my own.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about how you have less than a year left before you go off to college, and I guess I was just wondering where you were thinking of attending.”

  It was funny that he’d bring it up. I’d been giving a lot of thought to where I wanted to go. When we first moved to Sommerspoint I was so certain I’d rush back to Chicago at the first chance, but things had changed. My outlook on life was different.

  “I applied at a few schools at the beginning of the year, but nothing’s set in stone yet.”

  “Out of state?”

  “Well…yeah.” Dad pulled in a deep breath and nodded in understanding, even though the expression on his face wilted before my very eyes. He pulled his hand back and reached for his fork once again before I continued. “But I’ve been thinking…things are going pretty well here. I thought maybe I’d try and stay local.”

  His bite was halfway to his mouth when he paused. “Because of your boyfriend?”

  A blush spread across my cheeks at the mention of Parker. “How did you know?” I’d intentionally avoided having that conversation with my dad. We were still on somewhat shaky ground, and I didn’t know how well he would have handled finding out his daughter was in a serious relationship.

  The corner of Dad’s mouth tipped up just slightly. “A father knows these things, honey.”

  My cheeks grew redder as the tips of my ears started to burn I twisted my fingers together in my lap, unable to meet his gaze. “I was going to tell you, I just didn’t know if it would have been too much.”

  “Is he good to you?”

  “Very,” I replied whole-heartedly.

  “Then I’d like to meet this boy, see what’s so special about him. I mean, he must be something if you’re thinking of giving up an out-of-state school for him.”

  My gaze flashed to his as my brows tipped down. “Daddy, I’m not staying because of Parker. I mean, yeah, I’d love it if we went to school close to each other, but we haven’t even talked about that.”

  “Then what changed your mind?”

  “Well…you. Things are getting better between us, and I just thought that…maybe leaving...” I trailed off as my voice grew hoarse and my eyes clouded over at the thought of leaving my dad. While Parker had been fantastic in helping me through some of the darkest times in my life, I still very much needed my dad. “Maybe leaving isn’t the right choice. I want to stay because of you.”

  He was on his feet in a heartbeat, pulling me from my chair and wrapping me in a tight hug. “I love you, baby girl. So damn much. Never, ever doubt that.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy,” I responded as I snuggled further into his chest.

  After several long beats, we finally pulled away. “Now, I think it’s about time I meet this young man, don’t you think?”

  I grinned up at my father warmly. “Yeah, I do. But only if you promise to be nice.”

  “I promise.” He chuckled light-heartedly. “But you better warn him. If he messed up my arbor, I expect him to be the one to fix it.”

  Well, now. I hadn’t seen that coming.

  “You know, I can’t remember ever seeing Parker like this,” Stella commented out of the blue as we navigated our way to our lockers. The hallways were flooded with students eager to get home after a long week of school.

  I turned to her after banging on my locker door and pulling it open, my curiosity piqued. “What do you mean?”

  She glanced around the hall before stepping in close, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “Did he ever tell you about Toby?”

  My stomach flipped at the heartbreaking reminder of what Parker had suffered through. “He did,” I admitted before asking, “You know about that?”

  “One of the curses of living in a small town. Nothing is ever really a secret. Especially something as awful as that.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  Stella’s green eyes washed over with sympathy as she leaned her shoulder against her locker. “It wasn’t really my place to tell you. The only reason I brought it up now was because I figured you’d know the truth, seeing as you guys are practically attached at the hip. I just felt like you should know…he’s been different since Toby died. Even when he was with Cassidy, he never looked as happy as he does with you.”

  My chest flooded with warmth at the realization that I’d given Parker something so important. Yes, he always made a point to tell me how he felt when we were together, but something about having a third party speak to the changes they witnessed in his demeanor made it seem all the more special.

  “You’ve changed, too,” she continued. “When you first got here, you always looked so unhappy, but now your eyes glow. You two are so good for each other, Freya.”

  I flash of guilt ran through my system. Even though things in my life were improving every day, I still hadn’t confided in Stella about my mother’s death. The hallways were growing quieter as more and more of our classmates barreled through the doors and out of the school. As I watched the hallway empty around us, I decided it was as good a time as any to finally tell my best friend the whole story.

  As I spoke about my mother’s passing and how my dad had pulled away from me, how bleak things had been for me once I arrived in Sommerspoint, her emerald eyes grew glassy with tears. I opened up about how Parker and I had leaned on each other, how the commonality of our losses formed a bond I’d never experienced before. I told her how it felt like we’d somehow helped each other to heal and how each day was happier than the one before. As I kept talking my heart ached for my mother, but I didn’t suffer with the same gut-wrenching pain I had months before. It was manageable, no longer ruling every aspect of my life.

  “I’m so sorry I never told you about any of this, Stella. I just didn’t know how to find the words. It was easy with Parker. I felt something different about him from the very beginning.”

  “Oh, God,” she cried as her tiny body barreled into me. Her arms wrapped me in a hug so tight, the breath was forced from my lungs. “I’m so sorry you went through all of that.” She sniffled.

  “It’s okay now,” I wheezed, trying to disengage from her vise grip. Once I was able to breathe again, I pushed on. “It doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as it used to. Parker was a big part in helping me with that.”

  With one last sniffle, Stella wiped a few tears from her cheeks and looked at me with a ridiculously huge grin. “You’re in love with him!”

  “What? No! I don’t…I mean, I-I… No, it’s too soon! I can’t…” As I stumbled my way through the denial, it began to feel like I was trying harder to convince myself than her. I couldn’t possibly be in love with Parker already…could I? We’d only been together a little ove
r a month. It was too soon…right?

  “Whatever. Tell yourself that all you want, sweetie, but you totally love that guy. It’s okay, really. He’s in love with you, too.”

  My heart skipped a beat before picking up a frenetic pace. “You think so?”

  “Oh, absolutely! Have you seen the way he looks at you? It’s written all over his face. It’s so obvious, Freya. I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out yet.”

  As I walked down the hallway a few minutes later, I played mine and Stella’s conversation over again, the truth hitting me like a sledgehammer. I was in love with Parker Owens. I was so dazed by the realization that I didn’t hear Cassidy coming up behind me until she was close enough to bump her shoulder into mine, sending me stumbling to the side. “Watch it, loser,” she sneered as she pushed out the doors. Part of me wanted to respond, to throw some hateful words in her face, but something dawned on me right then. She didn’t matter. None of them did. I had Parker and that made her crazy, but I wouldn’t let her affect me. I’d already won.

  Staring at her back as she shoved through the doors into the parking lot, I watched as she walked past Parker, where he stood waiting for me, and climbed into her car. I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her.

  Parker’s voice pulled my mind back to the present. “Hey, baby. I was starting to think you got lost.”

  “Oh, no, I was just talking to Stella. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  He opened the passenger door for me and helped me up, an inquisitive expression on his face. “You okay? You look a little distracted.”

  I buckled my seatbelt before turning to look into his gorgeous brown eyes, noticing the flecks of gold in them appeared just a bit shinier. “I’m great,” I smiled sincerely.

  I was more than great. I was in love with Parker Owens…the boy who made the colors in my world come back.

  And it felt fantastic.

  Winter had arrived in Sommerspoint, bringing with it a frigid chill in the air. Despite our best efforts, some days the cold was just too much to deal with and Parker and I would have to retreat to the warmth of my house to watch the rest of the sunset from the window. My father had taken to Parker right off the bat, having already seen the changes he helped make in me. From the first dinner where I introduced them, it was clear Parker was accepted in our home…and more than welcome to use the front door.

  I shivered against the biting wind whipping against my face, huddling down further into the blanket Parker had wrapped around us. “Can we please go back inside? I’m freezing. We can watch the sunset from the kitchen.”

  He pulled my back tighter against his chest and rubbed his hands up and down my arms, trying to generate as much heat as possible. “Just a few more minutes, gorgeous. There’s something I have to do.”

  He slipped the blanket off his shoulders and wrapped it tightly around me as he hunched over in front of the log we always sat on. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out one of those little red, Swiss Army knives and popped the blade out.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You’ll see.” He grinned at me before turning back to the wood and focusing on whatever he was carving into the smooth, weathered surface. After a few minutes, he slid the knife closed and tucked it back into his pocket. “Done. Come here, baby.”

  Placing my palm in his outstretched hand, I let him pull me up and into his chest. With his arms wrapped firmly around me from behind, I looked down at the log to see what he’d done. My mouth fell open on a gasp as I took in the carving.

  F.L. + P.O.

  “This is our spot, Freya. This is our beach and those are our sunsets. I wanted to do something so anyone who walked past could see this is ours. Always will be.”

  The words I’d been holding onto for weeks began working their way up my chest. Even after the epiphany I’d had during my conversation with Stella, I kept the words to myself, fearing Parker didn’t feel as strongly as I did. At the sight of those four little letters carved into the log…our log, I knew my feelings weren’t one-sided. I felt it bone-deep that he cared just as strongly for me as I did for him. And I couldn’t hold it back any longer.

  “I love you.” I turned away from our initials to stare up at the boy who had given me back my colors. He gazed at me with wide, astounded eyes. “I love you. You’re so amazing and kind and wonderful, and you helped me more than you could ever imagine,” I rambled. “And I tried not to tell you. I was so scared you’d freak out, but I do. I love you, Parker. I—”

  Before another word could tumble from my mouth, Parker’s lips crashed down on mine in the most emotionally charged kiss we’d ever experienced. As his lips danced across mine, that tantalizing ring of his driving me crazy, I felt every ounce of his love for me. However, it still didn’t come close to comparing to how wonderful it felt to hear the words out loud. “I love you, too, Freya,” he breathed against my mouth, his palms cupping my cheeks as he rested his forehead against mine. “I love you so damn much, baby.”

  My chest swelled with warmth as my heart softened with his words. It was in that moment together, down on our beach with the brilliance of the sun sinking from the sky behind us, that I couldn’t even comprehend the thought of my life without him in it. Without me even realizing it was happening, Parker had become my world. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting someone as much and as deeply as I wanted him.

  “I’m ready,” I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his wrists so I could pull his hands from my face. “I’m ready, Parker.” And I was. I had no doubts, no concerns or fears. I could look at him with one hundred percent certainty and know with every fiber of my being that I would never love another man as fiercely as I loved him.

  “You’re sure?” The uncertainly in his gaze was drowned out by the passion that turned his chocolate orbs to near black.

  “Without a doubt.”

  As Freya calmly led me up the stairs to her bedroom, I tried my best to keep myself from throwing her over my shoulder and running the rest of the way. Every ounce of my blood pumped with my desire for her.

  She loves me.

  It was almost unfathomable that this beautiful, perfect creature could ever find me worthy enough to love, but I must have done something right in another life because she did. For some unknown reason, I was the lucky bastard she fell for and I swore right then I was going to do everything in my power to protect her.

  “Will your dad be home later?” I asked as we crossed the threshold into her room. God, I hoped he wasn’t about to walk through the door soon. After craving the girl in front of me for so long, I was afraid I’d break down in tears if we were interrupted.

  “He’s at a conference,” she panted, trailing kisses up my neck and across the length of my jaw. Thinking was damn near impossible when she touched me like that. “He’ll be gone all weekend.”

  In my mind, my fist pumped the air at the thought of having Freya all to myself. I wanted to take my time, go slow so as not to hurt her. I wanted her first time to be as special as possible, and I basked in the knowledge that I was granted the time to make that happen.

  Oh so slowly, we undressed each other until there was nothing separating us, nothing but her soft, warm skin pressing against mine. As I laid her down on the bed, I couldn’t believe I was laying my eyes on something so beautiful. Every single inch of Freya was flawless.

  “Parker,” she cried as I scattered kisses across her cheeks, her forehead, her eyelids, everything I could reach. I couldn’t get enough of her. God, I loved her.

  “Shh, sweetheart. I know what you need. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Her eyes opened and focused on me. The brilliant cerulean color was shining so brightly, so beautifully that my heart momentarily stopped. I had done that. I brought back the light in her eyes.

  “You could never hurt me.” Her voice held such reverence that I made a silent promise right then to always do my best to keep her faith in me. “I love you so much, Parker.”

  �
�I love you, Freya. No one will ever love you as much as I do.”

  No one will ever love you as much as I do.

  His words resonated deep inside of me, filling my heart so full I was afraid it would burst. My small gasps filled the silence of my bedroom at the feel of Parker’s hard length pressing gently into me. The expression on his face was one of near pain as he moved ever so slowly, taking tremendous care not to hurt me. I knew it was impossible. I’d talked with my friends enough about it over the years to know there was no escaping the pain that came with losing your virginity but seeing Parker biting down on his bottom lip, fighting against every impulse in his body to prevent any discomfort, only made me love him even more.

  “Are you okay?” he panted once he’d managed to push a few inches into me.

  “Baby, just do it.” The stretching of him inside of me was beginning to hurt, causing me to clench my teeth against the burn, but I surmised it was like pulling off a Band-Aid. Once it was done, everything would be fine; a little initial pain and it would be over. “Just do it fast.”

  He pushed up on his forearms to look down at me, his chest rising and falling with exertion. I never would have imagined it would take so much for a guy to stay still when it came to having sex. Parker was breathing like he’d just run a marathon. “Are you sure?”

  I nodded quickly and gripped onto his biceps, my nails digging into his skin so hard I was sure I drew blood. With one hard shove, Parker buried himself inside me completely. The burning discomfort was so much more intense than I had imagined, startling a pained yelp from me as soon as he breached that thin barrier.

  “Jesus, baby, are you okay?”

  I clenched my eyes closed, focusing on breathing in and out deeply. He stayed perfectly still as the seconds dragged by, and finally the sensation gave way to something altogether different. “Move, Parker, please.” My hips lifted from the bed in an attempt to set some friction between us, dragging a guttural moan from deep within his chest. “I need you to move,” I whimpered. As if testing my limits, Parker pulled nearly all the way out before sliding back in on a slow, smooth thrust.