Truth and Solace

by Jana Richards

  He’d hurt her so badly in the past. Maybe that hurt could never be repaired. And she didn’t know the worst of it…

  Luke held her a little closer as despair washed over him.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Maggie’s senses went on full alert as Harper stepped into the kitchen and asked, “Hey, need help with anything?”

  Harper knew full well she didn’t need help with a simple family dinner. “No thanks. I’ve got it under control.”

  “Good, good.”

  She prowled around the kitchen, examining jars of dried pasta, lentils and beans. Moving to the range, she opened the lid of one of the pots and peeked inside. “Something smells good. What are we having for dinner?”

  “Exactly what I told you yesterday. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans and a tossed salad.”

  “Oh. Okay, right. I forgot.”

  She wasn’t fooling her for a minute. “Spit it out, Harper. What’s on your mind?”

  Harper turned to her with troubled eyes. “I’m worried about you. I’ve seen Luke’s truck parked in front of your cottage the last several mornings. Has he changed his mind? Has he told you he plans to stay?”

  Maggie moved to the sink, busying herself by washing lettuce for the salad. She couldn’t look her sister in the eye. “His plans haven’t changed. He’s going back to his job in California.”

  “Honey, you know I love Luke like a brother, but it’s not wise to get so involved with him. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Scarlet entered the kitchen. “What’s going on? Who’s going to hurt Maggie?”

  “She’s sleeping with Luke.”

  “Harper!” Maggie spun around to face her sisters.

  “Are you being careful? Using birth control?” Scarlet rubbed a hand over her small but growing baby bump. “If not, you too could develop an unsightly bulge like this.”

  “It’s not funny, Scarlet. Luke isn’t planning to stay.” Harper turned to Maggie in alarm. “You are using birth control, aren’t you?”

  Maggie rolled her eyes. “Of course, we are. You gave me the birds and bees lecture when I was twelve. It stuck.”

  “I’m all for sex, Maggie, but I don’t want to see you get hurt either.” Scarlet laid her hand on her arm. “You’re my favorite little sister.”

  “I’m your only little sister, you dork.” Maggie put her hand over Scarlet’s. “I’m perfectly fine. We’re two consenting adults having an adult relationship. I went into it with my eyes wide open knowing that Luke’s stay comes with an expiration date. Why shouldn’t we enjoy each other while he’s here?”

  Harper folded her arms across her chest. “Because, I think there’s more to your relationship than you’ve ever told us. Because, I think you’re in love with him.”

  Maggie blinked and looked away. “I’m a big girl now, Harper. You don’t have to protect me anymore.”

  Harper sighed, and when Maggie looked at her again, she gave her the same anxious expression she had when Maggie was sixteen and had done something stupid. “You know I love you, and what I want most in the world is for the three of us to work together, but if you want to go to California with Luke, you should go. I don’t want you to feel obligated. You have to do what’s right for you.”

  Maggie swallowed, her bravado slipping. She couldn’t go to California because Luke hadn’t asked her to. “This is where I want to be. I want to see the kitchen and the lodge succeed, and I want to be part of that success. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Harper nodded, not looking convinced. “That’s what I want for you, too. But if you ever change your mind—”

  “I won’t.”

  Even if she wanted to change her mind, that option hadn’t been presented to her.

  Jerry Fields hit a few keys on his keyboard, then gave Luke a satisfied nod. “That should do it. Your internal computer network and guest Wi-Fi are set to go. I’ve also added more security levels to keep anyone from hacking into your network.”

  “Thanks for your help, Jerry. I really appreciate it.” He cleared his throat. “Will you be able to keep an eye on things here, help out with computer problems after I leave? I want to make sure things go smoothly in the future.”

  Jerry’s smile slipped. “I was hoping you’d changed your mind about leaving.”

  “No. That’s still my plan. I’ll stay until…”

  He couldn’t make himself say “until my mother dies”. The inevitability of that event stared him in the face every day.

  “I know.” Jerry nodded, understanding what he meant. “Please tell Abby she’s in my thoughts and prayers.”

  “She’d appreciate that.”

  “The way I treated her is one of the regrets of my life. I should have been there for her, done more than give her money.”

  I should have been there for her. His father’s words echoed his own feelings. For the last ten years, he hadn’t been around for his mother or his grandmother.

  Or Maggie.

  “She doesn’t hold you responsible. In fact, she accepts some of the blame for keeping us apart. She says she discouraged you from seeing me.”

  Jerry shrugged and shook his head. “She did, but I didn’t protest too hard. If I’d pushed, she might have come around. It’s on me.”

  Looking into his father’s eyes, it suddenly occurred to Luke that Jerry wasn’t the villain he’d made him out to be most of his life. He was simply an ordinary guy. An ordinary guy who’d made mistakes he regretted.

  Lord knew, he’d made his share of mistakes.

  “Jerry, is that offer to have dinner with you and Denise still open?”

  His father sat up straighter. “Of course. How about tomorrow night?”

  He had to put old hurts aside. He and Jerry were probably never going to be close like some fathers and sons, but, with some work, they could forge a new relationship.

  “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”

  “I’ve been thinking,” Harper said, lifting her teacup. “You were right, Maggie. We can’t ignore what Willy told us. He caused our parents’ deaths. It might have been an accident, but he lied about it.”

  “I’ve been thinking the same thing.” Scarlet sipped her camomile tea. She’d sworn off caffeine for the duration of her pregnancy, so Maggie made sure to keep a selection of herbal teas on hand for her. “We have to defend our father’s name. The media coverage might affect the business, but if we’re forthright and come out with all the facts before the media jumps all over it, we’ll be fine. Eventually, they’ll move on to something else.”

  “You’re sure?” Maggie asked.

  Harper nodded.

  Scarlet set down her teacup. “Yes, I’m sure, too. We have to do this.”

  “So, what happens now?”

  “I asked Ethan to find a lawyer who can guide us. They’ll know what we should do next.”

  Maggie nodded, relieved they were no longer on opposing sides. As long as they stuck together they’d be okay, no matter how tough things got. She’d let herself forget that truth but never would again.

  Later that day, Luke quietly entered his mother’s room and closed the door behind him. The sight of the hospital bed jarred him, even though Reese had told him he’d rented one. The bed was more comfortable for his mother because it could be raised or lowered, and the nurses found it easier to care for her in it. But it served as a reminder she was losing her battle with cancer.

  Abby’s eyes were closed and, at first, he thought she was asleep, but then she opened her eyes and gave him a tired smile.

  “Hello, sweetheart.”

  “Hi, Mom.” He kissed her forehead, inhaling her perfume. Even in her sick bed she insisted on wearing her favorite scent. He sat on the edge of her bed. “How are you feeling today?”

  She waved her hand. “Oh, fine.”

  She never complained, not once. “I saw Jerry earlier today. He asked me to tell you he’s thinking about you.”

  “That’s kind of him.
”

  “He says the biggest regret of his life is not doing right by you.”

  “Tell him he has nothing to regret. He gave me you and I’m very grateful.”

  “I’m going to dinner at his house tomorrow.”

  Abby grasped his hand. “Luke, that’s wonderful! I’d so hoped you’d give him a chance to be your dad.”

  “Don’t get too excited. It’s only dinner.” He set some magazines on the bed. “I thought I could read some magazine articles to you.”

  She grinned knowingly. He was changing the subject and she knew it. “That sounds nice.”

  Luke read some short articles, mostly about Hollywood stars. They laughed over some of the pictures and his mother shook her head over others.

  “I hope they learn that family and friends are much more important than money or fame. You figure out what’s really important in life you’re dying.”

  Her words made his heart lurch in pain. His head knew she didn’t have long to live, but his heart was having difficulty accepting it. He set down the gossip magazine. “I brought a National Geographic. I know how much you love the pictures. There’s an article here about the Arctic I could read to you.”

  “Perhaps later. Can we talk for a minute?”

  “Sure, as long as it’s not about Jerry.”

  “No, not Jerry. I want to talk about you and Maggie. Now that the two of you are together, are you going to stay in Minnewasta?”

  He was taken aback by her direct question. “What makes you think we’re together?”

  “Please. Have you ever known my mother to keep a secret? She says you haven’t spent a night in her house in more than two weeks.”

  It wasn’t exactly a secret they’d been sleeping together, but some privacy would have been nice. “We’re not really together, Mom.” He hopped off the edge of her bed and began to pace the small bedroom. “We haven’t talked about the future past the grand opening of the lodge. Honestly, I don’t know if we have a future beyond that.”

  “Do you want a future with her?”

  He looked into his mother’s red-rimmed eyes. Though now sunken from illness, they were the same vivid blue, still full of life. They compelled him to tell the truth. “I want that more than anything.”

  “Have you told her that?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  She waited silently for him to explain. He’d never told her the complete story of his move to California so long ago, and he was ashamed to tell her now. “I did some things I’m not proud of, Mom. I don’t know if Maggie will understand.”

  “Did you rob a bank or something?”

  He laughed in spite of the ache in his chest. “You don’t have to worry. I didn’t do anything illegal.”

  “But you did something you consider immoral, like lying to her.”

  Luke looked away. “Yes.” There was no point hiding anything from her any longer.

  He sat on the edge of her bed once and made his confession, pouring out every detail and regret. Unburdening himself should have made him feel lighter, but instead he only felt empty.

  “She loves you. If you tell her the truth, she’ll understand. It might not happen right away, but eventually.”

  Luke wasn’t so sure. And he wasn’t sure Maggie loved him. But he wouldn’t upset his mother with his worries. He reached for her hand. “You’re right.”

  She grinned and for a moment she was her old self. “I know when I’m being patronized.” She gripped his hand, her grin disappearing. “Don’t lose her, Luke. I know she loves you. She has since you were kids. Trust me, first love is a powerful thing. It never leaves you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Reese was my first love. I fell for him when I was a fourteen-year-old with braces. But he was nearly nineteen and crazy in love with someone else. It took him years to realize I was the one for him. But no matter what was happening in our lives, or who we were with, he was always in my heart.”

  He’d never heard this story before. “You fell in love with Reese at fourteen?”

  “Yeah, like Maggie fell in love with you. But unlike you and Maggie, Reese barely knew I existed back then.”

  She closed her eyes, her head sinking into her pillow. His visit had depleted her energy. Luke kissed her forehead once more. “I’ll let you sleep for awhile. I’ll be back tonight for a few minutes.”

  She opened her eyes once more and clutched his hand, her strength surprising him. “Don’t be afraid to tell her you love her. Love is worth the risk.”

  He nodded, mostly for her benefit. He didn’t know if he had the courage to take such a monumental risk.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Luke entered the lodge’s kitchen and as his gaze connected with hers, Maggie couldn’t help the warm glow of happiness that started in her heart and radiated throughout her body. Seeing him made her feel alive, and somehow better. She was a better person for loving him, as crazy as that sounded.

  “It’s official, ladies. Ten days to the open house and we’re completely booked, including all the completed cottages and the hotel room where you’re currently staying, Celeste.”

  Celeste grinned. “So you’re throwing us out, is that what you’re saying?”

  Luke grinned back. “I’m afraid so. But don’t worry. The suite in the event center is ready for you and Hope to move into. We’ve brought in the beds and other furniture.”

  Last week, Maggie helped Harper and Ethan move out of their cottage and into a three-bedroom bungalow in Baxter that they’d rented. She was excited that they’d also bought a piece of land near the lodge where they planned to build their forever home. As soon as Cam completed the rest of the cottages, he was going to design and build their house.

  “We’d like to paint Hope’s room before they move in,” Maggie said. “We picked up paint in her favorite shade of pink the other day but haven’t had a chance to do the job yet.”

  “Why don’t you leave the paint with me? I’ll get one of Reese’s guys to paint the room. If we get the painting done today, you and Hope and can move in tomorrow, Celeste.”

  “It won’t take us long. All we have to do is pack a couple of suitcases.”

  Luke nodded, then turned his attention to Maggie. “What about you? Can you be packed up by the end of the day? Grandma can’t wait for you to move in.”

  “I think so. I’ll start packing after lunch. Do you mind taking over in the kitchen for the afternoon, Celeste?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Thanks.” She shook her head. “I’m going to miss that little cottage.”

  The soft smile in Luke’s eyes told her he’d miss it to. They’d spent every night together there since Christmas, often making love, but sometimes simply talking and holding each other. The cottage was their little haven, a cocoon of warmth and privacy. They’d be together at Phyllis’s house, but it wouldn’t be the same.

  Phyllis didn’t strike her as the prudish type, but she hoped she wouldn’t be offended by her and Luke sleeping together. Maggie’s face burned with embarrassment at the thought. She told herself the same thing Luke had told her. They weren’t kids anymore, and they weren’t doing anything to be ashamed of.

  Even so, Phyllis was Luke’s grandmother and her opinion very much mattered to Maggie.

  Luke checked his watch. “I’d better get going. I’ll let you know as soon as that room is painted, Celeste.”

  “Sounds good.”

  He gave Maggie a kiss on the cheek, then smiled and kissed her on the lips. His kiss was warm and chaste, but held an edge of desire that made all her nerve endings sing. She wanted to lean into him, wrap herself around him. But it was the middle of the morning and they had work to do. She contented herself with brushing another kiss along his lips before letting him go.

  After he left, Celeste quietly asked, “Has he changed his mind about staying?”

  Maggie crashed back to Earth with a jarring thump. “No. Nothing’s changed.�
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  “Have you asked him to? Have you told him how you feel about him?”

  She shook her head, unable to speak. She had tried, but she couldn’t say the words. The idea of telling him she loved him filled her with fear, dread. Even in the solitude of her own mind, she couldn’t explain why.

  Maggie prayed he could feel her love.

  The next morning Maggie sipped coffee at Phyllis’s kitchen table. She stared out the window as fat flakes of snow drifted to the ground. Luke sat across from her reading the newspaper while Phyllis bustled around the kitchen, washing dishes, wiping counters, and sweeping the floor, somehow all at once. The little domestic scene made her smile. She was home.

  Yesterday, Maggie had moved into the bedroom on the second floor next door to Luke’s room. He’d come to her during the night, and they’d made love. They’d tried to be quiet, but after the solitude they’d enjoyed in the cottage, quiet wasn’t in their repertoire. Fortunately, Phyllis’s bedroom was on the main floor, which afforded them some privacy. Maggie had been relieved he’d stayed with her the rest of the night. She’d been afraid he’d find sleeping with her too awkward in his grandmother’s house.

  Neither of them spoke of a future beyond the grand opening on Valentine’s Day. Maggie poured her emotions into their lovemaking each night, trying to tell him with her body the things she couldn’t bring herself to say.

  Last night, she’d bordered on desperate. She’d been wild in his arms, giving herself over completely. He’d been equally as wild, his hands and mouth and tongue bringing her to climax over and over. He’d turned her so she was on her hands and knees and entered her from behind, his fingers strumming the delicate folds of her sex till she exploded in orgasm. She’d had to cover her face with a pillow to keep from screaming down the house. The thought of Luke touching her so intimately made her tremble and burn.

  “Would you like more coffee, Maggie?”