Truth and Solace

by Jana Richards

  Maggie shook her head. “The lodge has a fridge full of leftovers, Phyllis. There’s no need.”

  His grandmother added dressing to the package. “You have plenty of people to feed over there.” She turned to Reese. “I’ll take home some leftovers and make turkey soup tomorrow. Abby might enjoy that. It used to be her favorite.”

  Reese gave her a tired smile. “I’m sure she will.”

  His grandmother and Maggie dressed in their parkas and winter hats for the drive home. Reese hugged Phyllis. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “You will. Make sure you get some rest.”

  “You, too.” He turned to Maggie. “Thank you for all your work today. We had a lovely dinner and a beautiful Christmas day. I’m so happy you were here.”

  She hugged him, and Reese wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes as if he never wanted to let her go.

  Luke knew the feeling well. He cleared his throat. “I’ll see you tomorrow, too.”

  Reese let go of Maggie and nodded his head. “Your mother will be pleased.”

  They left the house and drove the short distance to his grandmother’s house in silence. Maggie reached into the back seat to grasp Phyllis’ hand as they arrived. “I had a wonderful day. Thank you for everything.”

  “It was fun working in the kitchen with you, dear,” she said. “Let me know when you’re ready to move in.”

  “I will. Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Luke carried the turkey leftovers to the front door for his grandmother and made sure she got in safely. “Make sure you lock the door. I’ll be home after I drop Maggie off.”

  She waved her gloved hand. “There’s no hurry. Take all the time you need. In fact, stay the night if you want to.”

  Before closing the door in his face, she gave him an impish grin. Luke shook his head in amusement. His grandmother was definitely one of a kind.

  Maggie said little on the drive back to the lodge, but her tension communicated itself to him. He glanced at her profile as she stared out the windshield. She’d seemed happy today, and she’d comforted him when he needed it. If not for her humor and positive energy, it would have been a very somber Christmas. They’d all been too aware this Christmas would be his mother’s last.

  He drove past the lodge and up the small incline to the cottages, driving by Ethan and Harper’s cottage and coming to a stop in front of Maggie’s place. He left the motor running.

  “Would you like to come in?” she asked.

  He looked away. “Thanks, but I think it’s best if I don’t.”

  “Oh.” Disappointment made her voice flat and colorless. She reached for the door handle, her gaze averted. “Good night.”

  He touched her arm, stopping her. She deserved the truth. “If I go inside with you, if I’m alone with you, I won’t be able to stop myself from touching you. I’m not that strong. That’s why I have to go.”

  She lifted her gaze to his, her eyes bright in the dashboard lights. “What if I want you to touch me? What if I want you to make love to me?”

  His heart pounded. “I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise I’ll stay more than a few weeks.”

  “I know. I want you anyway.”

  Desire exploded inside him. He turned off the ignition. “I want you, too.”

  They rounded the truck and as they reached the front porch steps, he held out his hand to her. She clasped it and, smiling, they ascended the stairs together.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Maggie’s hands shook as she unlocked the front door of her cottage. Luke stood silently behind her, his hand on her shoulder. The simple touch made her blood sing.

  As soon as they were inside, he turned her and pulled her into his arms, his mouth descending on hers. She rejoiced in the way his tongue swept her mouth and tangled with hers, the way his arms pulled her tight against him, his hands kneading, caressing. He wants me. Maggie wound her arms around his neck, her body shaking with need. How she wanted him. She’d waited so long for him to want her again.

  He’ll be leaving again. Don’t forget.

  Maggie pushed the voice of caution from her mind. She didn’t care what happened tomorrow. All she wanted was this moment with Luke.

  Luke stripped off his winter coat and then hers and tossed them to the floor. They kicked off their boots and Luke lifted her into his arms, surprising her and making her laugh. Joy filled her heart.

  “I’m liking the caveman routine.”

  He laughed and the sound warmed her heart. He was once again the boy she’d loved. My Luke.

  He carried her to the bedroom and set her on feet. They undressed each other, their hands fumbling in their haste to touch warm skin. When they were both naked, Luke lifted her once more and set her on the bed. He laid beside her and skimmed his hand over her stomach.

  “You’re beautiful. Even more than I remember.”

  His kiss was full of need and promise. She whimpered as his lips left her mouth, but then he trailed kisses down her neck and chest, making her breathless. When he ran his tongue around her taut nipple, then pulled it into her mouth to suckle, a shaft of desire shot straight to her core. She pressed against him and revelled in the exquisite sensation.

  With one last kiss to the underside of her breast, he moved his exploration lower. Excitement built, making her tremble. Wetness pooled between her legs as he kissed her stomach, then the inside of her thighs. Ten years ago, they’d explored each other with trembling hands. They’d been too innocent, too green, to experiment with oral sex. But now, with Luke, it was exactly what she desired. His tongue delicately licked the sensitive folds at the entrance to her body, and heat raced through her. She wouldn’t be able to hang on long, even though she wanted to prolong the ecstasy.

  He gently sucked, finding the spot she needed him to. Her orgasm was instant and overwhelming. She screamed his name, her body writhing on the knife-edge between pleasure and pain.

  Pleasure won.

  When the spasms slowed, Luke gave her one last lick that made her shiver and then rolled off the bed. Maggie pushed herself onto her elbows to watch him as he rifled through his discarded clothes.

  “Please tell me you’ve got a condom somewhere in there.”

  He flashed her a wolfish smile. “I was a Boy Scout. We’re always prepared.”

  “Yay for the Boy Scouts.”

  He pulled a condom package from inside his wallet. “Yay, indeed.”

  As he ripped open the package, her memory flew back ten years. She and Luke were in their hiding place in the forest, naked and shaking with need. They’d touched each other before, explored each other’s bodies, but they planned to go all the way, the first time either of them had gone that far. Both were nervous, and a little scared. Especially Maggie. But she trusted Luke implicitly. He’d take care of her.

  Luke had gone to Brainerd to purchase a box of condoms; if he’d bought condoms at the drug store in Minnewasta, the news would have spread all over town. He’d struggled with putting on the condom. In his inexperienced, shaking hands, the condom had refused to smoothly roll over his throbbing penis. Maggie had been transfixed at the size of him and when he entered her, there had been pain at first. But Luke had been so gentle, so kind, that the pain had gradually lessened.

  Now, as Luke rolled the condom over his engorged penis with quick efficiency, she wondered how many women he’d slept with in the intervening years.

  Maggie cursed herself for her doubts. Of course he’d been with other women in the last ten years, just as she’d been with another man. But he was here with her now, and the past didn’t matter.

  Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d actually believe it.

  She pushed her doubts away and reached out her hand. He kissed the palm, then in one quick move straddled her. He hovered over her, his cock nudging the entrance to her body. Maggie arched her back, trying to get closer, but Luke remained out of reach, teasing her until she was w
ild with excitement and need. Suddenly, he plunged into her and the pleasure nearly forced her over the edge. For a moment, he held himself immobile, and they stared into each other’s eyes. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long.” He began to move, setting up a rhythm she followed eagerly. “I’ve dreamt of this.”

  “Yes.” She’d dreamt of this, too. The dreams had lessened in frequency over the years, but they continued to have the power to wake her in the middle of the night, still had the ability to make her sweat and writhe and ache.

  Luke’s gaze became unfocused as his pace increased. Her hands roamed restlessly over his back and buttocks. Her climax hovered, teasing her with its closeness. And then, he reached between them and inserted his finger inside her. She came immediately with shattering force. A moment later, Luke shouted his release. His body shook from the spasms, and she held him close, never wanting to let him go.

  But soon, she’d have to. Until then, she wanted him here, in her bed. Until then, she’d pretend they had forever.

  Luke woke with a start, disoriented and unsure of where he was. The only illumination in the pitch darkness came from the glowing red numbers on a clock beside the bed that registered five minutes after two in the morning. Then, the warmth of Maggie’s body tucked up against his side reached him. Memories of the night flooded back. Tenderness filled his heart, his soul. Maggie had responded to him with such passion and total abandon that he was reminded of the way it had been for them the first time they’d made love, when they were kids.

  Except, they weren’t kids anymore. Maggie was an incredibly beautiful, desirable woman, and he wanted her with a passion that frightened him. He’d hurt her then, and he couldn’t bear to do it again. But if he gave in to the desire pulsing through his blood right now and made love to her again the way his body was demanding, how could he not? He was leaving in a few short weeks.

  Unless I stay.

  Guilt and hope battled in his head. The only way he could stay was if he told her the truth about why he’d left ten years ago. Once she knew, he wasn’t sure she could forgive him.

  Luke closed his eyes. He had to leave Maggie’s bed while he still could.

  Carefully, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. He fumbled in the dark, searching for his clothes, remembering how they’d undressed each other in a flurry of excitement. He stifled a curse when he stubbed his toe against the frame of the bed as he pulled on his pants.

  “Luke?” Maggie’s voice was husky with sleep.

  “It’s all right, baby. Go back to sleep.”

  The sheets rustled and the bedside lamp snapped on, creating a small pool of light that illuminated her tense face. “You’re leaving?”

  He heard the disappointment in her voice, saw it in her dark eyes, even in the dim light.

  “If I don’t leave now, my grandmother will know I’ve been with you all night. Harper and Ethan will see my truck here in the morning, and they’ll know we slept together.”

  “Harper and Ethan are staying in Minneapolis tonight, but even if they were home, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks, not even my family. We’re grownups now. We don’t have to sneak around to be together like we did when we were kids.” She lowered her gaze, her hands clutching the sheet to her breasts. “Unless you don’t want anyone to know. Unless you’d rather not be here.”

  “Maggie—”

  “It’s okay, really.” She looked away and shrugged a small shoulder. “It’s no big deal.”

  He couldn’t leave her like this. He sat on the bed beside her and stroked her hair. “It’s a big deal to me. There’s nothing I want more than to stay, but it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  Her eyes flashed in disbelief. “Wouldn’t be fair to me? What are you talking about?”

  “In a few weeks, after my mother is…gone, I’ll go back to my job in California. And you’ll be here.”

  “And never the twain shall meet?”

  “It’s not what I want, but it’s reality.”

  “What about what I want, right here, right now? Maybe we don’t have forever. Nobody does. If I’ve learned anything from your mother’s illness, it’s that we can’t take anything for granted. We can’t let uncertainty and fear stop us. If we only have a short time together, so be it. At least, we’ll have had that time. I won’t regret it.”

  She was amazing. She was still the strong, forthright, vibrant girl he’d fallen in love with that summer.

  And he had loved her. Deeply. They’d been far too young to sustain a lasting relationship. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t loved her.

  I still love her. I never stopped.

  The sudden insight rocked him. When he’d left Minnewasta, he’d not only buried his guilt, he’d tried to bury his feelings for Maggie. But she’d taken up residence in a tiny corner of his heart and refused to leave. She’d been with him every day, even when he’d refused to acknowledge she was there.

  Now he realized that whenever he’d tried to start a new relationship with a woman, he’d look inside that corner of his heart and remember, and he knew he was never going to love any woman the way he’d loved Maggie. No one could compare.

  “Stay with me,” she whispered. “Please.”

  He kissed her softly, a tremor of need racing through him. “I’ll stay. If you want me to.”

  “I do,” she said simply.

  He let his hands glide over her satin-smooth skin. He wanted to explore her, to discover her body once more. He wanted to learn what made the grown-up Maggie sigh with pleasure and writhe in passion.

  But Maggie had her own agenda and was as eager to explore his body as he was to explore hers. She slid down his body, kissing her way down his chest, his stomach, and then the inside of his thighs. When she took his cock into her mouth, his control nearly snapped. The exquisite pleasure of her warm, wet mouth surrounded him. Her tongue swirled and licked and worked his cock until he was on the edge of climax. He needed to be inside her. Now. With a growl, he lifted her head.

  “Baby, stop, or this is going to be over real quick.”

  “We can’t have that.” She gave him a seductive smile as she reached for the condom he’d left on the bedside table, the last one in his wallet. “We can’t have that at all.”

  She kissed her way down his body once more and rolled the condom on him. She then straddled his hips and impaled herself on his cock. Luke nearly exploded inside her. But the look of rapture on her face, the closed eyes, the partly open mouth, made him hang on to make their joining special for her. With a moan, she threw back her head and rode him. He was deep inside her, her inner muscles clenched around him. He reached up to palm her small, perfect breasts, rolling the nipples between his thumb and forefinger. She sucked in a breath.

  “Oh, yes. Luke, it feels so good. It’s been so long…”

  Her body stiffened as her release came. He followed her immediately, his climax more powerful than any he’d ever remembered. When they both stopped shaking, Maggie folded herself over his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, too spent to do much else. He loved this moment of connection with her, the feeling of skin on skin, his body inside hers. He held her a little tighter, not ready to lose this tie. Not yet.

  Their breathing slowed and heartrates returned to normal, but they remained joined together. Luke couldn’t have said how long. At last, Maggie began to stir.

  She lifted her head and smiled down at him. “Wow.”

  Wow indeed. He tenderly brushed the hair from her forehead. “You’re amazing.”

  “You’re not so bad yourself.” Though her voice sounded amused, he read an undercurrent of sadness in her eyes. She dropped a kiss onto the corner of his mouth before sliding off him. A chill immediately followed her departure, and Luke shivered as he covered himself with the sheet.

  A moment later, Maggie returned from the bathroom and Luke pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, prepa
ring to go to the bathroom to dispose the condom. Maggie sat beside him and linked her fingers with his.

  “This was different, wasn’t it?” she said.

  “You mean making love?”

  “Yeah. I thought making love with you was wonderful when we were kids. But this was so much more.”

  Luke brought their joined hands to his mouth and kissed her fingers, his heart so full it threatened to burst from his chest. “Like you said, we’re grown-ups now. We don’t have to hide or feel like we’re doing something wrong. And we have a little more experience.”

  Her mouth curved at that. “A little more. But I wouldn’t trade my first experience with you for anything, no matter how awkward we might have been.” She averted her gaze. “It was honest. At least for me.”

  He grasped her chin and made her look at him. “It was honest for me, too. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  She stared at him, her dark eyes unblinkingly. Finally, she nodded. “Will you be coming back to bed, or are you going home?”

  Luke’s heart gave a painful kick. Even though they’d made love again, she still expected him to leave. But then, he hadn’t given her much reason to expect anything else. “I’ll be right back.”

  When he returned from the bathroom, she was under the covers, her eyes closed. Luke turned off the bedside light and slid into the bed beside her. He pulled her to him, her back to his chest, and she snuggled against him, her bottom pressing against his cock. It flared to life, but he willed it to behave. From the cadence of her breathing, she was nearly asleep. He kissed her hair and rested his chin on her silky head.

  He loved her. That much he knew for sure. What he didn’t know was what he was supposed to do now. Did he give up his life in California and move back here? Did he ask Maggie to move to Napa with him? Or did he stick with his original plan and leave after his mother was gone? His mind whirled in confusion.

  Maggie had spoken of wanting him in the here and now, but gave no indication of what their future held. Or if they had a future. He had no idea what her feelings were for him. She’d always guarded her heart, even as a teenager. She’d never told him she loved him, and he’d hung back as well, afraid to be the first to say the words.