The Catchers

by Stuart J. Kent

  “Of course not, old boy,” replied Lord Teathorpe realising he didn’t really have a choice. “What can I do for you?”

  “Well, my lord, I was wondering…” said Colin before he began to speak quietly in Lord Teathorpe’s ear.

  “Oh stop it, that tickles!” chuckled Lord Teathorpe moving his head slightly away from Colin’s mouth.

  “Sorry, it’s the whiskers,” replied Colin. He then pulled the long white beard off his face and continued talking quietly again.

  As the acoustic group played on to a lot of whooping and cheering from the happy audience, Colin and Lord Teathorpe sat deep in conversation. Then after a few long minutes Colin spotted another magical council member, Elsa Lithagia, a tall, thin, middle-aged witch who was wearing a dark green dress, with long black hair cascading over her shoulders and a pair of black-rimmed spectacles that sat high on her slightly pointed nose, which made her look just like the modern business witch of today that Trixie enjoyed reading about in her “Which Witch” magazine.

  So after finishing his conversation with Lord Teathorpe and reattaching his white face fur, Colin quietly excused himself from the table and quickly moved to Elsa’s table and once again engaged a member of the council in deep conversation for several long minutes.

  By now, the evening was getting on and Jamie having never danced so much before in his life was beginning to get super tired.

  “That’s it, I can’t keep dancing, my legs are hurting, I’ve got to sit down,” he shouted in slight pain.

  “No, don’t be a wimp,” shouted Trixie back at him as she put an arm around him and forced him to continue bouncing along to the music, then there was a loud creaking noise.

  “What was that?” asked Jamie, hearing the low groan and looking down.

  “What was…” but before Trixie could finish her sentence there was a sudden loud crack and in a flash the table collapsed beneath them and the two joyful youths crashed to the floor perfectly in time to the end of the music. The rest of the room cheered, some for the band and others appreciating the comedy slapstick timing of Jamie and Trixie’s fall, and for our two young friends they both sat a little dazed and shocked amongst the broken table parts until they quickly began laughing their heads off and enjoying the silliness of it all.

  Then a large dark shadow quickly hovered over them, and looking up they saw the now extremely angry thunderous face of the large orange-haired waitress standing over them and eyeing them menacingly once again.

  “Here!” she growled holding out a broom, a dustpan and a mop for them. “You clean it up, blooming kids!”

  Chapter Four

  The next morning they all rose a little later than usual from their beds, or in Trixie’s case, right on time, and after a quick breakfast they headed out to the Teathorpe branch of catchers’ work yard, to see what jobs they had for the day.

  After a brisk morning walk in the glorious sunshine and passing a few happy villagers on the way, they soon arrived at the little cobblestone yard.

  “Morning, Streak,” said Colin, greeting the handsome grey horse as it stood patiently waiting in its stable. Colin gently brushed its grey mane with his hand and the horse nodded happily.

  “Here you go, boy,” Trixie said, holding up a carrot for him, which Streak quickly gobbled up from her open hand.

  “Urgh, less slobber, Streak,” she moaned happily before wiping her wet hand down her jacket, then Stanley appeared from the red-brick house.

  “Morning, all,” he called out as he crossed the yard towards them.

  “Morning, Stanley,” they replied back in chorus; yes, it was a glorious summer morning and everyone was just super cheerful that day.

  As he approached, the morning sunlight glimmered off Stanley’s bald head and his brown scuffed shoes made a clicking noise with every step, which made him sound like some strange steady tap dancer stuck on one beat.

  “Here you go, three escapees today,” he said as he joined the little group at the stable door, he then handed Colin a small glass globe.

  “Three!” exclaimed Colin in surprise. “My, that’s a busy morning” he frowned before raising the globe up and staring into the shimmering glass. In the smoky inner of the glass orb, images of the missing creatures began to appear, showing him what and where they were.

  “I see a gnome, a Krampus and I believe that looks like an Aguane!” Colin said loudly so the others could hear him. “Haven’t seen one of them for a while.”

  Jamie stood next to Colin, very intrigued by the magical device that Colin held in his hand.

  “Is that a crystal ball?” he asked eagerly.

  “Yes it is,” replied Colin before remembering that Jamie was still new to the magical world. “Here have a look for yourself, young man,” he said, passing it to the young lad.

  Jamie held it carefully in both hands and then peered into the shiny smooth surface just like Colin had done and as he did so, a whitish mist gently swirled inside again, and then from the mist, images of the three different creatures appeared to him. Firstly, a small bearded man in a pointy red hat, then a shaggy haired horned creature, and then finally a scenic image of a lake.

  “I know what a gnome is, but what is the Krampus, is it some kind of goat?” he asked inquisitively.

  “Yes it is, very good, young man,” replied Colin, happy that Jamie was beginning to get the hang of things.

  “Right, but what is this last thing?” he then asked. “You said it was an Aguane?” he asked a little confused. “But all I see is a lake.”

  “Well, that’s kind of right,” replied Stanley. “It’s right there,” Stanley said, peering over Jamie’s shoulder and pointing at the image.

  “But… but that’s a warning sign!” Jamie said staring at a big red square sign by the lake that was warning against diving in at the shallow end.

  “Yes, that’s right,” said Stanley in reply.

  “But how can a warning sign be a magical creature?” asked Jamie, curious and confused.

  “You’ll see!” replied Colin with a knowing grin before he started to get Streak out of the stable.

  “Try reading your book,” muttered Marty sitting on the old cart a few feet away. “That’s why we gave it to you.” Jamie reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out the little blue book before quickly flicking through the pages to find the Aguane.

  “Aguane, Aguane,” he muttered, scanning each page for the creature, because unlike human books that would list creatures in alphabetical order, the magical world listed creatures in order of amount of effort it takes to capture them, or time it would take to mud wrestle them into submission.

  “Here it is!” he said excitedly, finally finding the right page. “Aguane, a shape-shifting creature. Wow!” he gasped as his eyes widened in amazement. “Is it really a shape-shifting creature?”

  “Oh yes, a pretty good one as well, it’s known to take all kinds of forms,” Stanley replied.

  Jamie then continued to read the rest of the creature’s description. “Mainly female, they like to hang around large water areas, can change their shape at will into anything not living, and have been known to help young children in times of difficulty.”

  “That’s the Aguane,” Colin said, agreeing with the description.

  “So it should be a fun one for your first trip out,” added Stanley.

  Jamie stood for a moment looking very excited about the prospect of meeting a real shape-shifting creature, then Trixie, who was now across the yard, called out to Jamie.

  “Hey, Jamie, come and have a look at this,” she said waving him over.

  Jamie quickly strolled across the cobblestones to where Trixie was stood by one of the other brick sheds and once he had joined her, Trixie opened an old wooden worn door and stepped inside.

  “Come on,” she said, st
epping into a small gloomy room, whose only light source was a small dirty window beside the door. Jamie followed her into the small room and to his amazement he found himself looking at several metal cages, large glass containers, and other wooden cages and vessels around the room that were all full of small magical creatures looking bored, lonely and sad, kind of like humans waiting in the queue at the dentist. Jamie peered into the first glass jar in front of him, and inside sat a tiny winged fairy that was perched on a little mushroom reading a tiny little book, and she angrily waved him away because he was blocking her light.

  Then, moving around the room, he could see a couple of pixies wearing little green lederhosen who were stood in a wooden cage practicing their folk dancing, and next to them was a gnome in a glass bottle giving him a rather angry look as it stood chewing on a tiny wooden pipe.

  “Hello,” said Jamie, politely. The gnome made a rude gesture with its fingers before continuing to chew on its pipe.

  “What are all these creatures doing here?” Jamie asked, quickly moving along the room.

  “These are some of the magical creatures we and the other catchers have caught over the last few days,” Trixie replied. “If we don’t have the time to return them to their proper homes we have to store them here until someone can.”

  “Oh, right!” Jamie said, understanding why some of the creatures looked a little annoyed. Jamie then peered into a large glass tank full of murky water that sat in the far corner of the room. Suddenly something in the water approached the glass and to Jamie’s disbelief the body of a fish with a large tail fin, but with the head and front legs of a cat, suddenly appeared in front of him.

  “Urgh… what’s that?” gasped Jamie feeling a little queasy just looking at it.

  “Catfish,” replied Trixie.

  “That’s not right,” muttered Jamie before moving to the next glass container, where a thick green mist floated around inside of it.

  Jamie peered into it curiously and a large pair of angry yellow eyes stared back at him from within the mist.

  “What’s this one?” he asked.

  “That’s a gremlin, but don’t get too close, they’re quite dangerous, they carry bad luck” replied Trixie. “The Wizard who had to catch it had his pants catch fire twice, he hit his head on a cupboard door and he fell off his broom, all down to that thing.”

  “Wow!” muttered Jamie as he stared at the floating yellow eyes a little longer before he then moved on.

  “And this is one of the rarest magical creatures you’ll ever see,” Trixie said, pointing to empty glass tank.

  “What is it? Actually, where is it?” asked Jamie, looking puzzled as he gazed into the tank.

  “Watch!” replied Trixie grinning, before picking up a small bug that was scuttling across the floor and dangling it over the glass box. Suddenly a very long thin tongue shot out and grabbed the bug from Trixie’s fingers and then, appearing like magic in the middle of the tank, Jamie could now see a large multicoloured lizard creature sat on a log.

  “It’s a chameleon!” Trixie said excitedly. “One of the hardest creatures in Magicdom to catch, because of its excellent camouflage skills.”

  “Wow!” exclaimed Jamie staring in utter amazement at the large reptile, before it once again vanished from sight. “Hey, Where did it go?” he asked, looking hard for the creature in the tank.

  “It’s not gone anywhere, it’s still there” replied Trixie. “It’s just using its camouflage ability.”

  Then a male Latin voice suddenly spoke, making Jamie jump.

  “It’s true, I am still here.”

  “What?” Jamie said in surprise and confusion. “Who said that?”

  Trixie then sighed heavily in disappointment. “Emilio! You’re not supposed to talk,” she snapped at the glass tank.

  “My bad,” the lizard replied before reappearing in the tank again.

  “You’ve spoilt the whole thing now,” grumbled Trixie, very annoyed.

  “I’m sorry, I just can’t help it, it’s just been so long since someone came in here to talk to me, I get so lonely, I just need to share my pain,” Emilio groaned despairingly, in an over-the-top, dramatic fashion.

  “Someone comes to feed you twice a day and you keep them talking for nearly an hour every time,” replied Trixie bluntly, not falling for his overacting.

  “Really? It doesn’t seem that long!” replied Emilio.

  “This is why we caught him, Emilio is a very rare TALKING chameleon, who can’t keep QUIET,” Trixie said continuing to talk to Jamie.

  “It’s not my fault, it’s the way I am, it’s in my hot-blooded nature, my Latin spirit, I must be heard!” replied Emilio passionately.

  “You’re a lizard, you’re cold-blooded and you’re a chameleon, you’re supposed to be stealthy,” replied Trixie.

  “In my veins, yes, but in my heart I am a fiery dragon just waiting to explode,” cried Emilio, waving one of his tiny lizard fists in the air.

  “You’re also the creature who terrified a small village in South America, by singing to them from the tree branches above their huts for three days,” Trixie replied.

  “I was serenading their beautiful country,” Emilio said, innocently.

  “You nearly got burnt alive for singing Enrique Iglesias songs at them, they thought you were an evil tree spirit,” Trixie added before turning away.

  “No one appreciates the classics,” grumbled Emilio with a disgruntled shrug.

  “Anyway, as you can see, we have a pretty busy job here and these are some of the creatures you are probably going to meet in the days to come, so are you ready to go catching?” she asked looking Jamie in the eye.

  “Yes!” he replied excitedly.

  “Then let’s go,” she replied with a big smile, before turning and heading back to the door.

  “Wait! Don’t leave me here,” cried Emilio from inside his glass tank. “It’s dull and boring, I have no one to talk to but Kevin,” he added as Jamie and Trixie disappeared back outside.

  “Meow!” replied the catfish from his tank.

  “Oh shut up, Kevin!” snapped Emilio.

  A few minutes later they were trundling along the village streets on board the cart again, pulled by Streak, keeping to the strict speed limit as always, when Trixie suddenly remembered something from the night before that she meant to ask Colin.

  “So, Uncle, what did you find out last night?” she enquired.

  “Oh nothing! And something!” he replied cryptically.

  Jamie and Trixie then looked at each other with the same puzzled look upon their faces, before Trixie asked,

  “Well, what does that mean?”

  “Well, those very important witches and wizards all said absolutely nothing of importance,” replied Colin. “They merely talked about how great the Ministry was at the moment, and how wonderful everything was going, and what a pleasure it was working there.”

  “Okay!” Trixie exclaimed, still puzzled by her uncle’s strange reply. “So that’s good right?”

  “Well,” Colin replied before pausing in thought for a second. “They didn’t have a single bad thing to say about anything at the Ministry, anything at all.”

  “So that’s bad?” Trixie said, still very puzzled.

  Colin then gave a little sigh.

  “You’re not getting it, are you my dear?” he said, realising she was missing the point of the conversation, which I’m sure by now you clever readers have already worked out. No? Okay we shall continue.

  “Getting what?” replied Trixie getting a little annoyed and still a little confused.

  “No one likes their job that much,” Colin said, finally explaining what he was getting at. “There is always something to complain about, the workload, the hours, your uniform, the coffee, the lack of
respect for shorter colleagues,” Marty added as he sat between them. “Exactly no one ever likes their job one hundred percent, it’s just not natural,” Colin said continuing on.

  “But you see it’s not what they said that was important, it’s what they didn’t say.”

  “I get it,” Jamie said suddenly from the back of the cart where he had been sat listening. “It’s like my mum says, if everything is too good to be true, then there’s probably a catch?”

  “Yes, that’s it,” agreed Colin, happy one of his apprentices was getting the point of the conversation. “So now I definitely believe something is wrong at the Ministry, and it’s so wrong that no one is willing to talk about it,” continued Colin with a very serious tone to his words.

  “Or even worse, they don’t know anything about it all,” added Marty.

  “That’s terrifying!” Trixie said, a little frightened at this discovery.

  “Yes, yes it is and either way it can only mean one thing, there will be trouble ahead,” replied Colin.

  “But as long as there is moonlight, love and romance we’ll still be able to dance,” chuckled Marty.

  Colin then fell silent, stroking his beard as he drifted off into deep thought.

  “Oh no, roadworks!” Trixie groaned seeing big roadwork signs ahead of them.

  “See, told you!” muttered Colin.”

  After a long half an hour delay crawling slowly past the long line of roadworking pixies in their little red and white cone hats who were busy digging up the gravel track and laying down fresh cleaner gravel, they were soon out on the country roads and travelling at a faster pace. Charging along, they dashed past the yellow butter fields of Spreadablebutterton village, and then they passed the even stranger chocolate mousse nature reserve, no spoons allowed beyond the entrance, and on and on they continued until finally they arrived at their first destination of the day.

  “The Moaning Mountains!” declared Colin pointing up to the mountainous peaks that disappeared high into the clouds above them.