Falling For Fear (A Grim Awakening Book 4)

by Michelle Gross

  I laid her down on the bed gently, and she was a mess of nerves and love. I raised up to take off my shirt and jeans then found my way back to her. She had her legs propped up, knees bent together with her hands beside her head. She waited for me to do something. The moment I said, “making love” the nervousness in her crawled out. This was new to her, and it might as well have been for me too. The last time I made love to a girl was in high school, and I wouldn’t really consider it that. It was just a shared first experience for me and the girl.

  I lifted her leg and lightly kissed her ankle before settling between her thighs. Her dark eyes met mine intensely even with her uncertainty. My mouth had yet to get acquainted with her, and now more than anything, I wanted to taste her arousal. I spread her legs further and lowered my face to her pussy. I adjusted my hard-on as it strained against the covers. The view of her was tearing at me, and her scent was thick with lust and need.

  Fear hummed inside, and I covered her with my mouth having my first taste of Blue. She bucked. “Oh, God,” she cried.

  I slipped my hands underneath her and gripped her butt, lifting her up to my face. I ate her like I was starved and fucked her with my tongue. She would lift her eyes to watch me then she’d drop her head back onto the pillow with a moan. Her hands clawed at the covers before they finally found their way into my hair, exactly where I wanted them. I groaned. Her reactions were perfect and the only thing I cared about. I’d keep her sated just to watch her writhe for me.

  I fed off her approaching orgasm and increased the pressure of my tongue as she got closer. “Ryan,” she panted, equal parts frustrated and tender. I moved one of my hands from her underneath her and added a finger. That was all it took for her to quiver and spasm on my finger and tongue. I drank in her passion greedily before traveling on up her body. I placed light kisses across her belly, mouth still covered with her. Her belly sucked in every time I touched her, and she suppressed a squeal until I kissed her again. She finally shuddered with the next kiss and giggled. “That tickles,” she admitted softly.

  “I never thought you’d be a ticklish person.”

  “I never thought I was either.” She smiled, raking her hand through my hair. I enjoyed it when she did that. I enjoyed her touch, period. “But I’m learning a lot of new things about myself with you around.”

  I didn’t have to ask if that was a compliment. Her voice alone was full of affection, as was her emotions. So many spilled from her. All of them the sickly, gooey kind. I’ve never been so grateful for anything in my life. I never wanted her to give it to anyone else but me.

  I found my way to her nipples and covered them one at a time with my mouth. She squeezed her arms over my head like she couldn’t ever press me into her enough. I understood that feeling all too well. I didn’t think I’d ever be satisfied unless I could bury myself into her soul instead of just her body.

  I could tease her nipples all day, but I wanted my lips on hers. I scooted on up until my body was covering hers while keeping the majority of my weight off of her. She was thin, and I didn’t want to crush her or make her uncomfortable with my weight.

  With her hands still in my hair, she forced my head down until her mouth met mine. She took my lips softly, yet I could feel the possessiveness in it. I recognized hers because it was a mirror to mine. Each time she took me in her body, my mind was trembling with the word ‘mine’. She was covered in marks that showed everyone she belonged to me but that wasn’t enough until she wanted to be mine… like now.

  That’s why this moment was everything with her. She had been giving herself to me completely every single time. I had been too afraid to look too deep into what I felt between us. I wasn’t terrified of wanting to give into this with her anymore.

  I took control of the kiss, still taking it slowly but I slipped my tongue into her mouth and she moaned in response. This alone was amazing. Molly wasn’t a person that looked like she did kisses, and neither did I, but together, it was perfect. We made out for a long time like two teenagers who had yet to sleep together. There was no rush. Her hands traveled between my hair and back, and I traced her neck and sides with my fingers until the kiss became more. It was the moment she decided to lift her legs up, wrapping them around my waist. All I had to do was lean up just a bit… and her moan met mine against my lips as my cock slid into her. I sank into complete and utter perfection.

  I broke our kiss just so that I could see the look in her eyes. It was everything I knew she’d give and more.

  She brought my head back down and continued our kiss. My movements were slow and without a destination to reach that high with her. This wasn’t about the pleasure, this was all about the experience this moment was with her. Still, my body shook and responded to the way she wrapped around me, and the urgent way her tongue dipped into my mouth told me she was riding the storm with me. I was determined to take things slow with her, in no rush to succumb to the pleasure. It felt amazing enough just being inside her.

  I need to be inside her, Fear words vibrated inside me before his tail materialized behind me.

  I broke the kiss and glimpsed back and wiggled the tail. My blood ran hot at the thought of taking her in another way, but only if she’d allow it. I lifted the tail up in the air. “Molly,” I whispered, tipping my head where she’d know to look over my shoulder. Her eyes were glazed over with lust, but she did as I wanted and looked. Her eyes widened. I inhaled quickly, searching for fear or worry. Instead, I was greeted with burning passion. She wanted it. No reluctance at all and she had to know where I planned to put it. “Fear wants it in your ass, Blue.” I didn’t have to tell her that I did too. I wanted to be sure this was okay before I went ahead.

  She nodded. “God, yes,” she whimpered. “Even with pain, I’ll always get pleasure with you.”

  She had no idea what her words were doing to me. I bit into her collarbone before reaching back to grab her legs and pinning them against her chest with my shoulders. This position folded her up but she never complained as I held her down with my chest. I groaned as I slid into her deeper and she hissed and whimpered as she was forced to take me deeper.

  “So deep,” she breathed out, and I nodded.

  This position gave my tail better access to her ass. I slid my tail underneath me, all the while shrinking it in size. Stretching her with pain was something I wanted to do but not when I wanted to keep this moment gentle for her. It would still fill her up but not painfully. Hopefully, it was nothing but pleasure. She squirmed beneath me the moment my tail slid across her arousal, coating her before entering. I had stopped moving inside her as I slid the tail against her flesh.

  She wrapped her arms around my neck then dropped them back down and groaned. “I don’t know how to handle what I’m feeling,” she admitted while meeting my eyes. She bit her fingers then released them and moved them into my hair. She was a chaotic mess. My mess. The one I knew I could withstand and keep. Because she could do the same when it came to me.

  Her flowery shit was spilling out of her again, and my heart responded immediately. I didn’t try to fight the feeling. I just accepted it for what it was.

  I pressed into her ass gently. Her hands slipped onto my shoulders where she gripped. Her mouth fell open as she took in the sensation of being filled by me two ways. I shook slightly, unable to help myself. There was something sensitive with my tail, and it had my cock hardening even more inside her. I wiggled the tail a bit just to test her reaction and she didn’t disappoint. “Oh,” she screamed. “It feels so good, strangely.”

  That was what I wanted to hear. I released a breath and claimed her mouth again as I started moving my tail and cock in and out of her. My stomach was consumed with heat, and the pleasure—nothing came close to what was rolling through my entire body as I moved inside her slowly. We were burning, engulfing ourselves in our passion despite the deliberately slow pace I put us in. My movements became jerkier, and Molly’s became more urgent and desperate. Our kiss was wild a
nd sloppy but that was what made it fucking better.

  She tore her mouth apart from mine only for a second just to say, “You can’t hate me. You can’t.”

  Like I’d ever hate her. But soon I’d know why she said those words.

  “I’m about to,” she whimpered into my mouth. I felt her entire body tensing underneath me, and she pulsed around me with her oncoming orgasm. I knew I was gone the moment she came. “I’m coming,” she screamed, pressing her head back into the pillow. Her legs tried to straighten as she scattered into a million pieces but my body kept them from going anywhere. She was forced to ride it out as I swelled inside her. And when I released a guttural groan, I emptied myself inside her. Goose bumps broke out all over my skin, the pleasure was so consuming my legs and stomach—hell, my entire body had a twitch to it. A pleasant one that left me with no strength to do anything, but drop down beside her.

  Her legs dropped slowly, and she was already sliding into my arms when I grabbed for her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Molly

  I stirred from my peaceful sleep, reaching out to an empty bed. I peeled my eyes open slowly and saw that Ryan was missing. My mind replayed last night, and I pressed a smile into the pillow before rising slowly. My hair covered my bare breasts completely as I stared toward the window. The sky hardly changed from day to night here, but there was enough difference between them to make out that it was daytime.

  Where did Ryan go?

  My stomach did its cue to growl as it did every time I awoke from sleep. “Like clockwork,” Ryan said as he entered the room with a plate of food and cup of orange juice. The peaceful smile on his face had me responding with one in return. He placed the juice on the stand next to his bed and climbed into the bed beside me.

  “What did you make?” I asked.

  “BLT sandwiches.”

  He handed me one and I took it. “Is there anything you can’t make?” I asked, and he laughed.

  “If there is something then I can easily learn to make it,” he answered while taking a bite of his sandwich.

  I tugged a part of the sheet we were sitting on and pulled it onto my lap and covered my chest. He arched a brow. “I was enjoying the view,” he told me, and I shook my head before taking a bite.

  Pleasant butterflies were in my stomach as I ate while enjoying his presence next to me. Nothing could get better than this, but I knew it could get bad. My butterflies turned to a stampede of elephants. It was time to tell him. Just get it out there so that he could decide what happened between us. It was terrifying to think I was about to give up the one thing that placed what happened to us in his hands. I didn’t like to give up control, but I loved him a whole lot more than everything else. It was crazy that I fell for him so quickly but I didn’t care that it didn’t make sense. I didn’t want to stay next to him with this eating away at me every second of the day.

  I took a drink of the orange juice then handed it to him. He finished it off, and I turned to face him and scooted close. Then I moved closer because I wasn’t satisfied with only this amount of closeness. At this rate, I was going to end up in his lap. He chuckled and placed his hands on my sides. “If you want me to hold you, turn around and I’ll place you between my legs,” he told me with an easy grin. My mind scrambled in its wake. “We can cuddle.” My heart soared. How could I not be afraid of telling him who I was when I could lose this with him?

  I smiled and shook my head. “No, I want to face you when I talk to you.” He nodded. My knees were touching his legs and he slid his hands up and down my sides.

  “You’re gorgeous, you know that?” he asked, and I tucked my hair behind my ears and covered myself with the sheet.

  “Have you ever done anything truly horrible to someone?” I asked abruptly.

  He laughed. “I’m Fear, of course I’ve done a lot of horrible shit.”

  “No, I mean… to a good person that didn’t deserve it?”

  He simply looked at me for several seconds. “No one’s truly innocent, Blue. Even the ones that go to Heaven.” I didn’t know if I could believe the same thing. His hand tangled into my hair and twisted. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

  “I want to tell you, but I’m scared,” I admitted.

  He smiled. “Believe me, I know,” he said. “But why?”

  “Do you think becoming Fear was your fate?” I asked hurriedly.

  “No, my fate was supposed to be very different,” he told me like he was in the past stuck there for a moment. Just like I was for very different reasons.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because an angel told me my real fate.”

  My eyes widened. “Really?” That was surprising. I’ve never seen one but I would have if I had stuck around with Fear the night they closed the portal in the human world. I’d probably be dead too. “What was your fate?... If it’s okay for me to ask.”

  “I don’t mind, and I was meant to be human. Wife and kids and a long life. Vastly different than what it’s become down here.” His tone took a darker tone toward the end, and I shivered.

  “Maybe you got a new fate down here,” I barely whispered.

  He studied me with his dark, searching eyes. “Yeah?”

  I nodded quickly. “I mean, you know how Grim and his wife were destined,” I rambled, grabbing my fingers and circling them around each other. “Everyone talked about their love and how they were destined down here even though no one even knew who she was or if she even existed…”

  “Yeah?” He wanted me to go on. I knew I was a rambling mess right now. I kept prolonging the hardest part.

  I took a deep breath. I wanted to sound confident about this because I was. Ryan and I were good together. I honestly believed that. I lifted my gaze to his and leaned into him. “Maybe everything that’s happened—all the bad that we’ve done and been through was all meant to happen so that we could get to this point.”

  He lifted a brow slowly and tilted his lip partially. “What are you saying, Blue?” His tone sent a sweet ache to my core.

  “I think you are my fate,” I told him. “And if you aren’t, then I’ll make you mine regardless.”

  He smiled and leaned into kiss me, but I brought my finger to his lips. “There’s something I have to tell you,” I told him.

  “Get away from him!” I jerked backward to Melanie’s voice, and a second later she had me thrown against the door.

  “What the fuck, Melanie?” Ryan bellowed.

  I searched Melanie’s face. I didn’t understand. “Melanie,” I whizzed. “I thought—” She didn’t let me finish. She punched me in the face. The impact jerked the side of my head into the wall.

  “How long has she been here?” Melanie screamed at Ryan. He looked furious. My stomach churned because right now, he was mad for me. But Melanie was about to ruin all my chances… She had told me she’d let me tell him. “You don’t recognize her? Who she is?” she asked him, and his eyes squinted before turning to me.

  I shook my head violently and looked to Melanie. “Melanie, shut up! You said you’d let me tell him. I was about to. Please!” I didn’t care that I was begging and pleading, I’d do it over and over if it would have made a difference in what happened next.

  Her hand went to my neck and squeezed. Her strength was amazing given her size. “Remember how you died in the hospital?” No. No. No. No. “Remember the figure standing in the road the day you wrecked your truck?” Melanie asked him.

  “Stop!” I screamed. I was too terrified to even look over at Ryan.

  “Remember the ghost-girl that was always next to Fear? ‘Good boy, good boy’,” she chanted the words I used to say to him when I was bitter and resentful toward everything so I wanted to hurt the good boy. My face had caught fire, and my throat and eyes burned I was so ashamed, embarrassed, and furious all at once.

  I dared to look over at Ryan. His eyes were stony and blank until they locked on mine, and then I knew it all clicked because stone-like eyes became mu
rderous ones. His eyes blazed red as he pierced me with them. Guilty, guilty, I bet I looked and smelled.

  “Ryan,” I called to him. “I was just about to tell you—”

  “Molly,” he tested my name. “Molly.” This time it was darker, more disgusted and fueled with realization.

  Melanie lifted my hand and showed him. “These hands drove a knife into your heart while you were unconscious in the hospital.”

  I couldn’t believe Melanie was doing this. I knew I did her wrong, but this was the kind of thing Marcus would do to someone.

  He covered his face with his hands and roared. “You’re fucking dead!” he told me, and I broke down and cried, knowing I had lost him. “How could you crawl underneath me and not say a word about who you were?” he asked and I flinched. He grabbed his head again. “Shut up, Fear!” he hissed and shook his head. He looked madder and madder each passing second. Then his eyes widened once again. “That’s why you even brought her here!” He grabbed the mattress and flung it across the room. “You knew who she was and brought her here. What was this, some sick game for the both of you?” He was arguing with Fear. My stomach lurched. The food I just ate was about to come up.

  Melanie watched Ryan with a smile. Something was unsettling about it. She released my neck slowly and turned around with a killer grin. Leaning in, she whispered, “You didn’t think I’d let you be happy, did you, Molly?” I shuddered. This wasn’t Melanie. “I wanted you to be eternally miserable, not happy.”

  The Devil.

  He tipped Melanie’s face into a devious grin before pulling something from his pocket. “I found this in her room.” Ryan raised his head as she spoke. She tossed the vial I threw away and he caught it. “It’s probably poison.”

  “Ryan, this isn’t Melanie!” I screamed. “It’s the Devil.” The Devil didn’t even try and stop me from opening my mouth. He knew anything I said, Ryan wouldn’t believe now. It was over.