Love Inc.

by Yvonne Collins

  ‘This is all your fault,’ Saliyah whispers, reading over my shoulder. ‘If you hadn’t pushed Mom to start her own business, she’d never have met Xavier.’

  Dad stirs on the sofa. ‘Xavier? You know about this guy?’ Pushing himself up, he staggers toward us. ‘You keep your mother’s secrets, but you have no problem invading my privacy,’ he says, slamming the laptop closed.

  ‘Dad, I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I shouldn’t have done that, but I wanted to know what’s wrong with you.’

  ‘What’s wrong with me?’ It sounds like he’s directing the question to himself instead of me. ‘I’m going to bed.’

  After he staggers down the hall, Saliyah leans over the coffee table and nudges the beer cans aside to read the pages underneath. ‘Divorce papers,’ she says.

  ‘Saliyah.’

  ‘Don’t talk to me.’

  I follow her down the hall until she slams my own bedroom door in my face.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Syd hangs up the phone and hugs Kali and me voluntarily. It can only mean good news about Banksy. ‘The vet says he can come home on Saturday,’ she says. ‘This is going to be a great year!’

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ I say as we file into a pew. ‘When’s he coming home?’

  Syd and Kali look at me strangely.

  ‘What?’ I stifle a yawn. Kali let me crash in the trailer last night to escape the tension at home. Both Dad and Saliyah are still mad at me, and I can’t say I blame them. I pushed Mom into starting her business and taking the course with Xavier. I thought it would be good for her and ultimately good for Dad. But if she was making out in a restaurant, all hope of a reunion is lost.

  ‘Never mind,’ Syd says. ‘You’ve got a lot on your mind.’

  A woman turns from the pew ahead and shushes us. The Clarksville Players are holding auditions at St. Joe’s for the Have a Heart Valentine’s Day Broadway Revue. The governor took over as chair of the event last year, and the revue raised a ton of money for charity, largely due to the vocal stylings of one Addison Mayfield.

  We’re trying to get into the chorus to gain access to Addison. It’s a great idea, but I can barely carry a tune, and judging by our rehearsal in the trailer, Syd’s even worse.

  I look around and see the pews filling fast. It figures the auditions would be held in the same place we meet for group, but St. Joe’s is in constant use by community groups.

  The director welcomes everyone, and introduces his two stars, a chubby man in his thirties named Bobby Rae, and Addison Mayfield. Addison is even prettier in person than she is in the newspaper. She’s about five-feet-ten, with soft brown eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, and a wide smile. Her shiny dark hair swings in a ponytail over her pink cashmere cardigan and gray wool pants.

  ‘She looks like a deb,’ Syd says dismissively.

  ‘But apparently she’s not behaving like one,’ Kali says.

  The auditions progress in alphabetical order. When they get to the L’s, I slide down in my seat. ‘Oh, no,’ I whisper. ‘Client in the house.’

  Dylan Langley has risen from the front pew to pass sheet music to the pianist. He’s trim and stylish in dark jeans, an expensive-looking sweater, and a bright striped scarf. ‘Remember the guy whose boyfriend fell into the trap we baited with Brody?’

  ‘He’d better suck,’ Syd says. ‘We don’t need clients buzzing around when we’re working on Addison.’

  It seems like the world is shrinking as our Love, Inc. client roster grows. Now the business isn’t just biting our butts socially, it’s biting us all over.

  Dylan launches into something from Phantom of the Opera, and Kali whispers, ‘He so doesn’t suck. And he’s cute, too. Why would his ex choose Brody?’

  In the end, he didn’t; Raphael groveled and Dylan forgave him. That happens a lot in our line of work. Hollis is another classic case. Despite her resolution in the restroom that day, we’ve seen her talking to Fletcher in the halls again.

  When Dylan finishes, Bobby Rae leaps to his feet and yells, ‘Bravo!’ Addison echoes his shout, and the director announces, ‘You’re in.’

  ‘Crap,’ I say, holding sheet music over my face as Dylan returns, grinning, to his seat.

  ‘MacDuff?’ the director calls. ‘Zahra Ahmed-MacDuff?’

  Dylan turns and waves. Since we’re busted anyway, I wave back at Dylan, and we file to the front of the church.

  ‘Break a leg,’ he says as we pass. ‘I need to talk to you later.’

  Kali gets her guitar out of its case, and we perform ‘Do-Re-Mi’ from The Sound of Music, with Syd and I tackling the kids’ parts. Kali sings to win, and does her best to drown us out with vigorous strumming.

  When we’re done, Bobby Rae doesn’t look impressed, but Addison claps hard. Her vote clearly carries more clout, because the director welcomes us into the chorus.

  Dylan joins us when we return to our pews, and launches into a long complaint about Raphael, who cheated on him again. On New Year’s Eve, when Raphael was supposed to be out of town, Dylan ran into him at a party with another guy. It turns out Raphael and the new guy work together at a bistro attached to the bar where we put up posters of Miss Daisy.

  ‘I suspected something was going on for weeks,’ Dylan continues, despite glares from the people around us. ‘Why did he have to lie and sneak around?’

  ‘Well, I’m sorry things didn’t work out,’ I say, as the auditions wind down. ‘But it sounds like you’re better off without him.’

  ‘I know,’ he says, sighing. ‘But I want that bastard to pay.’ He clutches my arm as I try to follow Syd and Kali toward Addison, who’s already been surrounded by admirers. ‘And I hear you guys have a revenge service.’

  How is he hearing this? Somewhere, Love, Inc. has sprung a mighty big leak.

  ‘Dylan, please,’ I say. ‘We don’t talk about business in public.’

  ‘Can I call you, then?’ he asks.

  ‘Only if you’re looking for a new match,’ I say. ‘Then maybe we can help.’

  By the time I break free of Dylan, Addison has disappeared. The director hands us the sheet music for fifteen Broadway numbers. ‘Learn them all before first practice,’ he says. ‘We meet next Thursday, from four thirty to six.’

  Fabulous. That’s exactly when group reconvenes.

  ‘Zahra!’ Lauren’s voice practically launches all three of us into the air. ‘I heard about what happened with Andrew. Trey feels horrible about shooting off his mouth.’

  I pull Lauren into the clump of cedars beside me and keep my voice low. ‘Trey called me to apologize, but it’s fine. Andrew and I weren’t meant to be anyway.’

  ‘Why are we hanging out in the bushes?’ Lauren asks, pulling a twig out of her perfect hair.

  ‘Just keeping an eye out for Dieter,’ Kali says.

  ‘Tell me you’re not skipping,’ Lauren says. ‘Without you, it’s just me against the guys.’

  ‘We’re not skipping,’ Syd says. ‘But we do have a bit of a conflict.’

  The light dawns on Lauren. ‘Oh, you’re on a mission. Who is it this time?’

  ‘Privacy guaranteed,’ Kali says. ‘You know that.’

  ‘Come on, I got you started,’ she says.

  ‘And you continue to be a great source of business,’ I say. ‘We appreciate it.’

  Lauren peers through the bushes. ‘Hey, that’s Addison Mayfield. So Willem finally convinced you guys to take the case.’

  I neither confirm nor deny. ‘So how well do you know Addison?’

  ‘I’ve known her since grade school,’ Lauren says. ‘Let me say, there’s a side of Addie that her daddy wouldn’t like.’

  I nod, exchanging a look with Syd and Kali. ‘Thanks, Lauren,’ I say. ‘We’ve got a lot on our plates today. If you could help us keep Dieter distracted, we’d cut you in.’

  The three of us need to trade off between group and the revue rehearsal, and we want to keep the discussion so lively that Dieter doesn’t fuss about
our shaving off a little time from each end. It’s not much of a plan, but it’s all we’ve got.

  ‘I can’t take a cent after what you did for Trey and me,’ Lauren says. ‘Plus, I believe in your cause.’ She points to Dieter pulling into a parking spot. ‘It’ll be fun.’

  Dieter has barely clapped off a round when Lauren is out of the blocks. ‘So, Evan,’ she says, ‘how’s your love life?’

  Evan eyes her suspiciously. ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, the rest of us are always spilling our guts about that stuff, and you hardly ever share,’ Lauren says.

  ‘Maybe I don’t have anything to say,’ he says, flipping up the hood of his sweatshirt. ‘Some things are off-limits.’

  I take the baton from Lauren. ‘Off-limits?’ I say. ‘Nothing’s off-limits here. You already know that my family is a complete wreck. Plus, I’ve just had two dating disasters. Now it’s your turn.’

  ‘I’ll share,’ Simon says.

  ‘Simon, it’s sweet of you to jump in to save Evan like that,’ Lauren says. ‘I notice you two have become really close since you broke up with Trisha and her replacement.’

  Her insinuation is lost on Evan, but Simon gets it. ‘I’m not into guys, if that’s what you’re implying.’

  ‘Come on, Simon,’ Lauren urges. ‘This is the place to open up. No one will judge you here.’

  Dieter claps once. ‘Enough, Lauren. If Simon isn’t comfortable with this discussion—’

  ‘I am not gay,’ Simon says.

  ‘Closets can’t exist in this room, Simon,’ I say. ‘Come out. You’re among friends.’

  ‘Yeah man,’ Evan says. ‘It’s a free country.’

  ‘I AM NOT GAY,’ Simon says.

  ‘It’s normal to be confused at this stage,’ I say. ‘Especially when there are problems at home.’

  Dieter’s hands are frozen mid-clap, as if he’s not quite sure what the offense is.

  ‘I wish I were into girls,’ Lauren says. ‘At least I understand how they think. God knows I never understand men.’

  ‘I’m especially good with girls being together,’ Evan says.

  ‘It’s a common male fantasy,’ I say. ‘Right, Dieter?’

  Dieter’s hands are still raised, the clap unclapped, when Kali and Syd slip in, apologizing for being late.

  I toss the baton to them. ‘Hey guys, we’re talking about homophobia. Sorry to miss the rest of the discussion, but I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.’

  Dylan, our revenge-seeking former client, clings to me like a magnet on metal from the moment I slip into the pew. ‘Have you changed your mind?’ he asks. ‘Will you take my case?’

  I shake my head. ‘Please, Dylan. I’m here to sing.’

  Luckily, he sings well enough to drown me out through five Broadway hits. When the break comes, however, he starts up again. ‘Raphael and his new boyfriend are saying terrible things about me, and it’s a tight community, you know.’

  ‘Your best revenge is to move on, Dylan,’ I say, trying to push past him.

  ‘What I need is closure,’ he says, scratching absentmindedly at a hive on his neck. It reminds me of how I felt after Eric cheated on me.

  ‘If I say we’ll think about it, will you leave me alone today?’ I ask.

  He clutches my arm and says, ‘Thank you. Thank you.’

  ‘That wasn’t a yes,’ I say, slipping away. But hopefully it was enough to buy me some time to meet Addison and get her talking.

  The crowd around Addison is tough to penetrate. Most of her fans are guys, because even in a demure dress and zero makeup, Addison is stunning.

  ‘It’s so nice to meet you,’ I say, when I finally get close enough. ‘I see your picture in the paper all the time. You and Willem make such a great couple. Does he sing too?’

  ‘Oh, no,’ Addison says, smiling. ‘He’s not into music. But he always comes to watch when I’m performing.’

  ‘That kind of support keeps couples together,’ I say. ‘My boyfriend’s a saint too.’

  ‘Lucky us,’ she says.

  I shrug. ‘Yeah, but between you and me, it’s a burden sometimes. I don’t even like to swear in front of him.’

  Addison laughs. ‘Come downstairs and you can swear all you like. We’re having tea and sandwiches in the kitchen.’

  ‘Oh, I can’t,’ I say. I really can’t. I’d have to pass Dieter’s room to get there.

  ‘You should get to know everyone,’ Addison presses. ‘It’s hard to sing in harmony when you’re all strangers.’

  Reluctantly, I shadow her downstairs. Rushing past Dieter’s room, I catch a glimpse of Kali, Syd, and Lauren. They’ve pulled their chairs into a tight circle, and judging by Dieter’s raised eyebrows, there’s a lot of sharing going on.

  I grab a cup of tea and a cookie. ‘Your Dad seems so nice on TV,’ I say. ‘And he’s a great governor.’

  Her smile tightens ever so slightly. ‘Yeah, he’s all about the governing.’

  ‘Strict?’ I ask.

  ‘You have no idea.’ Now her smile disappears, and her long elegant fingers fiddle with the gold chain that hangs around her neck.

  ‘Well, I know all about family pressure,’ I say. ‘My family hates me.’ It’s about the only true thing I’ve said so far.

  ‘They don’t hate you,’ she says.

  Somehow, infuriatingly, my eyes water up. ‘They do.’

  ‘Well, that’s just today,’ she says, offering me more tea. ‘At least you have your perfect boyfriend.’

  ‘Yeah, he’s pretty amazing, but—’

  ‘You have a boyfriend?’ Dylan asks. He’s popped up beside me, with a cookie in one hand and his sheet music in the other. ‘Then you must get how I feel about Raph.’

  I turn nervously to Addison, but another chorus member has grabbed her arm.

  ‘You promised not to talk about this,’ I hiss, pulling Dylan a few paces away.

  ‘But I can’t think about anything else,’ he says. ‘I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. It’s only when I’m singing that I forget for a while.’ His blue eyes swim for a moment. ‘Raphael needs to pay, Zahra. Help me get my self-respect back.’

  I can tell that Addison’s conversation with the other choir member is coming to a close. If I don’t make a move, I’ll lose my chance.

  ‘We’ll do it,’ I say. Dylan comes forward to hug me, and I block him. ‘Under two conditions: You can’t come anywhere near me in this church again, and you can’t say a word about this to anyone. Anyone. Understood?’

  Dylan disappears like the Cheshire cat, leaving only his huge smile behind.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ I say, rejoining Addison. ‘Poor guy’s going through a rough patch with his boyfriend. Relationships can be tricky.’

  ‘They can,’ Addison agrees. ‘But yours is solid, isn’t it?’

  I hesitate for just a nanosecond. ‘Oh, sure. Though I’m not sure I deserve my guy. He’s so sweet, you know. But sometimes I start wondering what it would be like to be with someone else. I guess that makes me a bad person.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she says. ‘Sticking it out with someone is tough, no matter how sweet they are.’

  ‘You and your boyfriend have been together a while, right?’

  ‘Two years. And everyone thinks we’re this perfect couple – especially my parents. I feel like I’m too young to be perfect. It’s a lot of pressure.’

  ‘You are too young for all that pressure,’ I say. ‘How do you cope?’

  Glancing around, she whispers, ‘When I need to blow off a little steam, I have Viper.’

  ‘Viper? Sounds dangerous.’

  ‘He is,’ Addison says.

  I take a bite of my cookie and chew. ‘How would a nice choir girl like me ever meet a guy like that?’

  Addison smiles. ‘You just need to know where to look.’

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Syd returns from the church with fresh pails of warm soapy water. ‘I still can’t believe it,’ she says, putting one
pail in front of me and another beside Kali in the St. Joe’s parking lot. Dipping her brush into the water, she gets straight to work scrubbing a tarp. ‘Addison Mayfield, Austin’s sweetheart and queen of her daddy’s upcoming debutante ball, is screwing around on Willem with a guy named Viper?’

  ‘Apparently,’ I say, putting the last of the wet harnesses to one side and rubbing my hands together to get the circulation going before starting in on the carabiners.

  It’s our punishment from Dieter for missing half a session last week. Apparently he wasn’t so riveted by our animated discussions that he forgot to make another note in his black book. He’s agreed to ‘let us off the hook,’ however, if we clean the equipment from a particularly muddy ropes course.

  Willem was crushed when I told him what I learnt from Addison, although he’s still clinging to the hope that ‘Viper’ is a fast car, or a fun-park ride. That means we have to forge ahead and collect the video evidence he needs before Valentine’s Day and Addison’s coming out party.

  ‘So where do you find a poisonous snake in Austin?’ Syd says, stretching out a clean tarp to dry.

  ‘That’s the hitch,’ I say. ‘Vipers are most easily found in Hill Country – at all-night dance parties.’

  ‘Sound like fun,’ Syd says, cheering up immediately.

  ‘But not as much fun as our slam on Raphael,’ Kali says, gaily waving a brush at Dieter, who’s come out of the church to check on us. ‘Don’t you love our business?’

  As we march down the sidewalk, I turn to Kali and continue my quiz. ‘One more time. Raphael’s birthday is …?’

  ‘April ninth,’ she says. ‘He’ll be eighteen.’

  ‘Favorite food?’ I ask.

  ‘Hamburgers. With mozzarella.’

  ‘Allergies?’

  ‘Cats and tree bark.’

  ‘Family?’

  ‘Single mom, two sisters, dad’s a deadbeat, last seen in Iowa,’ Kali rattles off. ‘Z, relax. I’ve got it. Every shred of information we pulled from Dylan is all up here.’ She taps her temple. ‘He’s hoping to study musical theater at NYU, rubs his nose when he’s nervous, and his mom still calls him “Nuddiepie.”’