Love Inc.

by Yvonne Collins

  ‘I think she’s ready,’ I tell Syd, pulling the photos out of my bag and handing them to Kali. ‘Remember, keep this short and sweet. Don’t get carried away.’

  ‘I’ve done a little acting before, Z,’ Kali says, putting away the photos and pulling out her brush and lip gloss. ‘I think I know what I’m doing.’

  ‘Kali, Raphael’s gay,’ Syd says. ‘You don’t have to reel him in.’

  ‘I still like to look good when I hit the stage,’ she says. In fact, she has played down her style today, with nerdy jeans, sneakers, and Brody’s old checkered flannel jacket. But her hair is still fabulous.

  When we reach the bistro, Kali and Syd hold back while I peer inside. ‘Target’s serving a table at the back.’ I recognise Raphael’s dark, chiseled looks in an instant. He takes an order from a couple of men about Dad’s age, who are holding hands over the table. As Raphael turns, a tall, well-built blond waiter emerges from the kitchen and winks at him. ‘And there’s Raphael’s new guy, Loverboy.’

  ‘Let’s do it,’ Kali says. Throwing back her head, she squeezes eyedrops into each eye. Then she flings open the door and makes her entrance. Syd and I follow, a few paces behind.

  Marching straight up to Raphael, Kali demands, ‘How could you?’ The fake tears stream down her face.

  ‘Excuse me?’ Raphael says. ‘Did I get your order wrong?’

  ‘Are you trying to pretend you don’t know me, Raphael Augustus Moneiro?’ Kali says.

  A few customers turn and stare.

  Raphael looks around nervously and says, ‘I don’t know you.’

  Kali unravels her scarf and throws it dramatically onto an empty table. ‘I should have known you’d try this.’ Rifling through her bag, she grabs the photographs I’ve been tinkering with all week in Photoshop. Up close, Syd’s little cousin bears a pretty strong resemblance to Raphael. ‘Does this help jog your memory?’ She waves a baby photo under his nose. ‘Or this?’

  Loverboy steps in to get a look at the images.

  Kali makes it easy for him. One by one, she slaps the photos down on the table beside her scarf. A shot of Raphael and Kali with the baby in the park. A shot of them in someone’s living room. A shot of them in a nursery, with Raphael standing over a crib. ‘You bastard,’ she says, flopping into a chair.

  One of Raphael’s customers reaches over to pat her back reassuringly. ‘What happened, sweetie?’

  Kali turns, thrilled at the opening. ‘This … this deadbeat left me all alone with a baby. I’m only seventeen and I’m trying to be a good mom, but it’s so hard.’

  Loverboy is going through the pictures now. ‘What’s going on?’ he asks Raphael. ‘You never mentioned being with women – let alone having a kid.’

  ‘I’ve never seen this girl before in my life!’ Raphael says, rubbing his nose.

  ‘Oh, come on,’ I say, moving into position beside Kali. ‘She’s the mother of your child. You can change teams, but you can’t change that.’

  ‘I don’t know you either,’ Raphael says, rubbing his nose harder. His eyes are wild and confused.

  ‘Lucinda loves you,’ I say. ‘You can still come home and be a good father.’ I hold out another picture. ‘Little Raffie looks just like you.’

  ‘He does look like you,’ Loverboy says, looking from the picture to Raphael and back.

  Kali wipes her eyes. ‘That one was taken on Raphael’s birthday – April ninth. We had hamburgers with mozzarella, and we took the baby out to Mount Bonnell to watch the sunset.’ She smiles at the memory. ‘No matter what happens, that will always be our special spot.’

  Loverboy turns on Raphael. ‘You said that was our special spot.’

  ‘Then we put our little Nuddiepie to bed,’ Kali continues, ‘and watched A Few Good Men.’ She’s on a roll now, spitting intimate details about Raphael’s life. Loverboy continues to stare at Raphael as Kali goes in for the kill. ‘What I love most is just snuggling on the couch.’ She gives the sympathetic customer a sad smile. ‘Raphael has the cutest birthmark on his chest, in the shape of Italy.’

  ‘That’s it.’ Loverboy rips off his apron and turns to leave. ‘We’re done.’

  ‘Done?’ Raphael says. ‘We can’t be done. I’ve never met this girl, I swear.’

  ‘You’ve got guilty written all over you,’ Loverboy says, pointing to Raphael’s nose. ‘If you rub that thing any harder, it’s going to fall off.’

  Loverboy walks out of the bistro, and Raphael runs after him. ‘Please! You’ve got to believe me. That is not my kid.’

  With our mission accomplished, Kali, Syd, and I quickly gather our props.

  ‘What’s all the commotion?’ a deep voice asks. ‘We’re trying to rehearse.’

  It’s Lady Luck, the drag queen we met outside while we were putting up posters of Miss Daisy. He’s stepped through a thick red velvet curtain that separates the bistro from the nightclub behind.

  ‘You,’ Lady Luck says, pointing at us with an empty cigarette holder. ‘You girls gave me a bum steer on that Charger. It absolutely reeked.’ He approaches the table. ‘I covered your butts once, but I am done with the charity work. What are you selling now?’

  ‘Nothing,’ Kali says, stuffing the photos back into her purse. To the guys at the table she adds, ‘I tried to sell Raphael’s car out from under him. I know it was wrong, but I was desperate.’

  One of the guys reaches out and takes her hand. ‘It’s OK, sweetie.’

  Kali squeezes his hand. ‘It was for the baby. A mom does what she has to do.’

  The guy reaches for his wallet and takes out twenty bucks. ‘Here.’

  ‘No, I couldn’t,’ Kali says, backing away. ‘Thank you so much, though.’

  The customer insists, and Kali takes the money just to make a break for it.

  ‘Arnie,’ Lady Luck bellows. ‘We’ve got panhandlers in here again.’

  Six-feet-six in platform heels, Arnie charges out of the back room, his wig askew.

  That’s when we run like we’ve never run before.

  Since it’s the warmest January that Austin has seen in ten years, we hold our last meeting of the month at Café Mozart, sitting outside at the picnic tables.

  ‘Dylan’s going to be so disappointed we’re missing the rehearsal this week,’ I say, tilting my face toward the sun.

  He could not have been more thrilled with our slam on Raphael. The cheater actually had the nerve to go running back to Dylan after Loverboy dumped him. This time, however, Dylan stood firm. If only Hollis would be as strong.

  ‘I’ll miss it too,’ Kali says. ‘I would have liked to do the show.’

  If all goes as planned, we won’t need to attend more rehearsals. This week we’ll be going to group, on time and in full force.

  ‘Speaking of happy customers, did you guys see the paper? Lily and Jason won their skating competition,’ I say, spooning the whipped cream from my hot chocolate into my mouth. ‘That kiss in the photo sure didn’t look professional.’

  ‘I knew they were a good match,’ Kali says, booting up her laptop. ‘Stacey and Graham are still together too. And Trisha has had her second date with one of my match recruits from the mall, and a third is in the works. I still haven’t found anyone for Luke, but I’m thinking Z’s old friend Morgan might be a possibility.’

  Syd bites into her almond croissant and says, ‘Madison and Rambo have hit it off, too.’

  ‘Speaking of Madison,’ Kali says, ‘there’s been something I’ve wanted to run past you.’ She clicks her mouse a few times and turns her laptop toward Syd.

  ‘Compatibility file,’ Syd reads, ‘for Max Simpson and … Oh, no you don’t.’ She pushes the computer back to Kali. ‘You want to set me up with Madison’s brother?’

  ‘Actually, Max wants me to set you up with him,’ Kali says. ‘I’m just the go-between.’

  Syd shakes her head. ‘I’m done with guys. In case you missed it, I got burnt this year. I might be out of intensive care, but I’m still in re
covery.’

  ‘According to early projections,’ Kali continues as if Syd hasn’t spoken, ‘you and Max are sitting at eighty-four percent compatibility.’ She spins the laptop toward Syd again. ‘Look how cute he is. Plus, he’s a dog lover and he wears vintage and he loves roller derby. What could be—’ Kali has to raise her voice above the noise the birds are making in the trees. ‘I’m sorry, did you hear that?’

  Above the familiar squawk of grackles, there’s a screechy chatter.

  Kali is the first one out of her seat, and we follow her across the deck.

  ‘There!’ Syd points to a clump of twigs at the bottom of a telephone pole just beyond the noisy tree.

  I stare at the clump and see a flash of bright green. Another flash follows, and two Quaker parrots hop out of a hole and onto the telephone wire.

  ‘There’s more!’ Kali points to three birds hopping around a second nest, on the next telephone pole. They fly over to join the first three on the wire.

  ‘We found the wild parrots,’ Kali says, her eyes sparkling with wonder.

  ‘Actually, they found us,’ I say, taking a picture with my phone.

  ‘It’s a sign,’ Kali says.

  Syd hooks one arm over Kali’s shoulder and the other over mine. ‘It’s closure,’ she says, smiling. ‘Hand me the discharge papers.’

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ‘Are you sure he didn’t hear us?’ I ask Syd and Kali, who are sitting on either side of me in the backseat of the car. ‘It looked like he might have been loitering.’

  After group this afternoon, we hung back in the basement until the rehearsal ended so we wouldn’t risk bumping into Addison. We ended up talking through some of the details of our plan for tonight’s dance-party slam. When I got up to go to the bathroom, Dieter was at the end of the hall.

  ‘Eavesdropping isn’t Dieter’s style,’ Kali says. ‘Confrontation is. And I haven’t had any text messages. My mom would be on me so fast if he’d called.’

  ‘But we can’t get reception out here,’ I say, peering out the window into the darkness of the hill country.

  ‘If Dieter had heard us, we’d be swabbing dirty tarps right now,’ Syd says.

  ‘I guess. I just have a bad feeling about this,’ I say.

  A voice from the front seat says, ‘Quit your whining or my fee doubles.’

  It’s Brody, riding shotgun beside Luke.

  Kali whacks her brother in the back of the head with a map. ‘We’re paying you to keep quiet.’

  Actually, we’re paying for a ride. Glennis’s car is in the shop, so Brody enlisted Luke to take us to the party. Having male backup makes me feel better about heading into a remote field in the middle of the night – even if I can’t get along with one of the guys, and Kali can’t get along with the other.

  ‘There!’ The headlamps illuminate the road in front of us, and Syd points out an orange rag tied to a tree. ‘The last marker.’

  Luke steers the car off Ranch Street onto a bumpy dirt road that winds around the back of Enchanted Rock State Park. ‘I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. If I wreck the suspension on the car, my dad will kill me.’

  Kali grabs Luke’s shoulder belt and jerks hard. ‘You agreed to take this job.’

  ‘I’m merely expressing concern for my dad’s property. Thanks to you setting me up with that loose cannon I took to my cousin’s wedding, I’m in enough trouble with my family already.’

  Kali flops back in her seat and snorts. ‘Brody, could you change the CD? This one is stuck.’

  By the time we find a place to park and follow the noise to a clearing, a crowd has already gathered. On the far side of the open space is a huge pickup truck with a long, low platform hitched to it. Behind this makeshift stage, two white cube trucks are parked lengthwise. Random images project onto the side of the trucks like movie screens as the screamo band onstage whips the crowd into a frenzy.

  Inside the last cube, a DJ dances among his turntables and computers, pausing every once in a while to feed some new images through the projector that’s hooked up to a laptop. Outside of his truck, a tangle of cables run into the woods beyond, where I assume they connect to generators. There are torches and twinkle lights, but the full moon overhead is bright enough to light the clearing all on its own.

  ‘This is so cool,’ Kali says, twirling to take it all in. ‘There must be at least five hundred people here.’

  ‘We’ll have to divide and conquer,’ Syd says, taking charge. She hands a walkie-talkie to Kali and another to me. ‘Brody, you stick with Zahra, and Luke you’re with Kali. I’ll be fine on my own.’

  Kali and I glare at her, but neither of us wants to give the guys the satisfaction of complaining. This is business. We can get along for a couple of hours.

  Tuning in to channel three, I hear Syd’s voice come over my radio. ‘Test, test.’

  Syd is the model of efficiency as she outlines the rest of the plan. Brody and I are to cover the stage and DJ area, while Kali and Luke cover the dance floor. Syd will scope out the perimeter, ready to rush in with the video camera when someone locates Addison.

  We split up, and Brody leads the way to the stage. ‘How come Ri-ass couldn’t come along to serve and protect tonight?’ he asks. ‘Did he need to rest his delicate pre-premed hands?’

  ‘Riaz got traded,’ I say, peering around for Addison. ‘Not that it’s any of your business.’

  Brody raises his eyebrows. ‘I didn’t realise there was a new player in town. What’s his name?’

  ‘Doesn’t matter,’ I say. ‘He’s history too.’

  The smug smile is back. ‘Don’t tell me perfect Zahra got caught double-dipping?’

  ‘No,’ I say. ‘Unlike you and your model friend, Juliette, I don’t need the thrill of deception.’ It still bugs me that Brody would fool around with a girl he knows is taken. He should be better than that; he’s Kali’s brother.

  ‘You really think you’ve got me pegged, don’t you?’ Brody’s green eyes flash with anger.

  ‘Whatever.’ I have to shout the word because we’re close to the stage now and the music is deafening. The lead singer is screeching into the microphone.

  Brody circles around in front of me so that I can’t ignore him. ‘All I did was take Juliette’s picture for her portfolio. She hit me up at a football game when I was photographing her boyfriend. I had Mom’s camera, so she thought I was a pro.’

  ‘She hit on you too. I saw you in the trailer, remember?’

  ‘Yeah, and you just assumed I’d go for it, because you’re expecting the worst from me.’

  The news that Brody isn’t with Juliette ignites fireworks inside. I realise now that he’s a good guy that came into my life at a bad time, right after I found out about Eric. From the moment Brody offered me that carton of chocolate milk, all cute and cocky, I transferred my anger about guys onto him and haven’t been able to let it go. It was stupid. Hating him has wasted a lot of energy.

  I send out a peace offering. ‘Ben’s glad to have her back anyway.’

  Brody accepts it. ‘He’s a control freak. They’ll never make it.’

  ‘They’ll make it,’ I shout. ‘I know more about relationships than you do.’

  ‘Ya think?’

  ‘I’ve studied enough of them,’ I say, smiling. ‘I’m practically an expert.’

  ‘In theory.’

  ‘For now,’ I say. ‘One of these days I’ll be applying everything I know.’

  ‘Lord help the guy,’ Brody says. But he takes my hand and leads me through the crowd to the front of the stage, where I finally spot Addison dancing with some girlfriends. She’s barely recognizable in a short suede skirt, fishnet stockings, and a sequined halter top under a fake-fur bomber jacket.

  Seeing me, Addison breaks away from her friends and comes over. Her hair is flowing around her shoulders, and when she gets close enough, I notice she’s wearing fake lashes and heavy eyeliner. Leaning over, she yells into my ear: ‘Is this yo
ur boyfriend?’

  I shake my head and grin. ‘We just met.’

  ‘You work fast.’ Checking Brody out, she says, ‘Nice.’

  ‘Thanks. So where’s Viper?’

  Addison points to the lead singer, who’s licking the microphone with his pierced tongue. Despite the chill in the air, he’s in a short-sleeved T-shirt that reveals two large snake tattoos that wind around each arm. His dirty blond hair is swept forward from the crown in an emo-type shag.

  Addison waves at Viper, and I notice a pretty ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. When I comment on it, she takes it off and slips it into her pocket.

  ‘That’s my promise ring from Willem,’ she says. ‘I think he’s going to replace it with his grandmother’s diamond on Valentine’s Day.’

  ‘You’re going to marry Willem?’ I ask, fighting to strip the judgment out of my voice.

  ‘Sure, eventually,’ she says, shrugging. ‘Our families expect it. With our combined connections, we’ll practically rule the state.’

  ‘But you love him, right?’

  ‘Willem’s a great guy, we look good together, and he treats me like a princess,’ she says. ‘There’s no spark, but that doesn’t really matter.’ She sighs, and then grins. ‘Because Vipers aren’t that hard to find.’

  If I had doubts about bringing this girl down, I don’t anymore.

  After inviting us to hang with Viper and her in the parking area after the set, Addison goes back to dancing with her friends.

  Brody and I circle behind the stage, where it’s a little quieter, and I walkie the others to let them know we’ve found Addison. Syd joins us almost immediately, followed a few minutes later by Kali and Luke, both of whom are carrying bulging plastic garbage bags. ‘Recycling,’ Kali explains. ‘You wouldn’t believe the number of people who put water bottles in the trash.’

  ‘We’re going to talk to the organizers about providing water stations for the next event,’ Luke says.

  ‘By the way, we bumped into Max,’ Kali says to Syd, while Brody helps Luke take the recycling to the car. ‘Madison’s brother.’