The Good Guys Chronicles Box Set

by Eric Ugland

  Trees.

  As far as I could see, there were trees. Well, the tops of trees. It was as if all the trees ended at the same level. So, in a sense, it was like looking at a giant sea of green. And there were all different types of trees — pines, oaks, palms — all right up next to each other. The wind whipped along the treetops. I had the feeling the storms that came through this hole in the mountains were unbelievably intense.

  The Legion had formed up in a bristling square of spears, holding the center. All the rest of us were divided on either side, waiting. The wall ran the whole length, from mountain to mountain. It was probably half a mile long. There were a lot of us ready to take on whatever was coming up.

  The thing was, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to see more of the trees, so I kept walking, right up until the edge. Then, I looked over.

  I was expecting to see some distance. Maybe a hundred or two hundred feet. But when I looked down, I only saw darkness below. It was so far down I could barely make out the ground. Five or six hundred feet at least, and sloping down. The trees were absolutely ginormous. Six hundred feet tall, maybe a hundred feet round at the base. Maybe more.

  And, you know, just to make it double trouble, a giant thing was crawling up the wall. It was big. Three hundred plus feet long with a wide spade-shaped head, rather flat, with a mouth filled with rows of teeth. Kind of like a shark’s, where its teeth go all the way down the throat. It had six legs I could see, and a bundle of tentacles coming out of its butt, like it had a ton of tails. Smaller things crawled all around it, and my guess was that these creatures only looked small because they were next to such a monstrous beast.

  I fired off my identification spell.

  Ebony Gut Beast

  Lvl 12

  A Gut Beast. Of the Ebony Variety. And only level 12. No problem.

  I fired off another spell, this time targeting one of the little things.

  Ivory Gut Beast

  Lvl 11 Beast

  Uh.

  I focused on the big motherfucker again, really trying to make sure there wasn’t one of the little thingies, the gut beasts, in the way.

  Mammoth Gothferox

  Lvl ??? Beast

  Better.

  Mammoth Gothferox. Sounded like a pushover.

  Its great mouth opened and it let loose a mighty yell. The sheer wind alone knocked me back on my butt.

  Which, you know, silver lining, meant that when the Gothferox came over the edge, I wasn’t right there to get eaten.

  It did mean I had to scramble out of the way as the Legion charged, pikes all ready to stab at the beast. The gut beasts, meanwhile, swarmed off the Gothferox, charging and snarling at anything they could get their teeth around.

  They were almost ant-like, with eight legs attached to the middle of their three segments, long antennae coming off the tops of their heads, and no eyes that I could see. Chitin covered their bodies like armor. They had claws on two of their front legs, and what seemed like sticky pads on the rest, because they were able to climb on any surface. Jagged mandibles came out of their spherical heads, and there was some sort of stinger coming out their end. Not one thing about the gut beasts looked appealing, and a fetid odor wafted off them in horrid waves.

  Being that I was on my butt, I must have looked like an easy target. One of the Gut Beasts came at me, leaping so it landed with its legs on either side of me. Its mandibles stretched wide in front of a hole of a mouth, saliva dripping down like some vile ooze.

  Smart man I that was, I had no weapon ready. I’d thought I’d have time to arm up because I had the magic bag. That I could wait and see what we were facing before I chose a weapon.

  The mandibles came down at me, ready to rip my head straight off, and I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed a mandible in each hand, and tore them apart.

  I strained for a moment, but it really wasn’t as hard as I expected. I was stronger than this asshole. Instead of holding the mandibles in place, I started to push. Immediately, they hit their organic stops, the chitin armor around the gut beast’s head. The creature realized it was in trouble and started to pull away.

  “Not yet, buddy,” I said, and I flexed fully, putting all the muscle I had into the task of tearing apart the gut beast. With a sharp crack, the armored head snapped open. The mandibles ripped out of their joints and came off in my hands.

  A torrent of slime — I’m guessing it was whatever served as blood for the gut beast — poured out of the ruined head of the creature. It started going a bit crazy, running around at random before crashing into its brethren and finally careening off the cliff.

  Meanwhile, I was left holding two mandibles, one in each hand. Each one was about two feet long, pointy at one end and full of serrations along either edge.

  Gut Beast Mandible

  Item Type: Improvised

  Item Class: One-handed Melee, Two-handed Melee

  Material: Chitin

  Damage: 10-20 (Slashing)

  Durability: 20/20

  Weight: 4.8 lbs

  Requirements: Str 8

  Description: Normally used in a pincer motion by the creature, you can do what you like with them. Good luck!

  The next gut beast was already charging me, but I had just enough time to get my bearings. He head-butted my stomach, and I slammed both mandibles straight down, plunging them through the gut beast’s head. It seemed to do the trick, as its legs stopped moving, and the body dropped to the ground, sliding along the rock.

  I enjoyed the quick ride on the back of the dead creature, which got me a little distance from the battle. I stepped off the creature, slid my bag around to my front, and pulled out the big battle axe. Old Standby.

  I looked over at the rest of the battle. The Legion had a technique for dealing with the gothferox: they’d do a bunch of poking, then split to the sides as the gothferox slammed its body down on the stone, teeth gnashing and spittle flying about. Then, as the gothferox attempted to pull itself fully onto the battlement, the Legion would charge as a phalanx, spears bristling out front, sinking the barbed points into the gothferox’s head. The behemoth would rear back, getting away from the spears but taking quite a few with him. The Legion would follow, keeping the pressure on. The next time the gothferox would try to bring his body down on the annoying pokers, the Legion would flow out to the sides, and a fresh phalanx would be ready to charge. At regular intervals, huge bolts flew from ballista, hammering into the creature with resonant thuds. It was ingenious, really. The rest of us yokels were tasked with keeping the gut beasts from interfering with the Legion.

  Cleeve stood at the back, sword out and ready to fight, but seemingly happy to remain in reserve. Ragnar and Skeld stood on either side of him, spears at the ready, protecting my new old man. Nikolai, meanwhile, carved a swath of slaughter through the gut beasts, their carcasses providing a bloody map of his movements.

  Far to the left, hugging the stairwell and definitely not getting into the mix, were the soldiers who’d been trying to arrest Cleeve. Their help was the absolute minimum.

  I twirled the axe, and then got to work.

  It was much easier facing off against the gut beasts than most of the other opponents I’d encountered. They were simple-minded, charging at the first thing they saw. A simple side-step and a chop, and their head would come off. Not for everyone, sure, but for those of us who had the strength to do it, it was almost like splitting wood.

  Sidestep, chop, reset, repeat.

  Over and over again, I swung the axe and killed, green blood forming puddles, then pools, then finally falling over the side in a disgusting river. Their bodies became vile obstacles to me and my attackers.

  But they kept coming, so I kept fighting. Others took breaks, stepping back behind shield walls or running down the stairs to get a moment’s reprieve. Even Nikolai went to stand with Cleeve and the boys. Not me, though. I soldiered on. I used that damn earned ability, and I made sure everyone there knew I could fight as long a
s there was need.

  There was a great and piteous sound as the gothferox fell to the ground, dead, its last spasms throwing off scores of gut beasts into the depths below.

  The remaining gut beasts were quickly dispatched with, though a few managed to beat a hasty retreat, climbing down the cliff face as easily as they had run on the land.

  I stood there, heart hammering, but feeling good. Like I could go for another twelve hours or so. I couldn’t really see much of anything towards the city, as there were gut beast corpses piled high all around me. It was open in the other direction though, so I walked to the edge and looked out over the Emerald Sea. It was stunning. Truly, I’d never seen anything like it. To be standing level with the tops of trees reaching out as far as I could see. I could see movement here and there. Maybe from the wind, maybe from some other behemoth down below.

  A chime rang out in my head, and a notification popped up, one of those thingies that couldn’t easily be ignored.

  Congratulations. Participating in the defense of Osterstadt has risen your standing in the city’s eyes. You are now considered ‘indifferent’ to the citizens as a whole. In addition, you have been rewarded 1250 XP for your actions, as well as any loot you are able to secure from the corpses. Go to.

  I kind of felt like I’d done more work than that, but when I peeked at some of the other notifications, I saw I’d been rewarded XP for my individual gut beast slayings. Fair dinkum, as my Australian circus friends would say.

  Off to one side, water poured out of a channel in the wall. I hadn’t noticed a river running through the city. Maybe the whole thing had been paved over in some capacity.

  A bell rang out behind me. On the other side of the waterfall, there were cranes dropping elevators down to the ground, while others were lifting things up. Huge pieces of trees were brought up, and the lumberjacks returned to work.

  Osterstadt was logging the Emerald Sea.

  Chapter 97

  “You fight well,” came a thick voice as a hand clapped me on the shoulder.

  I kept axe in hand as I turned to see who was speaking.

  A muscular man with a large but neat mustache stood there with a smile on his face. He wore the Legion uniform, but had the flashy helm denoting him as an officer or something important like that.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “New to the city, are you?”

  “I am.”

  He tapped his temple. “Got a mind for faces. Have yet to catch yours around,” he said, extending his hand. “Lieutenant Darby Abington at your service.”

  I clasped wrists with the man. “Montana Coggeshall.”

  “Coggeshall? Any relation to Benedict Coggeshall?”

  “Yeah, actually,” I said, still feeling a bit weird about the whole adoption thing. “Technically, he’s my father now.”

  Darby blinked, a bit shocked, and looked me up and down. “Never in a million years would I have guessed that. Tell me, is he in Osterstadt?”

  “He’s right over there,” I said, pointing towards where he’d been last.

  “Capital,” Darby said, and dashed off.

  I looked back out to sea, and watched a ripple heading towards Osterstadt, wondering if another Gothferox was on the way.

  “Mind if’n I loot these?” came a small voice behind me.

  Again, I turned to see who’d snuck up on me. A deadly foe this time: a small boy.

  “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I asked.

  “You caught me tryin’ to cut your purse.”

  “Awesome. Yeah, sure, loot away. Just give me half.”

  The kid smiled big. He whipped out a small knife and hopped to work. He jammed the knife into a wound, and used it to half-cut, half-pry the chitin apart. He stacked the pieces next to himself, and when he had access to the inside, he reached his hand in and fished around for a moment.

  It was nasty work, but he came out with a handful of stones. He peered at them, a huge smile spreading across his face, and held them out to me. They were covered in blood, so I couldn’t tell what I was looking at, beyond rocks.

  “What are they?” I asked.

  “We call ‘em magic beans,” the boy replied. “Use ‘em for enchanting things, so the Magicians Circle pays us for ‘em. Gut beasts always have some in them.”

  “Wait, really?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay then,” I said, “let’s loot!”

  I started pulling the bodies down, chopping big rents into their abdomens. The boy followed behind and did the dirty work of reaching in and extracting the magic beans. We pushed the remains behind us, working towards the city. By himself, it’d taken nearly five minutes to get the first creature looted. With me, we were down to a minute.

  As the piles of bodies lessened, I could see that virtually everyone was busy looting. Or scavenging. There were definitely plenty of people coming and taking the various fleshy bits of the gut beasts and putting them on carts. I had a sneaking suspicion there’d be plenty of Gut Beast Stew on menus in no time. I sincerely hoped it tasted better than it smelled.

  The gothferox was surrounded by the Legion and it was being pulled apart by men in uniform. To the victor, it would appear, go the spoils.

  Cleeve was surrounded by Legionnaires, all happily talking to him. Nikolai and the Lutra stood nearby. I noticed the arresting soldiers were busy trying to get through the crowds, heading towards my father.

  There was definitely another fight about to break out.

  I took a moment for one last glance out at the Emerald Sea. The ripple I’d been watching was gone.

  “Done,” the kid said, standing proudly over the last corpse around me. He held out both hands, nearly overflowing with the little stones. Or magic beans. “Yours.”

  I opened up a small pouch, and let the kid pour them in, then dropped it into the bag of holding, and made a mental note to learn me some enchanting.

  “Thanks, kid,” I said.

  “What about the armor?” he asked.

  “The chitin?” I asked.

  The kid looked confused.

  “The stuff on the outside of the gut beasts?” I asked.

  “Yes, their armor.”

  “All yours, kid.”

  He smiled, and darted off.

  I walked over to Cleeve, getting there just as Cape Two and the rest of his assholes arrived.

  “Benedict Coggeshall,” Godfrey Duhamel said, looking quite splendid in his cape, notably untouched by any of the gore around, “you are under arrest.”

  Chapter 98

  The Legion turned almost at once, and there was a face-off.

  “On what grounds?” Cleeve asked.

  “You want to do this in again? After I already explained everything you?” Godfrey replied.

  “I do. I would like to hear you explain it here, in the public forum.”

  Godfrey frowned and looked at all the people watching him. He wasn’t prepared to do this out in the open.

  “The Emperor has questions for you,” Godfrey said.

  “No, he does not,” Cleeve responded. “I can assure I am currently engaged on a mission directly from the Emperor. Should I guess that your orders came from the Emperor’s brother?”

  “While the Emperor is convalescing, his brother is in charge.”

  “That is not how the Empire works, Godfrey—”

  “Do not take a familiar tone with me, Coggeshall. Just because you were once with the Legion, you are no longer. Now you are a mere citizen. I will have you know that I—”

  “Hey,” I shouted, but a single glare from Cleeve stopped me. I was going to point out that Cleeve was a duke, but apparently that wasn’t something Cleeve wanted to make public just yet.

  “I may be but a citizen,” Cleeve replied, “but as a citizen, I am afforded certain rights, and undue arrest is one of those. I have committed no crimes, and if the Emperor, or his brother, wish to speak to me, they would need to go through the proper channels. Which, in the Imper
ial City of Osterstadt, is the Viceroy. So if you would kindly retrieve Léon Glaton for me, and have him tell me I am to surrender myself to you in order that I may be questioned by Valamir in his attempt to snake the crown out from under his brother, I will do so.”

  “Slander!” seethed Godfrey. Cries of outrage came from his men. “Slandering the crown is an offense punishable by arrest. I demand you surrender yourself to me at once.”

  “Demand away.”

  Godfrey’s face turned red as impotent rage swarmed over him.

  “It remains that this great city is under the power of the Viceroy, so it matters little what you demand.”

  Godfrey ripped his sword out from his scabbard, which caused the rest of his men to pull out their weapons.

  The Legion, in return, formed ranks. They slammed their shields to the ground, putting up a wall between Cleeve and Godfrey.

  “I believe,” said the lieutenant, “we will wait for the Viceroy to adjudicate the matter.”

  “We all know that dandy is too busy chasing around the footmen in the Imperial House to do anything—”

  “Yo,” I shouted. “Stop maligning a good man and shut your cowardly damn mouth!”

  All eyes turned towards me, and Godfrey’s eyes bulged with rage as he saw me.

  “You dare speak to me like that? You a—”

  “Not only do I dare,” I said, pushing through the crowd, “I relish the opportunity to put a jackbooted prima donna masquerading at being a soldier in his place. Which, judging from what we saw here, is hiding behind a bunch of real soldiers.”

  He opened his mouth a time or two as his face achieved a whole new level of red, somewhere in the neighborhood of vermillion. Veins all over his neck and face looked in real danger of bursting.

  “For this, I will have your head!” he shouted, spittle flying out of his mouth. “If only I could challenge you to a duel. Instead, you will suffer in the dungeons!”