by Anna Scott
By the time I put her down, everyone had walked up, and Gavin handed me my keys. We spoke for a moment and decided to do a quick perimeter search, just to make sure he wasn't still close by.
I was the one with the best instincts on the team, though Gavin was a close second. That was a good thing because right then, I was a mess and I had no way of knowing if my emotions would get in the way.
Luke examined all the doors and windows, taking a few fingerprints. Since my father's were in the system, it would be easy to figure out if he touched anything more than the doorbell. Gavin and I circled the house, in opposite directions and Reed walked the surrounding sidewalks, looking for anything that stood out.
Amber and Reed talked for a few minutes from the front yard, when her neighbor from across the street came out to see what was going on. Tom Clemmons was a guy I remembered meeting before. I knew that he and Amber had never dated, but I had a feeling that he would jump right in if she ever gave him the nod.
With Tom talking to Amber, I had to work hard to maintain my focus. I knew that she loved me, but with my emotions, so raw, all I wanted was to keep her safe, tucked to my side.
Be it good or bad, no one found anything out of place, nothing odd, nothing indicating that my father had been anywhere near Amber's house.
"We need to get a system up, let me see if Jake can help tomorrow morning," Reed suggested as he pulled his phone from his pocket.
Gavin eyed me, worry creasing the skin around his eyes, and I knew why. He was the only one here who knew the entire story about my father. He was the only one I'd ever confessed my greatest regrets to, and I was sure that he could read me well enough now to see how truly worried I was.
Reed had walked away and was in deep conversation with Jake since he was the best one of us with the electronic surveillance equipment. Any one of us could have installed a good alarm system, but Jake's ability to put up almost imperceptible cameras that would capture every angle was just what I needed here.
I didn't know why my father was coming around. I'd be sure to call him later if just to tell him to stay the fuck away from my girl. I wouldn't trust him enough to head my warning. I'd never underestimate him again.
"Nat's place?" Gavin asked, nodding, I confirmed that her place was secure, as was Mom's. After the break-in last week, I'd beefed up both systems with Jake's help, and felt confident that they would both be okay.
If dear-old-dad were coming around for the reasons I thought he was, he would come looking for me, not for either of them anyway. I considered that Amber would be safer at my condo, the security there was impeccable. The only downside was that her drive into work would be doubled, and her crazy-as-hell cat wouldn't be happy there without a yard.
Once all was cleared, the guys said their goodbyes and each gave Amber a hug on their way out. She was - as always - gracious and appreciative. Even in yoga pants and a tank, which hugged her ripe tits in ways that made me fight my dick constantly, she behaved as if she were dressed beautifully and ready to entertain.
Amber had been so well trained by her mother, that she could have easily been some stuffy politician's wife. Thank god that shit wouldn't be happening. I would just be sure to buy a house with a big-ass yard, and we could throw drunken bar-b-ques all summer, and she could be sweet to everyone there.
I knew my darling girl loved to let her hair down, and no matter how she'd been trained, she liked to let loose and have fun. That was the life I wanted to give her - fun, not uptight with a bunch of pompous pricks like some of her parent's friends.
The funny thing was, due to my upbringing, I knew some of the people her parents socialized with. I had met them before the nightmare of our faux-perfect life came crashing down. They were nothing like the sweet, soft hearted, beautiful woman I loved.
I couldn't believe that now, in the face of everything, Amber was so giving, so welcoming, so kind and friendly with everyone around her. The light that shone from her eyes, the gracious love that poured from her with every movement made me fall deeper in love with her, all over again.
I explained the plan for the morning, and after some minimal protests, she agreed. She did tell me three times that she thought I was over-reacting. I hadn't ever shared the full picture of what had happened that night. Not what my father had done, what he was capable of, nor of all the previous times where he showed his true colors, his true person. I hadn't shared with her about Dylan's death and the guilt I still carried, Nolan's death, the men we'd lost at work a few years ago, or all the men I served with and the responsibility I felt for them all.
So many times after the fact, I could see things more clearly. I would discern the moment, the tell, the key, the exact thing that should have stood out. That one thing I should have noticed that may have saved them.
I felt the same way about Amber's pregnancy. Why hadn't I picked up on the signs that she was pregnant? Why hadn't I realized, if I had gotten her to the doctor sooner, if we had realized, if I paid attention, maybe I'd be holding my little girl or boy right now. Maybe his mother and I would be married, we could be happy. Maybe we would have never gone through the pain of separation, the grief, the heartbreak. Maybe Amber wouldn't have fallen into such a bleak despair. There were so many things I should have done that I didn't. In my life, I failed so many people, and there was no way I would miss another sign of trouble. I would protect Amber this time. I was never going to let anything hurt her again.
"I love you more than anything, you know that, right?"
Amber's puzzled eyes met mine, and I could see that she was trying to understand where my mind was. She was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with me. Her smile was small, but when she reached around and squeezed me, it was all she needed to say.
"Fuck," I screeched as something small and white bit into my calf. Jumping back, away from Amber, I looked behind me to find Snowball glaring up at me from his position beside the couch.
Amber giggled, then picked up the cat and scolded him - sort of - then locked him in the guest room. "Don't worry, honey, he's on a time-out. You're safe for a little while." She assured, like that would help my pride.
"Why does he bite me?" I never understood why he bit me or pounce on me. I was the one to rescue him after all. The strange thing was, he didn't do it all the time. He was protective of her, and most often if she was upset, he'd attack.
Shrugging her shoulders, a soft smile on her contented face, she moved back into my arms and allowed me to wrap myself around her. Holding onto her was about the only thing I had to keep me grounded at that moment. I loved her, absolutely, needed her and having her safe in my arms gave me the reassurance I was so desperate for.
After a while, I called my mom and my sister, giving them both the warning that Dad had been by Amber's house and to stay on the lookout. It had only taken about three minutes for my mother to become irritated with me for not bringing Amber around to meet her already. The entire thing with my father had been swept under the rug, as Mom had a habit of doing. She focused in on what she really wanted. After promising that we would meet up with her the following weekend, I was able to get off the phone, only to enjoy hearing Amber's laughter at my predicament.
The melodic sound of her amusement had to be one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard in my life. The smile that spread over me was wide, true and unexpected on such a crazy night.
As we fell into bed a few hours later, I thought about everything we had been through together already. I tried to focus on where we were now. As I felt the weight of this amazing woman cradled in my arms, soft, loving and relaxed, I reveled in the simplicity of loving her. We were naked, completely open and vulnerable to each other, languid and just where I wanted to be - forever.
"Will you tell me about him sometime?" Amber asked sleepily.
Opening my eyes, having been on the brink of sleep, I kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer into me. "Of course, sweetness, but not tonight, okay?"
&nbs
p; "Not tonight, I want to sleep, but soon."
"Soon," I promised and held her safe as we drifted.
~~~
"Trent, I fucked up the code again," Amber yelled into the phone, the alarm blaring in the background. She hated the new system and complained that I made the codes too complicated. She was one of the brightest people I had ever met, but this alarm system was not her thing. I had already called Jake and asked him to give her a key fob that would work for it. My concern was that she wouldn't use it all the time if she found it too much of a pain in the ass, which would leave her vulnerable to the machinations of sick old men.
After talking to Natalie again on Thursday, she let it slip that there might have been even more that my father had done to her than she admitted to me previously. She quickly covered it up and changed the subject, but with my training and background, I caught the hints of what she wasn't telling me and it honestly scared the living shit out of me.
Nat sounded concerned for Amber, worried that if my father didn't get whatever it was that he was looking for, that he would take his anger out on her. I asked her what she meant, but in classic Natalie fashion, she deflected.
"Settle down baby, just take a breath." I did my best to calm her, knowing that if she were rattled, she'd never get the combination correct. I also whispered to Gavin to call local dispatch and let them know not to send anyone out. I reminded her of the code to clear the system, then the code to disarm it. She had the code correct all along, she was just pushing enter, instead of the A button first.
"Oh, thank God." Blessedly, the horrid noise ceased.
"You want to grab dinner with everyone later?"
"Yeah, sounds good, what time?"
I gave her the particulars and disconnected the call. It was the first time we would be going out as a couple with our entire group. Honestly, I was a little nervous, and I had a feeling that Amber would be too. I knew that she and Dawn had talked a lot the week Aurora and Luke were on their honeymoon and that she and Aurora had talked since. As far as I knew, no one else had asked any questions. Everyone knew, of course, because there were no secrets in this group, but they hadn't seen us as a couple, not truly and I didn't want any of my idiot friends to say something that would hurt her.
I knew they would, they wouldn't mean any harm, of course, but Amber was still so fragile. I worried about her constantly that she would relapse into that horrible depression, that she'd fall into the deep blackness that I hadn't been able to pull her from. She'd shut me out completely, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't lose her, not again, not ever again.
Whatever I needed to do to keep Amber with me, I would do, no question, no doubt, I loved that girl, and I wanted her with me, even if I was a hypocrite and treated her like spun glass, much like her parents did. I hated that about them, how they babied her, but they belittled her too. That was one thing I wouldn't ever do. I had no doubts that Amber could do anything, everything she wanted, and whatever that was, I'd support her.
~~~
"You ready?"
"Almost, let me get my shoes on."
Tossing my keys onto the side table, I emptied my pockets, washed up in the kitchen sink, then walked into the bedroom to switch shirts. In under five minutes, I was ready to walk out the door, and Amber hadn't emerged from the closet yet.
Her shoe collection had caused her to be late many times. She had at least three pairs of shoes for each of her favorite outfits. Her feet were small and delicate, whatever shoes she put on would be hot on her. Usually, they just made me want to fuck her on the spot. That was true of her hi-top Converse or the six-inch stilettos. It made no difference to me.
"Honey, I was thinking, I want to do something big for your birthday next month, do you have any restrictions?"
Looking at her as she finally came to me to offer me the kiss I'd been waiting for, just before we moved to leave the house, I was struck once again by her beauty, both external and the immense beauty that encompassed her heart. A smile softened my features just before I laid my lips gently on hers.
"No, baby, just don't let Reed help plan it."
Looking at me quizzically, I could see the wheels turning. Of our group, Reed was the gentlest, the most relaxed, he'd never been wild, not even a little bit.
"He's the only single one left."
A sweet giggle escaped her lips as I set the alarm and locked up the house.
"Truck tonight?"
"Yeah, the car is at my condo."
"When did you go down there?"
I explained that I had driven to my place earlier in the day. I had some bills to pay and other things to deal with. It was a pain in the ass trying to stay with her all the time, but I wasn't pushing her. We'd only been back together for a couple of weeks, I didn't figure marriage and moving in together were in the cards yet.
I received a letter from the law firm that handled my grandfather's estate as well. With my thirtieth birthday looming, the remainder of my trust fund would be released to me soon, which I was sure was why my father was coming around.
The old man was insane if he believed I'd give him two nickels to rub together, let alone whatever it was he wanted. Last time I spoke to him, he had still been under the impression that I would look up to him. I had no idea why he even cared, but he had. I couldn't, wouldn't perpetrate that kind of lie, and I hadn't, not since I was a teenager.
Once my mom and sister were out from under his iron fist, I hadn't needed to pretend anymore. I had been free to be honest with them, with him and with myself. I was free to become the man I wanted to be, to join the Marine Corps like I wanted, instead of staying home, going to college and following my father into business.
"You okay?"
Nodding absentmindedly, I glanced over at Amber and realized that I had been lost in my own world for quite a while, we were already parked at the restaurant.
"We need to talk later, okay?"
A look of concern crossed her face, but she nodded and didn't ask any question.
"You know I love you, right?"
The furrow left her brow, and she leaned over and kissed my lips. It was a chaste kiss, but loving and spoke volumes to me. I knew it was about time I tell her all my sins, my failures, about my past and tonight would be the night.
"Thank fucking God!" Jake bellowed as we reached the table. He was smiling - a strange sight on its own - as Amber and I got settled. I knew the moment when Amber caught sight of Jake's protective hand on Hope's very rounded belly. Her entire body stiffened, and I worried that this might be the thing that would send her spiraling.
How long would I walk on eggshells with her? I knew, somehow, someday, I needed to learn to trust her. I needed to let go of our past, as difficult as that would be, and not worry about every little thing.
"Finally, Trent isn't staring at you with that sad pussy look anymore."
The way Jake leaned over the table and spoke, almost like he was imparting a secret to Amber irritated the shit out of me. The thing was, the asshole didn't know how to whisper. I was sure everyone in the place had heard him.
"What does a sad pussy look like?" Amber asked, with her usual quick wit and spot-on sarcasm.
Jake's stunned face was all I needed. I leaned back in my chair and cracked up. Reed and Luke had both heard too and were filling the interior of the restaurant with their booming laughter. Jake sat stunned and confused, looking at Amber, it was a look I'd seen many times. Very few people excepted the crazy shit that came out of Amber's mouth. She looked innocent, nice and wholesome, and in mixed company, she could speak eloquently, but when it was just us, our group, our age, people she knew, she was fucking nuts.
I knew she was deflecting. Jake could be a confrontational dick, at least he had been before Hope. Amber hated conflict and would just about throw herself in front of a bus to stop it.
Once the group settled, I wrapped my arm around my girl and pulled her into my side. It was a possessive gesture, no d
oubt, but I fucking loved it, and the beaming smile on Amber's face told me she loved it too.
Later that night, I pulled Amber into my arms and cradled her head in one hand, as she laid it on my chest. I stroked over her bent knee with the other preparing myself for what was to come. Holding her, feeling her, soothed me. She helped me feel relaxed and settled. I didn't want to delve into my past, but I had to, and I knew it. I probably should have done it before, but I was afraid to lose her. The irony in that brought a dry chuckle to my chest.
"What is it?"
"I need to tell you about my father - about everything."
Amber nodded, and nestled in closer, placed her delicate hand over my heart and waited patiently for me to cut my soul open and lay it bare before her.
It took almost two hours and three beers to get through all the shit that had happened with my dad. I confessed it all, how he had treated my mom and eventually my sister when I was young. How it changed over the years and all that had gone on that I missed. I even confessed my more recent concerns that Nat had endured even more abuse than I'd ever imagined. One thing I was certain of, was that with Nat so tight-lipped, she wouldn't share unless she wanted to.
I hesitated explaining how my father tried to make me like him by giving me women, money and making almost anything I could have ever wanted available.
She hated my guilt, even tried to convince me that it hadn't been my fault, but I knew that she didn't know everything yet.
"I assume that your father's abuse is why you were so upset about him showing up here. Do you think he would hurt me?"
"No, I doubt it. I can't imagine that he would, but I don't trust him. There's more I need to tell you."
Her raised eyebrow was enough encouragement, I needed to get this shit done.
"My mom was a Harper."
Amber's brows shot up, and I could see the questions starting to form in her head. The Harpers were some of the oldest in the area, and not only did they own Harper Oil, that was still in operation, but had been huge landowners and land developers.
