A Is for Abstinence

by Kelly Oram

  A silent sob hiccuped in her chest. After an agonizing moment that felt like an eternity, she looked up at me through her wet lashes and said, “I’ll stay with you tonight.”

  I froze, certain I’d heard her wrong.

  “We can order takeout, rent a movie On Demand, and stay in tonight…just you and me.” She took a breath. “And I’ll stay the night if you want me to. If you think we can handle it.”

  My mind went blank. When faced with this option, it simply short-circuited.

  I knew I should tell her she didn’t have to do that. I knew she was only offering this because I’d just asked her to give me more. I hadn’t meant staying the night with me, but I wanted it. I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything in my entire life, and I am ultimately a selfish man.

  “Are you sure?” It was the closest thing to an out I could manage.

  She looked nervous and her voice shook a little as she said, “No fooling around?”

  “None,” I promised. “I’ll keep my hands to myself. And, as always, the duct tape rule still applies.”

  She smiled at that, and something that reminded me of determination crept into her eyes. “Then I’ll stay. I want to stay.” She placed her hand on my chest and inhaled a long, deep breath. “I do trust you, Kyle.”

  I took her hands and wrapped them behind my neck. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I promised as I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me. “I couldn’t. I love you too much.”

  “I love you, too,” she whispered, and for the first time since I’d met her, I believed she really did.

  We stood there on the pool deck kissing each other until we realized the sun had gone down and we were cold and wet. I introduced her to my shower and scrounged up a pair of drawstring sweats and a T-shirt for her. Then I went to order some Chinese and tried very hard not to think about the fact that Val was in my shower.

  I had just paid the delivery guy and brought the cartons of takeout into the kitchen when Val appeared. My clothes engulfed her. She was in a pair of navy sweats and my favorite Lakers jersey, and she’d tied her wet hair up in a messy bun. It was the hottest look I’d seen on her yet.

  She saw the smile on my face and blushed as she looked down at herself. “I look ridiculous.”

  I shook my head. “You look sexy.”

  “You always say that.”

  “You always look it. Especially right now.”

  She rolled her eyes and crossed the room to inspect the dinner choices. I slipped my arms around her and grinned. “Feel better?”

  “Much. I smell like a guy now thanks to your body soap, but I’m all clean.”

  I couldn’t resist taking a big whiff. I buried my face in her neck and inhaled deeply, then burst into laughter. “You’re right. You smell like a dude. That’s…weird.”

  “Still, it’s better than saltwater and chlorine, so thank you. Your manly soap was much appreciated.”

  “You are welcome to use my shower anytime. And wear my clothes anytime. Or…not wear them. That would be okay with me, too.”

  Val sighed, but it was playful. “Where do you keep plates? I’ll fix this up for us and find something to watch while you shower.” She snitched a noodle and said, “You have five minutes or I’m eating without you.”

  “Slave driver,” I teased. I heaved my own playful sigh. “As cold as my shower is going to have to be, I won’t need five minutes.”

  She laughed, but I wasn’t joking.

  When I came back five minutes later I found Val sitting sideways on my couch, knees sucked up under her chin, remote in hand. There were two heaping plates of Chinese food and a couple of sodas on the coffee table. “I hope you’re hungry,” she said, gesturing to the plate with twice as much food on it. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I gave you a little of everything.”

  I looked at the mound of food and grinned at her. “It’s a start. Did you find us something to watch?”

  The blush in her cheeks sparked my curiosity. “Don’t hate me,” she said as I sat down beside her, “but I noticed it was on here and I’ve always thought it would be fun to watch this with you.”

  I looked at the screen and groaned internally. “V is for Virgin? Are you serious?”

  She blushed even deeper and bit her lip nervously as she nodded. “Please? Have you seen it?”

  This time I groaned out loud. “They made me the villain and they cast the biggest tool in Hollywood to play me.”

  Val giggled and started the movie without waiting for my official approval. “You kind of were the villain back then,” she said, “and I think the casting was perfect.”

  Right as she said that, the tool in question appeared on-screen. “Brian Oliver?” I asked, insulted despite myself. “You like that guy?”

  Val laughed at the pout on my face. “Hey, I know what he did to you, but he’s a great actor. He did a fantastic job in this movie.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She had to be messing with me. “You’re joking. Do you seriously like him?”

  Her smile faded a little and she shrugged. “It’s hard not to. If it wasn’t for him, you and I might not have had a second chance.”

  My retort died on my lips. How could I argue with that logic? Slowly the corners of my mouth turned up, morphing my pout into a grudging smile. “Good answer.” I looked at my girlfriend, then glanced at the screen again and almost felt grateful to the bastard.

  I let out a sigh. I was now in need of a new archnemesis. “Maybe he’s not so bad,” I admitted.

  Val laughed and leaned over to kiss me before picking up her plate of food. I grabbed mine and found I was actually looking forward to watching this movie with Val. Still, there was one thing I had to put out there. “The guy can’t sing for crap, though. They totally had to dub him over with my track.”

  Val burst into laughter and we finally settled in to eat and watch the movie. We both ate our weight in Chinese and it didn’t take long after that for Val to nod off. It was still pretty early, but we’d both had the longest day ever, and, for once, we were together with absolutely no tension between us.

  Her head drooped to my shoulder and her hand fell away from mine. When I realized she was asleep, I turned off the movie and sat there debating whether I should wake her or not. I knew she’d be more comfortable in bed, but I didn’t know what kind of sleeping arrangements she had in mind. If she was going to lock herself in the guest room, then I’d rather not wake her. I’d sit here all damned night and happily suffer the stiffness tomorrow.

  I laid my head against hers and let my eyes fall shut. I was prepared to hold her all night long, but only lasted about five minutes before I broke down and kissed her. She woke up and instinctively kissed me back, but it took her a few minutes before she really woke up. I had her on her back on the couch before she came fully to her senses and realized she’d fallen asleep. She stopped kissing me and sat up. “Sorry,” I apologized. I flashed her a sheepish smile. “I guess I’ll never be as creepy as a vampire. I tried to watch you sleep, but I apparently don’t have the self-control for it.”

  I knew she was tired when her only response was a small smile. “Sorry,” she said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Spending the day at the beach always drains me.”

  “I think it was all the baby drama that wiped me out.”

  Val chuckled. “We have had a long day.”

  “We have.” I didn’t want to end our night so early, but I could see how exhausted she was. I pushed myself to my feet and held my hand out to her. “Come on. I’ve got a couple spare bedrooms. I’ll let you take your pick, though I recommend the one with the lock on the door, otherwise you might not find yourself alone when you wake up in the morning.”

  I started to tug Val toward the back hallway, but she stopped me. When I turned to her with a questioning look, she smiled at me as if I’d said something adorable. “I don’t have any intention of waking up alone,” she said.

  That was
all the explanation I needed. “You are the best girlfriend ever,” I said, smashing my lips on hers again. Once that was taken care of, I switched course for the master suite and dragged her along at a fast enough pace that she laughed at me.

  I found her a new toothbrush, quickly brushed my own teeth, then went to go pull the covers back on the bed. I normally slept in nothing but my boxers, but I left my pajama pants and T-shirt on for Val’s sake as I climbed into the bed.

  I was suddenly buzzing with energy. I knew all we were going to do was sleep, but my body didn’t care. It was alive with anticipation at just the thought of having her in my bed.

  I took a series of deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. If she had any clue how difficult it was going to be for me to keep my hands off her, she’d run from the house screaming and never trust me again.

  I was busy praying for self-control when Val cleared her throat to get my attention. I looked up and—holy shit!

  Val had raided my closet. She was standing in the doorway to my walk-in wearing nothing but a white dress shirt just like the one Cara had worn in my music video. The outfit had looked great on Cara, but on Val, with those endless legs of hers…I couldn’t breathe.

  Her hands were mostly lost in the long sleeves and the top two buttons were undone. I was sure she was still wearing her bikini bottom, but I was fairly certain she wasn’t wearing the top. She smoothed the front of the dress shirt once, then met my eyes with a slightly vulnerable gaze.

  I swallowed, completely unable to form any kind of words. What the hell was the woman trying to do to me?

  As if she were a succubus, born to seduce men to their ultimate demise, she stalked toward me, never taking her eyes from mine as she came to stand at the foot of my bed.

  “Val,” I whispered hoarsely as I sat up and rested against the headboard. “What are you—”

  All the air left my lungs when she climbed up onto the bed and slowly crawled her way up my legs. I gasped when she came to rest, straddling my lap. She tugged my T-shirt up and pulled it over my head. “This was the fantasy, right?” she asked as her hands fell to my bare chest.

  I pinched my eyes shut and grabbed handfuls of the sheet beneath me, gripping so tightly my fingers burned. “Damn it, Val.” It came out a desperate plea. My entire body was shaking as I battled my restraint.

  Her soft hands clasped my cheeks and I felt her mouth brush over mine. “You’ve been a very good boy this summer, Kyle,” she whispered. “You deserve a little PG-13.”

  She was playing with fire, and she was giving me way too much credit.

  When I didn’t respond, she nudged my lips with hers, forcing them to open. Then she kissed me more deeply than she ever had. As her tongue dipped into my mouth and she plunged her hands deep into my hair, my control snapped. I wrapped my arms around her and fused our bodies together.

  My kisses became frantic and rough. My hands ran the length of her soft, bare thighs and traveled over her hips up under her shirt. They roamed over her back and then came around and brushed the sides of her bare breasts.

  She shuddered and the tiniest whimper escaped her, but she didn’t push me away. She didn’t tell me to stop. She was as overwhelmed as I was, and, heaven help me, I was going to take her.

  “Val,” I begged. “You have to stop.”

  “It’s okay, Kyle,” she gasped, her breath as frantic as my own. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

  “Damn it, Val, I am not okay!”

  Startled, she pulled her face back to look into my eyes, but I quickly brought her mouth back to mine. I pulled her hips hard against me, and she gasped again. I knew I needed to stop, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop. I’d lost all control.

  “I need you,” I growled. It was a warning as much as it was a declaration. “And in about two seconds, I am going to take what I need unless you stop me.”

  She finally snapped out of it and came to her senses. “Okay,” she said and scrambled off my lap.

  She sat quietly—insecurely—with her knees pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them while I tried to get a grip on myself. It took me a long time. I didn’t realize she was upset until she whispered “I’m sorry,” and I heard the hitch in her voice.

  I laid down and pulled her with me. “Don’t be sorry,” I said as I nestled her against me and wrapped my arms around her. “I’m not sorry. You have no idea how much what you just did me means to me.”

  “Still. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more.”

  I kissed her forehead and tangled our fingers together on top of my chest. “This is enough,” I promised. “Tonight was enough. Get some sleep, Val.” She finally relaxed against me and as I squeezed her in another hug, I whispered, “I love you, Virgin Val Jensen.”

  She sniffled and whispered back, “I love you too, Kyle.”

  When I first woke up I thought I’d dreamed it—the pool, Val telling me she loved me, spending the evening relaxing over Chinese and a Lifetime original, having her play out my fantasy until I nearly exploded from desire, and then falling asleep with her in my arms. It was all too good to be true. I was afraid to open my eyes because I didn’t want to find myself in bed alone. But then the bed shifted beside me and I knew it was real.

  The smile was on my face before I opened my eyes. Val had rolled away from me at some point in the night and was curled up in a ball on her side. I scooted over and snuggled against her back, slipping my arm over her waist to pull her tight against me. She mumbled something incoherent as she rolled over and nestled herself against me. She stretched her long legs, tangling them with mine, and fell back into a peaceful sleep.

  Last night I didn’t have the patience to watch her sleep, but now I felt as if I could lie there forever. It was crazy that I could wake up feeling so relaxed and satisfied even though I’d gone to sleep painfully frustrated.

  “Quit smiling so big,” Val said suddenly. “No one should be so perky in the morning. It’s unnatural.” She hadn’t moved, and her eyes were still closed.

  “I’m not smiling,” I lied.

  “You’re smiling so big I can feel it. It’s keeping me awake.”

  I laughed and dropped a kiss on her head. “Have I told you I find it hilarious that you aren’t a morning person?”

  “I find it disappointing that you are one,” Val grumbled. “You’re a rock star. You’re supposed to party all night and sleep all day.”

  “I’m not usually a morning person, but this morning seemed worth waking up for.”

  Val finally picked her head up off my chest and looked at me. She tried to hold a flat expression but couldn’t manage it when I gave her a big, cheesy grin. She smiled and pushed herself up to kiss my cheek. “Good morning.”

  “The best morning of my life.”

  I’d said it jokingly, but when Val laughed I realized it was the truth. It had been so long since I felt so content. Now I was happy—truly happy—for the first time in a very, very long time. Val made me happy.

  “I want this,” I said, squeezing her to me as if holding her tighter would settle the sudden tingling in my chest. “I want to wake up with you like this every morning.”

  “That is definitely not a good idea.” Val laughed. “A little temptation every now and then is one thing, but we wouldn’t last a week if we did this every day. Kyle, we almost didn’t last one night.”

  “So marry me.”

  The words were out of my mouth before I realized they were even in my head. Both of us froze, shocked. Val sat up and looked at me with wide eyes, trying to figure out if I’d actually said what I just said. “What?” she asked.

  My brain was a scrambled mess, but as I sat there trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, I realized the feeling inside me wasn’t panic. It was excitement. I wanted this.

  “Marry me,” I said. I sounded as astonished as she looked, but it felt right. It was right. When I spoke again, my voice went from surprised to insistent. “Be my wife, Val. Be th
e woman who wakes up in this bed with me every morning for the rest of our lives. Fight with me how Robin and Alan do. Make love to me. Have my children.” Her eyes popped so wide that I laughed and said, “You know, eventually, someday.”

  “Kyle—I—are you serious?”

  I hadn’t meant to ask her, but now that I had, if she said no, it would kill me. “I hate to admit it, but I’ve been through enough women to know there’s not another one like you out there. You’re the one, Val. Whether you accept me or not, there’s not going to be anyone else for me.”

  It took her an eternity to say something. I waited, breath held in my lungs for her answer.

  “But we’re about to say good-bye to each other,” she said, her brow crinkling in concern and her voice falling to a whisper. “Aren’t you a little worried about that?”

  I’d feared that all summer long, but now I was sure. I grinned. “Val, how many times do I have to say it? You’re worth waiting for.”

  She didn’t appreciate the joke. “I’m serious, Kyle.”

  “So am I. We’ll get through the separation. It’s only a couple months while I’m touring and you can catch up with me every weekend if you want. We’ll schedule long breaks between the US tour and the different legs of the world tour, and I can make sure I have all the same holidays off that you do. You’ll be so busy with school the time will fly by.” I let out a scoff and added, “Besides, being separated through the entire engagement might be the only way you make it to the altar still a virgin.”

  Val surprised me with a laugh. “That’s definitely the truth,” she muttered.

  I didn’t know what to make of that. Was that a yes? I hoped it was a yes. I hoped I was getting through to her, because the more I talked about it, the more I convinced myself this was meant to be. I was practically giddy when I took her hands in mine and said, “Val, if we can survive a relationship without sex, we’re strong enough to survive whatever life throws at us. I love you so much. I want you to be mine forever. Say you’ll marry me.”