OnlyYou

by Laura Glenn

  “I don’t know how to ride,” she admitted, looking at Eileen sheepishly. She felt stupid, knowing that it was a skill most people in this time acquired during childhood.

  Eileen smiled sympathetically and patted her on the back. “Just use your heels to tell him you want to pick up speed and use the reins to signal which way you wish to go should we need to turn. Do not pull too tightly on the reins, however. Simply follow my lead and you will be fine,” she quickly explained as she motioned for Kaitlyn to climb up onto the horse’s back.

  Kaitlyn took a deep breath and patted the horse on his neck, marveling at the softness of his toffee-colored coat and the stark contrast it played against the black of his mane. “Be gentle with me, okay?” she whispered with a nervous laugh.

  The horse snorted and turned his head to nuzzle her arm. Kaitlyn gave him a few more quick strokes with her hand and then decided she had stalled for long enough. Lifting her skirts, she placed her foot in the stirrup, grabbed hold of the saddle and swung her leg over the animal’s back.

  Settling her skirts around her legs, she smiled at the memory of Gabriel telling her how unladylike it was to ride like this. She glanced up at Eileen who was watching her with a motherly smile and noticed that she too was riding like the men did instead of sidesaddle.

  Kaitlyn smiled and waved to her, feeling a new connection to her young friend. Perhaps they could be rebel women together and flout convention, silently protesting all of the restraints placed on women during this time of history.

  “Are you ready?” Eileen asked.

  Kaitlyn nodded and gently tapped her heels against the horse’s ribs, steering him in the direction of Eileen’s horse. Kaitlyn took one last look behind her at the crowd still milling around in the yard, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Gabriel towering over everyone’s heads.

  She thought she spotted him near a group of horses in the distance but she couldn’t be certain.

  And then it hit her.

  She could be certain about only one thing—she was definitely in love.

  Chapter Eleven

  What she wouldn’t give for a good facial and a hot stone massage.

  Kaitlyn groaned with relief as Eileen began pointing out Gabriel’s fields and his herd of cattle as they rode along the afternoon of the fifth day on their journey. Kaitlyn felt as though she had picked up a pound of dirt along the way and was carrying it in a nice thick layer on her skin.

  The trip had been grueling—more so than the march she had taken with Gabriel’s regiment. Though Eileen had a concealed pistol in a holster on her leg, Kaitlyn couldn’t help but feel like the target for any would-be criminal or straggling soldier who happened to come their way. Nothing happened, of course. Eileen had guided them home expertly, carefully avoiding known danger spots and staying in safe houses along the way.

  Kaitlyn leaned forward over the neck of her horse, which she had named “George” halfway through the journey. It wasn’t an illustrious name, she supposed but after days of coming up with overused names like “Chestnut” and the like, she settled on a good, old-fashioned name. “George” was stable, responsible and down-to-earth, just like the horse.

  He was definitely a beautiful animal worthy of a grand name but he seemed to have had a nice, long chat with Gabriel before they left. Not a minute had gone by during their trip that George didn’t keep her within his sight, even going so far as to follow her into the woods when she needed to take care of some urgent bodily needs. At first, Kaitlyn felt strange with this animal watching her so intently but soon it became a matter of course and she would call to him whenever she walked away from where they had stopped for a small break.

  He comforted her, filling a small space in the emptiness she felt in her gut every day now that she was even further away from Gabriel.

  She wrapped her arms around George’s neck and rubbed her cheek against his mane. He snorted and she smiled at his bluster.

  Finally, they turned down a long path, sheltered on either side by oak trees towering over them. Kaitlyn sat up, her curiosity piqued. Not too far in the distance, she could see what looked like a typical Colonial home with a red brick exterior and a flat façade, devoid of a porch or other exterior structures. As they approached, she became impressed with the size of the home. It wasn’t palatial by any means but it was certainly the home of someone who had seen a modicum of success in life. Apparently, Gabriel had done rather well for himself.

  And how like him to not have mentioned it.

  She smiled to herself and absentmindedly petted George’s neck. What she guessed to be a stable and a barn came into view. A young man walked out of the stable at that moment and waved at them.

  Eileen waved back and he started running toward them. Once they reached the front yard of the house, Eileen eased her horse to a stop and dismounted. She enthusiastically threw her arms around the young man who bore a striking resemblance to Gabriel in everything but height.

  Kaitlyn reined George in and dismounted as well, feeling unsettled by the thought of seeing someone who looked so much like the man she had only recently admitted to herself that she was in love with. Giving her horse an affectionate pat and a nuzzle with her nose, she walked over to Eileen and the stranger, smiling despite her discomfort and exhaustion.

  Eileen pulled away from him and grabbed Kaitlyn’s hand to draw her closer. “Paul, this is Kaitlyn McCann, a friend of mine. Katie, this is Paul, Phillip’s younger brother.”

  Another of Gabriel’s cousins, she noted to herself as she extended her hand to the young man who appeared to be little more than fourteen years old. The idea that she was meeting a member of Gabriel’s family brought to mind the woman who was probably sitting in the house only a few yards from where they stood—Gabriel’s mother. She had met the mothers of two of her previous boyfriends but her boyfriends had been present at the time.

  Her stomach began to churn nervously at the thought of meeting the woman Gabriel had spoken of in only the saintliest of terms. What would Mary O’Connor think of Kaitlyn? Better yet, what would she think of Gabriel’s mother? The only thing Kaitlyn wanted to do at that moment was to crawl into a nice cozy bed somewhere and fall asleep to avoid this whole situation.

  “It is a pleasure to meet you, madam,” Paul said, his voice cracking. His cheeks colored slightly but he continued talking. “We have heard much about you already.”

  Kaitlyn raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Phillip has written of you in his letters. Eileen has as well.”

  Wide-eyed, Kaitlyn turned to her friend with a questioning stare, wondering what exactly had been said about her.

  Eileen and Paul exchanged a secretive glance. Before Kaitlyn could ask what was going on, however, Eileen asked Paul to take care of the horses and grabbed Kaitlyn’s hand to lead her up to the house.

  Kaitlyn nearly had to run to keep up with Eileen. She smiled at the young woman’s joy at being home. A small stab of homesickness tore through her heart as she realized that she would probably never see her apartment or her things ever again.

  It was strange really but as Eileen led her into the house, Kaitlyn became aware of the fact that she had not dwelt much upon the idea that she would probably never go home. She had been so caught up in her attraction to Gabriel and her fascination with being able to watch everyday Colonial life first hand that she never really took the time to think about finding a way home.

  And now she wasn’t even certain that she wanted to.

  Kaitlyn’s eyes drank in her surroundings as Eileen led her through the wide, central hall with a large staircase winding gently up to the second floor. Several rooms could be seen off the corridor, their doors sitting slightly ajar. She could only catch glimpses of their interiors as she was ushered past them and toward the back of the house.

  Eileen burst through a swinging door at the end of the hallway and nearly shrieked, “Mama!”

  Eileen yanked Kaitlyn into the room and r
eleased her hand, racing toward a woman who appeared to be in her early fifties.

  The woman, who had been sitting on a bench at a table and peeling carrots, looked up and gasped. “Bless my soul!” she whispered as she made a quick sign of the cross.

  She stood and turned just in time for Eileen to propel herself into her arms. The woman clasped Eileen tightly to her chest, planting multiple, quick kisses against the side of the younger woman’s head.

  “Oh, my darling baby!” the older woman crooned over and over again as she stroked Eileen’s hair.

  Kaitlyn cast her eyes around the room, almost feeling like an intruder in this emotional family reunion. They appeared to be in the kitchen, from the looks of the wash sink across from her and the large, open fireplace with a black kettle sitting inside of it to her right. The room felt quite comfortable, much like what she glimpsed in the rest of the house. Warm, pecan-colored wood surrounded her, both on the floors and the trim. It was understated and yet elegant at the same time.

  “And this, Mama, is Kaitlyn McCann,” Eileen stated, interrupting Kaitlyn’s thoughts. “She will be staying with us.”

  Kaitlyn turned and smiled, walking over to the women. She extended her hand toward Gabriel’s mother, “It is a pleasure to meet you, madam.”

  Mrs. O’Connor took Kaitlyn’s hand and clasped it between her own. “Please, my dear, call me Mary. Eileen has written so much about you, I feel almost as though we have known each other for some time now.”

  The older woman’s smile was warm and her presence comforting. Kaitlyn felt immediately at ease with her. The woman was tall with a nice, straight posture. Her dark brown hair, which was the same color as Gabriel’s, was pulled straight back and tucked neatly beneath a white, cotton cap. Streaks of gray could be seen along her temples and the corners of her brown eyes were crinkled as though she had spent a lifetime trying to find the humor in life, despite the tragedy Kaitlyn knew she had been through.

  Kaitlyn smiled again and gave the older woman’s hand a small squeeze. “Thank you for allowing me to stay with you. I really do appreciate it.”

  Mary released Kaitlyn’s hand and waved away the younger woman’s words. “Think nothing of it, my dear.”

  “Oh,” Eileen began, as she reached into her bodice and pulled out the letter Gabriel had given to her the day they left. “Gabriel sent this for you.”

  Mary’s eyes sparkled with pleasure as she eagerly accepted the envelope and opened it. She was silent for several moments as her eyes scanned the letter. Her expression turned serious as she looked up first at Kaitlyn and then Eileen.

  “Your brother instructs you that you should stay put this time,” Mary stated in a grave tone. “I do hope you plan to obey his wishes.”

  Eileen dutifully nodded. “Of course, Mama. That was my last time, I swear it.”

  Mary pursed her lips together in apparent satisfaction at her daughter’s answer. She then called to Elizabeth, who Kaitlyn learned was the family’s housekeeper. A young woman with red hair and sparkling green eyes entered the kitchen from the back door, carrying a basket of herbs in the crook of her arm. After an enthusiastic greeting for Eileen and a friendly one for Kaitlyn, Mary explained that Elizabeth was the daughter of a cousin of hers.

  Elizabeth and Eileen quickly began chatting away as Mary turned her attention back to Gabriel’s letter. Kaitlyn smiled to herself over how Eileen seemed to turn into a typical teenager right before her very eyes. Well, typical for most girls. Kaitlyn had been very serious and reserved when she was an adolescent.

  She could suddenly sense someone’s eyes on her and she turned her attention to Mary who was now staring at her with curiosity. As Mary caught Kaitlyn’s glance, a warm smile spread across her features and she sighed before lowering her eyes to the letter once again.

  Kaitlyn’s cheeks burned. Mary’s eyes had taken on a knowing look as she smiled. Had Gabriel mentioned her in the letter too?

  What exactly did he tell his mother about her?

  Chapter Twelve

  Kaitlyn slowly slid her fingertips along the numbers written on the ledger on the desk in front of her. It was something she seemed to do almost daily for the past three months. She would often admonish herself, thinking the action a bit crazy but she couldn’t seem to help it. When she had first arrived and saw it lying on the desk in the library, she looked at it with a bit of reverence, realizing for the first time that she had never seen Gabriel’s handwriting before. The strokes of his pen were bold and strong, much like the man himself.

  She gazed at the last entry he made, written nearly four years before. Mary hadn’t missed a beat and immediately took over the accounts, her light, elegant writing sitting in stark contrast to her son’s heavy-handed strokes.

  Kaitlyn closed the book with a sigh and shoved it back across the desk, her eyes gazing at the wall-to-wall, built-in shelves filled with books. It seemed strange to her at first to wander around Gabriel’s house without him by her side. It was as though she was getting to know him all over again. She knew he was intelligent but she had come to realize just how well read he was as she took a mental inventory of the impressive collection of classics and law books in his personal library.

  The whole house felt peculiar, however, almost as though it knew its master was gone and was simply patiently lying in wait for his return. Kaitlyn felt a bit voyeuristic, like she was somehow intruding on a part of Gabriel’s life she knew very little about.

  Eventually, however, she grew accustomed to the slow-paced life of the farm. She learned to ride George quite well for a novice and spent at least an hour each day with the horse. Knowing that Kaitlyn was better educated than most women at that time, Eileen requested that Kaitlyn become her tutor. Mary hadn’t been so certain at first, obviously worried that her daughter might get out of hand and begin dressing up as a boy again and go traipsing back to the militia. But as soon as Kaitlyn promised that she would take all the blame if Gabriel disapproved, the older woman seemed to get a kick out of her daughter excelling in some of the same subjects that Gabriel had when he was a younger man.

  Kaitlyn and Mary had developed a gentle friendship that almost bordered on a mother-daughter relationship. Mary had even taken to calling her “Katie,” which, in turn caused everyone Kaitlyn met to refer to her by that name.

  Kaitlyn learned a lot by Mary’s side. Though Kaitlyn hadn’t touched a plant in her entire life, she had found a certain affinity for helping Mary with the harvest and tending of the garden and, subsequently, the canning and preserving of food for the winter.

  Kaitlyn stared at the blank piece of paper in front of her, her eyes darting to the quill standing upright in the bottle of black ink. Eileen had been on her case for the past two months to write Gabriel a letter. Kaitlyn wanted to but she was having difficulty composing it, especially since Gabriel hadn’t bothered to write to her either. Two letters had arrived from Gabriel over the past three months, each one asking about Kaitlyn but nothing had been sent to her personally.

  Her face flushed and a wave of nausea swept through her. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, fighting against the one thought that had been haunting her for nearly two months.

  She was pregnant.

  At least, she thought she was, though she tried not to dwell on it too much. After all, it could simply be a virus, right? A virus that made her hot, nauseous and tired all the time. And made her breasts ache painfully and made the waistband of her skirts feel too tight.

  Oh, and kept her from getting her period.

  Kaitlyn groaned, her head falling into her hands as she finally began to accept the reality of what was happening to her. She knew this could happen—they both did. Yet, she had allowed her lust to override her better judgment. She knew that it was quite possible to get pregnant from one or two sexual encounters but what were the odds that it would actually happen?

  She knew she should tell Gabriel. But just how the hell was she supposed to do that? Never having
heard a peep from her all winter, he’s going to get a letter from her out of the blue, telling him that—surprise—little Captain O’Connor Junior is on the way? Kaitlyn didn’t even know if Gabriel wanted to be a father.

  For that matter, she didn’t even know if she wanted to be a mother. At least right now, anyway. She’d always thought that maybe someday she would have children but that someday was supposed to be several years down the road.

  It was all too soon. Gabriel didn’t even know that she was in love with him, nor was she aware of exactly where she stood with him. The last thing she wanted to do was force him into something he wanted no part of.

  She pushed herself away from the desk and stood, dizziness striking her swiftly. She placed her palms flat on the desk and closed her eyes, wondering just how much longer she could hide her condition from the rest of the household. Kaitlyn was already catching Mary’s glances of concern and she knew that the woman would probably be on to her soon enough.

  Feeling her equilibrium return, Kaitlyn was struck by a sudden hunger for a big slab of Elizabeth’s soda bread, all toasted and warm and spread with the thick, blood-red raspberry preserves Mary had just made.

  Like a woman possessed, Kaitlyn made a beeline for the kitchen. As she entered, Mary and Eileen strolled in from the garden.

  “Another letter from Gabriel just arrived,” Mary gushed with a wide smile as she walked over to Kaitlyn.

  Kaitlyn smiled with relief, knowing that, with each letter from him, at least she knew he was alive and well enough to write. Unfortunately, that relief was short-lived as another wave of nausea hit her. Smells wafting from the fireplace assaulted her nose and she glanced at Elizabeth who was busy stirring something in the large, black kettle.