With the First Goodbye (Thirty-Eight Book 5)

by Len Webster

  Max ignored the teasing in her voice. Reaching for her hand, he took it firmly. He felt her wince beneath his palm as his thumb gently brushed along the knuckle of her index finger.

  That surge of electricity, similar to what he felt on the bridge, had him glancing down at their connection. The smoothness of her skin differed from other women. He loved that. Then Josie’s thumb caressed his.

  If she can convince me this is something different with just her touch alone, she’s gonna make one hell of a lawyer.

  “Your father’s an idiot,” Max pointed out.

  No teasing.

  It was the truth.

  Her thumb strokes stopped. “You just won yourself a free meal compliments of the Australian Ambassador to Germany. Order whatever you want. The more expensive, the better.”

  “Seriously love the way you think, Josie,” Max said. Then she smiled at him, and he swore his stomach did a flip. It was unusual. He had never reacted this way to a woman before.

  “Thank you—” The ringing of her phone interrupted her. Josie pulled away from his hand and then glanced down. Seconds later, her paleness had him standing. She clutched her phone and her handbag as if they were her lifeline, and she bolted out of her chair. Her fast breathing caused her chest to rise and fall, and she looked up at him with a pained expression he’d never seen before. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

  She hadn’t given him any chance to say more as she pushed past him. Max quickly grasped her wrist to stop her. “Hey, are you okay?”

  Tears filled Josie’s eyes as she nodded and then yanked her arm free. “I’m fine. I’ll see you later, okay? I really have to go.”

  “Okay,” he said, not really wanting to let her go, but she seemed desperate, and Max wouldn’t stop her. “I’ll see you later, Jos.”

  She gave him a small smile and then turned toward the exit. Max watched as she rushed towards the doors and then stopped. She stood still for a long moment and then spun back around and returned to him. Josie took a deep breath as she reached up and cupped Max’s left cheek. Then she got on her tippy toes and kissed his right cheek.

  His heart swelled.

  It became too big and consumed the small space in his chest.

  The feel of her lips on his skin almost had that beating organ explode within him. The warmth he felt was almost too much.

  She was too much.

  As quickly as she kissed him, her lips left him. Then she whispered, “Thank you, Max. Rain check on dinner, okay?”

  “Okay,” he murmured as his fingers wrapped around her right wrist and then slowly pulled her palm from his face. “Good night, Josephine.”

  Her smile deepened. “Good night, Max,” she said in a soft voice then left Pa La Blue, taking a piece of him. One he had no idea if he wanted back.

  Josephine Falkner was a complete mystery.

  One that Max had every intention of being lost in.

  And that in and of itself was something else.

  “There’s a chance the cancer has spread to her lungs. However, until we know the results, we’ll assume the worst-case scenario, so you need to prepare yourself. Unlike last time, Josie, it might be a lot tougher on your mother,” Dr Frederickson said.

  Josie peered into the hospital room and pressed her lips together. Once she saw her mother was still asleep, she swung her attention back on the doctor and nodded. “I understand. Thank you for having them call me last night.”

  Dr Frederickson gave her a tight smile. “Of course. It was touch and go, but she’s stable. We won’t be able to run the tests until later this afternoon, so it’s best if you go home and get some rest. If anything happens, we will call you. I promise.”

  “Thank you. I’ll just tell her goodbye, and I’ll be back.” Josie nodded at the doctor and then entered the intensive care room.

  Her steps were soft and precise to ensure her mother remained undisturbed as she made her way across the room. Upon reaching the bed, Josie gently set her hand on her mother’s shoulder and kissed the top of her head. When she stepped back, she took in her mother’s short brown hair and frowned. The cancer had returned before her mother’s hair could even grow out properly. She glanced over at the peonies she’d brought with her yesterday and made a mental note to bring fresh flowers later this afternoon.

  With an exhale, Josie held her handbag closer to her body and said, “I’ll see you soon, Mamma.”

  Unlocking her apartment door, Josie entered and dropped her bag onto the floor. As she passed the hallway table, she dropped her keys and kicked off her shoes. She had spent the night at her mother’s bedside. The nurses and doctors at the Royal Melbourne Hospital had been kind enough to let her stay past visiting hours. Many of them knew her from her waitressing job at Melbourne’s most beloved bakery. The Little Bakery on Little Collins Street had been made famous by her former boss, Danny Fletcher, and former baker, Clara Parker. They had both left Melbourne for the States to pursue their futures. Danny had become a head chef at a reputable restaurant in San Francisco, and Clara had married and moved to Boston to be with her husband.

  The new head chef, Nadia, was just as kind as Clara was, but she was more demanding when it came to service. The plan to turn the bakery into a dessert restaurant had stalled when the owner, Liam O’Connor, had left for Europe. But that hadn’t deterred Nadia; she had adapted, creating her own line of cupcakes. Though they were a hit, they hadn’t come close to Clara’s recipes—those still sold out in the first few hours of opening. Though Josie loved working at the bakery, it wasn’t the same since Clara left. Her presence and the way she baked was missing from the workplace.

  Rubbing the kink in her shoulder, Josie headed towards her bedroom of the two-bedroom apartment she shared with Stella Weller, who Josie had met during O-week at Deakin University. They had sparked a friendship immediately, and when second year came around, they had decided to move in together. When she made it to her bedroom door, she gazed at a yellow sticky note with Stella’s scribble on it.

  Left my phone at West’s. Missed you last night. Talk all about your dinner when I come home.

  Love,

  Stella.

  With a small smile, Josie peeled the sticky note off the door. It was a system they had. Sure, texting and calling were easier, but it was sentimental and something they’d shared since the very first day they moved in together. Unlike Josie’s four-year degree, Stella had graduated the year before and was currently a casual relief teacher. Being on-call for when schools needed a substitute teacher meant their schedules rarely coincided.

  Josie entered her bedroom, stuck the sticky note by the light switch, and began to unzip the red dress she had chosen for her dinner with her father. The same dinner he hadn’t shown up for. The same dinner where she saw Maxwell Sheridan again. It was strange how connected she felt to him. They had agreed they would be friends, but the hand-holding on the bridge eight months ago and the kiss on his cheek last night pushed the boundaries of friendship.

  She had tried not to dwell on it too much, but just the feeling of Max’s hand on hers was enough to render her breathless. And her heart had tightened to the point where it was almost uncomfortable. If circumstances were different, if it hadn’t been the hospital calling, she’d have stayed and had dinner with him. Max was different from most guys she knew. The guilt she’d seen in his eyes was one she knew, and for Josie, she wanted to free him from it. Those brown eyes were beautiful. And that soft smile of his was incredible and completely unforgettable.

  He’s your friend, Josie.

  She was so lost in thought over him that she had even stopped unzipping her dress as she stood in the middle of her bedroom. Blinking rapidly, she shook her head.

  “What are you doing?” she asked herself as she pushed the straps off her shoulders, deciding that her connection with Max was only due to her loneliness.

  Her need for companionship on a platonic level.

  That was what she needed, and she was sure he did, t
oo.

  Nodding to herself, Josie continued to undress and decided that right now, being by her mother’s side was more important.

  After a shower and dressing in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a white T-shirt, Josie closed her door and headed towards Stella’s room. When she reached it, she clicked the pen and held up the sticky note pad in her hand to write her roommate a reply.

  He never showed up. Hospital called, and I had to leave. Mum’s okay. Will talk to you later.

  Love you, too.

  Josie.

  P.S. West still owes me $20 on that bet we made. Remind him that I’ll be collecting VERY soon. Or we could double or nothing next time?

  Happy that her note had the right level of teasing and reassurance, Josie stuck it on Stella’s door and began to make her way to the front door. On her way out, she left the pad and pen on the hallway table and picked up her bag. Once she closed the front door behind her, Josie headed towards to the elevator, ready to see her mother.

  It had taken almost ten minutes to turn onto Lonsdale Street on her way to the Royal Melbourne Hospital. Josie would soon have to take another turn onto Elizabeth Street, and she’d arrive at the hospital. Travelling through the busy afternoon traffic, a tall building caught her eye. Slowing down to avoid hitting pedestrians, she smiled at the large golden letters that spelt “Gordon Sheridan” above the glass revolving door.

  For a moment, her heart had skipped a beat as she realised Max worked here. She had left him when she had gotten the call from the hospital. She felt guilty, but he appeared to understand, and that made her heart go wild. It felt as if her body had acted before her brain had processed what was going on as Josie indicated left and parked just outside Gordon Sheridan Lawyers. When she pulled the key out of the ignition, she decided she would go inside and thank him for being nice to her last night.

  She hadn’t realised how much she had needed a friend until he offered. Sure, she had many girlfriends, but Josie needed someone new and unattached. Stella had always pried, and Clara was too busy with her married life in Boston. Although she loved Stevie, she was not only consumed with university, but was also with her fiancé in France for the Rowing World Championship. It had been months since she last saw them. When they returned, she promised herself she’d see them more.

  Stepping out of her Mini Countryman—a guilty purchase from her absent father—Josie locked it and approached the parking metre. Digging into her front jeans pocket, Josie took out what she could find and inserted the few gold coins into the machine. She wouldn’t be long and didn’t need to stay longer than the hour the ticket had given her. Once she had returned to her car, Josie unlocked it and displayed the ticket on the dash before she closed the door and approached the entrance. Josie passed through the revolving doors, entering in the impressive lobby of Gordon Sheridan Lawyers.

  If she were ever lucky to work for such a prestigious law firm, she knew her life would be set. But Josie would be lucky to find a single law firm willing to take her on as a trainee lawyer. If she didn’t, she’d never complete her compulsory year of traineeship. By the time she graduated, she’d have a HECS debt of over $120,000. Thankfully, she wouldn’t find a job anytime soon that would get her over the threshold to start paying it back. Working for Gordon Sheridan Lawyers would make her debt troubles fade away. It was the dream job for any lawyer and law student.

  She envied Max. He had a father who helped him achieve his dream career. For Josie, her father hadn’t so much as wished her the best for university. Pushing thoughts of him away, Josie made her way to the reception desk. The woman behind it lifted her chin and graced Josie with the fakest smile she had ever seen. Bright white teeth and deep red lacquered lips. Blonde hair and blue eyes. The woman was attractive and scary all at the same time.

  “Good afternoon. Welcome to Gordon Sheridan. How may I assist you today?”

  Josie glanced down to find the receptionist tapping her finger on the desk as if Josie were forcing the life out of her. The moment to be nice was lost. Josie would be blunt and to the point.

  “I’m here to see Max Sheridan.”

  “Do you have an appointment?” the receptionist countered, going for the direct approach.

  “No,” Josie answered.

  Should have known that I’d need an appointment to see him.

  The woman behind the desk did not attempt to hide her eye roll, and that annoyed Josie more than anything. But it was obvious this woman had dealt with no-appointmenters on multiple occasions. Josie was not the first, and she sure as hell would not be the last.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you see Mr Sheridan without an appointment.”

  “I’m a friend of his,” Josie informed.

  The woman’s brow raised and then her eyes fluttered down to Josie’s casual attire. “A friend … of Mr Sheridan’s?”

  Josie’s nostrils flared in annoyance. “Yes,” she bit out. “Could you just call him? He’ll tell you that I don’t need one.”

  Not true, but she was bullshitting. In fact, she wasn’t sure if Max would be pleased with her spontaneous visit. But she needed to see him and thank him.

  “Fine.” The woman sighed and picked up her phone. She then pushed a button and glared at Josie. After a few ‘Uh-huhs’ and ‘Okays’, the receptionist set the phone back on its hook. “Sorry, you just missed him. Mr Sheridan had an emergency he had to attend to. I can take a message.”

  Her heart sank.

  She had just missed him.

  With an exhausted exhale, Josie nodded. “That would be great. Thank you.” Leaving him a message was all she could do because she had no other means of contacting him.

  “What would you like me to say?”

  Josie reached into her back pocket and retrieved one of the bakery business cards she carried around. It had her name and the store number on it. When Danny had been the owner of the bakery, they used to do private orders, and each order went through Josie. Flipping the card over to the blank side, she grabbed the pen next to the blonde receptionist, scrawled her message, and handed it to the less than impressed woman.

  “Thanks,” Josie said with a little appreciation and then spun around, ready to head to the hospital.

  The woman who sat in front of him had been everything at one time. Until the real Sarah Collins unveiled herself. A manipulative bitch. A woman willing to take a secret to her grave. A person who would go to extreme lengths to ruin lives. She had been the woman Max had loved.

  All the things he had been oblivious to since he had met her were now clear. She wasn’t the kind-hearted girl he had helped when he was eight. The one who sat on her doorstep crying as her parents fought. He saw the sad girl. He knew how nice she was underneath it all, but everyone else hadn’t. Everyone saw the true Sarah while Max had been in denial.

  For as long as Max had known Sarah, she had never been much of a crier. The first time had been when they were eight. But then he saw her shed tears when the truth of her ways came to light. She had told Clara a lie that broke her and Noel apart. Max had ended it with her when he discovered what a blackened heart she had. That was when she had cried. It took seventeen years until he saw those tears of hers again. She had never shown an inch of emotion and never given much in the companionship department. Max had never been an option for her. Instead, his best friend, Alex Lawrence, had. She had chosen the star footballer and the brains. The same man who went to Stanford while Max stayed in Melbourne.

  “I wish I had never done it, Max. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep feeling this pain. I don’t want to be without you,” she sobbed.

  He knew she meant it. Sarah had never shown more than her bitchy side. Max had thought it was a portrayal—something to hide behind. A defence mechanism. But he had learnt the hard way that it wasn’t a façade. It was real. It was her. All of her.

  A heartless bitch.

  Max stood from the dining chair where he sat. She had called him in the middle of a client meeting mumb
ling and threatening self-harm if he did not see her immediately. The love he thought he felt had him excusing himself and driving across the city to her Docklands apartment. The love he thought she felt for him had him at her door. What he had expected was a remorseful woman, not a soulless and sinister woman in lingerie.

  It was an act.

  One he fell for.

  She was quite the actress.

  That and his love for her had made him a blind man.

  Love made him a terrible person.

  And love made him betray his best friends.

  “I’m tired of this. Don’t call me ever again, Sarah. I told you; we’re through. Never again,” he instructed firmly, trying to ignore the way his heart shrivelled up inside. He’d loved her since he was eight. At least, he thought he loved her. But after seeing all his best friends in love, he knew his love for her was not the right love. It wasn’t how love was supposed to be.

  She shot up from her chair. “No!” she begged desperately.

  He took two steps away from the table and headed towards the front door, ready to leave her behind and go back to work. His father would not be impressed that he had run out on a client for her.

  “Max, don’t! I love you, for fuck’s sake. I’ve never loved anyone. No one. None of them. Not Alex. You. Just you! I should have been with you. Not him.”

  Her words had him stop. He was metres from the door and metres from saving his soul. Metres away from starting his recovery to becoming a good man—an honest man worthy of love and worthy of a future.

  “Turn around,” she breathed. “Tell me you believe me when I say I was meant to be with you and not Alex. Turn around, Max.”

  Max clenched his eyes shut. Eight months. He had gone eight months without the feel of her. Eight months sober was about to go to waste as he turned around. Max watched her reach behind and unclasp her bra. Then she pulled it off and held it between her fingers. It was slow—painfully slow—in order to hurt him. He would never win in control or teasing. That was all her.