With the First Goodbye (Thirty-Eight Book 5)

by Len Webster

  Eight months.

  Days before his best friend’s wedding was the last time he had slept with her. Moments of weakness and loneliness had won, but he was close to sobriety from her.

  Until today.

  Until he answered her call. Her damn cheekbones and her long black hair. She was a devil with a body that controlled him. What was even more fucked up was that he loved her. All of her. Loved her tarnished and putrid heart. Hated her blue eyes and the way she’d moaned his name because they’d made him love her all the same. Again and again. It never ceased, and he hated her more for it.

  “Sarah,” he warned. Max took a step back because he knew how close he was to breaking and how close he was to making the worst mistake of his life.

  Then she dropped her red lace bra and shoved her thumbs into the elastic of her skimpy and no doubt expensive panties. Max held his breath, starving his lungs of oxygen. It didn’t help that all blood went south. He needed pain. He needed to remember what she did. How she tortured him with her lies and deceit. He wanted light and not the darkness. Max thought he deserved that. He wanted real love. Not this. Not with her. No matter how much his past him wanted this. And no matter how much the eight-year-old he had once been told him that the good was still inside her.

  Eight-year-old Max had been a child.

  He knew nothing of the nearly naked woman standing before him.

  “Say it, Max,” she whispered.

  His nostrils flared. Attraction and his hard-on were ruining sobriety. He hated her for doing this to him. For ruining him. For making him think he deserved this. That he was never meant for something good or wholesome. Never meant for mutual respect and want. Never meant for anyone but Sarah. She took a deep breath; her chest rose, and it made him ache all over for her.

  And then she did it.

  Tore his heart out the moment she pulled down her red lace underwear and stepped out of them. She sashayed towards him as if she were a venomous snake and he was the small mouse.

  He was completely helpless and completely and utterly fucked.

  “Don’t do this to us, Max,” she cooed in his ear once she had closed the distance and had cupped him where every man wanted to be touched. His erection throbbed with her touch.

  No.

  She squeezed him gently. The right kind of pressure.

  God, yes.

  Then her touch disappeared, and for a moment, he thought he was safe. But then her hands were undoing his belt. Yes and no were at war in his thoughts as her mouth began to blaze a trail along his neck. She was trying to make him submit to her. Like he always did. But he didn’t want to. Not this time. This was about keeping his integrity. He needed to leave. To be the better man he knew he could be. Max balled his fists, trying to find a way to separate them.

  To finally end them.

  “Say it. Say you want me. Like you’ve always wanted me.”

  His heart thudded violently. Inside him, all his resolve broke into sharp fragments that embedded within him.

  “Fuck you, Sarah,” he growled. Then he grabbed her hips and slammed her back into the wall behind her.

  Sarah let out a moan at his forcefulness. “There you are,” she breathed and unzipped his pants.

  Wild, animalistic pressure burst as he pushed her legs apart. Max pulled her hands from his pants and forced his pants down to his ankles.

  “I hate you so fucking much it hurts!” he hissed the moment her blue eyes met his. Crashing and burning, just like they were about.

  “Then show me,” she challenged. Her voice filled with desire and need.

  Max wrapped his hands around her thighs and helped her up off the ground. Then she wrapped her slender legs around his waist. Sarah’s hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her. She felt unnaturally cold under his touch.

  He hated it.

  He wanted warmth.

  The same warmth he’d felt with Josie’s touch.

  Josie.

  No, no, no.

  She was the last person Max should be thinking of. Not sweet Josephine. Her name should not be thought of in all this. He shook his head, hoping to rid her of him as he concentrated on the harsh blues that stared at him. The same pair of hooded eyes that ripped out his soul the moment he had kissed her as a teenager.

  This had to be raw.

  This had to have no emotions.

  “Fucked anyone else since me?”

  “No,” she said breathlessly. “Just you.”

  For a second, his traitorous heart skipped a beat. Had this come a year earlier, he would have been thrilled. Make love to her. Show her she should love him. But he was now a different man.

  “You saying that to get me back?” he grunted.

  “No.” Her eyes, for the first time since they were children, had softened. She wasn’t lying. Max had been the last man she had slept with.

  He decided this would be the last time.

  This had to end.

  For good.

  There would be no foreplay or slow.

  No romantic gestures or gentle touches.

  This was about destroying her.

  Satisfaction swept through him. She might control his heart, but he controlled her pleasure. He remembered every aspect of her face. The way she only showed vulnerability when she was lost in her own selfishness. The way her cheeks flushed, no doubt in anticipation of him entering her. He remembered it all one last time.

  “You’re going to miss me,” he said confidently.

  Sarah’s eyes widened. “What?”

  “I hate you, Sarah Collins. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. You denied me real love. So I’m going to not only deny you an orgasm, but also something real and good.”

  Max set her roughly on the ground. He said no more as he pulled his pants up and fastened his belt, enjoying the shocked expression on her face and the quiver of her lip.

  I get this.

  I get to break Sarah Collins’ heart … if it’s possible.

  He ran his fingers through his hair, combing his brown locks back. He didn’t storm out like he would have liked. Instead, he took short and slow strides. Once he reached her apartment door, he paused, staring at the black paint.

  “Have a great life, Sarah. You will never find someone who loves you as I did,” Max revealed and grasped the door handle. With a twist, he pulled it open and walked out of her apartment.

  Once he closed the door behind him, he leant against it and sighed.

  Almost-sex.

  Add that to my never want to experience again list.

  Max pressed his lips together in a victorious smile, satisfied with his goodbye.

  After the short drive back to his apartment, Max had taken a long and scorching hot shower before he returned to work. He needed her touch off his skin. Seeing Sarah enforced his need to live a life without her. And that was what he had done. He said goodbye the only way he knew how and the only way she would listen. She wasn’t a woman who sat and had a conversation.

  He’d made it raw.

  Denied her sex.

  She had used sex against him for so many years. But this time, Max didn’t give her pleasure. He’d denied her like she had denied him love. Instead, he’d told her goodbye.

  Sarah Collins would no longer be a parasite in his life.

  She’d be a notch.

  Just like he had been one for her.

  As Max entered the lobby of Gordon Sheridan Lawyers, the law firm founded by his father, he tightened his tie. He smiled politely at several of the employees from different departments that he remembered and made his way towards the elevator.

  “Mr Sheridan!” Ruby, the receptionist hired by HR last month, called out.

  He stopped just short of the elevator and spun around. She had already left her desk and met him halfway with her flirty smile. Not the practiced one she normally wore for clients and the other lawyers.

  “Hey, Ruby,” he said with minimal energy in his voice. H
e wasn’t up for small talk with her. There was no way he was ever going to give her any extra attention. She was an employee. He wasn’t going down that road.

  “You had a visitor while you were out,” she said, brushing her blonde hair over her shoulder. Then her smile faded. “It was a woman.”

  A woman?

  Only one woman would come to his workplace. “My mother?”

  Ruby shook her head. “I know what your mother looks like, Mr Sheridan. She was younger. Here, she left this for you. She wrote something on the back.” She presented him a small rectangular card.

  Max hadn’t missed the hint of jealousy in the receptionist’s sharp tone. He took the business card from Ruby and smiled. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. If you need anything, let me know.” Her flirty voice and smile had returned.

  “Will do,” Max said.

  The receptionist stood there, staring at him as if she were waiting for him. She glanced down at the card and then back at Max. When he didn’t say anything else, she let out a sigh, spun around, and stalked away. He couldn’t help but chuckle at her change in attitude. His focus fell to the business card as he held it properly to see that it was from the Little Bakery on Little Collins Street. His chest tightened as he took in the name on the card.

  Josie Faulkner.

  Baker and cupcake taste tester.

  Orders can be placed in store or over the phone.

  Josie had come to Gordon Sheridan to see him, and he wasn’t there. Instead, he was busy dealing with his ex-whatever-Sarah-was. They were never girlfriend and boyfriend; she had never let them reach that level in their ‘relationship.’ The honest truth was that they were fuck buddies. If he had just stayed, he’d have gotten the call to go downstairs to find Josie waiting for him. Max flipped the card over to find that she had written, in cursive, a message for him.

  I’m sorry about last night.

  - Josie.

  Stunned, Max had no idea what to think. She had come all the way to apologise for leaving him last night. They hadn’t had plans. He had hijacked her night by sitting in front of her so she wouldn’t leave. If anyone should apologise, it was Max. Taking in her neat and beautiful writing one more time, Max slipped the business card into his pocket and headed for the revolving door entrance of the law firm.

  “Mr Sheridan?” Ruby called out.

  Over his shoulder, he yelled, “Something important has come up. See you Monday!”

  Danny: How is my former employee going?

  Josie squinted at the text from her old boss. There was no denying how insanely hot Danny Fletcher was. She had always harboured a crush, not caring that he was almost ten years older than she was. An attractive man who could cook was a serious turn-on. But he was her boss, and she would never jeopardise her employment or his bakery. Danny had never been a fan of any of her boyfriends. According to him, none of them had ever been worthy of her. Her favourite view of his was always, ‘when are you going to take out the rubbish, Josie? You’re wasting your time with that dickhead.’

  Yeah, she missed him.

  Since he’d taken over at the Leopold in San Francisco, their chats were text messages every now and then. Today was one of those days. After she had gone to the hospital, she was told the CT scanners were booked out, and her mother’s tests were delayed until tomorrow morning. Josie’s mother had kicked a fuss and made her leave after lunch, instructing her to go home and concentrate on her upcoming torts assignment.

  However, the moment she left the Royal Melbourne, Nadia had texted her asking if she would fill in for Denise who had called in sick. Josie accepted the shift because baking took her mind off all the stress and pressure around her. Though she was no natural at concocting new cupcakes, she did know how to bake them right. She was no Clara Parker, cupcake genius, but Josie managed just fine. Her regular customers had noticed immediately the change in taste when Clara had left the Little Bakery but commented that Josie had done a fine job replicating Clara’s recipes as best as she could.

  Josie leant on the stainless-steel prep counter and sighed. As cute as Danny was, and as much as she loved him as her boss, she couldn’t tell him how she really felt. Emotionally, she was exhausted. And mentally, she wondered where her thoughts went to most of the time. One thing she didn’t have to worry about was her mother’s medical bills. Emily Faulkner had money saved away plus private health insurance. Though they weren’t rich, they had enough money to pay the bills. And if it got so bad, Josie knew where to go. Her father owed her almost three years’ worth of child support. She wouldn’t tell him exactly why she needed the money, but she’d find an excuse.

  Josie: Oh, you know, the usual. Nadia’s working on recipes while I’m here on my phone. Nothing has changed since you left, Danny.

  Danny: Thought as much. You heard from Clara lately?

  Josie: She’s busy with classes since she left that job you set up for her. Seriously, Danny? How could you let her go work for such an asshole?

  Danny: I didn’t know Mac was taking over. He had a job lined up in New York. Thought she was in safe hands with Antonio. How was I supposed to know he’d leave? It’s been three months, Josie. Stop blaming me. I wasn’t the one who threatened her marriage.

  Josie: You’re right. Sorry. With everything that’s going on, I haven’t had a chance to blame someone. Anyways, how are you?

  Danny: Good. I’m thinking about coming home in a few months. Catch up?

  Josie: As long as I don’t have exams, sure. Let me know when and where.

  “Josie!” Nadia called from the shop floor.

  Setting her phone down, she pushed off the steel bench and made her way out of the kitchen where she found Nadia holding a serving apron in her direction.

  “Do you mind serving for a bit? I have Liam’s lawyer on the phone,” Nadia said. Concern was evident in her frown and creased forehead, and fear mixed in Josie’s Italian boss’ dark brown eyes as she brushed her tight brunette curls behind her ear.

  “Everything okay?” Josie asked as she took the apron and began to tie it around her.

  Her boss nodded. “Looks like Liam’s transferring the bakery’s ownership over.”

  “To who?” Josie knotted the ties and tilted her head. “To you?”

  Nadia let out a dry laugh. “You kidding? There is no way I could afford this place. Ally’s taking over.”

  “Ally?”

  “Yep. When she comes back from France with her husband, she’ll be over with a new contract and details on what’s happening. Liam’s lawyer just wants me to be ready. Ally could want a new head baker. It could mean I’d potentially be out of a job.”

  Josie stepped forward and set a hand on Nadia’s shoulder. “Ally’s not who you think she is. She’s one of the nicest people I know. You’ll see—Did you say husband?” She hadn’t heard from Ally since she left for New York with Rob. Nothing on Facebook had indicated that she and Rob had gotten married recently. All the news and social media told her were that Robert Moors was now the Men’s Single Scull World Champion. When Josie found out, she had squealed, happy for Rob. But also because she knew someone famous.

  “Yeah. Didn’t you know?”

  She shook her head. “No, I didn’t.”

  “They are definitely married. Also, Taylor will help serve with you.”

  Josie nodded. Taylor was the new waitress the bakery had hired a few months ago. Although a little ditsy, Taylor was a good waitress. She was no Clara, but Josie appreciated her enthusiasm at work.

  Nadia turned her head slightly and smiled. “You have a customer, Josie.”

  Smile, Josie.

  Your customers make the time fly by.

  Three hours and forty-five minutes until you get to go home.

  Josie readied her smile and then spun to find a customer she was not expecting. Light brown eyes that reminded her of caramel and dark brown locks. He wore his suit perfectly. Tailored to him, no doubt. How she ever dated sweaty DJs she’d never know. M
en in suits were where it was at. However, no man wore a suit quite like Maxwell Sheridan.

  “Max,” she breathed, mentally kicking herself for sounding so out of breath at his presence.

  Seriously?

  “You’ve got this?” Nadia asked, hint of humour in her voice.

  Josie swung her gaze to her smirking boss and glared at her. “Yes,” she said through clenched teeth. “I do. Thank you, Nadia.”

  Nadia chuckled and retreated to the small office. Josie took a deep breath then faced Max’s very cute confused expression.

  “Hi,” she finally said.

  The confusion left his face and joy replaced it. “Hi,” he said in a soft voice. Then he dug a hand into his jacket pocket and produced something rectangular.

  Josie raised a brow at him.

  Max held it up, and she recognised it as her business card she had left with his law firm’s receptionist. He had gotten it. She couldn’t help but hope he’d come straight to the bakery to show her. Stupid thought, but she seemed to have them around him.

  “You’re sorry, Josie? Really?”

  The humour in his voice had her folding her arms over her chest. “Well, I am. I’m sorry for last night.”

  He laughed. It was light and sweet sounding. “That’s exactly what you wrote,” he pointed out. “Why would you be sorry? I hijacked your night.”

  It was her turn to laugh. “I guess you did. I just ran off and left you there after you cancelled your plans with your friends.”

  “Josephine, first, let’s get some things straight. Okay?” He leant on the counter and moved closer to her. She was thankful his surprising visit was during the quieter moments of the store’s trading hours.

  She tilted her chin a little higher. “Okay.”

  “One, you’re more important than they are. Understood?” His brown eyes darkened.