The Miss Fortune Series: Aloha, Y'All (Kindle Worlds Novella) (The Mary-Alice Files Book 4)

by Frankie Bow

  Text copyright ©2017 by the Author.

  This work was made possible by a special license through the Kindle Worlds publishing program and has not necessarily been reviewed by Jana DeLeon. All characters, scenes, events, plots and related elements appearing in the original The Miss Fortune Series remain the exclusive copyrighted and/or trademarked property of Jana DeLeon, or their affiliates or licensors.

  For more information on Kindle Worlds: http://www.amazon.com/kindleworlds

  Aloha, Y’all

  Frankie Bow

  Acknowledgments

  Many thanks to Jana Deleon for writing the Miss Fortune universe and letting us play in it.

  Contents

  Acknowledgments

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Recipes

  Blueberry Cheesecake Squares

  Bread Pudding

  Bourbon sauce

  Sazerac Cocktail

  St. Charles Hotel Chicken Gumbo (original 1920 recipe)

  Cajun Scrambled Eggs

  Hawaii Style Potato Mac Salad

  Spam Fried Rice

  Eggplant Fritters

  Loco Moco

  From the Author

  Chapter One

  The woman known as Sandy-Sue “Fortune” Morrow pressed her phone to her ear and paced. Now and then she cast an anxious glance over the bayou that ran across the back of her lawn.

  “So Ahmad’s men are back in New Orleans?” she asked.

  “And that’s not all. We’re picking up on some chatter indicating one or possibly two of them might be headed to Sinful.”

  “I can handle two. When can I expect them?”

  “Don’t even think about it. We need to get you out of there.”

  “But Harrison—”

  “Don’t worry, it’s not a permanent relocation. We’ll just send you on vacation for a few days until we get a better handle on this.”

  “Great. What forsaken backwater are you going to drop me into to this time?”

  “Morrow wants to send you to Hawaii.”

  “Hawaii? I’m listening.”

  “We have a safe house, and someone there who can help you get settled in. You’re flying out of Lake Charles Regional Airport tomorrow morning.”

  “Geez, Harrison, thanks for the advance notice. Tomorrow? What am I going to tell everyone?”

  “Who do you have to tell? You’re not answerable to anyone.”

  “Look, I’m doing my best to blend in. But that means I’ve become part of the community and I can’t just disappear.”

  In fact, Fortune had done better than just blend in. After several weeks in Sinful, Louisiana, she was starting to feel she fit in. It was getting harder to maintain her emotional detachment. Maybe a few days away would be just what she needed to regain it.

  “How about this?” Harrison suggested. “Tell whoever needs to know that your family wants you to take a look at some property out west for them. Don’t give any more details than that, and do not tell anyone you’re going to Hawaii. Keep it vague. Oh, and there’s something else. Ahmad’s guys will be looking for a young woman traveling alone, so you need to find someone to go with you.”

  “Oh, that won’t be a problem—”

  “Uh-uh. The Director will have an aneurism if you even think about getting those two geriatric loose cannons involved.”

  “Are you saying I can’t bring Gertie and Ida Belle? They’re the only ones I don’t have to maintain cover with.”

  “You should be keeping cover anyway. You have a ten-million-dollar bounty on your head, remember? Look, don’t you know any sweet, non-trigger-happy old ladies with nice manners?”

  Fortune paused for a moment. She saw a ripple on the surface of the bayou that might have been an alligator. Or it could have been nothing more than a floating stick. It was hard to tell in the early-morning light.

  “Actually, I might know one.”

  “Great. One is all you need. Think you could talk her into coming to Hawaii with you tomorrow?”

  “It’s not as easy as you’re making it sound. The locals aren’t exactly jet-setters. I’ve met people here who’ve lived their whole lives without leaving the parish. But look, I’ll try. I’ll ask her.”

  “And you might want to think about changing your appearance a little. In case Ahmad’s men saw you in New Orleans.”

  “Hey, does that mean I can get rid of these stupid hair extensions?”

  “Knock yourself out. As long as you’re on that plane tomorrow morning.”

  Chapter Two

  Mary-Alice Arceneaux had always held that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Mary-Alice was sitting across from Sandy-Sue Morrow at Francine’s Diner, trying very hard to think of something nice to say about the young lady’s new hairdo. Mary-Alice felt it was particularly incumbent upon her to be gracious on the occasion of her birthday breakfast.

  Sandy-Sue, or “Fortune,” as everyone called her, was the niece of the late Marge Boudreaux, come to Sinful for the summer to wrap up Miss Marge’s affairs. Word was, Fortune worked as a children’s librarian, and before that she had been a teenage pageant queen.

  But to Mary-Alice’s eyes, young Fortune looked more like a drill sergeant than a beauty queen. Her long, golden hair was gone, and in its place was a dirty-blonde buzz cut. Mary-Alice hoped Ida Belle or Gertie would say something first, and then Mary-Alice could follow their lead.

  “I love your hair,” Ida Belle said to Fortune. “You look just like Charlize Theron in Mad Max: Fury Road.”

  “That’s exactly what I was thinking!” Gertie exclaimed. “I couldn’t think of where I’d seen the look.”

  Fortune ran a hand over her fuzzy head. “I like it too. It’s so cool in the humidity.”

  “It’s quite striking,” Mary-Alice agreed.

  “Do you have the present?” Ida Belle asked Gertie. Gertie pulled out a small package.

  Mary-Alice couldn’t help but smile. The gift looked about the size of a small book, and Mary-Alice loved books, especially mysteries. She reminded herself that making it to one’s 70th birthday in good health was a blessing.

  “Well this is lovely,” Mary-Alice said, taking the package. “I believe I made the right choice moving from Mudbug to Sinful. I’m feeling quite thankful today.”

  “No, we’re the ones who are thankful,” Ida Belle said. “You’ve been a thorn in Celia’s side ever since you got here, and we’re loving it.”

  Fortune suppressed a smile, and quietly sipped her coffee.

  Mary-Alice’s face fell. “Why, I never meant to be a thorn in anyone’s side.”

  “What she means,” Gertie explained, “is that Ida Belle and I have this friendly rivalry with your cousin going way back to, well, forever. And since she was elected mayor she’s been—”

  “Unbearable,” Ida Belle interrupted. “Mary-Alice, your cousin’s been spitting nails ever since you finished your kitchen remodel. Trying to tell everyone your décor
isn’t in keeping with Sinful’s stately traditions. She’s one to talk, with her avocado shag carpet and her macramé owls hanging on the wall.”

  “Open your present!” Gertie said. “It’s from the three of us.”

  Mary-Alice undid the pale blue ribbon and flowered wrapping. But when she opened it, it wasn’t a book. It was a small, flat box.

  “It’s an e-reader,” Fortune said. “It can hold hundreds of books.”

  “And when your vision starts to go,” Ida Belle added, “like Gertie here, but you don’t want to wear the glasses you so obviously need, you can make the font as big as you want, and no one will be the wiser.”

  Gertie didn’t respond to Ida Belle’s jab. She simply rested her chin in her hand and gazed at Ida Belle while scratching her cheek with her middle finger.

  “My goodness,” Mary-Alice exclaimed. “This is lovely. Thank you all.”

  Mary-Alice’s eyes shone, and one fat tear ran down the side of her nose, cutting a channel in her face powder. “I’m sorry. I suppose I’m simply overwhelmed. I’ve had so much going on lately, what with the move and the remodel and all, and now here I am turning seventy.”

  “Seventy!” Gertie exclaimed. “Why, Mary-Alice, you’re a mere child. But I agree, birthdays do have a way of making you take stock of your life.”

  “Well, I talked Francine into making a special batch of banana pudding just for the occasion,” Ida Belle said. “Shall we tell Ally to bring it out now?”

  When they’d finished the banana pudding, Ida Belle and Gertie excused themselves to check on their batch of home-brewed cough syrup. Sinful Ladies’ Cough Syrup had a higher alcohol content than Wild Turkey 101, and was a popular cold remedy in the dry town. So popular that it sold out every year at the church bazaar.

  Mary-Alice was about to leave as well but noticed that Fortune was still sitting at the table. She settled back in, as it would have been rude to leave Fortune by herself.

  “Do you know, I’ve been thinking of getting one of these e-readers,” Mary-Alice said, by way of making conversation. “Thanks again to all of you. I can’t wait to get started using it.”

  “We knew you liked murder mysteries so we pre-loaded the reader with a few,” Fortune said.

  “It was terribly thoughtful of you. I must say I’m fortunate to have an honest-to-goodness librarian pick out my reading for me.”

  “I’d like to take the credit, but Gertie’s the one who chose the books. You should thank her”

  Ally came by with a coffee pot and a tea pitcher and refilled Fortune’s and Mary-Alice’s drinks, respectively.

  “Thanks Ally,” Fortune said. “Your coffee’s awesome, as always.”

  “And the banana pudding was absolutely lovely, darling,” Mary-Alice added. “What a treat!”

  The young waitress smiled.

  “And there’s a box of blueberry cheesecake squares up front for you, Aunt Mary-Alice. For when your dessert stomach has room again. Happy birthday.”

  “Well now, wasn’t that thoughtful,” Mary-Alice said when Ally left.

  Fortune pushed her coffee aside and leaned forward.

  “Mary-Alice. Think you can handle one more birthday present?”

  “My goodness, I should say not. All of these lovely gifts are making me feel quite spoiled.”

  “What would you say to a trip to Hawaii?”

  Mary-Alice lit up. “Oh, Fortune, you didn’t. The hibiscus-print stationery that Harriet’s just brought in? I have been rather coveting it, such a darling design. Goodness, y’all really are spoiling me today.”

  Fortune became serious.

  “Sorry. I did not buy you those Hawaiian print note cards. Although now I know what to get you for Christmas. What I’m saying is I’m actually going to Hawaii and I’d like you to come with me.”

  Mary-Alice brought her hand to her throat, touching imaginary pearls.

  “But Fortune, darlin’, I couldn’t possibly…”

  “It’s not as generous an offer as it sounds. Here’s the deal. My family wants me to go check out some property for them, and they’re worried about me traveling alone. They told me to bring a respectable traveling companion to make sure I behave myself, and they insist on paying for everything.”

  “Fortune, I’m so honored. But surely Gertie or Ida Belle would like to—”

  “Yeah, no, they were pretty specific about the ‘respectable’ part. Besides, Mary-Alice, I think you’d be a great travel partner. You’d be a calming influence when I’m about to blow my top going through security.”

  Mary-Alice looked puzzled.

  “Security?”

  “You know, when you’re holding your high heels in one hand, you have your boarding pass under your arm and your driver’s license between your teeth, and you’re trying to kick your stupid pink luggage along fast enough so the person behind you doesn’t start grumbling, and meanwhile your hair extensions are falling into your face and sticking in your lip gloss?”

  Mary-Alice smiled at Fortune.

  “I suppose you won’t need to be concerned with the hair extensions on this trip.”

  Fortune ran her hand over her fuzzy head and grinned.

  “Dam— I mean darn straight. So will you come? Honestly, you’d be doing me a huge favor.”

  “Do you know, I’ve never flown in an airplane before?”

  “Well then, what a perfect way to celebrate a milestone birthday. Can I take that as a yes?”

  Mary-Alice’s fine features creased with concern.

  “Will I need a passport?”

  Fortune laughed, and then stopped herself.

  “Hawaii became a state in 1959. You just need your driver’s license.”

  “Oh dear, you’re right, of course. My goodness, where is my head today? When are we leaving?”

  “Tomorrow morning. We’re flying out of Lake Charles Airport.”

  “Tomorrow?” Mary-Alice faltered.

  “That gives you a whole day to pack.”

  Fortune stood up and gave Mary-Alice a chummy pat on the shoulder. “I’ll pick you up at three.”

  “Three in the morning?”

  “You okay with that, Mary-Alice?”

  “Why yes, of course I am, darling. It’s just that I’m feeling so very overwhelmed by your generosity!”

  “Great. See you then. Oh, one more thing. Please don’t mention Hawaii to anyone else. I don’t want any hurt feelings or jealousy. If anyone asks, just tell them we’re going out west.”

  Mary-Alice watched Fortune stride out of Francine’s Diner. People glanced up as she passed. They were mildly curious at the sight of her buzz-cut hair, but not surprised. Everyone in Sinful knew Marge’s Yankee niece was a little odd.

  Hawaii. Mary-Alice could scarcely believe it. After all these years.

  Chapter Three

  After breakfast, Mary-Alice rushed home to research Hawaii, where she’d be heading to in less than twenty-four hours. She opened her computer and began to search. Maybe she should re-watch the musical South Pacific, which she hadn’t seen in years.

  But Mary-Alice quickly discovered to her surprise was that Hawaii was not in the south Pacific. Instead, it was located north of the equator, although not by much. The entire state lay well south of Sinful, Louisiana. In fact, Hawaii was around the same latitude as Mexico City.

  The second surprise was that it wasn’t clear where Hawaii was, precisely. Although there is a Hawaii Island, the state of Hawaii is a series of islands, of which Hawaii Island is just one. And the capital, Honolulu, is not on Hawaii Island (also known as the Big Island because it is, in fact, the biggest of the islands) but on another, smaller island, called Oahu.

  This was turning out to be much more complicated than Mary-Alice had expected. As she continued her online research, she found the images of Hawaii drew her in. Blazing ocean sunsets, luaus illuminated by tiki torches, and the palm-lined Waikiki Beach Walk beckoned. Everything looked clean and vividly colorful. Unlike Sinful, which
always seemed to be smothered under a greenish haze, Hawaii was sparkling-clean.

  Mary-Alice picked up the phone and called her best friend from Mudbug, Beulah Monroe.

  “Can we move up my birthday lunch to today?” Mary-Alice asked, although she was so full from breakfast she couldn’t imagine eating for a week. “I know we planned for tomorrow but something’s come up, and it would be ever so nice to see you.”

  Mary-Alice hopped into her Oldsmobile and made the hour drive out to Mudbug to see Beulah. Mary-Alice had had many friends in Mudbug, or so she’d thought. But Beulah Monroe was the only one who’d stood by Mary-Alice after Mary-Alice’s grandson had gone to prison for arson. Mary-Alice came back to Mudbug now and then to attend Crafting Circle, but found she was surrounded by acquaintances there now, not friends. Except for Beulah.

  They met at the café on Mudbug’s main street. Beulah ordered the fried oyster platter with boudin balls. Mary-Alice, still full from breakfast, got bread pudding with bourbon sauce.

  Beulah caught Mary-Alice up on the latest gossip from the Office of Motor Vehicles, whose internal politics appeared to rival those of eleventh-century Byzantium.

  “Why Beulah,” Mary-Alice exclaimed, “I thought you were fixin’ to retire.”

  “Well, I did retire, sugar, you know I can’t stay on my feet all day. But I came back part-time. I didn’t care for sitting at home all day, and I do enjoy meeting folks. And how are you getting on in Sinful? Last I heard you were fixing up that old house.”

  “Sinful is a lovely place,” Mary-Alice said. “Although I find I do miss Mudbug now and then.”

  “How many folks you got living in Sinful?” Beulah asked.

  “I believe the official population is 253.”

  “Well there you go, Mary-Alice. Mudbug has nearly twice that. Five hundred and two, at last count. You’re just not accustomed to living in a small town, is all.”

  “As a matter of fact, Beulah, I have been considering expanding my horizons a bit. It’s occurred to me that I might consider traveling to Hawaii.”

  “Hawaii! Mary-Alice, you’re not serious.”

  “Well, why ever not? I’m seventy years old today, and I don’t believe I’ve ever been outside the state of Louisiana.”