The Miss Fortune Series: Aloha, Y'All (Kindle Worlds Novella) (The Mary-Alice Files Book 4)

by Frankie Bow

  “Well my goodness, Mary-Alice,” Beulah exclaimed. “Aren’t you adventurous. So are you going to be getting yourself a passport?”

  “No, it seems they don’t require a passport to travel to Hawaii,” Mary-Alice said, feeling a little worldly. “Just a driver’s license. Hawaii is a state, you see.”

  “Well now, I suppose I should have known that.” Beulah laughed good-naturedly.

  “Beulah, I’ve been doing a little of my own research, and I’ve learned ever so much. For example, did you know where Hawaii is located?”

  “Well I believe I do,” Beulah said. “It’s right off the coast of California.”

  “Well now, that’s just what I used to think, Beulah, right up until quite recently.”

  “Now Mary-Alice, I certainly don’t want to contradict you, but I’m telling you, I’m as sure of that as I could be. We got a big map of the United States back in the break room at the OMV.”

  “It’s nowhere near that close. The folks who draw the maps just put it there to save space. It’s actually right in the middle of the ocean, just as far away as it could be. As a matter of fact, come to find the distance from here to California is less than the distance from California to Hawaii.”

  “You’re not seriously considering going that far.” Beulah gasped and placed a hand on her ample chest. “This isn’t all on account of that old postcard, is it?”

  “Well, now that you mention it, Beulah, I’ll admit to it maybe being on my mind of late.”

  “You just be careful now, Mary-Alice. Oh, of course you will. I mean, it’s not like you’re leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.”

  “No, nothing like that,” Mary-Alice agreed.

  After lunch with Beulah, Mary-Alice didn’t drive straight back to Sinful. Instead, she made a detour to Grand Coteau. She hadn’t been to the church for a good long while, but it was exactly as she remembered it, white and stately on a velvety carpet of lawn. Its chunky bell tower looked like a miniature townhouse stuck onto one end, with windows on each of its five floors. The top of the bell tower looked like a gazebo, with its graceful arches and hipped roof. Inside was the three thousand pound bell that one Mrs. Eleanor Millard had donated in honor of her late husband.

  Had the hulking edifice with its gargantuan bell been anything but a Catholic church, Mary-Alice’s mother might have denounced it as tacky. But it was a Catholic church, and a well-established one at that. Mary-Alice’s mother had always attended faithfully, along with Mary-Alice. Mary-Alice’s father would come along now and then, usually on Christmas or Easter.

  Mary-Alice made her way around the building back to the cemetery. There was a large flat-screen display at the entrance; this was new.

  Welcome from the Catholic Cemeteries of the Archdiocese of St. Louis. No pets allowed. No firearms.

  Mary-Alice’s mother certainly would have found this tacky, Catholic church or not. Mary-Alice made her way back to the Laval family plot. She found the one particular headstone she was seeking, and kneeled down in the grass in front of it. She paid no mind to her white capris. If the dirt and grass stains didn’t wash out, she could always purchase another pair.

  “Well, I’ve reached my three score and ten today, Mama.” Mary-Alice said to the headstone. There was no one else in the cemetery on this bright afternoon, so Mary-Alice reckoned she could speak her mind. “It’s quite a milestone, I must say. It’s caused me to take stock of my life. Especially seeing as…well, I suppose I don’t have to explain it to you, mama.”

  The date of death on Thelma Rose Laval’s tombstone marked her 70th birthday.

  “Mama, I do hope you can forgive me for not visiting more often. But Lord forgive me, as much as I miss you, Mama, I must confess I can’t say the same for him.”

  Mary-Alice glared at the adjacent headstone, the one with her father’s name on it.

  “Ninety-two years old, mind you, and the day he had you declared dead, that very day, he had the everlasting gall to propose marriage to his personal attendant. I never told you this before, and far be it from me to spread gossip, but I mean to say, honestly. Young girl, she was, maybe thirty years old at most. Well, you’ll be pleased to know she turned him down, Mama, and you know what? He passed away on the spot. There were some who made light of it, said he died doing what he loved. Mind you, Mama, I thought it was terribly tacky of him. Anyway, I came by to let you know I’m fixin’ to travel to Hawaii. There’s this young lady Sandy-Sue Morrow, goes by the name of Fortune, invited me. She’s a Yankee, but she’s got a good heart, I’ll swear to that. And I must confess, I’m kind of excited about it. You know I’ve never gone in an airplane before. I’d like to think that you’d be proud of me for being so brave. Imagine, tomorrow I’ll be flying over the ocean! Okay, Mama, I have to go home and pack now. But I’ll come again soon. And I’ll tell you all about my trip, I promise you.”

  Chapter Four

  Mary-Alice was in sitting in the aisle seat of a luxurious jumbo jet. She had been sitting a long time and supposed she might get up to walk around. Except when she stepped into the aisle, the floor was gone. She awoke with a start right before she splashed down into the Pacific Ocean, and was immensely relieved to find herself safe in her own bed.

  The clock on her night table read one-thirty. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep; her alarm was going to ring in another half hour. Mary-Alice got up and got dressed, and then checked and double-checked the contents of her little travel bag. At exactly 2:59 am Mary-Alice heard a knock. She slipped her new e-reader into her purse and wheeled her bag to the front door.

  “Miss Gertie!” Mary-Alice exclaimed. “My goodness, what are you doing here at such an hour?”

  “I’m driving you to the airport,” Gertie said. “Fortune’s already in the car. Is that all you have?”

  “Yes. I read online that there are two kinds of luggage, carry-on and lost. If I find I’m missing anything, I imagine I can purchase whatever I need right there.” Pinterest-fueled visions of Waikiki shopping were dancing in Mary-Alice’s head. “And of course my new e-reader has enough books on it to last me the whole trip. I must say, Miss Gertie, you do have excellent taste in literature. I thank you for the wonderful selection of murder mysteries.”

  “It was fun to pick them out. Who doesn’t love a good murder?”

  “Only the fictional kind, of course, Miss Gertie,” Mary-Alice laughed as she locked her door.

  On the drive to Lake Charles Regional Airport, Fortune briefed Mary-Alice on airport security procedures. Mary-Alice listened carefully to every word. As soon as Gertie pulled up to the curb, Mary-Alice took out her driver’s license so she wouldn’t be caught fumbling for it when someone asked to see it. When they reached the stairs to the terminal level, Fortune grabbed Mary-Alice’s rolling bag and bounded up the steps two at a time.

  Mary-Alice didn’t follow Fortune up the stairs. Instead, she stepped onto the adjacent escalator. Why take ordinary stairs when there are mechanical stairs right there? Fortune reached the top before Mary-Alice and waited for her there.

  “I’m terribly sorry, darling,” Mary-Alice said. “I didn’t mean for you to have to wait for me. It’s a habit of mine never to miss a chance to take an escalator.”

  “No problem,” Fortune said, as she scanned the terminal. “Funny, I never noticed until you mentioned it, but I guess there aren’t any escalators in Sinful, are there? We have some time. Let’s go wait in the Business Lounge. It’s right down there.”

  The business lounge at St. Charles Regional Airport looked to Mary-Alice like the lobby of a cozy hotel.

  “Let’s grab those two chairs,” Fortune said. “The ones against the wall. You go get comfortable, and I’ll go get us some coffee.”

  Mary-Alice settled her tiny frame into one of the overstuffed armchairs.

  “Fortune, I do thank you for taking me along on your travels,” Mary-Alice said when Fortune returned with two brimming china cups. “This is ever so lovely. I’m starting t
o believe that traveling suits me.”

  Fortune sat in the armchair next to Mary-Alice’s. She used her long legs to scoot the chair back until it was braced against the wall. Then she turned around and knocked on the wall, and seemed to be reassured by its solidness.

  “Yeah, this is pretty nice,” Fortune’s eyes darted around the half-empty lounge. “I like small airports. Easier to keep an eye on things.”

  “You mean so we don’t miss our flight?” Mary-Alice asked.

  “So we don’t miss our flight. Exactly.”

  Fortune kept looking around the lounge as she sipped her coffee. Mary-Alice assumed Fortune must be an experienced traveler; hadn’t she spent her youth on the pageant circuit? Maybe Fortune was one of those people who never shook their fear of flying. Come to think of it, how would Mary-Alice herself feel once she was in the air?

  I should never have read those flying phobia message boards late last night, she thought. Would she find herself seized by panic when she realized she was stuck in a metal tube thirty thousand feet off the ground, hurtling through the stratosphere at five hundred miles per hour? Mary-Alice certainly hoped not. She didn’t want to ruin Fortune’s trip. She decided that if she got too scared, she’d simply close her eyes and imagine she was back home in bed.

  Fortune was clearly in no mood to chat. She got up several times to refill her coffee, and even when she was sitting, she kept leaning over to look out the window onto the tarmac. Rather than try to force conversation, Mary-Alice took the opportunity to set up her new e-reader. Soon she was absorbed in one of her new mysteries. It starred a lawyer-turned-restaurateur-turned-amateur sleuth, included a number of tempting Italian recipes, and had nothing to do with flying.

  When Mary-Alice stepped onto the plane, she found it looked quite familiar; she had seen the interiors of airplanes so often on movies. What she hadn’t expected was the narrowness of the aisle and the crush of early-morning commuters on their way to Houston.

  Fortune offered Mary-Alice the window seat. Mary-Alice felt some trepidation, but did not wish to turn down a kind offer. If the view got too scary she would simply squeeze her eyes shut and look away. She watched attentively as the flight attendant demonstrated how to buckle the seatbelt, even though she had already figured it out on her own. Finally the plane started to move, accelerated so quickly that Mary-Alice felt herself pressed back into her seat, and then lifted off the ground. Mary-Alice watched in wonder as the ground dropped away.

  Now that they were airborne, Mary-Alice felt her worries drop away as well. They hadn’t missed their flight, lost their luggage, or shown up with the wrong tickets. And in less than 24 hours, they’d be landing in Hawaii! The ground beneath turned into a green patchwork as they gained altitude. As they flew westward, Mary-Alice watched the green fade to brown, wondering all the while what kinds of human dramas were taking place in the towns and truck stops below.

  “Mary-Alice?” Fortune was saying.

  “I’m sorry?”

  A flight attendant stood, hand on a rolling stainless-steel cart, looking expectantly at Mary-Alice.

  “Would you care for something to drink, ma’am?” the flight attendant asked.

  “Certainly, darlin’. Might I trouble you for a Sazerac Cocktail?”

  As soon as the words were out, Mary-Alice’s hand flew to her mouth. Sazerac Cocktail? Where did that come from?

  Chapter Five

  “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am,” The flight attendant told Mary-Alice. “We have coffee, water, or Coke.”

  “A Coke would be lovely,” Mary-Alice said, thoroughly embarrassed.

  “That sounds good,” Fortune said. “I’ll have one too. Can I get a Diet?”

  “Just regular for me,” Mary-Alice said. “Thank you ever so much.”

  Fortune turned to Mary-Alice when the flight attendant had moved on.

  “What was that you asked her for?”

  “A Sazerac cocktail.”

  “What’s in it?”

  “Do you know, I’m not quite certain. But I do recall my mama was awfully fond of her Sazerac cocktails. I suppose I’ve been thinking of her. Especially after riding the escalator.”

  “The escalator reminds you of your mother?” Fortune asked.

  “You see, the first time I rode an escalator was at the old Krauss Department Store in New Orleans. Well it’s long gone now, but my, what a treat it was to go out there. My mother had taken me into town to buy my confirmation dress, and they had what they called back then the ‘mechanical stairs.’ They were quite a sensation at the time. Well, I wanted to try them out, but when I got to them, there they were, coming out of the ground so fast, I thought I might never sum up the courage to go on. So mama took me by the hand and pulled me onto the stairs with her, and it went as smooth as you please. Well, she held my hand all the way up, and then when we were finished shopping for my outfit, she rode back down with me. Then we went next door and had our lunch at the St. Charles Hotel, which was terribly grand, and after that we stopped by Fuerst & Kraemer for chocolates and pralines to bring home for the neighbors and the help. Every time I set foot on an escalator, it brings me back.”

  Fortune nodded. She was staring out the window at the pale sky.

  “Fortune, I do hope you’ll excuse me for rambling on like a foolish old woman.”

  “Nothing foolish about missing your mother.” Fortune took a sip from her little plastic cup. “I totally understand.”

  The rest of the trip was a shiny, sleepless blur. After the short flight came a three-hour layover in Houston. Mary-Alice eagerly perused the shops. There was even a real bookstore, but as tempted as she was, Mary-Alice didn’t buy any books from them. She had dozens of books on her e-reader already, and besides, she didn’t want to be disloyal to Harriet’s Books back in Sinful.

  The next airplane was much larger than the previous one, but even more crowded, if that were possible. This took them on a flight so long that Mary-Alice was able to finish two murder mysteries and start on a third. She stared in amazement as the plane began its descent toward Honolulu Airport. With its crashing surf, golden beaches, and stately hotels, it looked just like the opening credits of Hawaii 5-0!

  “Fortune,” Mary-Alice said, “I’m not saying we need to stop there overnight or anything, but do you suppose we’ll have a chance to have a peek at that grand pink hotel?”

  “That’s not a hotel, Mary-Alice. It’s Tripler Army Medical Center. Anyway, we’re not stopping here. We still have one more short flight to go.”

  Fortune ignored the signs to the Wiki Wiki Shuttle.

  “We don’t want to stand around on a crowded shuttle bus,” she explained to Mary-Alice. “It’ll be nice to walk after the long flight.”

  Fortune strode down the broad, open-air walkway, and Mary-Alice hurried to keep up with her. They passed through sliding glass doors, and came to a convergence of covered walkways. At the center was a pretty tropical garden. But was no time to dilly-dally in Honolulu Airport as they had in Houston. Fortune led them on to a short moving walkway, then off the moving walkway, through another sliding doors to an indoor terminal. The cold indoor air was a shock after the soft heat outside. They passed gift shops, a food court, and a display of invasive plants and animals that were presumably intercepted as they tried to enter the state.

  PROTECT HAWAII! The sign read. DON’T PACK A PEST! Mary-Alice was hurrying to keep up with Fortune, so she couldn’t make out what all the items were, but one of the objects was clearly a yellow snake, coiled up and floating in a jar.

  “Is it true they’ve kept all the snakes out of Hawaii?” Mary-Alice panted, her short legs making two steps for every one of Fortune’s.

  “That’s right,” Fortune called back to Mary-Alice without breaking her stride. “No rabies, no snakes. Not bad, huh?”

  They reached the end of the terminal building, and Mary-Alice was certain they must be done walking.

  “Is this our gate?” she asked hopefully.
<
br />   “Not yet.”

  Fortune blew past Gate 61 and disappeared down a stairway. Mary-Alice followed her into a makeshift tunnel constructed of plywood and opaque plastic sheeting. The tunnel led to a grim concrete waiting room, and Mary-Alice wondered whether they had made a wrong turn. But there were a few other people standing around with roller bags, which was reassuring. Fortune stood with her back pressed to the wall, giving each of the other passengers the up-and-down as if she were assessing them.

  Mary-Alice sidled up to her.

  “What are we waiting for?” she asked.

  “Shuttle bus. It’s the only way out to the commuter terminal. If we’d chosen another airline we could’ve connected from the main interisland terminal but it looks like my family went for the discount airline.”

  The shuttle bus arrived, and the passengers filed on glumly. After a short ride, they were dropped off in front of low building that looked to be from the airport’s earlier days. They disembarked from the shuttle and followed the walkway across the tarmac into a sort of Terminal of the Damned.

  It was packed with families. Every seat was taken, and people were sitting on the floor. The gum-stained carpet looked as if it had spent a few seasons in a discount movie theater. Mary-Alice was relieved when it was time to board their final flight. Once again, she savored the exhilarating feeling of watching the ground fall away as they soared skyward, admiring the lapis-blue water frosted with whitecaps.

  She noticed a dark shape, and was about to ask Fortune whether she’d spotted a whale. But just in time, she realized the whale seemed to be keeping pace with the plane. Either she had discovered a species of whale capable of traveling hundreds of miles per hour, or she had been watching their shadow.

  As excited as she was, Mary-Alice was also tired after a full day of traveling. She dozed off, and awoke to the sensation of pressure in her ears.

  “Here we are,” Fortune said. “Mary-Alice, welcome to Hawaii Island.”