Duplicity

by Lisa J. Hobman

  He smiled, patted my shoulder once more, and walked away. Before I could process what had just happened, I was grabbed from behind and swivelled around.

  “Who was the silver fox, Twinkle?”

  I rolled my eyes and made an unladylike noise. “Urggh. Some dude from a swank gallery in New York. He wants to hire me and give me a place to live or something. I don’t know… I made a complete fool out of myself.”

  Alec’s eyes widened in shock, and he dragged me through a large oak door into an empty hallway. “You’ve been snapped up by a New York gallery? Oh, my fucking gee, Twinks! That’s amazing!” He pulled me into his arms and swung me around.

  I laughed humourlessly. “Alec, I can’t…I can’t go.”

  He plonked me rather abruptly on my feet and grabbed me by the arms. “What the fuck are you talking about? Of course you can go. This is an amaz—”

  “Zing opportunity. Yeah, I know that, Al, but…” I dropped my gaze to the floor that had apparently fascinated me earlier too.

  He huffed and stepped back, folding his arms defiantly over his chest. “Is this about Fin Hunter?”

  Once again, I did my dumb impersonation of the nodding dog as my bottom lip trembled.

  Suddenly I was engulfed in Alec’s arms. “Oh, Twinkle. You need to let him go, darling. He’s let you go. You need to move on with your life, and maybe this is the way forward, eh?” He pulled away and tilted my chin up with his finger. I gazed up into the compassion-filled eyes of my best friend.

  The tears that had been threatening only moments before spilled over. “I can’t forget him, Alec. I know I should. But I…I just can’t.”

  He didn’t speak again. Instead, he pulled me back into his chest and held me.

  Fin

  I watched from a distance, not wanting to be seen, but with a heart so full of the pride I felt for her that I was sure I’d burst. She almost floated around the room in the black, figure-hugging dress that caressed her sensual curves. Curves I’d known very well, albeit it not for long. She looked every bit the classy, gracious host. The artist. My God, and she thought she didn’t fit into my world. I’d thought she didn’t fit into my fucking world. Crazy. She was my world. How could I have been so fucking stupid?

  Seeing images of myself adorning the walls made me feel a little too conspicuous. I was sure I’d be spotted, and so I kept to the sidelines and watched my girl - my former girl - as she chatted to eager attendees, her arms gesturing wildly as they did when she was enthusiastic. Seeing her in her element warmed my heart. But even though her beautiful smile was fixed in place, I could tell her heart wasn’t feeling it. I was responsible for that. I felt like shit, but what could I do now? There was no way she’d take me back. No way she would accept any kind of apology from me after how I’d treated her.

  When she had run out of the ball that night, I had been so confused. But then, when I realised what my father had done—how he had shocked me with his admission of love for me— I realised I had inadvertently appeared to be agreeing to letting Star go. How could I have been so damned stupid? How could I have let him manipulate me again? He’d known exactly how to twist the knife and I’d fallen for it, hook line and sinker. Fucking idiot!

  I’d left so many voicemails apologising for my stupidity that I’d lost count. Hell, I’d even written letters. Although I hadn’t posted them, as I’d remembered about that arsehole in America who’d dumped her that way. Either she had deleted the voice messages before listening to them or she had listened and deleted them anyway. Whichever it was, my calls had been unreturned and my appearances at her apartment had been met with threats of police intervention for stalking by Alec.

  And so in true stalker fashion, I turned up at the gallery, hiding in the shadows. The urge to go to her. To talk to her. Hell, just to be close enough to catch the scent of her perfume was almost overwhelming. She stopped at the back of the gallery and sipped her champagne as her eyes flitted nervously over the crowd of people who were all in awe of her work. Was she looking for me? The stone pillar before me shielded me well as I tried my damnedest to pluck up the courage to go and congratulate her. To say how proud I was to have known her, and to have called her my friend. To tell her how stupid I was, and that I hadn’t intended for things to happen how they did; that I’d been caught off guard.

  But I wasn’t supposed to be there, so my words would remain as prisoners, along with my heart. I watched her with a group of friends. She laughed and threw her head back, and my mind was suddenly flooded with memories of her laughing with me, of her lying naked in my arms. Of her chocolate brown gaze fixed on my every word as I sang. Of how I loved her then. The feeling of her beneath me as I worshipped her body was almost tangible, and I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep and calming breath.

  Resting my head on the cool stone for a moment, I realised I had to do it. I had to talk to her. It was now or never. Even if it was only to tell her how proud I was. It had been far too long since I’d heard her voice. With my resolve set firm, I opened my eyes again and lifted my gaze in her direction once more. A tall guy with silvery black hair was standing beside her. Fuck. I watched with interest as the man smiled at my Star. She peered up at him, open-mouthed and with a crease between her brows. What was he saying to her? She looked shocked, incredulous even, at whatever it was. I hoped he was being kind. Not harming her with his words as my parents had done. She didn’t deserve that. The man continued to talk and I could sense my opportunity to speak to her slipping away. I had to make a decision whether to go and interrupt, and I had to be quick. My stomach twisted, and anxiety reached my heart, making it hammer almost in time with the music playing over the sound system.

  I clenched my jaw as I continued to watch the stranger with my girl. An air of self-importance oozed from him, and I was jealous. Who was he? And what was he saying to her that had her so mesmerised? A waiter passed me by, and I placed my empty glass on his tray. My nostrils flared and my fists clenched.

  Come on, Hunter. It’s now or never.

  “I think you should go, Fin.” Alec’s voice startled me, and I swung my head to meet his piercing eyes.

  Speaking through my clenched jaw, I told him, “I’m staying put, Alec. I’ve got to talk to her. She needs to know—”

  “She needs to forget, Fin. Don’t be cruel. You made it clear she doesn’t fit into your world. Now leave her alone, okay? Do her that one small grace.” His eyes pleaded with me, but there was no malice there. What I saw was pity.

  I pulled my lips into my mouth and bit down hard. I told myself that my eyes were watering because I’d almost drawn blood, but deep down I knew it was because he was telling me something I didn’t want to hear.

  He placed a hand on my shoulder. “She’s come this far, Fin. If you go and talk to her now, she’ll be back to square one. Don’t do that to her. If you care for her at all, you’ll walk away. I love that girl like a sister. I can’t watch you break her heart all over again. Please, Fin. Just leave.”

  He was right. I closed my eyes for a moment again and tried to get a handle on my emotions. I hated that he was right. Fucking hated it.

  Once I had opened my eyes and met his determined gaze again, I nodded. “Okay. You’re right. But will you at least tell her I asked you to pass on a message? Just…tell her that…this is wonderful.” I gestured around the room. “That she’s done an amazing job and that her photographs are stunning. Tell her I’m so sorry I hurt her. It kills me to know I did that, and I regret it more than she can ever know. She didn’t deserve to be treated so callously.” My eyes stung, and I cleared my throat before I continued. “Tell her I wish her all the success in the world, Alec. I wish her every bit of happiness that I couldn’t give her. She deserves this. And…and I didn’t deserve her.” My voice broke, and with a heaviness in my heart, I turned and walked away.

  I knew there was absolutely no chance he would pass the message on. But at least I’d told him.

  At least he knew how I felt abo
ut her.

  That would have to do.

  Star

  I fell back to reality with a bump on the day following the exhibition. The coffee shop had been busy on and off, but my concentration levels were worse than normal. Alec was in the shop for once, and he had ordered me to grab an iced tea and go take a break. I took my cup out to one of the bistro tables on the precinct just outside the door and sat there in a daze. People strolled by with their bags and briefcases, going about their usual routines, and there I was with the words of Marshall Davies rolling around my head.

  “Whatever it takes… I want your work for my gallery… name your price…”

  I was in a world of my own when I felt the table dip. I looked up and inhaled sharply.

  “Hello, Star.” The way Isobel Hunter said my name in that well-to-do, husky voice of hers spoke clearly of the utter disdain she felt for my very existence.

  I straightened my back. “Mrs Hunter. Why are you here?”

  A sly smile barely crept across her perfectly botoxed features. “Oh, I think you know.”

  I sighed deeply and shook my head, hoping my exasperation was evident. “No. I’m sure I don’t.” I forced a fake smile, unwilling to let her know her presence bothered me.

  She cocked her head to one side. “I’m here to talk to you about New York.”

  “I…I don’t know what you mean.” So much for her not bothering me.

  “Oh, come now, Star. Don’t pretend to be as dumb as you look. I know all about Marshall’s offer.”

  I ignored her insult, but an unpleasant shiver traversed my spine. “You? You set that up?”

  She laughed, and the mirthless sound recalled to my mind a villain from the movies. “Oh, absolutely not. Why would I do anything good for you?”

  Okay, fair point. “Then how…why?”

  “I know Marshall Davies. I had no idea he was in the city until I bumped into him at the Balmoral last night. We had drinks, and he happened to mention a talented young female photographer he was trying to contract. When he said your name, I couldn’t believe my luck.”

  I bristled at her words. The fact that Marshall had any connection to that witch made me think more than twice about accepting his business proposal.

  I sneered at her. “So, I would be working with a friend of yours?” I couldn’t help the scrunching of my nose as if a bad smell had appeared beneath it.

  “Marshall is more…how should I put it? More of a business associate. You would be insane not to take him up on his offer, Star.”

  I pushed myself away from the table and began to stand. “Well, thank you for your concern, but I can make up my own mind.”

  She reached out and grabbed my wrist. “Think about this, Star. It really is the opportunity of a lifetime. You get to move on with your life and do something you love.”

  I snorted and yanked my arm free. “Meaning I’m out of the way of your son.”

  She smiled again. “There have to be some perks.” Her smile disappeared and she stood to face me. “Look, Star, I don’t dislike you, as such. I’m sure you’re very sweet in your own quirky little way. But I think Fin needs someone who understands his position in the family. His life. His reputation. If you’re gone, I think he could reconcile with this father and move on with his life in a direction befitting him. With someone befitting him.”

  My eyes began to sting. “My God. How many insults can you indirectly insert into one goddamn monologue?” I placed both hands on the table and leaned toward her. “Isobel, I loved your son. I was in love with him. I didn’t care if he had pots of cash or not a single cent. All I cared about was him. His happiness. But he didn’t think we could be together, so I think you’re safe. It seems you’re more bothered about appearances than what your son wants. And believe me when I tell you he has no desire to be back at the firm. No amount of cajoling on your part will change that.” My voice wavered. “My break is over. I have to go.” I turned and began to walk away.

  “He never really loved you, Star.” I stopped and turned my head to glare at her as she continued. “He may have thought he did, but it was all an illusion. You were something different. The novelty would have worn off sooner rather than later. Do yourself a favour and save yourself the heartache. Take the opportunity in New York. It’s the right thing to do. For both of you.” For a split second, I thought I saw compassion in her eyes, but as if she sensed my awareness, the mask dropped again, and she gave a sly snigger.

  Turning away once more, I stormed back inside the coffee shop. Alec was cleaning down the main machine when I stomped past him and into the back room. My eyes were blurry with unshed tears, and I knew he would follow.

  Sure enough, he appeared in the doorway seconds after me. “Who was that? Why are you so pissed off? Are you crying?”

  My chest heaved as I fought the threatening tears of anger that were ready to overflow. “That was fucking Isobel Hunter.” Alec’s expression said who? “Fin’s witch of a mother.”

  His nostrils flared. “What did that bitch want?”

  “To encourage me to take the New York job offer.” I laughed derisively. “She thinks if I’m gone, Fin will reconcile with his father and he’ll meet some fucking lawyery wifey type who’s befitting of him, and they’ll have little befitting babies, and they’ll all live happily ever after in a fucking house that’s befitting of them all.” A sob escaped my chest, and I crumpled onto a chair beside the small table in the back room.

  Alec dropped to a crouching position before me. “Hey. Hey, Twinkle,” he said softly, but I continued to sob. “Star Mendoza, look at me right now!” I jerked my head up at his harsh tone and he cupped my face in his huge palm. “Star, you are the most beautiful, kind-hearted, thoughtful, sexy woman I have ever met. If I wasn’t as gay as a teapot, I’d be all over you. If she thinks you’re not good enough for her son, that’s her problem. You’re more than good enough. But you need to move on now. Just like I told him at the gal—”

  “What?”

  He shook his head and stood quickly. “Nothing. But remember you’re—”

  “Wait, no. Back up. What were you going to say?”

  He plopped back onto the chair opposite me and ran his hands through his hair. “He was at the gallery. On your opening night.”

  I widened my eyes. “What?”

  “He was going to come and speak to you but…I advised him against it.”

  I clenched my fists and spoke through gritted teeth. “You did what?”

  Holding his hands up in surrender, he tried to explain his reasoning. “Look, Star, it was for the best. All he does is break your heart, love. I can’t watch him do that to you again. Not for a third time. You deserve better. Don’t you agree?”

  The bottom suddenly plummeted from my whole world. “And…he just…he walked away?” Tears overflowed from my eyes, and I wrapped my arms around myself.

  Alec nodded, his eyes now filled with sadness as he reached out toward me, and unable to touch me, rested his hand on the table. “I think he knows it was for the best too, darling.”

  It hurt like hell, but he was right. If Fin had wanted me, he would’ve fought for me when his parents attacked me, and he would’ve ignored Alec’s advice and come to me anyway.

  So that was it.

  We were definitely over.

  It was time to move on, after all, and New York was a good way to do that.

  Fin

  After walking away from the opening night of Star’s exhibition, I was plagued with dreams about her. She was all I could think about. I was enjoying the work at McKendrick Law, but over the past few weeks, my mind was everywhere except on my work. I should have been concentrating on the Inveresk case, seeing as my father had hinted at a possible loophole to get the case overturned. But it was something I couldn’t bring myself to do. For starters, I would have had to figure out the loophole myself. There was no way I could ask him for help after the way I had responded to him after Star left the charity ball. His treatme
nt of her was totally unacceptable, and I would never forgive him for that. I lost her that night because of him, and I was unsure how I would ever win her back. If I could win her back.

  The guys from Hydde and I had begun writing our own songs, and we’d been booked for a few more gigs on the back of our first one in the city, thanks to Lily Macrae and her rave review. The only problem was that Star’s face appeared every time I closed my eyes, and every song I had penned in the weeks since I’d last seen her echoed the melancholy that tugged at me deep inside.

  After several attempts to make her listen to me, I’d had to admit defeat and give things time. I’d talked it through with Tom and Siân, and also with the band. They’d all said the same thing. Allowing the dust to settle would give her a chance to think it all through. Maybe that would result in her giving me a chance to explain. I certainly hoped it would.

  Although things changed dramatically in a very short space of time.

  It was the first Saturday in August, and I was getting ready to play with the guys at Bannerman’s underneath South Bridge. It was a great club with a fantastic atmosphere, and the rest of the band was excited about playing there. My heart wasn’t in it, but it was a night when we would be showcasing some of our original material in amongst the covers we loved.

  I was showered and ready. The nerves were jangling, and my heart ached at the fact that my favourite supporter was no longer in my life. I could have done with her calming presence and loving words of encouragement.

  As I was about to leave, I noticed an envelope on my doormat. It was late in the afternoon, so I figured it had been delivered by hand. I scrunched my brow and opened it quickly in case it was something important. The envelope was typed, and when I pulled out the folded pages, they were too.

  I began to read and my heart almost stuttered to a halt…

  Dear Fin,

  How do I start this letter and explain all the changes that have happened in my life recently? It’s been a rollercoaster. The exhibition was a great success, but I’m sure you heard all about that from Tom.

  On the night of the exhibition, I was presented with an offer I simply can’t refuse. A gallery in New York wants to exhibit my work. It’s a huge opportunity for me, and so I’m sure you can understand my eagerness to accept it.