by Amy Noelle
“I don’t want you to be honorable.”
“Is that so? What do you want me to be?”
That was a very loaded question. All sorts of images flashed in my mind. Josh in a fireman’s suit, Josh in a Navy uniform, Josh in a leather jacket straddling a motorcycle . . . none of those were as good as Josh sitting on my couch in a T-shirt and shorts, smiling at me in that way that made me weak in the knees.
“Naked.” That was the only way to improve on my reality. His chuckle moved through me.
“I love that about you.”
Love. My heart hammered. “What?”
“That you’ll just come out and tell me what you want. And that what you want, ninety-nine percent of the time, is me.” He looked quite smug about it.
It was true, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to deny it. “It’s more like fifty percent you, fifty percent food.”
“Hmm, well, we haven’t eaten yet. Do you want dinner? Or me?”
Like that was even a choice? I pretended to think about it, and he pouted. “Well, we could order dinner. That way, you could do me, then we could eat.”
He laughed and shifted on the couch to grab my phone. He knew by now that I had every restaurant on speed dial. “I like the way you think. What are you in the mood for?”
Him. Only him. “Pizza. Call Luigi’s.” They took longer to deliver than the other pizza place.
“Pepperoni and mushrooms?” How well he knew me. While he called Luigi’s, I whipped off my shirt. He coughed. “Uh, yes, we’d like an extra-large pepperoni and mushroom pizza and . . . uh . . .” I ground myself against him, and he groaned. “That will be all. Yes, delivery. Cash. Great. See you then.” He tossed my phone onto the recliner and then his hands were on my breasts. “You’re going to kill me.”
“Only if you don’t take me right now. I’m hungry.”
“Me, too.” His lips were hard on mine as he boosted us both off the couch. “Off, now.” I let go of him and hurriedly slipped out of my shorts while he shed his, along with his T-shirt. As soon as he was naked, I shoved him back on the couch and climbed on top of him. His hands returned to my breasts, and he squeezed gently as I rubbed myself against him.
“Nic, if you keep doing that I’m going to explode. Then you’ll be hungry for a while, since food’s on the way.” His teeth were gritted and he was moving himself against me, trying to get inside.
It was a valid point. No way was I waiting until after dinner to have him. I lifted myself and started to sink down on top of him, but he held me still, much to my utter surprise. “Condom?”
I really needed to stash them in every room. We’d christened the kitchen, living room and, of course, my bedroom. The only room that was still virginal was the bathroom, and that was because who wanted to have shower sex with a condom on?
“I’m on the pill.” He knew that. He’d seen me taking it. “And I’m clean.” And this was a shitty time to be having this discussion.
“Are you sure?” he asked, studying me closely.
“Of course I’m sure,” I said, a little pissed off. “I get tested every year, and I’ve never gone without before.” I was ready to just say fuck it and get dressed, but he tightened his grip.
“I meant, are you sure you want to go without? I’m clean, too, and I haven’t been with anybody since I last got tested. I just know that you’ve never . . .” He swallowed. “It means a lot that you’d trust me like that.”
I did. And I wanted him. At least, I wanted him again now that I knew he wasn’t insulting me. “I do trust you.”
His smile could have lit the whole room. He moved against me again, and I was done talking. I repositioned us and sank down onto him. It felt different this way. Better. There was nothing between us. I could feel all of him, and he could feel all of me.
I moved my hips, squeezing him and releasing him as I rode him. “Nicole.” I loved when he said my name like that. His voice was almost reverent. I sped up my movements and bent to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to him, stilling me for the moment. “This is amazing.”
It was. I kissed him again before boosting myself back up and taking him faster. His hands were on my hips, and he was thrusting up to meet me. He slid his right hand around and rubbed my clit as I rode him faster. I bent to grip his shoulders, and he took my nipple into his mouth. I gripped him tightly and came as he flicked my nipple with his tongue. Then he bit me lightly as he came inside me. I collapsed, and he held me to him as we both struggled to catch our breath.
“I think we need to do that again,” I said, and he chuckled. I loved making him laugh when we were connected, because I could feel it all through me.
“Yes, we do, but even I need some time to regroup. Plus, dinner will be here soon.”
I lifted my head and grinned at him. “I meant later. In the shower.”
He smirked. “Well, we do need to clean up after this little interlude. I guess I could share my shower with you.”
I poked him in his chest as I lifted myself up. “It’s my shower, buddy.” But surprisingly, I didn’t really feel territorial about it. I was happy to share with him. He just sort of fit here.
“Well, if you want me in it, it’s our shower.”
Ours. The word made me feel warm all over. “Okay, ours.” The phone buzzed. “That’ll be the pizza.”
I gave the doorman the okay to buzz him in, and Josh sat up and kissed me. “Put some clothes on. I’m not sharing my woman with the pizza guy.”
I grabbed my clothes and squealed as he smacked my ass. Then I dashed out of the room just as he was pulling on his shorts to answer the door.
His woman. Our shower. I could get used to that.
Chapter 26
I missed him. I missed him, and it was all his fault. He’d maneuvered it so that we were more or less living together for over a week. Then he’d been sent to San Francisco to finalize the deal with Starfire, and now I was lying in bed alone.
In the not-so-distant past, I’d have been quite content to have my bed to myself and my boys. Win was curled up at my side, and Hunt was on Josh’s pillow. But I couldn’t sleep. How could so much change in a week’s time?
He’d done this. Josh was the devil. A handsome, sexy devil, but a devil all the same. It had all seemed like it was going to be so simple. Once I’d stopped fighting him, we could date and have great sex. Never did I factor in wanting to be with him twenty-four/seven. I should be valuing this time alone, but instead I was wishing he was here so we could talk about how our days sucked without each other. At least mine sucked without him. His better have, too. He’d be back in three days, but it felt like he’d already been gone for weeks instead of just hours.
My phone rang with the sounds of Donna Lewis, and I snatched it up before it got past the line about his blue eyes.
“Hello.” Somehow I managed to sound cool, even though he had to know I’d pounced on the phone.
“Hey. I didn’t know if you’d be awake or not.”
Of course I was awake. I couldn’t sleep without him now. He’d changed me, and I wasn’t sure if it was for the better or not. “Well, I’m in bed, but I’m not sleeping.”
He laughed. “Then what are you doing?”
Absolutely nothing. I’d spared BOB a brief glance, but he wasn’t going to cut it now that I’d had Josh. “Cuddling with my two favorite men.”
“Oh yeah? Good thing I’m not the jealous type. Wait. You only have two favorite men? I don’t even make the list?”
Jerk. He was the list, and he knew it. “You might be a distant third. No, fourth. I forgot about my dad.”
He chuckled. “As long as I’m in the top five.”
“No problem there,” I said, irritated that I was aching for him. Not even for sex, although I wanted that, too. I just wanted him here. “How’s San Francisco?”
“Lonely. I wish you were here. It’s a beautiful city.” I wanted to be. And I loved that he wished I was.
&nbs
p; “I bet. How’d the meeting with Starfire go?”
“Negotiations are going well. We’ve got some details to fine tune, but they’re definitely ready to set us loose on their laptop and MP3 player. The televisions and the tablet are still in the works, but they’re talking about finalizing the contracts for those while I’m here, which would be fantastic.”
No doubt it would. “You really did it. I’m so proud of you.”
He laughed. “We did it. I may have gotten the contract, but you’re the one who impressed them and has them coming back for more.”
“Anybody could do what I did. It was you who charmed them.”
“Nic, don’t sell yourself short. I told you you’re the best, and I meant it. We wouldn’t be here without you.”
He always knew what to say. It would be annoying if it wasn’t wonderful. “Well, I’m glad to be a part of it. And I’m glad they appreciate you.”
“They’d love to appreciate you, let me tell you. I showed Mickey, one of the engineers, your picture, and suddenly all of them have managed to bring you up and wonder if you might like to tour the company sometime to better understand what they do.” He sounded irritated and jealous.
“Well, in that case, maybe I should pack my bag and head on out. I’d really like a tour,” I said very breathily.
“I’ll give you a tour, woman,” he said. I giggled. I couldn’t help it. I loved working him up. And having him work me up. God, I missed him.
“You’re my favorite tour guide,” I said.
“I’m your only tour guide, and it’s staying that way. Stupid engineers.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. “Now, don’t go blowing a multimillion-dollar deal by getting pissy about some nerdy engineer wanting your girl.”
“My girl, huh?” He sounded much happier. “I won’t blow the deal, I promise. I just miss you already, and it hasn’t even been a whole day yet.”
He could admit it so easily. My turn. “I miss you, too. I don’t think I can fall asleep without you. How’d you manage that so quickly?”
“More of my natural talents, baby. I’m sorry you can’t sleep. I promise to call you every night at bedtime. Maybe that’ll help?”
I smiled. “Couldn’t hurt. As long as yours is the last voice I hear at night, it might work.” He made some sound. “Josh? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I really liked that. I wish your voice could be the last sound I hear, too, but that would mean going to bed at nine, which is a bit early.”
“True.” I thought about it. “Tell you what. When we get off the phone, I’ll call you back, but don’t answer. I’ll leave you a message, and you can play it right before bed.” Oh my God. When did I become such a girl? “I mean, if you want me to, or whatever.”
“I’d love that more than I can say.” Well, good. I guess my being a ridiculous girl made him happy. “I actually have to go meet a couple of the guys for drinks in a few minutes.”
A little surge of jealousy went through me when I thought of him in some bar being hit on by beautiful Californians. I watched television. I knew what those girls looked like.
“I hope you have fun.”
“I’d have more fun if I was home with you.”
And suddenly, I wasn’t irritated anymore. “Just a couple more days.”
“Thursday I’m all yours. Sleep well, beautiful. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“You, too. I’m calling back in a second. Don’t answer your phone.”
He laughed. “It’s going to be hard not to, but I’ll wait. Good night, Nic.”
“Night, Josh.”
We disconnected, and I redialed before I could think about what I wanted to say. Moron. Well, I’d have to play it by ear. I listened to his greeting and waited for the beep.
“Hi, Josh. It’s me. Nicole. You knew that, though, because I told you I was calling and because you have caller ID. And this is already a lame message. What was I thinking? I guess that’s the problem. You make it so I can’t think when you’re with me, and when you’re not, all I can do is think. I wish I could just turn off my brain and not worry about things. I need you back so I can. I hope you had fun with the engineers and didn’t drink too much. I miss you, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”
What was that? His voice was like a damn truth serum. Even his recorded voice. God, I was an idiot. Well, it was done now.
It was almost eleven, so I sent out a quick mass text to see who was up.
Can’t sleep. Which one of you is going to entertain me?
Mandy answered first.
I can’t sleep because my son is teething and screaming. Want me to bring him over?
I felt sick just thinking about it.
No, thanks. Carry on with your night. Enjoy motherhood!
I knew that would piss her off.
Die, bitch. You can’t sleep because the hottest man in the world isn’t by your side for a night. I hate you in every way.
I laughed. I did have it good in comparison, though I knew Mandy wouldn’t trade her kid for the world.
It is a tough life. I haven’t gotten to see his naked body in like seventeen hours.
I was walking a fine line. She might actually kill me.
Don’t taunt me. You won’t give the deets and you won’t take a picture, so you aren’t allowed to whine about it! Go to bed. I’ll talk to you again someday, maybe.
I laughed. Enough with her. Kim had texted.
You have me for about half an hour. Finishing up a campaign I have to present in the morning. What’s up?
Thank God. I needed her or Jen, and I knew Jen was probably with Ryan.
How’s it possible to be already addicted to someone after only a week? I can’t turn off my mind and go to sleep without him.
They were all floored that Josh and I were doing so well cohabiting. Kim had almost come over to check on me when I’d stopped calling them every night to talk about Josh. My lack of calls and texts had concerned her until Jen told her why I was so preoccupied.
It’s possible when it’s the right person. That you didn’t call me freaking out when he brought over his suitcase was all I needed to know.
It was irritating that she’d expected me to freak out, even if I had, internally. And outwardly with Josh. But he’d made the nerves go away with his magic voodoo thing, and now I wanted him here to make them go away again.
What exactly did it tell you? That I’ve become a crazy person?
I was crazy. Crazy about him. I wanted to hate it, but I wasn’t quite able to, and that bugged me, too.
You’ve always been a crazy person. You’re just crazy for all the right reasons, finally.
Why was everyone always speaking in riddles these days?
What does that even mean?
She’d better answer me.
You know what it means. Stop being stubborn and admit it to yourself, then admit it to Josh.
Josh already knows I’m crazy.
He liked that about me.
Stop being so obtuse. Jen said you wouldn’t accept it if we told you. She already tried and thought you’d end up in the hospital. You have to figure it out for yourself even though it’s obvious to us and likely to you, as well. Nobody does denial like you, Nic.
Damn it. Not her, too. I didn’t love Josh. I just cared about him. I liked him a hell of a lot. Wasn’t that enough for everybody?
Really? Can’t a girl just be content with a guy, have a great time, have mind-blowing sex, and go on with her day? Does it always have to be more?
Just because it was for them didn’t mean it was for me. I was different than the rest of them. Always had been, always would be.
Of course. But if that’s all she was doing, she wouldn’t be lying in bed whining about his not being there.
Stupid Kim and her logic. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep now, with this crap swimming in my head.
I dislike you.
Maybe I should take some nighttime cold m
edicine. I’d be groggy as hell in the morning, but nobody would see me anyway. I’d be holed up in our office all alone. So far, I hated working on copy without him looking over my shoulder. I was doing a decent enough job without him there to guide me through things, but I far preferred his presence.
You love me. Just like you love Josh. Maybe if you admit it, you’ll get some sleep. Good night, stubborn pain-in-the-ass.
Ugh!
Good-night evil, know-it-all bitch.
I shoved my phone back on the nightstand and scowled. It was entirely possible to miss someone without loving them, wasn’t it? I was just used to him being here, and now he wasn’t, so it felt weird. That was all.
Josh was smart and funny, and he made me laugh a lot, so of course I missed that. And he tended to play with my hair at night when I lay my head on his chest, which felt good and made me tingly and tired. So of course I missed that, too.
He had amazing hands, and he’d given me several back massages already. Damn right I missed that. And he could make me orgasm in a minute flat if he wanted to. Why wouldn’t I miss him? He left me gasping and breathless when he made love to me. He tired me out, so I was able to sleep like a baby.
He looked really cute when he was sleeping. I woke before he did on the weekdays, and I’d watch him now and then. His hair would fall into his eyes and when I’d brush it back, I swear it made him smile in his sleep.
Were they right? Falling for him was not part of the plan. We had about a month left and, even if this contract came through, we might not be able to work together. New York would want him back. He had other accounts to land and customers to baby. He was constantly answering e-mails and making phone calls about other work. They might just make him go back to New York and have him e-mail me the information.
He hadn’t even been gone a day, and I was freaking out. What was I going to do if he was gone for months at a time? It would end. I knew it would. I’d annoy him, he’d end it, and he wouldn’t even have to look me in the eye when he did.
My phone beeped, and I thought about ignoring it if Kim was going to give me more shit. Or Jen. It beeped again, but I couldn’t just let it go.
