The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  Trey whistled. “Must be nice to be famous.”

  James grunted. “It’s annoying as shit most of the time, but at least it helped here.”

  The other men chuckled.

  Mack turned to Trey. “You ever been to Del Mar?”

  Trey shook his head. “Nope.”

  “It’s a nice place, and the cookoff is right on the water, so it’ll be a cool place to cook. The guys will love it.”

  “Okay, Mack, James, you’ve sold me.” Trey shrugged. “And I’ll sell it to the boys.” He glanced down at his watch. “I’ve got some shit to take care of still tonight, and I’ve got a tactical room to help clean up tomorrow. We about done here?”

  James nodded. “Yeah.”

  The junior bounty hunter rose and gave a mock salute. “See you around. Sergeant. Big man.” He headed to the front door, stepped outside, and closed it softly behind him.

  Mack stared at the door for a moment. “I would never have believed it last year, you know. It’s almost a miracle.”

  “Believed what?”

  “Trey Garfield and his boys all being right and proper with the law.” The cop blew out a breath. “Not saying they were ever true garbage like the Demon Generals or some of the other local gangs, but they were moving that way. Maybe a year more, and they would have been serious trash. I think if they had been in any other neighborhood, they might have started doing stuff they couldn’t come back from. You were here, so they couldn’t act up too much.”

  “No one can change the past. Just have to keep moving forward. They’re all good bounty hunters now. Hell, if anything, they’re more restrained than I am. They haven’t killed anyone yet, and some of those assholes really have it coming.”

  “For a man who always claims he doesn’t care about anything unless there’s a bounty involved, you’ve sure done a lot to help the community.”

  “I’m still a bounty hunter. I just realized that a few more people having my back isn’t a bad thing.” James shrugged. “And helping lead Trey and his boys to kick bounty ass was easy. It’s not like I’m sending them all to become rock stars or some shit.”

  Mack laughed. “True enough. Just saying, Brownstone, no problem having a little pride in what you’ve done. You’re slowly cleaning up L.A. I heard some AET types talking the other day about how a lot of high-level bounties won’t even show up now because they’re afraid of you.”

  “Good. They should be afraid.” He glowered at the floor.

  “If we end up with a city where an army of Brownstone-affiliated bounty hunters controls half the crime and your reputation keeps the big freaks out of town, the cops can do the rest. We can become the safest damned city in the United States.’

  James grunted and shrugged. “I just do what I do. I don’t have any big plans.”

  “Don’t want to run for mayor someday or something? It’s like Trey said. You’re famous.” Mack shrugged.

  The bounty hunter grimaced. “Politics? I’d sooner hunt nothing but level-six monsters in the sewer for the rest of my life. At least they’re honest about being scum.”

  “Good answer.” Mack grinned. “Oh, I also have to thank you for something else.”

  “What?”

  “Heather.”

  The bounty hunter furrowed his brow. “What about her?”

  “She’s a model renter. No complaints, paid several months in advance, and, you know, I like the idea that I’m helping a single mom. Not that I didn’t like helping you, but your daughter wasn’t living with you at the time. I’ve had trouble in the past with that unit. It helps that I’m a cop, so people don’t want to get too rowdy, but with you and now her it’s been damned easy.”

  James nodded. “Glad to hear that. She’s had a tough time, and moving here is helping her start her life over.”

  “Fine by me. Almost makes me want to look into getting some more apartments to rent out. It’d be nice to have some additional income when I retire. I just need twelve more like Heather, and I could buy an entire apartment complex.”

  The bounty hunter shook his head. “Sounds annoying and complicated.”

  “Most things worth doing are, Brownstone.”

  Shay blinked her eyes open. No headache, no pain. The spell must have just been simple sleep magic. Her hands were bound in handcuffs, and her legs tied.

  I never thought the assholes would hit the museum that quickly. The exhibit just opened. I wish I’d brought my magical lockpick.

  She looked around. Maria lay next to her, unconscious. From the looks of things they were in the back of a large van, but no one else was there or anything but a few reflectors.

  Not much to work with. Damn, hate it when the other guys are thorough.

  Shay peered closer at Maria’s cuffs. A light glow surrounded them.

  Fuck. Magically locked. I’ll give these guys credit. They’re really good. Don’t even know if my lockpick would have worked against them.

  A man’s voice drifted from the front. “Why did we have to get stuck carrying these bitches? They were out already when we grabbed them. Should have left them there.”

  “The boss says they’re out of place. Plus, they might be witnesses.”

  “Out of place?” The first man snorted. “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “Four guards in there, all in uniform, and two random women? They don’t look like museum people. Something about them made the boss worry. Just be glad we only had to carry two, and not them plus the guards. Those guys were real heavy, at least according to Joey’s bitching.”

  Shay grimaced. The worst thing you could run into were intelligent criminals. Getting rid of the lieutenant’s badge and their IDs had at least delayed identification, which would give them time. Maybe they wouldn’t care about someone who was officially a professor, but a cop probably wouldn’t last long.

  “Whatever,” the second criminal muttered. “I want to finish this job and get the hell out of this city. I’ve got money to spend.”

  The two men fell quiet. The van pulled to a stop, and Shay heard a metal warehouse door opening. Shay knew the sound all too well from her own warehouses.

  Okay, so we’re already at a drop point or a base, but the guy said he wanted to get the hell out of the city. So we’re still in LA. Probably means Maria and I were out for less than two hours. If we’re still in LA, I still have a chance of calling James in if I can’t figure out a way out of this myself.

  The van pulled forward and then stopped again. It shook for a moment as the two men exited, and the slamming of their doors confirmed it seconds later.

  Maria opened her eyes and scowled. She took in the back of the van and scowled harder.

  “Two men up front,” Shay whispered. “From what I heard, they mainly took us because they thought we looked out of place, but they’ve got all the night guards, too. That means whoever is organizing this is worried about loose ends.”

  “Why the hell did you throw all my stuff away?” Maria lifted her head to glare at her. “We might have had a chance.”

  “They came in with magic. Come on, you’re AET. You know better. Do you take on enhanced threats with your 9mm? It’s a peashooter against serious magic, not a railgun. Besides, I saw the guard go down and figured a sleep spell was coming. Even if you had a railgun, it wouldn’t do you any good asleep.”

  Maria sighed and let her head fall back on the rubber mat on the floor of the van. “The badge? My wallet? Your purse? What was getting rid of all that about?”

  Shay shrugged, which made the cuffs tug on her wrists. “Didn’t want them to ID us. As long as they don’t know what’s up with either of us, we have a better chance of staying alive. “We don’t want them to know who you are, in particular. My identity’s hidden a little better.”

  “Then who I am supposed to be? A junior tomb raider?”

  Shay snickered. “Sorry. Already have an apprentice.”

  Maria rolled her eyes.

  Shay took a deep breath. “Don’t
worry. I’ve got a plan, but I’ll need you to trust me.”

  “I already disarmed myself at your request. That’s some pretty fucking major trust. If you get me killed, I’m going to haunt your ass until you get killed, and then Brownstone after that.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not getting killed in some skeevy warehouse by these assholes. I’ve got too much pride for that.”

  Someone slammed a door nearby. They didn’t have much time.

  Shay locked eyes with Maria. “Here’s my plan…”

  Mack gave James a wave and closed the door behind him.

  The bounty hunter yawned and looked down at his phone. It was almost ten. It’d been a good night of barbeque planning and talking with two men he now considered friends.

  He frowned.

  Shay said she would be out with Hall, but I didn’t figure she’d be this late, and she knew we were staying at my place tonight.

  James picked up his phone to check for calls or texts he might have missed. Nothing. The last text he’d received from Shay hours ago concerned her threat of going to the most unholy of restaurants, a vegetarian place.

  Some things just shouldn’t exist.

  “A little text wouldn’t hurt. If anything, it might stop them from whatever they’re planning to do to me. According to the podcast, more communication will show I care.”

  Hey, Shay. When are you coming home?

  The bounty hunter made a quick trip to the kitchen to grab a bottle of Irish Dry Stout before returning to his living room. He took a few sips of his beer and lifted his phone.

  Still no response.

  Maybe she’s out dancing. Some sort of girls’ night.

  James grunted. If Shay wanted to party, that was fine, and if Maria Hall or any of Shay’s other friends could save him from having to go dancing, that made him really happy. His most recent experience with forced clubbing by Shay had only reminded him how annoying it was to be in a crowded place with loud music.

  At least at the Leanan Sídhe, they didn’t pound into your skull with their stereo.

  What the fuck do I do? Should I go to bed, or will she be pissed if I go to bed without her? I don’t want to fuck this up. Wait, maybe Alison could give me some advice.

  James grunted. It was too late to call Alison, given the time zone difference. Not only that, she’d texted him earlier to say she would be very busy the next few days with the school year starting up.

  Muttering, the bounty hunter picked up his remote control and turned on the TV. Maybe a halfway-decent cooking show was on and could distract him for a few minutes.

  A harried-looking male reporter appeared on the screen in front of the Los Angeles Museum of Natural History. The TV was muted.

  “Huh. They doing a story on those artifacts?”

  James frowned. That didn’t seem right. It was night, and a dozen cop cars with flashing lights surrounded the museum. His gaze dipped to the chyron.

  Breaking news: Daring theft of Oriceran artifacts from the Los Angeles Natural History Museum.

  The bounty hunter turned on the sound.

  The reporter held his microphone close to his face. “Details are still being released about a brazen robbery some are already calling the crime of the century. The four night guards aren’t accounted for, and blood was found on the scene. We’ve received conflicting reports about other potential kidnap victims, but the police are being very tight-lipped about that at this time, along with exactly what’s been taken. They’ve verified that the Oriceran artifact exhibit was indeed the target of this crime, and they have confirmed that magic was used in the commission of the robbery.”

  James muted the TV and grunted. He believed in God, not coincidence. Shay had mentioned checking out the museum, and a bunch of magical artifacts sounded just like the kind of thing Lieutenant Hall would worry about and go poke her nose into.

  He picked up his phone, wondering if he could call the police, but shook his head. If anything had happened to Shay, he would spill so much blood the Pacific Ocean would turn red, and he couldn’t have any cops getting in his way.

  Even if she hadn’t been hurt, the cops had too many restrictions and procedures to follow. They were good men and women, but they could be too slow because of those rules.

  He marched over to his door and pulled his keys off a pegboard.

  James patted the amulet underneath this shirt.

  You’re gonna get to come out real soon, I think.

  8

  Tyler whistled and shook his head as he watched the news report on the robbery. “Wonder if any of those level fours had anything to do with that?”

  He frowned. It always annoyed him when something big happened and he couldn’t find a way to make money off it. He’d gotten too dependent on Brownstone. He needed to diversify his revenue streams.

  A hush fell over the bar, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

  Shit. What now?

  The bartender slowly turned around to find James Brownstone standing in front of him.

  Of course. Can’t think of the Devil without him appearing.

  “We need to talk,” the bounty hunter rumbled.

  Yeah, this is going to do wonders for my rep of being his bitch. You know what? Fuck them. Besides, just because I need more revenue streams doesn’t mean I should ignore the one that walked right up to me.

  Tyler offered him a grin. “Most times we talk lately, I make money.” He gave a quick nod to Kathy and headed toward the hallway. “Come on, Brownstone. Let’s talk in private.”

  The bounty hunter strode behind him, his eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. Tyler swallowed.

  Fuck. Did I do something to piss him off? He looks like he wants to kill someone. I haven’t done shit to him. I’ve bent over backward to be nice.

  Tyler led Brownstone into his office, and both men took a seat.

  “What’s up, Brownstone?”

  James grunted. “Do you know where Lieutenant Hall is?”

  Tyler shrugged. “Not really.”

  “But you have a way of getting in contact with her?” The bounty hunter’s heavy gaze unsettled the information broker.

  Tyler dialed her normal number. After several rings, it went to voicemail.

  He hesitated, then pulled another phone out of his desk.

  She said this was supposed to be in case of emergencies, but Brownstone looking like he’s going to murder me is most definitely a damned emergency.

  He dialed and waited. It rang and rang. No response.

  What, no voicemail on the emergency phone? Useless.

  “Shit,” Tyler muttered, licking his lips. He needed to give Brownstone something if he wanted to survive the next few minutes. “She’s not answering. I don’t know what to tell you, Brownstone. All I can do is call her. It’s not like we live together.”

  Brownstone grunted, the murderous gleam in his eye intensifying. “Fine, if you don’t know where she is, do you know where she was supposed to be?”

  Tyler snorted. “I deal in information, not stalking. What the fuck is this about, Brownstone? I thought we had some sort of truce semi-partnership thing going on, and now you’re storming in here acting like you’re going to kick my ass.”

  The bounty hunter jerked his thumb in the general direction of the main bar. “You were watching the news about the robbery when I came in.”

  “Yeah, what of it? I didn’t know shit about it if that’s what you’re asking. That’s kind of a sore point, if you really want to know.”

  Brownstone hands curled into fists. “I can’t get hold of Shay. She told me earlier she was gonna check out that museum, and later she texted me to say she needed to help Hall with something. Now the news is mentioning someone might have been kidnapped. You put the fucking puzzle together.”

  Tyler ran a hand through his hair. “Shit, shit, and more shit. You’re serious?”

  “Do I fucking look like I’m joking?”

  The information broker stared at Brow
nstone and took in the anger in the other man’s face. The bounty hunter had killed hundreds of men over the murder of his dog. If someone killed his girlfriend, LA might be in its final days of existence. Still, there were other considerations, and it was up to Tyler to point them out.

  He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Look, Brownstone, we can’t assume that they were grabbed from the museum. For all we know, they’re at a Chippendales show enjoying beefcake on the side.”

  Brownstone’s only response was a deep grunt.

  Shit. I think I’m making it worse. Does the end of LA start with the end of my bar?

  Tyler held up a hand. “I don’t know much about your woman, but she’s your woman, which means she probably kicks ass. And just from what I’ve seen, she’s tough.”

  Brownstone nodded. “She knows how to take care of herself. Not denying that.”

  “Exactly, and I’ve seen Maria take on guys bigger than her in this very bar. Even without her armor and guns, she’s tough. Tougher than me, honestly.” Tyler shrugged. “So I’m not even sure we should try to save them. And that’s assuming they even were kidnapped.”

  “What the fuck are you saying?” Brownstone growled.

  Tyler held up a hand. “Hear me out. They might already be handling this and kicking the shit out of everyone who dared lay a finger on them. If we go riding in there on our white horses, they’ll just laugh their asses off at us. We’ll piss them off and accomplish nothing.”

  Brownstone shrugged. “They will always be laughing at us for being dumbasses. What’s new about that? I’m never gonna apologize for protecting my woman. What about you? You a man, or a cowardly piece of shit who’ll leave his woman in the cold rather than risk his ass?”

  Tyler stared at the bounty hunter, his mouth open. He wanted to be pissed, but the rebuke stung. He gritted his teeth.

  I should just leave it to him. This isn’t my problem. Maria’s just a friend and a cop. Maybe a business acquaintance. Not some intelligent, sexy, kick-ass woman I dream about.

  “Fuck!” Tyler shouted. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Okay, I fucking admit it. I’ve got it bad for Maria, okay? You happy?” He slammed a hand on the desk. “Fucking feelings. Useless. No money in them.”