The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus

by Michael Anderle

  Trey shook his head, still laughing. “Y’all are terrible at names.”

  “What about you, then?” Lachlan asked. “What great fucking name you got, Trey?”

  The other man shrugged. “I don’t have a good name, so I’m keeping my mouth fucking shut.”

  James arrived at the start of the course. He knelt and ruffled the dog’s ears, then pointed to the steak. “Just follow me, boy, and you can have that nice juicy steak.”

  The dog barked.

  James stood and jogged up the first ramp, and the dog shot after him. They proceeded over another ramp and a few tires before zigzagging through a series of cones and finishing up with a vault over low bars near the end of the course.

  The dog rushed over to the steak and started licking it after barking a few times.

  The men cheered.

  “That’s how you do shit,” Isaiah shouted.

  Trey grinned. “Your dog is damned smart, big man.”

  “Smarter than Lachlan,” Max offered.

  Lachlan frowned. “Fuck you.”

  James chuckled and knelt to pet the dog while the animal worked on the steak. “Still needs a name, but now that I’ve started getting some food in him, I should take him to the vet soon. Probably needs shots and shit. Also a microchip. Maybe I’ll take him tomorrow.”

  The dog lifted his head to bark and wag his tail.

  Max shrugged. “I’ve got a name. How about Lachlan 2.0?”

  Lachlan flipped him off.

  Shay stared into the mirror of her Alberta hotel room. She sighed and shook her head.

  Lily bounced on her bed a few times. “Problem?”

  “I wish I had precognition like you.”

  Lily snorted. “Yeah, it’s limited and totally unreliable. Other than that, it’s great. Love it.”

  The senior tomb raider sauntered over to the other bed and sat with a deep frown. “Every instinct in me is telling me something is wrong, and that James might still be in trouble.”

  “You sure this just isn’t you being overprotective?” Lily shrugged. “Not going to tell you your business, but it seems like you’re getting more and more protective of James. He’s your boyfriend, not your kid.”

  Shay sighed. “Maybe. Not gonna lie, I’m still not used to the nice feelings and giving a shit. I still don’t always know how to react.”

  Lily laughed. “And I thought I had issues with learning to trust.” She brushed a few strands of hair out of her gray eyes. “Why are you so convinced he’ll be in trouble? Because of that last raid?”

  Shay ran her tongue inside her cheek. “Everything just felt…too easy.”

  The teen stared at her, her mouth open. “Easy? Four wizards ambush James out of nowhere and hurt him, then you guys go have a fight with a bunch of weird-ass crazy monsters in the subway, and that’s easy? If those guys had shown up when I still lived in the tunnels, we’d have all been killed.”

  Shay shrugged. “That’s just what it means to hang out around James. We’ve taken down a lot of fucking deadly enemies together. Maybe that’s the problem.” She narrowed her eyes. “Something just doesn’t feel complete about all this—not until I see a few more bodies. Those guys smelled too much like cannon fodder.”

  Fuck. I hope I’m not freaking Lily out with this.

  Lily sighed. “I might have powers, but you have years of experience. If something’s not sitting well with you, maybe you should trust yourself, you know?” She took a deep breath. “Everything about the job is easy, or as easy as a tomb raid gets. I’m thinking it doesn’t take two tomb raiders to go into a mine with a few traps and grab an enchanted pickaxe.”

  Shay frowned and shook her head. “I don’t like the idea of leaving you just because I'm paranoid.”

  “Why not?” Lily smiled. “You already told me that I’m ready to solo. This is as good a tomb raid as any to try it. I’m in Canada, not an exotic country. I speak the language, or at least one of the languages, and getting the artifact through Customs will be easy because it just looks like a regular old item.”

  Shay stood and nodded. “You sure about this, Lily?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m ready.” She smiled. “You made me ready, Shay. I’m a tomb raider now. Go check on James. The worst thing that happens is you have extra time to go on a date.”

  Shay grinned. “I need to buy a new plane ticket.”

  18

  Kathy knelt on her couch, her laptop on the table in front of her, and stifled a yawn.

  What the fuck time is it? Five? Six?

  She looked at the clock.

  Fuck, it’s already 8:00 AM? I’ve been at this for hours. Maybe I should have taken that little nap last night like I was thinking.

  Kathy blinked her tired eyes a few times and continued scrolling through posts and checking her messages. There was an answer to find. There had to be. The Eyes couldn’t have sent her on a wild goose chase. Something awful was coming, and she needed to find, anticipate, and prevent it to prove herself to him. To prove something to herself.

  I’m better than anyone thinks.

  Tyler didn’t understand. He didn’t give a shit about anything but money. Being an information broker was just a way of gaining money, influence, and status for him.

  A puzzle lay before her now, and Kathy refused to let it defeat her. She picked up her coffee cup and downed some of the now-lukewarm brew. So what if she hadn’t gotten any sleep? The damned answer was still out there, hiding from her and taunting her.

  Her eyes scanned post after post as she looked for something—anything—that would give her a hint about what might be coming to Los Angeles.

  Maybe I need to hit up more informants. There’s got to be something more than a bunch of low-level bounties coming to town, but that’s all I can find.

  With a sigh, she closed the laptop and picked up her phone from the table. She rested it against her head, trying to figure out who she might possibly call. She needed someone who would not only know what they were doing but also had useful information.

  Kathy smirked. Tyler wasn’t the only one who had cultivated contacts.

  Two hours later, Kathy lay on her back with a throbbing headache. She’d called a dozen contacts, and no one had anything more useful than information about the same low-level bounties she already knew about. It was like the entire underworld was saying everything was hunky-dory in greater Los Angeles.

  Sure, gangs and organized crimes groups dealt drugs, murdered each other, and spread corruption, but that was all the normal nonsense everyone expected from a town that had been steeped in darkness long before magic had returned to the Earth. There weren’t even any rumors about any major gang wars coming. It was like after Brownstone finished off the last of the Council, all the bad guys in LA decided to keep things lowkey for a while.

  The Eyes is fucking with me. Trying to destroy me. If he can see into my head, he might know how I can’t leave a mystery alone. Well, fuck him. I’ll show him. I’ll find something that even he doesn’t fucking know about.

  Kathy sighed. Time for another longshot—some new players in town led by a teen named Harry. He and his little gang used to be tunnel rats, but they’d come into money in recent months. Rumor had it that one of them had hooked up with a tomb raider, and that was why they’d left the tunnels. Kathy even heard a few descriptions that made her think the tomb raider might be Shay.

  Why does everything in this city always come back to Brownstone or someone he knows? It’s like he’s the damned heart of Los Angeles.

  Kathy sighed and dialed Harry’s number. The phone rang several times.

  “Hello?” he answered finally.

  “This is Kathy. I wanted to know if you or any of your friends have heard anything interesting lately.”

  Harry chuckled. “Interesting? We hear a lot of interesting things. Can you narrow it down?”

  “Magically interesting. I don’t care about anything else. You know what? Less interesting—maybe a weird
rumor that everyone else is ignoring, but you and your little gang happened to pick up on.”

  Kathy didn’t care that desperation had crept into her voice. She hadn’t slept, and she hadn’t eaten anything since the night before. Right now, only one thing would satisfy her: an answer.

  Harry coughed a little. “Okay, I do have something. Nobody’s asked about it, so we haven’t volunteered it. It’s not that important from what I can tell, so I’ll let you have it for…a quarter of what I charged you last time. I’m telling you, though, it’s probably not worth it.”

  “But you’re still planning to charge me?”

  “Do you give away information for free?”

  Kathy snorted and threw open her computer, bringing up one of her crypto wallets. “Aren’t you the industrious one?” She entered the transfer information and hit Send. “I’ve done it.”

  “One sec.”

  The silence stretched for several long moments.

  Harry laughed. “Okay, thanks for the money. One of my friends was at Happy Magic Land Amusement Park the other day.”

  “Amusement park?” Kathy snickered. “Doing what? Trying to get a princess’ autograph?”

  “The reason isn’t important,” Harry replied flatly. “The thing is, while she was there she saw something weird. A couple of times. People with weird, flat expressions, sunglasses, and maybe glowing eyes, but she kept losing track of ‘em.”

  “That’s the big piece of information I just paid you for?”

  Harry chuckled. “I told you it probably wasn’t worth it. Just saying they were acting strange, and when one of us notices strange things, it should be hard to lose us while we’re watching. Maybe it’s some Oricerans just running around with a spell to make them look human, but that’s all I got. The tunnels have been clear since Brownstone did his thing. All quiet out there. Quiet for LA anyway.”

  Kathy scrubbed a hand over her face. “Okay, thanks. Enjoy your money.”

  “I will.”

  She ended the call and tossed the phone on the couch beside her.

  Kathy groaned and rested her face in her hands. That was the best she could come up with—weirdos at an amusement park? Tens of thousands of people visited the place each day. Just based on statistical probability, she expected a few strange people to show up, whether from Earth or Oriceran. Harry’s information proved nothing.

  She let out a long sigh and picked up her phone again. Maybe she’d failed the test, but this was the only lead she had. She pulled up the call history and dialed the number the Eyes had used when he’d called her after the shadow ambush.

  “Khalid’s Falafel Kingdom,” answered a loud, cheerful voice. “We’ve got the best falafels in all of LA. Your mom will cry with how good they are.”

  “Falafels?” Kathy blinked. “I’m looking for the Eyes.”

  “Huh? Look in the mirror. You’ll find some eyes there. Now do you want to place a falafel order or not?”

  Kathy groaned. “Sorry. Wrong number.”

  She hung up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Tyler had mentioned to her that the Eyes liked to constantly change phone numbers. He wasn’t sure if it was a security measure or a way of making people come to him, but that meant she only had one choice if she wanted to follow up on her stupid amusement park clue.

  She sniffed her sweat-soaked pajamas. “I need a shower first in case that asshole can actually smell.”

  An elf and a human guard in front of the Eyes’ room opened the doors. Given the way the human was leering at her, she would have preferred the gnomes.

  Kathy stepped into the smoke-filled room, her head throbbing. The painkillers hadn’t done much, and she suspected she’d suffer until she caught up on her sleep.

  Guess I’m not going to the Black Sun tonight.

  “Kathy. Brave little Kathy,” came the voice of the Eyes, seemingly from all around her.

  She turned slowly, looking for those familiar yet unsettling yellow eyes, but she couldn’t find them.

  “Be quick, girl. I’ve business I wish to attend to.”

  Not like I want to be here, asshole.

  Kathy took a deep breath. If she asked him a question, he’d just fuck with her. The only choice was to feign confidence.

  She plastered an arrogant smile on her face. “Something’s going to happen at Happy Magic Land Amusement Park.”

  A wheezing laugh sounded beside her. Kathy turned that way, but she still didn’t see him.

  “Clever girl, indeed.”

  Kathy shrugged. “I can find out things. What’s going to happen there?”

  “Why should I tell you?”

  She didn’t bother to hide her scowl. “Because it’s part of your damned test. The fucking danger you said is coming.”

  He let out another wheezing laugh. “Oh, you have no idea how delicious all this is proving.”

  Is he getting something out of fucking with me, or is he just enjoying it?

  Kathy turned. “If that’s it, then I’ve got to sleep. I mean, I’ve got shit to do.”

  “Mystery, Kathy,” the Eyes whispered. “The same lust for mystery sent you to a man you shouldn’t have been with in New York.”

  She snorted. “If that’s supposed to impress me, give it up. Just because I keep a low profile doesn’t mean I think no one knows what I’ve done before or where I came from.”

  A frigid touch brushed her neck, so cold it burned. Kathy hissed and spun around. This time, the yellow eyes were there.

  “You want to know about the park?” the Eyes wheezed. “I’ll tell you, but there’ll be a cost.”

  Kathy kept her face calm. “A cost? What cost?”

  “You’ll owe me.”

  “Owe you what?”

  He backed up. “The answer to one mystery in the future.”

  What the hell does that even mean? You know what, I’m too damned tired to care.

  Kathy shrugged. “Deal.”

  The Eyes chuckled. “Fine. To know the future is to alter the future. I’ll give you the information you want, but you’ll have to make a choice right now. Once I tell you you’ll fear for others, and I can see into you. I know you care too much about the lives of others.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I admit it, I’m not a heartless bitch.”

  “If I give you the information you need, you can’t go to the authorities. You will tell no authorities or those who will tell the authorities.” He let out a dark chuckle and wheezed. “If you do, I’ll kill you, and I’ll make you suffer greatly before you die.”

  Kathy swallowed. “What’s to stop me from walking away right now?”

  “If you do, others will suffer and die, and not by my hand.” The Eyes vanished and reappeared in a corner. “Not that it matters. Even if I didn’t dangle the lives of innocents, you’d want to know. You can’t stand it—not knowing. It’s a weakness and a strength.”

  Kathy fisted her hands, prepared to leave. She turned, ready to throw open the door, but she couldn’t make her feet move. “Fine. I agree to your terms.”

  “Good,” he rasped from behind her. “It’s simple. At noon at the amusement park death will come. Children will weep, victims of the Council’s last gasp of relevance.”

  Her eyes widened, and she glanced down at her watch. “Noon? That’s a little over an hour from now.”

  “Yes, and remember our deal. Solve the problem without the authorities or forfeit your life.”

  Kathy sat in her car, her head against the steering wheel, not sure what to do. The Council obviously was going to attack Happy Magic Land Amusement Park, but if she called the police and they sent AET she died. She thought about going to the park and trying to warn them, but they might immediately call the police.

  She had no idea about the exact nature of the attack, so it wasn’t like she could warn them off with a generic bomb threat or something. Even that would bring the police, and without more information, going there herself would be pointless.

  I’m in over my
head. Maybe Tyler will have an idea.

  Kathy lifted her head and grabbed her phone, ready to dial her boss before frowning.

  No, he’s dating an ex-cop. He’ll tell her right away, and she’ll demand the cops get involved.

  “Shit, shit, shit.” Kathy groaned and slumped in her seat. Her hair was a mess, and she had bags under her eyes the size of a Kilomea. “Damn, I’m a mess. Surprised that guy was even bothering to check me out.”

  There had to be someone who could take on the Council, wouldn’t ask for immediate payment from her, and wouldn’t feel the need to go to the cops right away.

  Her eyes widened, and she picked up her phone. She brought up her contacts list and dialed, her heart pounding.

  This has to work.

  “Yeah?” rumbled Brownstone on the other end.

  Kathy took a deep breath. She needed to project confidence, not desperation. “Brownstone, I have a little free tip I wanted to offer you.”

  “Free?” He grunted. “Why free?”

  Kathy let out a little chuckle. “Maybe I figure being on your good side would be useful.”

  “It hurts less. What’s your tip?”

  She sighed. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but there are a few other things I need to tell you first…”

  19

  Trey frowned as he picked up his chest armor.

  Should have known this Council shit wasn’t over. Fuckers going after an amusement park? They ain’t nothing but a bunch of weak-ass terrorist bitches. I can’t wait to put a few bullets in their faces.

  Trey strapped on his armor and put on his anti-magic deflector over it. The other men were gearing up as well, loading weapons or putting on armor. After grabbing a few grenades from a container near the wall, he glared at Isaiah in the corner.

  “Get your motherfucking gear on, bitch,” Trey growled. “We’re rolling soon, and we don’t have time to wait on your fat ass. Big man said war footing, so that means hurry the fuck up.”

  The other man blinked and rushed to his locker.