Always Wanted Forever

by Sarah Tork

  Something like that.

  Dad turned to me before making his way back to his rowdy friends. “Marisa, we’ll have a talk later, okay?”

  “Alright. Don’t worry, Dad. I’m not going to run anywhere anytime soon.” I told him, totally ignoring the other two.

  Dad nodded, and I chuckled as he quickly headed back to the open bar to get a new drink. He should have some fun; this was his party. He should be having lots and lots of fun.

  The spot I was in was the no-fun zone. Even at a party where it’s a requirement to be constantly laughing and soaking in good vibes, I was stuck in a horribly hidden interrogation with the terrible twosome.

  A.K.A. The Piranha Squad.

  I reluctantly returned my gaze back to the discerning eyes of my inquisitors to find Gwen eyeballing my entire body a bit too long and a bit too obviously. When her eyes finally settled back on to my face, she seemed confused. I could tell by the way her eyes narrowed, she was unconvinced for some reason.

  Like there had to be a reason as to why I looked nice, for once.

  “That is a lovely dress, Marisa. And the shoes are spectacular!” Gwen gushed, her eyes widening in mock excitement. Gwen turned to Mom. “Libby, you must have bought them for her to wear, this has your taste written all over it!”

  And there’s the total switch shift. It’s so amazing, that Marisa couldn’t have possibly been responsible for putting this ensemble together. It must have been someone who knew what they were doing….which wasn’t untrue….but still….I was offended to say the LEAST.

  I cut in before Mom could answer…or lie. “Actually, no. I bought them.”

  Gwen’s eyebrows rose again. “Wow, I guess wherever you work now must pay you well. A big difference from before, right?”

  She began to giggle knowingly. More stupidly, if you asked me.

  Mom’s eyebrows rose, but I think it was meant for me, even though her friend was acting like me wearing nice clothing was such a novelty, there must be something more to the story.

  The disbelief made my eye twitch… filling me with the courage to give them the low down, the dirty, the dish.

  I cleared my throat. “Actually, I’m not being completely honest with you guys about the dress and the shoes. I didn’t buy them.”

  Mom looked slightly confused. On the other hand, Gwen’s expression quickly morphed from confused to pure delight. Discreetly, of course, but I could see joy twinkle in her clear, aqua blue eyes. Gwen nodded in slow motion, as if it all made sense now in her ‘ah-ha’ moment.

  Or would it?

  I was about to spread that magic juice….

  I grinned and let the chaos break free. “Yeah, MY PIMP actually bought it for me yesterday.”

  “Marisa!” Mom hissed….sounding not so happy.

  I was trying to be honest.

  I thought that’s what they wanted.

  Jeez, you can’t please anyone these days, not even with the truth.

  I sighed. “Yeah, he just dropped me off out front twenty minutes ago_”

  “Marisa!” Mom hissed again.

  “Maybe I can introduce you guys when he picks me up later. I’ve got a late evening appointment I’ve got to get to after the party, and with the new service I offer, customers have been calling nonstop_”

  “Marisa!” Mom growled, eyes throwing daggers with her hands clamped into tight, boney fists.

  Mission accomplished.

  They wanted a piece of me? Well, how about now.

  Boom!

  Boom!

  Boom!

  Annihilated.

  A few chuckles spilled out, no matter how hard I tried to contain them, but this was too funny. I took another glance at the room while Mom struggled to backtrack from a potential meltdown. As for Gwen, she remained silent, perhaps in shock. I spotted Darcy sitting at a table in the back with the rest of the young people.

  “Oh, is that where I’ll be sitting?” I pointed to Darcy’s table in mock interest.

  “I cannot believe_” Mom fumed quietly.

  “I think I’ll go say hello, but we must have another chat later. This one was just so much fun. Alright, see you guys later.” I wiggled my fingers at the both of them, and made my way towards my thirteen-year-old sister, who was busy playing with her cellphone.

  “Libby, she was just joking,” Gwen told Mom, trying to console her quickly before she completely lost it.

  Aw, shucks, I did it again. I made my precious mother, who worked so hard to put this party together, upset. I was just so mean, just so inconsiderate of her feelings. When was I going to grow up and finally treat her with the respect she deserved?

  Might be a long time before that ever happened.

  “I cannot believe her, at her father’s birthday party!” Mom hissed uncontrollably, probably secretly basking happily at all the attention Gwen was giving her.

  “Hey Darcy!” I sang over her. Darcy’s head jerked up in surprise. Her brown eyes quickly finding mine as a huge smile spreads across her face.

  “Marisa! You actually came!” Darcy grinned, hugging me from her seat. I took the empty seat next to her and hugged her again. I missed my baby sis.

  “As I said I would, little sister! Where’s Cam?” I asked, taking a quick look around the room to see if I could spot him.

  “He went with Johnny to get a soda,” Darcy explained, putting her phone down on the table. Johnny was Ben’s fourteen-year-old brother. I gazed over at the girl sitting next to Darcy, Jennifer, Ben’s twelve-year-old little sister.

  Oh, those two women, they just loved having the same amount of kids, didn’t they? Coordinating amounts by gender, perhaps we were matched at birth, a huge three-way wedding.

  As for their dreams, they’d been talking about it since first meeting a million years ago in the late eighteen hundreds. Mom and Gwen had a plan.

  And I ruined it.

  CHAPTER 12

  Twenty minutes later, I was so thirsty and hungry the room was shifting. When Cameron finally graced our table with Ben’s little brother Johnny, I came back to Earth with a sweet smile, a warm smile. My baby bro and sis, were the only people I really gave a shit about.

  “Marisa, you’re here?” Cameron gasped, shocked to see me.

  “In the flesh, little bro!” I laughed back.

  “When did you get back?” Cameron asked while coming around the table toward me.

  “Yesterday,” I answered, getting up to give him a hug. Even with my heels, he was only a few inches shorter. I glanced over to Darcy, happy that she was growing just as nicely. I hoped she’d be taller than me. I wanted the both of them to be everything I couldn’t be¸ including venom-proof; you know, the kind Mom was known for spitting out in her fits of rage.

  I had the scars to prove it; that shit didn’t fade away with time. Only an out-of–this-world miracle could get rid of those marks.

  And if I ever found out that Mom decided to take her frustrations out on the twins, I’d happily come all the way back from Toronto just to rip her a new one.

  But then again, she probably wasn’t treating them like that. It could have just been me who pissed her off. Perhaps I was the one who just brought that certain evil out of people.

  “Did you bring me anything?” Cameron asked, stepping out of our hug.

  “No! It’s not your birthday for another couple of months!” I bellowed playfully, feeling incredibly guilty for leaving them in the throes of an illogical venom-shooter.

  “I’m going to get you guys something amazing for your birthday, don’t worry.” I told them and grabbed my clutch off the table. “Kids, I’m off to the bar, anyone want anything?”

  They all shook their heads and I headed to the bar, pretending people weren’t looking at me and whispering.

  “Marisa’s back!”

  “Marisa was gone?”

  “Yes, Libby didn’t elaborate. Something about a road trip to find herself!”

  “So, is she back for good?”

&nb
sp; “Her mother is so disappointed in her.”

  “Libby was always harsh!”

  “She looks lovely.”

  “What a wonderful colour on her!”

  “Where did she get that dress?”

  “She must have a good job…Gwen said…”

  Good old Gwen! I chuckled on my way towards the bar. I stopped behind a small line and waited for my turn to order.

  “Hey…” a familiar voice called from behind me. I turned around and came face-to-face with a….. fucking precious part of my past. He was a part of me, and I couldn’t forget him, no matter what.

  Ben.

  He stood with his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. He wore a fitted off-white blazer, which I mentally rolled my eyes at, because who would wear an off-white blazer?

  Even if the person wearing it looked amazing.

  His brown eyes twinkled and his dark brown hair was gelled back, showcasing the beauty of his face.

  Damn, my ex-boyfriend looked fine….

  Damn it…. why couldn’t he just accept me for me…. love me for me? Because I had loved him just the way he was. Even though sometimes he had acted like a total and complete Momma’s-boy-cocky-douchebag.

  But the cheating was something I couldn’t get over.

  My lips hadn’t been enough for him…. and that’s what killed the most.

  “Hey,” I murmured back, keeping eye contact.

  You can do this!

  “How are you?” Ben asked. I pressed my clutch to my hip and subtly adjusted my stance by bending my knees slightly, just in case I needed the stability.

  “I’m fine,” I replied.

  “Did you just arrive?” he asked.

  “Yeah, like fifteen minutes ago.” I replied.

  “So did I. I didn’t see you outside; I mean, we arrived practically at the same time…” Ben trailed off.

  “I saw you,” I confessed and Ben’s eyes widened.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, I was in the black SUV in front of the steps outside,” I explained, pointing with my thumb in the parking lot’s direction.

  “Oh, you changed your car?” Ben asked hesitantly.

  “No, I got a ride from a friend.” I explained and something clouded over his eyes, but he quickly reverted back to normal.

  Was that… jealousy?

  “And I don’t have my car anymore…I had to sell it,” I further explained.

  “Thought you loved that car?” Ben asked, confused at my confession. He knew I loved my car and would never sell it. Even when he had asked me to sell it because it was old and he would drive me anywhere I needed to be, I still refused. What was mine was mine, and no one, not even him, was going to deter me.

  I let out a slow breath.

  “I didn’t have a choice,” I confessed, shrugging my shoulders.

  “Needed the money, huh?” Ben said, sounding a bit arrogant.

  “You could say that.” I said, slightly raising my voice. Ben took his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms across his chest, then not-so-subtly scanned me from head-to-toe.

  “You look like you’re doing fine, more than fine, actually,” Ben said, giving me a small smile. “You said you got a ride from a friend, someone new?”

  “You could say that,” I replied without flinching.

  “Making new friends wherever it is you moved to, right?” Ben asked slowly.

  “Tons.” I replied.

  “You look nice though,” Ben stated quietly.

  “Thank you.”

  “Never seen you look like this before,” Ben stated, quietly.

  “Okay…”

  “You never dressed like this before, or fixed your hair like this when we dated.” Ben assessed.

  “Well, it’s been a while since I saw my family, and I wanted to look nice for my dad’s birthday party.” I explained and he seemed unconvinced with my answer.

  “So you fixed yourself up for your dad’s party?” Ben asked slowly.

  I nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

  “No one else?” he prompted.

  I exhaled a small breath and answered. “Nope…priorities, remember?”

  “I remember.” He nodded slowly.

  The bartender called my turn and I ordered a cranberry and vodka cocktail. I took a sip as soon as the bartender placed it on the counter. The cranberry juice’s flavour exploded across my tongue.

  I turned back to Ben, gulping what was in my mouth. “Alright, well – I’m going back to my table.”

  Ben unfolded his arms and nodded slowly. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” I said and walked away, feeling like my legs could cave in at any second. Don’t Fall!

  CHAPTER 13

  *Demetria*

  It was 8:30pm.

  My phone never rang. Something was wrong. It didn’t makes sense. He should have called me hours ago. I’d even called my cell phone provider and yelled at their disgusting service, demanding them to test my phone’s signal five times, because there had to be some mistake…..

  Much to my disappointment, my phone was fine.

  I tried reminding myself that he was probably just busy and would call as soon as he was done with the many charities he worked free of charge for during visits to Ottawa. That’s the kind of man he was: sweet, caring, giving, generous, everything I wanted in a life partner.

  Suddenly, an idea came to mind… a brilliant one.

  If he wasn’t going to come to me, than I was going to go to him!

  I scurried to my door and unlocked it. “Mother!” I yelled into the dark hallway. “Mother!”

  After a few seconds, the sound of her heels clicked against the marble staircase. “Yes, darling, I’m coming. No need to shout; Mommy’s coming!”

  “Hurry up! I don’t have all day!” I commanded curtly as she came to a halt in front of me.

  My mother was really an older version of myself. Wild, dark-brown curly hair and white alabaster skin that could rival the best in the world (thanks to the best dermatologist in Canada). She wasn’t as tall as I me. I was 5’9. And we had similar deep blue eyes.

  “Yes, darling, is everything okay?” Mother asked, concerned.

  I stared at her for a few seconds, and then tilted my neck to the side abruptly, creating a quick cracking sound.

  “I need a ride downtown in half an hour. Do you understand?” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at her.

  “Out now?” Mother asked, obviously confused at the sudden change of my nightly habits. Normally, about now, I’d have been preparing for bed, considering most nights I got about eight hours of uninterrupted beauty sleep.

  “Did you just question one of my requests?” I asked her slowly, holding a hand to my heart as my jaw literally dropped. It could have been a few seconds or a whole minute. The next words out of her mouth had better be an apology.

  “Of course not, darling, my apologies. You know Mommy is not like those other mothers who want to get in the way of their daughter’s fun!” Mother exclaimed, horrified at the mess she almost got herself into.

  That’s what I thought.

  “I need a ride in half an hour, do you understand?” I ordered, slowly enunciating each word so she’d understand with great clarity, these were instructions I didn’t have time for her to dwell on and configure. Mother took a deep breath and nodded. I took a step back and slammed the door in her face, locking it at once.

  CHAPTER 14

  The smell of savoury tomato sauce and meat had my eyes rolling back. Across the dance floor, in the corner of the room, I spotted a long rectangular table with platters spread across. Steam flew out, and I followed the clouds to a problem.

  Ben’s table was next to the buffet table.

  My table got up and joined the growing line. The line moved and the DJ played a big-band track. I leaned against the wall as Darcy and the rest of the kids grumbled how hungry they were. I snuck a peek a few spots down the line at Ben and his tablemates.

  Did he get taller? Did
his shoulders grow wider? Has he been pumping iron? What do his biceps look like now? The last time I touched him like that was….

  “Hey Johnny!” a familiar voice said, interrupting the aftereffects of remembering the last time I had sex. Unfortunately for me, the familiar voice belonged to the person who just gave me an orgasm in my memory.

  Ben.

  What the hell does he want all the way over here?

  “Johnny, don’t forget to take your pills,” Ben reminded.

  “Dude, I know, you don’t have to remind me!” Johnny replied, exasperated, clearly embarrassed from the call out.

  Yeah Ben, he knows!

  “Alright, alright. Just, reminding you, little bro,” Ben said, stalling for a few seconds before heading back to his spot.

  Thank God! I glanced up quickly, finding Darcy and Ben’s sister Jennifer staring at me with knowing smiles.

  “Why are guys staring at me like that?” I narrowed my eyes and look down at them.

  I quickly glanced at Cameron, who was in the direct line of sight of Ben, who just happened to turn his head right now. His beautiful eyes take control over mine in an instant, and for a moment, I thought I spotted sadness.

  I blinked away.

  The line progressed.

  I finally stood in front of the plates and cutlery table. I’d never been this happy to eat. First table was two selections of salads, a mixed green, and a Caesar. I smiled happily, approving both choices. I grabbed some Caesar salad and put it on my plate.

  Next table.

  I smelled something tomato-y and cheesy. I hoped it was lasagne or some sort of pasta. Workers from the kitchen stood behind each tray, spooning equal amounts onto everyone’s plate. I halted in front of the first and peered into it to see what was smelling so good.

  It smelled so good…. that is, until I actually saw what it was.