Madness or Purpose

by Megan Perry

  “I believe that just as Zoe’s vale has been repressing her nature and full potential not being bonded yet in constant contact with her since age 9 has repressed some of Gavin’s nature. We usually really begin to mature and fill our shoes if you will during our teenage years. If Zoe can manipulate energy and both of you seem to heal at incredible rates, it’s very possible that the creation and manipulation of fire is just another thing you are able to do. I mean there is a possibility that you actually both possess all of your displayed gifts since you share a soul.

  If you are whom we believe you to be, it would really all make sense and learning to controlling your abilities should bring them out and under control in both of you. It may finish removing Zoe’s vale and actually complete your bonding. It seems even though you physically bonded, you may not have mentally done so. Really, everything is unknown with the two of you at least at some level.” Dean’s face looked tired and worn. “Natasha, you want to take care of things here? I’ve got to make some calls and get this place cleaned up,” he asks. Natasha nods and Dean excuses himself out to the fire escape type balcony.

  “Alright then, you two are with me.” Natasha says hitting her thigh with her hand. “Now, Gavin you should really put on a shirt and Zoe we need water, candles, a lighter or matches, and you should both freshen up, you reek like smoke!” We look at each other, her, back to each other and shrug. “Chop, chop! I don’t have my whole life to waste on you two I got a half of my own to find now scoot!” I let Gavin shower first while Natasha and I clean the puddle of water up in the kitchen from when Gavin doused himself and quick tidy up my room because I have a feeling people will be removing the bed at some point today. Natasha only speaks to me aloud and only when it is really necessary. As we finish gathering the needed supplies and move the small amount of living room furniture we own Gavin comes out of the bathroom with a puzzled look on his face, but fully clothed. We both give him questioning looks and he responds by pointing at his half wet hair. I blink twice and look at Natasha. “It changed color.” I verbalize what we are all thinking. His gold blonde hair is now as jet black as mine! For the entire time I’ve known him he has been a blonde, but frankly with all the weird things happening it doesn’t surprise me. “We’ll just have to go with it.” Natasha mumbles while digging in her gigantic purse for something. “Zoe go shower,” she commands and I scuttle off. Just before I leave the room with clothes in hand Gavin reaches out and grabs my arm. He pulls me into his chest and presses his lips to my forehead.

  My shower is hot and comforting. My body still aches and my head is throbbing. I can’t really take anything for it, because I know the pain killers aren’t meant for my kind of headaches. I figured I’d have to hurry because our hot water never lasts long, but come to think of it, the bathroom was ice cold when I walked in.

  Maybe he took a cold shower to cool down his skin. He really does feel like he is on fire. I wonder if he is ok out there. I close my eyes and concentrate on his scent that reminds me of fresh cut grass and pine trees. I still can’t seem to focus on his thoughts. I can tell he is as far from both Natasha and Relic as he can get without leaving the living room. His pulse races and his aura is very dim like he is trying to hide. I finish rinsing off and quickly blow-dry my hair as I dress. I look less haggard and frazzled, but the exhaustion is easy to see even through the shattered mirror.

  As soon as she comes around the corner I run to her. I think about her and I am next to her it is that fast. I have no idea how I did it and frankly I don’t care right now she is the only one who can sooth the fire that burns just under my skin. The entire ten minutes she was in the shower I was terrified I was going to light the whole place on fire. She quietly gasps at my sudden appearance. “What did you do to him Natasha,” Zoe asks. “I am as innocent as a kitten. I just sat here with your furry guide here. Gavin just sat over there on that dresser and fidgeted with his fingers glancing at me like I am some sort of poisonous snake here.” Natasha frowned.

  “I miss my friend…I hope he is still in there.” Her shoulders fall and she continues to pat the dog’s head. In my mind I scramble to try and explain myself to Zoe. I drag her to Natasha and gesture for her to take Natasha’s hand.

  “I am sorry Tash. I don’t know what is going on. I know… I know you I know you are my friend. I am still me… I am in here, somewhere. I don’t want to hurt you or anyone else. I can’t control this and if I panic everything gets out of control, I disappear and all that’s left is fire! I think ZZ has put me in my place enough that I can remain somewhat stable around her and my throat seems very damaged from my inability to control this so it’s one of the only ways I can talk. Please, don’t touch me I am afraid if you do I might hurt you.” A tear falls from my eye sizzling on my cheek. “It’s ok Gavin. I understand. Now let’s get down to business.” She answers breaking the connection and moving to sit on the floor. Natasha gestures to us to join her on the floor and without letting go of Zoe we move to the set up on the floor. Her teaching supplies consist of a bucket of water, some candles, a lighter, a battery alarm clock, and a remote control helicopter.

  “Let’s start with Gavin’s current troubles since he is currently the most deadly and I would not like to be burnt to crisp.” Zoe and I nod simultaneously. “I’m going to take Zoe’s hand because I think this will be easier if we can talk through this.” Natasha explains before taking Zoe’s hand in hers. “Ok, Gavin can you tell me how you feel right now. Describe the feeling I assume is just below the surface.” I nod. “It feels like a running river of heat just below my skin.” I tell them. “How does it change when your hand lights and what seems to trigger it?

  It is a feeling, a thought?” I think for a moment searching the past events. “Well, it happens when I lose control, when I can’t focus or when I am scared. In the bedroom I was having a nightmare. Someone had taken Zoe. They tortured her in front of me and restrained me both physically and mentally. I was powerless to save her. My own anger and sadness was so great it felt like my heart exploded. I could only see red and feel the heat radiate off of my body.

  I was able to destroy them and end her torture. That is when she woke me and I have no idea how I extinguished the flames other than the ones inside myself. I felt overjoyed that she was safe and the heat melted away deep into the center of my body.” I took a deep shaky breath the air burning my throat and making me wince.

  “When I was in the kitchen the dog kept whining at me and my throat was on fire. I tried to look in the fridge for something cold, but my vision was still so red I could barely see. The heat bubbled up in my frustration and when my palms lit up I didn’t know what to do.

  Then the dog started growling at me and I couldn’t concentrate and the flames started growing as my frustration turned to anger. When Zoe’s voice hit my ears I panicked! I didn’t want to harm her, but her presence seemed to cool the flames slightly. Once we put my hands out I was so scared I felt like I needed to be closer to her to hold her to me to hold onto my sanity, my control. When our skin met I was overcome with lust, and mind you when I awoke I had not connected everything I have now and I was frustrated that I did not know this woman yet I actually ached for her. The onslaught of emotions sent my system haywire and the anger came back. I felt possessed and I couldn’t seem to hit the off button until she gave me another good jolt. It’s like it reset my brain waves and allowed me to take control again. I can’t tell you why my pants and her clothes weren’t burnt off, but maybe it was because I did not have ill intentions; I mean her hair never went up in flames either. Now when I feel out of control or bombarded by emotions her voice seems to trigger a memory of the jolts of electricity and somehow I am able to keep it subdued.”

  “You have to write this down Gavin baby! This is incredible!” Natasha squeals aloud. “Ok I have an idea!”

  She continues. “Gavin, do you think you can remember a small frustrating event while holding onto Zoe? She might just be able to counter act an overflow
of emotion.” Natasha asks. “I can, but are you sure Tash? That sounds well CRAZY!” I tell her. Both women look at me pulling their eyebrows together and shaking their heads at me. “Of course it’s a bit crazy, but what else are we supposed to do? You can’t learn to control it if you don’t use it.” Zoe replies. I won’t argue with two women I wouldn’t even try to with one I would never win. So, I close my eyes and I feel Natasha drop from the connection to allow us to concentrate. She nudges the bucket of water closer to me just in case. Taking a deep breath I search through the snippets of memories from the last few hours I can’t really seem to see further back than that. I focus on the few moments I was digging in the fridge and the incessant whining of the dog. I begin to feel the molten bubbling in the recesses of my mind. It grows as I re-run the memory again and again. I feel it start to spread through me trying to envelope my body from head to toe. Zoe sends flashes of her eyes and the jolts she delivered to my body. I concentrate on my right hand, the one she is not holding. I think about the heat traveling there and settling in my palm. I hear Natasha gasp and Zoe tells me to open my eyes.

  Dancing in the center of my up turned hand is an orange flame. As I look the only part of my body that looks flushed is my hand and I can only feel the heat there. “Now, imagine it smoldering out.” Natasha suggests. As I concentrate it slowly shrinks in size and smothers itself sending a wisp of smoke up from my hand. I feel like flames are rising up inside my throat and charring me from the inside. Zoe notices my pain and sends Natasha for some water. She hands it to me and I empty the glass in one long drink. Natasha is prepared and refills it with the pitcher beside her. I empty the second glass and set it on the floor. Next Natasha has me create the flame but imagine it jumping to the candles set in front of me. Zoe only has to think about electrocuting me once and I am able to direct the flame. I am able to put out the candles and push the burning deep into the recesses of my mind. My vision finally clears and I can see both women admiring the new color of my irises. I grin, it feels natural and familiar. Natasha bounces up and down in her excitement and claps her hands together spouting phrases in Russian that neither Zoe nor I understand.

  I point to my throat which still feels charred and is too painful for me to speak. “He’s still in a tremendous amount of pain.” Zoe tells Natasha, who immediately has an idea. She always does. Natasha takes Zoe’s left hand in both of hers and instructs Zoe to move her right from my hand to the hollow of my throat. “Zoe I want you to visualize a cooling sensation kind of like aloe on a sun burn and I’ll focus on more details.”Natasha thinks as they both close their eyes. At first it’s as though a spark of electricity shoots from Zoe’s finger tips. It transforms into a cool tingling sensation moving through my skin and into my throat. Small waves of the sensation pulse up my throat followed by a pulling sensation, like the tissue is pulling back together and smoothing out. As the cooling pulses diminish numbness takes over. I slowly open my eyes not that I remember closing them and both the ladies are grinning from ear to ear. “It’s got to be noon by now can we eat I’m starving.” I say aloud. “Of course,” they giggle in unison.

  “Dean get your butt in here we fixed him! Aren’t you off that phone yet? You want pizza?” Natasha yells towards the fire escape. Zoe grabs one of the menus from the kitchen and I stand to stretch sitting on the floor has made me all stiff.

  Dean steps back in the apartment flipping his phone shut. “You work fast Tash,” Dean comments. He raises his brow and points to my head. I shrug my shoulders and step towards him grabbing him in a bear hug. He tenses, but soon relaxes when he doesn’t burst into flames. “Thanks man.” I say. “You back to yourself then?” Dean asks with a questioning look on his face. “Man, I’m not sure exactly who I am anymore than anyone else seems to, but things are coming back. I’m stable for now.” I explain. Dean nods his head and motions for me to step outside. I follow him. The October breeze feels good against my skin. I still seem to be running warmer than usual, but that may be a permanent change. We both take a seat in the old chairs on the fire escape. Dean closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.

  “Gavin, man, you scared the hell out of me. I thought I was going to have to knock you out and call Jaron and the boys to come haul you off to a safe place.” “You know if I could have helped it I would have right?” I ask him. “Yeah, I know kid. So, how much do you remember about well, everything?” Dean questions me. “I can feel that Zoe and I share a soul. I know I am a guardian. I know she has been valed, and I know we have been together in some capacity since we were nine. I know Natasha is supposed to be a close friend and so are you and I think I remember something about like foster parents that are human. That is about it right now.

  I mean every time Zoe shows me something from the past it seems to unlock parts of my memory. I think it really is just a matter of time.” I sigh and feel my eyes flicker red in frustration. Dean sits stiff in his chair. “Don’t worry man, I got it under control, I’m just not used to feeling angry, you know me I’m an easy going guy. It’s tough.” Dean just nods at me.

  “Your parents bought you a new bed, stuff to fix the wall, and a new mirror for the bathroom. The guys are bringing it by in a couple of hours. I figure I’ll have them set up the bed and the mirror for you. You think you two can handle the wall repair?” “I think so.” I reply. “Hey Dean,” “yeah kid?” “Am I a jealous guy?” I ask. He ponders my question for a moment and rubs the stubble along his jaw line. “Well, no, but you’ve not been bonded to Zoe until now. Why do you ask?” “Well, I remember something about Zoe’s jealousy causing her to lose control when other women showed affection towards me or interest in me. I mean even just a glance my way made her have rage issues. She made a waitress end up wearing four milk shakes and just about fried Natasha with electricity.” I explain. “I see, maybe you should stay out here with Zoe while the guys are here and you two can work on your memory.” He suggests. I nod and Zoe pops her head out of the doorway. “You two lugs going to eat or not? Pizza’s here!” She winks at me and I feel a wave of compassion flow over me and calm my nerves. We both stand and go inside to join the ladies for lunch. An hour or so later Zoe leads me out to the fire escape because the guys were on their way upstairs.

  I set the bucket of ice and drinks on the crates and sit down next to Gavin letting my legs dangle over the edge of the fire escape. I hand him a beer and take a drink from my rum and coke. He gives me a funny look. “Oh come on, we are actually legal we can’t not celebrate a little on our birthday!” I say with a smile. He smiles, shakes his head and twists off the cap and takes a swig. Setting his bottle on his other side he places his hand over mine and intertwines his fingers with mine. His touch is soothing and looking out over the building tops I feel hope for the first time in a few long hours. I continuously feed him memories of our past and I can feel it as the alcohol relaxes him and he lets himself absorb all the details. I finish my first drink and I have managed to block out all the noise from inside. I can feel four additional auras besides Natasha and Dean inside and I’m glad we closed the door. I think some of the men’s comments might set Gavin off if he could hear them.

  I close my eyes and let my memory flow. I am so into my own remembering that I didn’t feel Gavin turn his body towards mine until his finger tips ran across my lips and his hand cups my chin. I open my eyes just in time to see his eyes close as he touches his lips to mine. Gently, tentatively at first, he is nervous. I can feel his body shaking. Then I see it in his head, he isn’t nervous, he is trying to hold back. Just the emotions rising from kissing me is making him lose control. I can’t pull out of his grasp and the fire is blistering hot. He is so panicked my presence isn’t enough and my memories do nothing. I manage to grab the bucket with my other hand and dump it bottles and all over his head. He curses and sputters and the bottles fall three floors and shatter on the concrete in the alley way. Steam rises off his body and his face is twisted in fear and shame. Dean and Natasha burst through the doo
r panicked looks on their faces.

  “What the hell happened out here?” Dean demands to know. “He kissed me and let’s just say, he took a few steps backward and almost lit me up like a human torch. So, I dumped the bucket on his head” I explain. Gavin’s head hangs in shame and a few tears roll down his cheeks until they sizzled out. Natasha touches my cheek and closes her eyes using the same method as we had on Gavin earlier to speed up the healing of my face and lips. “How about you two come inside the guys just left and relax a bit.” Dean suggests. I take Gavin’s hand and as he looks up at me his eyes flash back to his silver blue hue and he smiles weakly. “Holy hell,” I exclaim as we enter the apartment. “Your parents are way too nice Gavin.” In place of the futon are a nice suede couch and a recliner. The coffee table is made of real wood and there is a second chair matching the couch. I spin around and against the wall is a new flat screen TV! Gavin shakes his head and takes a seat on the couch.

  Natasha and Dean stick around most of the day to “hang out” which really means to keep an eye on Gavin. I sit at his feet and flip through the leather bound journal. As I read he reabsorbs his lost knowledge and I pick up a few new things. Natasha tells me little facts she knows and we add some things to the journal as we go along.

  Around 7pm Dean and Natasha stand and announce they are leaving. They are sure to point out three new fire extinguishers and scoot out the door. I follow them and lock it behind them. Gavin and I flick through the channels and eat the rest of the now cold pizza.

  Gavin pulls me into his side as we settle on an old black and white comedy. “You know, I’m sorry about earlier. I just, I felt like I needed to remind you that I’m still in here, that I still love you and I guess the combination of memories and my feelings for you was an overload on my system. I should have been more responsible.” “I understand Gav; I’ve been in your shoes. We can’t hope to be perfect.” I smile and turn to kiss the hand draped over my shoulder. Gavin shudders and sighs.