Madness or Purpose

by Megan Perry

  “You just have to rein in those hormones boy and we will be just fine.” I give him a big cheesy grin. It’s only 9pm, but it’s been a long day. I stand up, stretch, and yawn. I lean down to kiss Gavin goodnight and as I try to stand back up he pulls me down onto his lap and pulls me back to him. He is careful and gentle, but it still sends electricity all over my body and the lights flash. Gavin lets me pull away and I stand up and head to my bedroom with Relic in tow. He doesn’t follow me knowing it’s best if we keep our distance like this for a while. I strip off my hoodie and jeans slipping under the covers.

  Relic settles down on her pillow in the corner by the window.

  This will never work! The bed is just too big and too empty without him. I crawl out grabbing a pillow and an old blanket from the pile in the corner. I quietly walk down the hall and enter the living room. It’s dark, but I find I can see much better these days. Gavin is curled up on the floor with one of the fire extinguishers nearby. “Couldn’t sleep huh?” He asks. “Nope,” I answer. “You know we are tempting fate right?” He asks as I snuggle up next to him wrapped in my own blanket. “I don’t care.”I say as he wraps his arms around me. “Sadly, neither do I.” He replies. Almost instantly we fall asleep on the floor of our apartment not knowing what the night will bring.

  To Love a Friend

  I woke up in the king sized bed alone tucked tightly under the covers. To the right side of my head on the opposite pillow was a note in Gavin’s hand writing.

  ZZ,

  You were shivering so violently I had to put you in here. I was afraid to warm you up myself. I just couldn’t bear to accidentally hurt you again. I’m even more scared now that I can remember almost everything. I can’t lose you and I would lose my mind if I were the one to harm you. I hope you can understand.

  Love,

  Gavin

  P.S. I couldn’t sleep. I’m out on the fire escape with a thermos of coffee waiting for you.

  I stretch from head to toe and as I peel off the covers my skin is covered in goose bumps. I look at my attire and I realize I am only in panties and a t-shirt. Well, that combo of clothing and the windows being open to air out the smoke smell are definitely why I got so cold. I quickly close the window and rummage through my drawers for a pair of sweats and fuzzy socks. I pull a long sleeve shirt and hoodie over my head and slip a pair of shoes on. I remember to run a brush through my messy hair. I know he has seen me worse, but some part of me always wants to impress him to some degree. I see a box of donuts and croissants on the coffee table and I snag a couple on the way by. As I lug the door open with one hand Gavin’s head turns in my direction. “It took you long enough.” He states smiling. Well trying to smile is more like it. His aura is hidden and a bucket of water sits to one side of him. He has definitely been up a long time. Gavin only wears a t-shirt and jeans. I can see my breath in the morning air, so he must still be running hot if he isn’t as bundled up as I am. I sit next to him letting my legs hang down over the edge of the fire escape.

  “Did you even sleep Gavin?”

  I ask. “Maybe until midnight, but you were shivering so much I couldn’t let you stay out there so I moved you and without you out there with me I just couldn’t fall back asleep. So I came out here to practice.” He said. “It looks like you’ve regained control and you got us delicious breakfast, so why do you look so sad?” I ask stuffing my mouth full of a glazed donut while pouring myself a cup of hot coffee and mixing in some creamer. “Well, yeah I seem to have things under control. But after yesterday, you know when you helped me remember stuff; well I think I am remembering things you didn’t tell me. Things you didn’t know and stuff well, I guess I didn’t know I knew about until now.” Sighing he takes my hand and rubs his thumb over the top absent mindedly.

  Gavin runs his hands through his hair and stares at the horizon where the clouds are just turning pink. “Zoe, I just…I don’t know if I can be the man you need. I mean there was a time I thought I could, but maybe I’m not the right one. If you had a choice in all of this would you really still choose me?” I swallow hard and almost choke on a piece of croissant. I cough and sputter a bit. He pats my back to be sure I am ok, but then he removes it as quickly as he offered it. I sip my coffee to clear my throat. Tears brim my eyes. Why would he ask me such a question? I already told him that I loved him and I wouldn’t choose anyone else. “If you’re trying to get rid of me boy, you better think again!” I tease him, but his face is too serious. “Gavin, I chose you a long time ago. If we weren’t fated to be, I would still have chosen you. Remember I am just now figuring out who I am. When I was human or at least didn’t know I was something else I wanted you then. I always have. I was afraid to tell you.

  I didn’t know how to tell you. You never dated any girls, hell you never even went on a date, so I figured you felt the same but never said anything. You are the man I need. No matter who or what you are. Look, I know things are crazy and messed up now, but we’ve been there before. Don’t you remember when my dad died? You were the only thing that kept me going. You believed me when no one else did. You saved me. How could I not love you? Why do you doubt me?”

  “It’s not that. I don’t doubt you. I just want you to have a choice. I want to know that you don’t just love me because of what we are. I want to know you love me because of who I am.” He replies looking me in the eyes. He reaches up and wipes away a tear that has escaped from my eye. His hand lingers on my cheek and I close my eyes and lean into its warmth. “Gav, I would love you even if someone else was my other half. I would doom us all and love you instead. I am just that selfish.” He leans in closer and gently presses his lips to mine. “I know, I guess I’ve always known.” He thinks. Quickly he snatches my last donut and shoves it into his mouth all at once. I laugh and slug him in the shoulder while his face is still puffed out like a chipmunk’s. I stand up and start to head inside before he stops me by grabbing my ankle. “Hey, chill out!

  I got to pee! I’ll be right back!” I scold him. “Bring that box of stuff when you come back.” He begs with a big smirk on his face. “Maybe there won’t be any left by the time I get back out here.” I tease patting my stomach.

  I quickly use the restroom and brush my teeth. I know I am about to drink more coffee and eat a few more breakfast sweets, but I just feel the need to do it when I get up and meeting Gavin on the fire escape messed it all up! If I had a penny for every plan I had that Gavin changed, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t need this waitressing gig. I snag the box of food on my way out the door. Gavin is playing with a dancing flame in his hand and extinguishes it the moment he sees me. “Now, now, someone is becoming a little pyro!” I tease him. “I just want to make sure I still have a good handle on it before I teach you!” He says grinning. “Me? You’re going to show me how to do that?” I repeat his comment in the form of a question. “Well, I guess if you don’t want to learn then I won’t.” “Of course I do! But is that a good idea?” I ask. “We won’t really know until we try I guess.” He shrugs. “First things first, I need some food!” He announces grabbing the box and flipping up the lid.

  While Gavin stuffs his face I think. It’s kind of nice having my mind to myself on occasion. I think that is why Gavin and I try to refrain from touching all the time. Being near him is enough. Well, for now. I mean the moments we have had up to now have been amazing, but with everything bombarding us lately I guess we have to take a few steps back so we don’t blow up the building or burn it down. You know, there are instances when I wish I was normal, but when I really think about it I’d rather just be me. While Gavin eats I take him in. His eyes are different, and his hair is radically darker than before along with his eye brows, but all the little things are just like they should be. His eyes get little creases in the corners when he grins big, and his brow wrinkles when he concentrates and he sticks his tongue out like it somehow gives him a better advantage. He isn’t glowing though. That reminds me, he’s got to teach me that first so we ca
n go out in public more.

  “Oh my god, I think I ate too much.” Gavin pats his stomach like he’s pregnant.

  “You’re such a freak!” I tease him pushing on his stomach. “Don’t do that ZZ!

  I’ll go into early labor!” I just shake my head at him. “Something is definitely wrong with you. Maybe I electrocuted you too many times.” I respond grinning. “Hey, before you show me how to play with fire can you show me how to dim my aura?” I ask. “Sure thing, now close your eyes and take a deep breath. I know you can sense an aura it’s kind of natural and it comes with your mind reading stuff. When you can see your aura imagine it shrinking and I’ll tell you what happens.” I do as he says and I focus on my bluish-silverness. As I imagine it shrinking I can actually feel it seeping into my body.” “That’s it keep it up.” He reassures me. “Now, open your eyes.” When I open them there is a mirror in front of my face. “Where did you get that?” “Never mind, what do you see?” “Nothing, it’s just me.” I answer. “Exactly,” Gavin squeals like the nine year old boy I first met. “You are a lunatic.” I tell him shaking my head. “On to the fire,” he exclaims. “Not until you tell me where that mirror came from.” I say crossing my arms over my chest. “Later ZZ this is more important!” “Ok, fine, fine, I’ll wait.”I agree.

  For the next couple hours or so Gavin shows me how to create and manipulate fire as well as how to put it out. It wasn’t too difficult because I had experienced it with him when Natasha was here yesterday. I took my turn as teacher and taught him how to play with electricity. It took longer to show him, because I had no one to help me figure it out initially and thus translating my unconscious methods took some creativity. Eventually we both get the hang of it and by then it’s time for lunch. We really don’t have any food so we decide to go shopping and fill up the fridge. I of course make Gavin wait while I clean up and do my hair. Our new mirror is amazing and the lighting is great for doing my hair.

  That’s probably one of my only girly qualities. I mean I don’t wear makeup, unless I have to and the only “jewelry” I ware is my necklace and leather wrist band. In fact the last time I got all dressed up and put on makeup, Gavin laughed so hard he fell out of a chair. He said it made me look like a clown. I punched him in the gut and locked myself in my room for a couple hours. He just sat on the other side of the door with a radio singing all the wrong words to songs. It made me laugh though.

  As we walk to the store I hold Gavin’s hand half just to be touching him and half because his eyes keep flashing red as men look me up and down. I chose a denim skirt he picked out for me and with leggings, chucks, and a form fitting zip up hoodie. If he could hear the things men are thinking he might light the whole city on fire. I have gotten myself under control. I can hear the women, but I just ignore them. I know he is mine so there is no reason to freak out.

  “Gavin put on your sunglasses if you can’t stop doing that.” I scold him.

  “I’m sorry. There is that better?” He asks flipping his shades down. I just shake my head at him. “Now you know how I felt. Frustrating isn’t it?” He just nods and grunts. “Oh, get over yourself! Here’s the store, let’s get some food you have got to be starving…right?” I tell him releasing his hand while I grab a cart. “You never did tell me where you got that mirror.” He shrugs, “I got it here when I grabbed the food for breakfast. I figured we didn’t have one but it could be useful. What, you thought I like thought it into existence? ” He starts laughing and I just shove him and lead the way.

  We pick up all kinds of munchies and some real food along the way. Gavin steps in between me and a produce clerk he thinks is giving me too much help picking out a pumpkin. I have to quickly dismiss the clerk and smack Gavin in the back of the head to get my point across that he needs to back off. I must have sent him over the edge. He quickly pushes me up against the pumpkin display and kisses me hard and possessively. The clerk just turns and walks in the other direction as fast as he can. Gavin caught me off guard and now I can’t breathe.

  Part of me doesn’t care. His arms holding me to him and his lips burning me like fire almost make me want to die if only to never lose this feeling. But I come to my senses and gently shock him with my finger tips along his torso. He jumps a bit, pulls away, and quietly says, “thanks.” His cheeks are little red but from shame or lust I really can’t tell.

  Gavin manages to make it through the rest of the store and pay the cashier without freaking out on anyone. As we walk back to the apartment he has to control himself because both our arms are full and I can’t babysit his jealousy. “Why would you pick out such a large pumpkin when you know we have to walk home and up three flights of stairs?” He grunts a little under the weight of the pumpkin and his part of the groceries. “It’s going to be Halloween soon and I need a jack-o-lantern! I can’t have Halloween without it!” I explain to him. “Of course you can’t. But why am I the one carrying it?” He asks. “Well you did attack me in the store and you were so mean to that poor boy!”I scold him. “Oh, you know you secretly liked it!” He says smirking. Well, he isn’t wrong, but it still isn’t ok for him to try any hurt anyone so innocent. “I could give you the same lecture you gave me about that whorish waitress at the diner.” I remind him with a playful glare. As we climb the stairs to our place, I remember him saying something about remembering things I never showed him. “Hey, Gav?” I say. “Um, Yeah ZZ. What’s on your mind? I know that tone.” He replies giving me a concerned look. “So, you said you remembered things I never showed you…what is all that about? What do you know?” I ask as we reach our door and Gavin manages to open it and nudge the heavy door open. “Well, I think they are memories, or like subconscious clues.” “About what?” I ask. “Let’s put this stuff away and eat I’m starving and then I’ll get into the details. Ok?” “Sure, but I won’t let you get out of this one!” I say winking at him. “I wasn’t planning on trying to elude you, but I am curious how would you make me tell you anything?” He challenges me.

  He turns to one of the counters and starts unloading some bags. “ZZ, how would you make me tell you?” He repeats. As he turns around to be sure he has my attention I am right behind him. “Yeesh woman, you could give me a heart attack by sneaking up on me like that!” I giggle and bat my lashes at him. “You seriously can’t hear me? I’m really not that quiet.” I step into his space forcing him to back up against the counter. He swallows hard and his vale drops gently illuminating his features with his sapphire and silver aura. He shakes his head at me slowly as his eyes flash to silver and sapphire. I dropped my vale when we walked in the door, because I’m still so new at it. “Close your eyes and tell me what you hear?” I say softly, with a seductive undertone. Just as if it were a command his eyes clamp shut and I can feel his pulse rise though I haven’t actually touched him yet. “I can’t hear anything!” He complains. I step in closer pressing my body against his. “Listen harder, clear your mind.” I instruct in a whisper right next to his ear. I can feel his whole body shudder and his body instinctually reacts to mine as I press my hips and torso against him. “I can’t when you do that!” He groans at me his hands clenching into fists as he tries not to touch me.

  “Concentrate!”

  I demand. I hear and feel his heart rate speed up and his hands give in when he grabs me by the hips and his teeth graze along the side of my neck. His touch sends electricity down my spine and my own breath hitches in my chest. “I hear your heart racing, the dog whining from the kennel in the other room. The neighbor through the wall is fighting with his whore of a girl friend again. The woman below us is watching an R rated movie and is getting turned on. She wishes her boy toy would come home early. The landlord is denying someone’s application and slamming the door in the guys face while the guy’s chick repeatedly hits him with her oversized purse. Someone outside is picking the lock to the back of the club through the alley, and I won’t even tell you what you’re thinking!” I feel him grin against my skin.

&nb
sp; “How did you know I could do that?” He mumbles in between kisses. “I am just that awesome!”I gasp as his fingers run under the waistband of my skirt. “You’ve been able to do it for a while huh?” He accuses more than asks. “Just a little,” I whisper innocently and bite my lip trying to resist the temptation to jump him right here in the kitchen. Our stomachs both growl in unison reminding us we haven’t eaten since early this morning. Gavin groans and stamps his feet like a two year old when I back away. “Seriously, dude are you like two?” I say sarcastically. “I just…it’s…yes! Yes I am I want you and I want you now!” He whines and gives me puppy dogs while he sticks his bottom lip out. I walk back to him slowly and the corners of his mouth begin to turn up in a grin as he thinks he has won. I stop a fraction of an inch from his lips. “I don’t lose to toddlers…and I am not a pedophile…plus you are still holding out on me so, lunch first Mr. Grumpy Pants chill out!” He frowns again and smacks my butt as I turn away from him. I yip and jump a bit. I preheat the oven and toss some chicken strips on a baking sheet. Gavin finishes putting away the groceries slamming everything he can only adding to my enjoyment of victory.

  Mwahahaha! I can seriously be a little too evil to him sometimes. Oh well!

  Gavin is pouting on the new couch while I finish up in the kitchen. As the buzzer dings I pull out the food and divide the strips up between two plates. I snag a bag of chips and the BBQ sauce as I exit the kitchen while Relic stumbles around me begging. I also stash a couple of pops in my hood with some napkins. “Here you are sir!” I say setting the plates on the table.” He doesn’t respond and that is when I notice he’s sleeping. He snores lightly and for some odd reason his hand is in one of his front pockets like he was reaching for something and dozed off at the same time. Awww…how cute. “WAKE