Cocky Love: Emma Cocker (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 11)

by Faleena Hopkins

  “You sound so cold when you talk about feelings, like a scientist observing an experiment.”

  “Do I?” I frown. “I guess it’s not a subject I broach often. Hmmm.”

  We stare at each other as birds chirp in the overgrown trees around us. Her smile is kind as she asks, “Are you going to tell me or…?”

  Blinking to the ground I rake my hair back. “Oh, I haven’t, have I?”

  “No.”

  I inhale deeply on a frown. “I have anonymously hired a team in town to interview social workers. They’ve been doing it for weeks. Also interviewing volunteers because, while they will be paid, if someone is willing to work hard for nothing they’ll work harder for something. We’ve been looking into teachers who will work part time and split shifts. The bookkeeping will be handled by my company’s accountants until I find local businesses I can trust. Piece by piece I’m building an orphanage that will double as a school teaching grades pre-school through sixth. Even when the children get placed in a home they will continue their learning here so they keep their friendships and their special needs, battling feelings of abandonment and other challenges, will be accommodated by professionals who know how.” Emma’s lips part in surprise. My eyebrow cocks as I wait for her to say something. When she doesn’t, I smirk, “Did you think these enormous homes were intended just for me?”

  Her eyes say yes, but she shakes her head. “No, I didn’t think that.”

  “You’re a terrible liar.”

  She blushes and instantly I want to kiss her. So I pull her to me, expecting her to object. But she melts into my arms and stares up at me like I’m a hero. “That’s why I wanted you to know. The way you’re looking at me now. What man wouldn’t want this feeling?”

  Tracing my face with searching tenderness, Emma confesses “I heard that you were ruthless.”

  “I was, once.”

  “What changed?”

  “Later. Right now I have to kiss you.” Crushing my lips to hers the lightning I felt before is multiplied by thousands. She gasps into the kiss, feeling the electricity too, and rises up on her tiptoes, arms softly encircling my neck as the kiss becomes more passionate and puzzling. I’ve been with so many women, but her I feel in my pores. She moans and I marvel at the sound, embracing her closer. I want to hear her purr.

  Chapter 24

  EMMA

  I catch my breath as Tanner pulls away and searches my eyes. Impatiently I pull at his belt and he frowns and grabs my hands. “No, Emma.”

  “Why not? Nobody’s here. We could—”

  “We could but I won’t.” His grip loosens and he looks down to watch our fingers touching. I lace mine with his.

  “Don’t stop now, Tanner!”

  He crushes me in a new and even more primal kiss, running his hands down my body so confidently I can feel how much he loves women. I am pulsing to know all of him. I have woken up wet every night for a week. And now I have him.

  I open my eyes as his lips break from mine, and he propels himself deeper into the lawn, running a hand through his waves. “No, I can’t do this to you.”

  A moan rips from my lungs and I want to reach for him but stop just short of actually doing it, embarrassing myself, looking too eager. I’ve managed to play it cool until now. And here I am wanting to beg him to fuck me. Turning on my heel I make quick strides to the house. “Fine! Do what you want but I’m done playing games!”

  He runs and catches up, spinning me around and gripping my shoulders. Our lips collide again and I fall into him, but as I go for his belt Tanner grabs my hands again. His gorgeous head is shaking back and forth like he won’t let this happen.

  I fume, “I know you want me, too!”

  He dives his fingers into my hair and holds me prisoner, searching my eyes to see why I can’t understand. “Emma, I will hurt you.”

  “You keep saying that! How do you know you will?”

  His voice is thick as he reminds me, “Your father hates me. Your brothers will back him up. This can’t go anywhere and you will want it to. And I’m beginning to think I will, too.”

  Hope roars, and far more powerfully than I would have imagined. I knew I wanted him, physically, but it’s become more than that. Smiling and giving him a cute wink, I keep things light in hopes that he’ll stay right here, not run away. “You care about me more than you thought, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then let’s just try,” I grin, even though I’ve begun to tremble. I can feel his exit looming over us, just like when he dashed to his car while I was on the phone with my dad.

  Again he shakes his head like his decision is final. I kiss him hard. He responds and delicious minutes fly by, the world a blur, nothing matters but this kiss, these hands, him pressing his heat against me. We’re moaning into each other. I think I’ve won. But I haven’t won anything but more frustration and confusion. He releases me and starts for the neglected mansion’s back door. “You will thank me for this years from now.”

  A scream unleashes from my core.

  Tanner whips around, eyes wide.

  Nobody in my family would recognize quiet Emma right now, but I don’t fucking care. I storm past him and rush through the house with him on my heels. I break into a run and he does, too. I explode out the door and Tanner follows, shouting my name. At my car I wait, panting.

  He pounces in front of me, snarling like we’re two animals. “What was that scream?!”

  “I am not a child,” I steadily tell him—voice, body and soul controlled. “I get to decide who I’m with. I want you!” I push his chest. “Go back to San Francisco, Mr. Hamilton, and think about what you want, because I don’t care how old you are or who you’ve been with, I want you! I know from that kiss and your confession to me back there, that you feel something for me, too. You’ve only told Dan, but you chose me to share your wonderful plan with. You want me, too! So try and use my family as an excuse, but I believe you’re just scared of falling in love. Now, please open my door for me and drive me back.”

  He’s stunned as he helps me step around the rough curb, cement broken with roots and time. Like a robot he shuts the passenger door.

  In stiff moments we’re off.

  He steals a few looks at me but I don’t meet his eyes. Tears are hovering in mine. As we pull up to the first property, his hand edges near, hovers, and lowers to rest on my thigh. I won’t look at him. He gives it a squeeze and gets out, walking around. It’s so silly that I’m waiting for him to help me out of my own car, but something about it is comforting. I don’t know why. I guess it’s a sign of respect like he said. That even when we’re angry, he still makes sure he’s the first one out and the last one in. Perhaps it was designed to make sure no other man could harm a woman while you were inside the car and she was alone waiting for the door to unlock in the olden days when you had to do it manually. I’ve never thought of why, until now.

  Little do I know that I’ll have a lot of time to think from now on.

  No job.

  Tanner gone.

  Just me and a new chapter of life to begin.

  Whether I want it to, or not.

  Chapter 25

  TANNER

  My nephew, Ryder, and his best friend, Jimmy, safely hang off the front of the 56’ motor yacht I chartered to take us around the San Francisco Bay for a day cruise. It’s not as huge a boat as I could have chosen. Those don’t go fast enough and the boys crave action.

  Jen packed us lunches which sit waiting in a cooler near her legs. She and I are drinking Rex Hill Pinot Gris, because she only drinks California wines out of loyalty. We’re on cushy, waterproof seats, our backs to the wake, sun in our hair and skin shining of sunscreen she made me put on. We get to relax and enjoy while Captain Jack, as he half-jokingly calls himself, steers us to all the best hideouts.

  “You’re awfully quiet, Tanner,” Jen notices. “I’ve been doing all the talking.”

  “You like talking,” I remind her, the glass at my lip
s.

  My sister gives me the look she’s given me my whole life. “Har har. You’re always reserved but never like this. I’m talking to a statue.”

  “A handsome statue,” I wink, trying to change the subject. “Looks like Ryder and his friend are having fun. Think he forgives me for missing the graduation?”

  “He reveres you and you know it. His uncle could forget a dozen birthdays and he’d find an excuse to forgive you.”

  “Not if they were yours. He’d never forgive me then.”

  The Golden Gate Bridge looms majestically ahead and Jen turns her head to take it in. “My son is very protective of me. Never forget my birthday.” After a moment she asks in a more private voice. “Did you lose money?”

  “I didn’t lose money, God, do I look that terrible?”

  “Something’s wrong, I can tell. And business is all you care about, so I figured something must have gone terribly wrong. You have shadows under your eyes, and even out here you look pale, Tanner. Confide in me for once!”

  We inherited the same stubborn gene. Rubbing my chin I consider telling her the subject is closed but with one flicked glance I can see she won’t drop it this time.

  “Give me more wine,” I grumble, holding my arm out. She reaches into the cooler and hands me the bottle.

  Leaning in she watches me pouring and her eyes, dark like my own, begin to sparkle with curiosity. “This is going to be about a woman, isn’t it?”

  Filling my glass above the acceptable line set by polite society, I cock an eyebrow. “I think it’s shit. But maybe you’ll see something I don’t.”

  “Pour me some, too, you lush.”

  “Thank God someone else is driving this thing,” I mutter.

  Jen chuckles, “Cheers to that,” dark, loose hairs flying back in the wind, unable to be contained by her low ponytail. “Who is it, and why the frown?”

  I sigh and spread my legs, getting comfortable. “She’s too young for me.”

  “How old?”

  “She looks early twenties but Dan tells me from her bio that she must be nearer to thirty, if not that.”

  Jen cocks her head. “That’s not too young. It’s not like she’s a child.”

  “To me, she is. You know I date older women.” I take a sip.

  “Tanner, you date older women because you have mommy issues.”

  My wine spits everywhere. “You’re going to tell a man like me that I have mommy issues,” I repeat with distaste, wiping my chin.

  Knowingly my sister nods. “You do. Big time. Mom paid more attention to me than you since you were Daddy’s little businessman, going places he never could. But while he was egging you on in your studies of finance, mergers and acquisitions, you secretly wished that Mom would notice, too. As we both know, numbers confused her—hell, most things confused Mom—so she focused on teaching me all the girly things. Lot of good it did me. And that’s why you seek out older women for that love.”

  “What a bunch of psychobabble crap!”

  “Is it?”

  We stare at each other.

  “So how do you explain my feelings for Emma then? Because she’s nothing like Mom was. The girl’s brain is sharper than yours!”

  Jen’s eyebrows go up. “‘I’m going to ignore that insult and focus on the miracle I just heard. Feelings for her? This is new. You actually care about this one? For a second I thought you were going to tell me you got her pregnant and she wants to keep it.”

  Chuckling I lean back and drink my wine, thinking about it. “Yes, I suppose I could have said that instead and it would have been far less surprising. But guess what, I haven’t slept with her yet.”

  Jen clasps her throat, eyebrows high. “Excuse me? Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt her.”

  “Why would you if you care about her?”

  “Exactly.”

  “No,” Jen sighs, “That’s not what I meant. If you care about this girl then she’s not like the others who you leave without emotions or looking back. You would actually be with her, get to know her, maybe even…”

  “Don’t say it.”

  “…Settle down,” Jen smiles, ignoring me. “Aren’t you lonely Tanner?”

  Glancing to Ryder and Jimmy as they bust up laughing over something we’re too far away to hear, I mutter, “Not at all. I like my own company.”

  “All you care about is your company.”

  “You know I meant personally, not my business.”

  “And I was taking the opportunity to show you they are one and the same.” Sighing she takes a sip. “I know that you’re not like me. I like having people around. When Ryder goes to college I’m going to lose my mind looking for something to occupy my time with. But you’d be happy on an island as long as you had internet and a phone, your big fancy deals as your companion.”

  Staring at the shimmering dark blue water I murmur, “That used to be true, and yet…here I am unable to stop thinking about Emma Cocker.”

  “Cocker?” Jen’s eyes widen, interest piqued. “Like in Gabriel Cocker?”

  “She’s his cousin.”

  “Is she as gorgeous as he is? God, that boy is stunning. Did you see those eyes? Two colors! And that voice could melt a woman’s dress right off her body even if it were made of wool.”

  I cock a sarcastic eyebrow at my sister. “Would you like me to introduce you?”

  She rolls her eyes. “It wouldn’t matter. There’ve been pictures of him and this yoga instructor in Paris. Social media is going nuts about it. Everyone’s depressed.” Locking eyes with me she mutters, “I might be in my forties but I can still get excited about a rockstar! Don’t look at me like that! I hope I still feel this way when I’m in my eighties! Hell, nineties!”

  “Mom!” Ryder calls out. “When are we eating lunch?”

  Over the steady hum of the engine she calls back, “It’s here whenever you’re hungry, Rye. But maybe Captain Jack can find a calm nook where we can drop anchor.” She gets a wave from Jack, a man who knows his way around.

  Ryder and Jimmy return to talking, their swim trunks flapping in the wind, Ryder’s handsome face is to us as his friend’s shoulders shake with laughter.

  Jen smiles like she wishes my nephew was a little boy still. I can see it in her eyes. They sharpen as she turns to me. “You have to give this girl a shot, Tanner. I need more children in my life.”

  I rake my hair and stare off. This is the first time the thought of children didn’t make me wince, and I don’t like this change. “You’ll be waiting a long time. Her father and I had…an altercation years ago. He won’t let me near her.”

  “Did you take over his company?” she asks before sipping.

  “No, my friend had hired him. I visited the work-site a couple times because I was sleeping with a woman in town…” I trail off.

  “So why fight? I don’t understand.”

  Water gently laps against the boat as we slow to a float in an alcove of tulle weeds and rocks. I lower my voice and confess, “I was never sure. We’re both naturally gruff, stubborn, alpha-males. I assumed when he came at me that I’d said something he didn’t like. Didn’t really matter. I was happy to fight, back then. Had a lot of pent up aggression, and I’m ten years younger so I wanted to prove myself to him. We’re both perhaps a little…arrogant.”

  Jen adjusts her ponytail. “So dumb.”

  “She’s all I can think about. But even if her father wasn’t Jake, she’s in Atlanta, and I’m here. She has a large family. I doubt she’d want to live in San Francisco. And my penthouse has had so many women in it I wouldn’t want to dirty our time together with those ghosts. She deserves better. Plus it’s too dark. I’d want to see her smile inside a house with more light, like the first property she showed me, or the modern one where the sunlight made her hair look golden brown.” I stop because my sister is smirking at me. “What?”

  “You don’t even know you’re head over heels.
”

  “I am not!” I set the glass down and break the stem. Eyeing my fingers for blood I hear my sister sigh.

  “Oh, Tanner, the mighty fall the hardest. You need to go back to Georgia and make this woman’s family like you. Does she return these feelings?”

  Captain Jack interrupts us. “I’ve dropped anchor, and I’m going to go below deck, leave you to your lunch, folks. If you need me, I’ll be reading.”

  We nod as Ryder and Jimmy stroll up, coming into earshot. My nephew sees me tossing the broken glass into our trash bag, and asks, “You drop it, Uncle Tanner?”

  “No, just…don’t know my own strength,” I mutter, wiping up what splashed out.

  Distracted, Jen instructs them which sandwich is theirs, based on the scrawl she wrote on biodegradable wax paper.

  Rising up I walk to the front of the boat for a moment alone. I know from the scream that Emma gave, just as much as from those kisses, that she returns the feelings I have for her. It punched me, that sound, and I have to admit that it may have been the only thing that could have gotten through, when I was in that stubborn headspace. If it was a tantrum it wouldn’t have worked. It wasn’t that. It was a primitive unleashing of disapproval, refusal to accept my stubbornness, and maybe even pain.

  And then she stood there and informed me that I needed to get my act together. No pouting. No crying. No signs of immaturity, begging, desperation, none of it. Just a woman saying she had had enough and it was up to me to step up or get out.

  I loved it.

  Chapter 26

  EMMA

  “Give me my niece!”

  Ethan sets the swaddled little love in my arms while his wife, Charlie looks on, exhausted but eyes shining. I’m not alone with them—that wouldn’t be possible today. This hospital has been taken over by the Cockers, chaos and all. After what happened to Gabriel, the paparazzi, Uncle Jaxson going to jail so Dad could stay here, Kaya is finally born and surrounded by the loving faces of our immediate family, while cousins, aunts & uncles, Grandpas and Grandmas, and of course dear old Grams, wait for their turns.