Sing a Song of Love

by O'Grady, Sian

  “She is great. I spoke to her just before and apparently the new baby is a wee angel, though she always says that! She is home now and Mum is staying with her for a couple of weeks to help out.”

  Jessie was talking animatedly about her family and it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself. What was wrong with me?

  “What’s up Mack?” Jessie was looking at me with a confused expression and I realised my face must have said that I was miles away.

  I apologised for being distracted and made up a plausible work excuse. She accepted that and I turned around to Robbie on my other side, determined to keep my distance until I had worked this thing, whatever it was, out of my system.

  In the past when I had got caught up on a girl a lot of sex and hanging out had cured me. Usually after a few weeks I found that whatever had been intriguing was wearing thin! Alina said that was because I was a workaholic with commitment issues but that wasn’t totally true. I just found that after a few months the predictability of the relationship bored me. I liked to be surprised by people’s responses which was one of the things I loved about Jessie. But copious amounts of sex wasn’t going to be a cure in this instance as Jessie had made it abundantly clear that the relationship needed to stay professional.

  I was glad for the distraction when our mains arrived and I tucked in realising that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I was glad my plate was piled high!

  “You must have been starving Mack,” and I looked up to see Jessie watching me hoe in.

  I laughed as I realised I had hardly came up for air since starting my meal and that the others were lagging way behind.

  “It was a big day in the office and I miss my secretary from back home who always feeds me regularly when I forget!” And I made a mental note to remember to get her a memento from this tour.

  “That sounds really handy. Lance was saying that you are responsible for all the Scottish bands signed but that you don’t usually tour anymore. Are you enjoying being back on the road?”

  “I’m actually surprised at how much I have missed it. Love my job back home but a lot of what I do requires me spending long hours in the office. This is a welcome change.”

  With a full stomach it was easier to talk to Jessie and I had the urge to rip off her clothes, for now, under control. We managed to fill in the next half hour with general work chatter and it was a relief to feel the tension between us disappear.

  I overheard Cam telling the boys about a band that was playing later that he thought they might like to check out. They were keen as they loved listening to music almost as much as playing it. Jess wasn’t though as she was still recovering from her lack of sleep over the last few days and I found me agreeing to drop her home.

  I picked up the bill and we all headed to the car park.

  I was relieved that Cam was happy to take over my chaperoning duties as I wasn’t use to the hours Lance, Robbie and Josh kept. I hadn’t been joking when I had told Jess I was up at Matapouri recuperating. I had spent years listening to bands in noisy bars and these days my ears just preferred the sophistication of my iPod eighty per cent of the time.

  Jessie hopped in beside me and gave me directions back to her house.

  I pulled up outside a quaint, wooden cottage that was surrounded by well-established trees in what looked like an older part of Auckland. It felt sleepy and quieter than the more modern parts and I could see why Jessie had chosen to live here.

  I killed the engine and turned round to look at her. The light from the street lamp was filtering in through the window picking up the red glints in her hair and I couldn’t help myself reaching across and pulling her close.

  I breathed in her scent and promised myself it was just a goodnight hug but as my lips went to kiss her forehead chastely I felt Jess tilt her head up. I saw her parted lips and wide hazel eyes looking at me full of longing and couldn’t resist. I dropped my mouth to hers and tasted her lips.

  My hands found their way to her face and I cupped it, gently drawing her in closer. She opened her mouth hungrily as I struggled to keep my desire for her under wraps. I felt like I was breaking a promise but Jess seemed to be giving me the red light so I let myself go. More than anything I wanted to end the night in her bed enjoying that body which I remembered so well.

  I tugged her top up and was surprised and very happy to discover the lack of a bra. Her nipples were already erect and the feel of their hardness brushing against my hand made me want to rip her top off and take them in my mouth.

  “We shouldn’t Mack but I can’t seem to help myself around you.”

  Jessie was looking at me with such longing mixed with confusion that I wasn’t sure how to precede. She brought out such a range of emotions in me that my usual assurance evaporated.

  “All I know Jess is that I don’t want to hurt you but I also can’t stop wanting you.”

  As if to prove my words my hand had never left her breast and was still teasing her nipple while I watched the pleasure on her face. She drew in her lower lip and arched her back, pushing her breasts even further towards me.

  My lips found hers again and I sucked in her lower lip teasing her to let me in while my hand slid up under her skirt. Her thighs were warm and inviting and I felt Jess move slightly to allow me in and I could feel the warmth of her pussy through her knickers. I felt my dick start to throb as she whimpered with desire as my fingers found her clit. It was wet and I let my thumb slid back and forth across it, dipping in every now and again to that delicious wetness.

  I wanted to bury my dick inside her and made an executive decision to relocate to her flat before we got done for indecent exposure. It had been a long time since I had had sex in a car and if at all possible I preferred the creature comforts of a bed these days.

  I grabbed her bag and lifted her out and while she fumbled for the keys I kept up my vigil behind her kissing and nibbling her neck. When the door opened we stumbled inside before I kicked it shut behind us and drew her close.

  I yanked her top over her head freeing her breasts which jiggled delightfully in thanks and dropped my head and found her first nipple while my hands went under her skirt ripping off her knickers.

  I was so busy focussing on her that I hadn’t noticed her own work until I felt her hand on my dick moving up and down. Fuck I had missed this and it had only been two days!

  I pushed her back and lifted her up, pinning her between me and the wall. I felt her arms go to my neck as she kissed me and I felt my orgasm start to build. Christ I wasn’t even inside her yet.

  I took a breath and guided my dick into her pussy while firmly holding her on each side. She gasped as I thrust up into her and wrapped her legs firmly around my waist.

  Her pussy was tightly gripping my cock and I grabbed her ass, lifting her up and down so that it could work its magic on my shaft. Her hands were in my hair holding fast and her head went back once more thrusting those beautiful tits into my face. I took the closest nipple in my mouth and sucked it in.

  Jess’s moans intensified and I drove myself in deeper and harder, pushing her down onto my cock until I felt her stiffen in orgasm. Then I allowed myself to join her in pleasurable release.

  Jess

  I couldn’t believe I had succumbed to Mack’s charms so easily. Where was my will power? I was so disappointed in myself that I could have cried but I didn’t want Mack to feel bad or like he had done something wrong. I had known exactly what I was doing when I had turned my head up to be kissed.

  Mack had been a gentleman all night, keeping his distance and I had ruined it. I just couldn’t help myself when he was near. During dinner all I had wanted to do was turn around and talk to him. I wanted to know everything there was to know about him and instead I had to be friendly but indifferent, as if he was just another guy! It felt so weird pretending to be newly acquainted when we had all this history.

  Don’t get me wrong I loved hanging out with the band and dinner was great but something was driving me t
owards Mack and whenever he was there I wanted to be talking to him, touching him. Boy did I have it bad! I could just hear Kel saying this is what you get when you deny yourself sex for a year; bad case of crazy, horny women!

  I needed a game plan and all I could think of was avoidance. It seemed like when we were together the pheromones took over and we were like two wild animals totally ruled by lust rather than sense. If this tour was going to work we needed to lay down a few rules and limit our time together.

  Part of me was saying why not have a fling while on tour but I knew myself well enough to know that was a bad idea. It was going to be hard enough when Mack left New Zealand and returned home as it was. I hadn’t known him for long but was already forming an unhealthy attachment. If we kept hooking up like this it was only going to get harder to say goodbye.

  “Mack do you think it would be possible for you to stay away from the studio over the next ten days and maybe work out of the office? I know this is a big ask and perhaps inappropriate given you are kind of like my boss but I can’t seem to help myself when you are around.” I felt embarrassed admitting my lack of will power and felt my cheeks blaze red in mortification.

  I couldn’t make eye contact with Mack and I felt his hand lifting my chin until our eyes met. His eyes looked so kind I almost cried again and I had to blink hard to keep them at bay.

  “Jessie you have nothing to apologise for. You had laid down the ground rules and I just stomped all over them. I can’t help myself where you are concerned either! And I think you are right. I’ll work from the office or my hotel room and just check in every few days to make sure things are progressing in the right direction. The boys would kill me if I stuffed it this up. They are over the moon with the way things are going and I wouldn’t want to wreck that for the world.”

  Mack sounded weary and I got a glimpse at the high standards he held himself to and felt sorry for the part I had played in this. I realised that for him this was not just any tour and I would wager anything that he loved those three boys as much as he would love any son. Mack looked like a bad boy and I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a few dark secrets from his past but he certainly wasn’t like that anymore. Under all that confidence and swagger was a heart of gold with good old fashioned morals and values.

  Mack had carried me to my bedroom and had gone to put the jug on for a cuppa. I had chuckled inside at that; I guess the Scottish were just like English about the cure all effect of tea!

  When he returned he was fully clothed and had two steaming mugs of which he handed me one. He sat down of the edge of the bed and gave me a long searching look. It was like he was checking he hadn’t done any permanent damage to what he perceived was my fragile veneer. But I was tougher than I looked and what I had been through with Jay was different. The emotional paralysis I had felt had been due to the shame and guilt I had been carrying around and there was none of that in this situation. Even knowing that the fling would never go anywhere I still wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

  “Well I suppose I better let you get some rest?” Mack was still staring at my intently and I leaned over and grabbed his hand.

  “Don’t go yet, I don’t want you to feel used or anything!” I said in an attempt at lightness and Mack laughed.

  “So now you want to get to know me as well? But can I trust you to keep your hands to yourself?”

  Mack was such a tease but I was use to that having come from a big family where nothing was sacred and instead asked if he would mind getting the ice cream from the freezer and two spoons.

  He willingly obliged and already had the lid off by the time he returned. He kicked off his shoes and hopped up beside me on the bed.

  “You kiwis sure know how to make ice cream.” It was caramel flavour with lumps of Russian and chocolate fudge and it was heavenly. In between mouthfuls we talked about our day and Mack told me about the boy’s newest song.

  “Wow I can’t wait to hear what they are working on. How long have the three of them been playing together?”

  “They have been playing together since their early teens but they have known each other since they were wee bairns. They went to school together and ever since I can remember it was the three of them. I have always gone up to the farm whenever I could to help Alina out, as after her husband walked she moved back in with Mum and Dad to help out. The boys use to tag along with me talking twelve to the dozen about this and that so I feel like I have watched them grow up. And I am still as surprised as anyone about their talent.”

  “I know what you mean. You could walk the earth to put talent like that together and still not even come close. So what sort of farm did you grow up on?”

  Mack explained that he was from a highland cattle farm and his family had been farmers for as far back as he knew. When he had finished school he had decided he wanted something else and had moved to Edinburgh where he had fallen into a music career with a big label. He had found he had a good ear for what music worked commercially and his career had grown from there.

  “But High Land Boys has to be the best band I have ever signed and to think they are local boys from back home leaves me speechless. Think it left Alina speechless too. I think she finally thought she was going to get a bit more help around the farm! Then wham! They were gone!”

  “Was Lance the only boy?” I was feeling a bit sorry for this sister of Mack’s who sounded like she was running a big farm on her own.

  “Alina has three girls as well. The oldest, Gina has recently married and she and her husband are helping Alina now which is a relief. I use to worry about her taking it all on as well as looking after Mum and Dad. The other two girls are showing no sign of wanting to leave either though which is good. It’s a fantastic place and has three wee cottages as well as the main house so there has always been room for everyone.”

  “Sounds amazing; you don’t ever regret leaving it?” I couldn’t imagine not singing but I had always wished I could combine that career option with living in the country.

  “No regret as it is always there for me to go back to. That’s the great thing about being born on a family farm as you always have a home to return to. Our parents always encouraged us to spread our wings and Alina has done the same with her kids. We knew if things didn’t work out there was a job back home.” Mack smiled at me as he looked at his watch.

  “Just about time for beauty sleep; what time did you organise to start at the studio tomorrow?”

  “Meeting at ten so very decent; think the boys all night owls like Cam so it works well.” I was feeling tired now too as it had been a long day but it had been nice hanging out with Mack talking about this and that. It also made me feel way less slutty as now that we had talked it could hardly be called a booty call!

  “Well I guess I’ll see you around Jessie and thanks for the ice cream!” Mack grabbed his keys as I pulled on my dressing gown and walked him to the door. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek and was off before I could change my mind and ask him to stay. I was seriously fooling myself if I thought my biggest danger with Mack was jumping into bed with him.

  Over the next ten days I poured all my energy into the single and getting to know the High Land Boys music. The more I heard the more I fell in love with their sound. Their folk rock sound with a bit of country thrown in was something totally new to our music scene. Even putting a label on it seemed way too simplistic. They were unique and to think til now they had never left their home village astounded me. But as Lance said all the feelings that make a good song are through interactions with people and you don’t need to travel anywhere to experience that.

  Once the single had been done and dusted we concentrated on the set they wanted to perfect for the tour. A lot of the songs were from their debut album so we were familiar with them but they also wanted to add in a few new songs. The process of getting a new song to how they wanted it was very organic so each day was fun and full of experimentation. For Cam and I it was our dream job; getting paid
for doing something that didn’t even feel like work.

  The night before we were due to leave on tour I rang Ems to say goodbye and to check all was well with the new baby. Of course I should have known Ems wouldn’t have forgotten there was a story to tell and I found myself blurting out the whole story of the fling in Matapouri right through to him now being my current boss.

  “That’s quite a story Jess and I’m not sure if I think he is an absolute rotter or should thank him for finally getting your head straight about Jay. He should have told you who he was though.” Ems sounded indignant on my behalf and I couldn’t help sticking up for Mack.

  “Yeh he should have but I think the outcome would still have been the same. I don’t know what it is about Mack but all my usual convictions and values go out the window when he is around. It is going to be interesting being on tour with him.”

  “So what’s stopping you guys getting to know each other better? Is it a no no to fraternise? Or is it something else that’s holding you back?”

  For Ems love was a black and white affair; if you loved someone then you should be together. But it was easy for her to say seeing as the guy she had fallen in love with was from the farm next door. And all they ever wanted was the exact same things.

  It wouldn’t be like that for me. Mack lived on the other side of the world and I had no idea what he wanted out of life. But I did know that for me the thought of not being able to go home to see the family whenever I wanted would be unbearable.

  “It’s not that simple Ems and no, there isn’t any rules stopping me from having a fling with Mack while on tour. But that’s what it would be; a fling, and then he would go home. He has an amazing career in Edinburgh and he would be the first to admit that he works every hour that god gives him. So where would that leave me, even thinking for one minute that he would want me to go back there with him.”