Sing a Song of Love

by O'Grady, Sian

  I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks. I hadn’t meant to get this worked up and I felt sorry landing this all on Ems lap seeing as how she had a new baby and all.

  “Jess you sound like you are already emotionally involved. Why don’t you talk to Mack? It can’t hurt.”

  “But I don’t even know if he feels the same way. Anyway the outcome is always the same. His life is in Scotland and mine is here. It will be fine, I just need to keep my distance and make sure nothing more happens. Thanks Ems, and sorry to dump this on you.”

  “Hey you don’t need to be sorry; I just wish I had a magic wand as I’m feeling a bit useless. I don’t even have any fabulous advice and I like having fabulous advice to hand out!”

  I laughed as Ems has always been the one who has made me feel better when things felt hopeless. And it had been good getting this off my chest as when I had said it out loud I knew I was right. It was never going to work. We chatted for a bit longer about Joseph and with a promise to visit as soon as I returned, I rang off.

  The next day dawned bright and clear and I felt excited to be embarking on this tour. I refused to let the realisation that there wouldn’t be a happy ending for Mack and I get in the way of what was so far the highlight of my working career.

  The taxi tooted and I grabbed my bags and locked up the house before jumping in to head for the airport. When I arrived I saw Cam was already there with the rest of the crew and I walked over to join them.

  “Hi guys, I’ll just check my bags through and I’ll meet you in the departure lounge.”

  “Sounds good, do you need a hand with your bags?”

  “No all good Robbie but thanks.” I smiled at Robbie and couldn’t help think for the umpteenth time what a great guy he was. A delightful blend of charm and sensitivity and I loved the way he rocked out on stage with not an ounce of self-consciousness.

  I took my place in the queue and was lost in my thoughts when I felt warm breath on my face and a familiar voice asking ‘a penny for them’.

  I turned round to see Mack grinning at me and I couldn’t stop the joy I felt at seeing him again flood my face.

  “Oh sorry was a mile away. I thought you were already checked through seeing as the boys were here.”

  “They went on ahead as I needed to swing by the office to pick up a few things. How good is it to finally be on the road?”

  Mack’s excitement was contagious and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was pretty amazing to think that tomorrow night we would be performing our first concert.

  “It feels good Mack and seeing the single at the top of the charts yesterday was a good omen.”

  “Rang Edinburgh yesterday and gloated! When I first told them about the boys they had serious doubts. I think they thought I was raving about them because he was my nephew so hearing them eat their words was a sweet moment.”

  “You wait until you hear the set tomorrow night. I think you are going to be impressed.”

  “I heard your final rehearsal yesterday from the recording box. It was phenomenal. The boys in there were singing and tapping along during the whole performance and that for me is the litmus test of good music; music that draws you in and forces an interaction. If you guys can illicit that response from a sterile studio then it will be magic on stage in front of a big crowd.’

  It was great to hear Mack say that. We thought we were good but to have it confirmed took the uncertainty out of the equation and just left the fun of the performance.

  “I think I am about to have the best six weeks of my life.” And I couldn’t help myself reaching up and hugging Mack. It just felt right as I couldn’t help but think I owed this current success to him. He hugged me back and it felt good to be drawn into his warmth and feel his arms around me.

  Funnily enough after we had that chat and hug things felt a lot simpler between us and the next twenty four hours went by smoothly. Either that or we were just so busy there was no time for it to be any other way!

  It was fantastic to be in Queenstown. It was an idyllic spot set next to an inland lake with the most amazing turquoise blue water that managed to look not only cold but deep. The township was nestled at the tip of the lake and was surrounded by huge mountain ranges that seemed to spring out of the water in their quest for the sky. The peaks in summer were still capped in snow and made for a nip in the air.

  The concert was an outdoor event and the roadies had been working for the last few days getting it ready and by Friday mid-morning we got to see the set up for the first time. The stage was in a dry grassy field that was dwarfed on either side by mountain ranges and it had the feel of a natural amphitheatre.

  I looked across at Cam and his face said what I was feeling. He grabbed my hands and was twirling me around when I heard someone calling my name.

  I turned around to see Dazz walking over. His real name was Darren but he had been nick named a long time ago for his ability to dazzle, generally the opposite sex. I had known him for years as he did the scaffolding for most of the concert sets around New Zealand.

  “Thought I recognised that thatch of curls, how you doing darling?” And he swept me up in a big hug and kissed me firmly on the lips.

  Normally I would protest at that sort of treatment but with Dazz it just went with the territory. He was the biggest, try hard flirt I knew but he was great for the ego and a really nice guy underneath all the bravado. And I always felt better after a dose of Dazz so maybe he was doing us woman a service. He sure made us feel like the centres of the universe!

  He put me down to catch up with Cam and I looked up to see Mack looking as black as thunder. I wondered what had gone wrong to have him looking like that.

  “Jess, Cam; come check out the stage.” Lance called.

  I forgot about Mack’s problems and went to join the guys on stage.

  “Wow this really is something. It’s like the Glastonbury of New Zealand!” Robbie was drinking in the vista of the surrounding ranges and it really was a majestic view. They couldn’t have picked a better spot to kick off the first concert.

  “OK let’s see what we sound like out here?” Lance grinned round at us as we took our places and then counted us in.

  The sound rehearsal went smoothly and when we finished we organised to head back to Queenstown for a rest before tonight.

  “Hey Jess you want a ride back to Queenstown? I know the best hot chocolate shop where we could grab a bite to eat.”

  “That sounds fabulous Dazz, it’s a stunning spot but man it’s cold out here!”

  Dazz grabbed my arm and helped me down the steps from the stage.

  “You guys rocked that stage and you looked hot!” Dazz was giving me his best smouldering look and I laughed.

  “You’re a liar but thanks anyway!”

  I had on old jeans, sheepskin boots and a huge, old, fishermen’s rib jersey which hid layers of thermals underneath. I looked more like Michelin man than anything that resembled hotness!

  “Jess can I see you for a minute before you leave.” Mack barked out.

  “I’ll meet you at the car park Dazz. Won’t be long.” I walked over to Mack to see what he wanted.

  “Don’t you think you should be heading back to the hotel for a rest rather than heading out on a date?” Mack looked aggravated and I wondered again what was happening that was causing him to look so grumpy. It seemed so out of character for him.

  “Just getting a bite to eat first. Will be back at the hotel resting within an hour I promise. I know you’re probably nervous about tonight but it’s going to be fine.” I said in an attempt to reassure Mack.

  “It won’t be fine if you’re not up to it. I know about Dazz’s reputation and I know how quick you are to jump into bed with random men. Don’t mess this up Jess.”

  I could feel my eyes start to prickle with unshed tears and I blinked them away determinedly. How could Mack say that? I felt so angry and stupid for having thought it was anything more than a fling. Mack must slee
p with different woman all the time so why would he think I was any different. I turned around and hurried off determined that he wouldn’t see how hurt I was.

  Dazz looked over at me with concern when I got to the car park.

  “You right darling? I wouldn’t worry too much about the big boss. They always have a bee in their bonnet on the opening night.” He gave me a reassuring hug and his kindness almost brought me to tears again.

  “I’m fine Dazz and thanks. Was having a sensitive moment but your right, Mack is probably just being as ass because he is stressed.”

  I tried to shrug his words off as I enjoyed lunch with Dazz. It was an amazing café and the served real hot chocolate, made from melted chocolate and laced with whatever your heart desired. I had mine with a hint of ginger and it was heavenly and by the end of lunch I felt back to good spirits.

  “Thanks Dazz that was just what the doctor ordered.”

  “I thought you would appreciate this café. It’s been my daily ritual ever since I arrived; will have to watch my waistline at this rate,” he said patting his washboard stomach with a grin.

  I laughed at the absurdity of his comment as bodies didn’t come much better than his and he winked at me and laughed too.

  “Glad to see you back to smiles Jess. Come on and I’ll drop you back!”

  He stopped outside the hotel and came round to open my door. After helping me out, he gave me a kiss goodbye and headed off.

  I let myself into my room and flopped down on the bed trying not to go over what Mack had said in my mind again. I set my alarm for four and snuggled down to listen to my iPod.

  Mack

  I couldn’t believe I had been such an ass yelling at Jessie like that. As soon as the words had left my mouth I regretted my outburst and I could see how hurt Jess was before she walked off. I wanted to go after her but I knew in this mood I was likely to make things worse so I let it be. Instead I stomped round the set taking it out on everyone whom I came in contact with.

  “What’s your problem Mack? Or is this your normal opening night style?” Lance was looking at me with amusement while the rest of the crew looked on interestedly. I think they thought Lance was about to be chewed up and spat out! I took a breath and reigned in the emotion I was feeling before I smiled at Lance.

  “Something like that. Sorry guys!” I yelled out before I turned to Lance. “Thought you would be back resting?”

  “I’m too excited to sleep. Can’t believe you found this spot for our first concert Mack. You are the best uncle in the whole world!”

  “I’m your only uncle you noggin but I’m glad you like it. I came to an outdoor festival here on my first tour to NZ, Strawberry Fields. Was unforgettable and I remember thinking at the time that the atmosphere of that day was due largely to this.” I opened my arms to the valley and ranges behind me like a priest starting off a sermon.

  “It sure is something. Hope we can do it justice.” The tone in Lance’s voice made me look closer and I saw the apprehension on his face. I had been so busy being a jealous ass that I had forgotten my promise to look after the boys. Of course they had nerves this was their first ever concert.

  “I’m just about done. What are Josh and Robbie up to? Maybe we could head back to the hotel for a spa and massage.”

  “Is that the usual before a big concert? Sounds a bit girlie!” I laughed at Lance’s disdainful face as I put my arm around him.

  “Come on we’ll round up the boys and I’ll introduce you to fineries of being a rock star. Soaks and massages are top of the list!”

  Keeping the boys distracted from tonight’s concert was a god send as it kept my mind off my own troubles. And by the time we left the spa we were all in great spirits and ready for the main event.

  I headed back to my room to get ready and to ring Alina. She had been concerned that the boys were too young to handle the pressure of touring and I wanted to reassure her that they were fine.

  I placed the call and was glad to hear Alina’s familiar voice on the other end.

  “Hello Alina. How are you?”

  “Oh I’m fine Mack! How’s my boy? And Robbie and Josh? I’ve been thinking about them all day. I hope they are OK?”

  “Few nerves but mostly excitement. You should be so proud of them. And they are ready. They sound great!”

  “Oh that’s a relief! Lance did ring this morning but it’s hard to tell with that one. He always sounds bright even when he is out of sorts. Glad you are there to keep an eye on them.”

  I asked her how the farm was going and she filled me in on the latest happenings and I was glad to hear that Hamish, Gina’s husband, was working out so well. I told her about my trip up north and swimming with the dolphins and Jessie popped out of my mouth in general conversation before I could think to censor it. You don’t let anything slip with Alina as she has a six sense when it comes to me or any of her bairns.

  I set off the inquisition and ended up spilling the whole story, ending with this morning’s outburst. She was a great listener and I felt better for finally talking to someone about Jessie.

  “It sounds like you have feelings for this one Mack. What are you going to do about it?”

  “Nothing Alina. We come from different sides of the worlds and I can see that she would never leave New Zealand any more than I could Scotland. Jessie comes from a large, close family and I couldn’t do that to her. Anyway you know how my career is; it doesn’t leave much time for a relationship.”

  “But you can’t live like that for ever Mack. Don’t you want to give it a chance with Jessie to see where it goes?”

  “Nope just sounds like a distraction I don’t need right now. It’s hard enough not thinking about her as it is without adding fuel to the fire. Anyway I want to stay focussed on the boys’ tour and I can’t do that if I’m mooning around about a girl.”

  I could hear Alina laughing about that and telling Gina who by the sound of things had been listening in. Nothing was ever sacred with the women in our house.

  “Gina said she can’t imagine you ever mooning about a girl and that she must be something. What do the boys think of her?”

  “They all get on like a house on fire. In that respect things couldn’t be better. It will be fine Alina, I just need to keep my distance, and in a few months I’ll be home and it will all fade in to the past.”

  I could hear Alina clicking her tongue which she did when she thought someone was talking baloney.

  “Well give that son of mine a big hug and tell him to break a leg! And for what it’s worth I think you owe Jessie an apology for this morning’s outburst.”

  It had been good to talk to Alina and she was right that an apology was in order. But it had also confirmed in my mind that it would never work between the two of us. We had such different lives. Now I just needed to work on keeping the jealousy under wraps and stop acting like a possessive caveman.

  I returned to the set early to make sure everything was ready for tonight and after I had gone through my list I finally relaxed and let the excitement for tonight build.

  People started filling up the grounds around four and by six the field had disappeared under the mass of bodies. The noise level was rising and you could hear their excitement. Shortly after that the flood lights came on amidst a mighty cheer and I couldn’t contain my grin.

  I found myself a good spot on the wings just before the guys were due to come on stage. The crowd by this time had enjoyed the opening act but were ready for the main event. They were starting to chant their name when Lance walked out. The crowd erupted and kept up the chanting and stamping as Robbie and Josh took their place, along with Jessie and Cam and the backing orchestra.

  Lance put his hands up in greeting as he leant into the microphone, “Hello Queenstown. How you all doing tonight? And more importantly are you ready to have some fun? We’re going to start off with one of our favourites. It’s a song about home, a place nearly as beautiful as this. Are you ready boys?”


  Lance counted them in and I couldn’t help grinning proudly. He was born to be on stage and was a natural!

  By the time they had finished the first song the crowd was solidly behind them yahooing and whistling and stamping their feet. It was like there was a massive barn dance going on in the valley and when Robbie swapped his guitar for the banjo in the next song and stepped up the tempo the crowd roared in appreciation.

  Jessie looked incredible up there. She too was made to perform and was in her element up on stage. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as was probably the case for every man in the audience. She had a charisma that wasn’t just sexual. The way she moved, her facial expressions and the pure honesty in her voice was like an open door to whom she was and it drew you in like a fish on a hook. Lance had the same quality but for me tonight it was all about Jessie. I found it hard to believe a label had not snapped her up before now.

  When the show ended the crowd started up a chant of ‘encore’ till everyone came out on stage once more. They had saved one of their new songs for this moment and the crowd loved it. It was a slower ballad but catchy and by the time they had sang the chorus through twice half the audience were joining in which the boys up the front were encouraging. It was a stellar performance and I was almost as sad as the crowd below when it ended.

  They took their final bows amid thundering applause and walked off stage.

  “Well Mack did we pass?” said Lance grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  I swept him up in a bear hug, “with flying colours, so proud, and I can’t wait to see what the papers say tomorrow.”

  “Come here Robbie and Josh,” and I hugged them as well. I was bursting with pride and only wished Alina and the other boys parents had got to witness this too.

  “OK how about drinks on Edinburgh? After that performance I think they owe us a good night out! What do you say Cam and Jess?”

  Cam was jumping up and down and was on the same energy high as me and Jessie, though looking doubtful, nodded her head. Crap I had forgotten my outburst. I made a mental note to apologise as soon as we had a quiet moment.