Journey of the Heart

by Mills, DiAnn; Darty, Peggy;

  The Kiowa couldn’t be trusted, and she should have stated so to the colonel.

  Why Lone Eagle sent a Kiowa was not important. She wanted to know why the message was sent at all.

  The Kiowa spoke correctly in one aspect of it all. Lone Eagle would not unite other warriors over a mere woman. His position as the chief’s son allowed him the privilege of leading war parties. If the warrior was convinced the white soldiers had his wife, his property, then he would go to any length to get her back. Yes, most assuredly pride and honor stood as the most logical answer for Lone Eagle to demand her return.

  In the eyes of the warrior, she had abandoned her husband, and the whites were to blame.

  Despite the warm quilt, Katie shivered in her sleep. What if Lone Eagle intended to punish her? Within the tribal laws, he had the right, especially if he now considered her a slave rather than an equal. Most likely she’d lost any respectability the day she left for Fort Davis.

  The last words Katie spoke to the Kiowa rang through her mind. She asked for peace, and if joining him at the village stopped the Indian raids, then she would return to him. If she truly loved Lone Eagle, then why did a life with him suddenly sound frightening? Was the trepidation due to his forcing her into marriage? She remembered how it used to be with him. She couldn’t wait to become his wife. What happened to those hopes and dreams? Was it the search for her rehoboth, the special place where she would prosper in the land, or had she resigned herself to a white man’s world?

  In the darkness, Jacob whimpered. Katie reached up and patted his back until he drifted back to sleep. Emily cried out, but moments later she, too, rested quietly. Katie’s thoughts reflected upon Peyton and his unwarranted lashing out at her. He’d been furious when she refused to repeat all of the Kiowa’s words. Oh, if she could only sleep and banish the events of the day.

  Granted, Katie recognized her own stubbornness, and she often refrained from revealing her innermost thoughts. But she didn’t see any reason to alarm Peyton about Lone Eagle’s insistence that she return to the village. Uncle Seth did know of her involvement with Lone Eagle, but she firmly believed he would not reveal such information to anyone without her permission. Why would she want to tell Peyton about the warrior? It only invited more problems. She treasured their friendship and looked forward to his regular visits, but not at the expense of giving him every secret of her life. The problem lay with Katie and Lone Eagle, not Sergeant Peyton Sinclair.

  “Katie,” Uncle Seth whispered. “I haven’t been able to sleep, and I could tell you were restless, too. Did something happen when you spoke with the Kiowa scout today?”

  “Yes,” she said softly. “I can’t seem to get it out of my mind.”

  “Do you want to talk about it? We can go outside if you like.”

  “Oh, I hate to bother you with my problem.”

  “If it is important enough to keep you from sleeping, then I want to hear it.”

  The two silently moved outside and seated themselves on the front steps.

  “What did the scout say to upset you?” he said and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders.

  She leaned her head on him. The night air had turned cool, and she chilled. “Well, to begin with, he spoke in Comanche, so that meant the colonel and Peyton couldn’t understand him.” Katie told her uncle only of the Comanche threat to all of the white people. “I told Colonel Ross about the threat.”

  “Why did the scout tell you?”

  “Probably to see if I was loyal to the Comanches,” Katie said, inhaling the scent of him, a mix of the blacksmith and the outdoors. “But I assured both the scout and the colonel that I only wanted peace.”

  “I believe you spoke well.”

  “There’s more. On the way back home, Peyton became very angry when I wouldn’t repeat the conversation word for word. We had a bit of an argument, and I walked home alone. I know he meant well, but he hit my rebellious streak.”

  Uncle Seth squeezed her lightly “I’m sorry. I should have stuck by my original decision or accompanied you to the colonel’s office.”

  “Oh Uncle, I don’t blame you. It hadn’t even entered my mind.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll pray for both of you.”

  Peyton did not visit the Colter home the next day or the next. By the end of five days, Katie determined the depth of his anger had caused him to break ties with her permanently. She knew the children missed Peyton, for Jacob asked for him. Uncle Seth began taking the little boy on short excursions, filling his hours with new sights and sounds. She knew her aunt and uncle loved the children and wanted to adopt them. Perhaps Peyton’s disappearance was good for them all. It provided a way for Uncle Seth to secure his relationship with Jacob.

  She pushed any thought of missing Peyton from her mind. Their argument proved she was better off without him. She didn’t need another man to tear at her emotions.

  “Is the sergeant out on patrol?” Aunt Elizabeth said one morning at breakfast.

  Uncle Seth rested his coffee mug on the table. “No, I’ve seen him every day this week.”

  “Well, up until this week, he had made daily visits to see Katie and the children, but I haven’t seen him this week.”

  Katie’s face reddened. “Peyton and I quarreled,” she said to her aunt. “I’m sorry. I had no idea he wouldn’t come to visit Jacob and Emily.”

  “That’s all right, dear. Maybe you two need time to mend your differences.”

  “Do I need to confront him about the matter?” Uncle Seth said. Even the children stopped eating when his voice raised.

  “I’d rather that you didn’t. Perhaps Aunt Elizabeth is right, and we just need time.”

  “All right, then, but I have no problem looking into the situation.” Seth stated firmly.

  Katie breathed in deeply. She didn’t want her aunt and uncle fretting about her friendship with Peyton.

  Sunday morning, Katie considered feigning an illness and missing church. Peyton always attended Reverend Cooper’s services unless he was out on patrol, and she really wanted to avoid him. After further contemplation, she refused to give in to her own selfish desires.

  Peyton was already seated when the Colters entered the wood and thatch-covered building and secured a bench near the front. During the sermon she found her thoughts straying. She missed Peyton, and she did want to mend their differences, but she wasn’t ready to take the first step toward reconciliation.

  At the close of the service, Peyton stood directly in her path outside the church. “You linger long enough, and he’ll be gone for sure,” Aunt Elizabeth whispered. Her aunt lifted Emily from Katie’s arms, while Jacob already held Uncle Seth’s hand.

  Peyton held his cap in hand, and when she tried to walk by him, he stepped in her way. “I would like to talk to you,” he said.

  “Our last conversation ended rather unpleasantly.” Katie stared at her family, who had stopped to visit with the Jamesons.

  “I take entire blame for our misunderstanding,” he said. “Again I apologize.”

  Katie faced him. He had such a kind face, but she didn’t see the familiar sparkle, only a cloud. She’d told Jacob the sergeant had laughing eyes. Those eyes, which had attracted her to him with their warmth and sincerity, now appeared distant.

  “It wasn’t all your fault.” Her eyes moistened, and a lump rose in her throat. “I do miss your visits to see the children, and they miss you.”

  “Jacob and Emily aren’t the only reason why I came by the cabin,” he said. “I enjoyed our little talks. Can I start calling on you again?”

  She nodded, and a tear slipped from her eye. Why am I weeping? It must be the warm day. Peyton must have seen her display of emotion, and she regretted her transparency.

  “May I stop by this afternoon?” he said, not taking his eyes from her face.

  “Yes,” Katie said, hearing her own voice tremble. “Do you remember when the children nap?”

  “I do, and I’ll be
there early. I just wanted to see you for a few minutes before going out on patrol tomorrow morning.”

  Alarm soared through her, and she didn’t attempt to disguise it.

  “Is the Kiowa scout going?”

  “No, he’s been dismissed from his duties.”

  She breathed relief. “How long will you be gone?”

  “Three or four days. It’s a routine patrol.”

  No patrols were routine as long as men hunted each other. “How many soldiers are riding with you?”

  “Eight.”

  “That’s not very many, Peyton.”

  “We need to keep enough soldiers here in case of attack.”

  “I understand.” She turned her head so he wouldn’t see any more tears, but in doing so she caught sight of the Kiowa. The Indian stood watching both of them.

  “What’s wrong, Katie?” Peyton said. “You look ill.”

  “The Kiowa is still here. I thought he would have left the fort.”

  He turned to the Indian, but by then the Kiowa had walked away. Peyton focused his attention upon her. “I would do anything to wipe the fear from your eyes,” he said, stepping closer to her. “Anything, Katie.”

  She avoided his gaze and glared at the back of the Kiowa. “Don’t leave on patrol tomorrow. Can’t Colonel Ross send someone else?”

  “I have my orders. I have a job to do,” he said. “Soldiers can’t choose where and when they want to report for duty.”

  Chapter Seven

  Katie trudged through the next two days, supplying extra activities for Jacob and Emily and insisting upon doing all the cooking. She claimed Aunt Elizabeth needed more time with the children, but in actuality Katie didn’t want to think of anything happening to Peyton or the other soldiers.

  On the third day, Katie tucked lunch into a basket and took Jacob with her to the blacksmith shop. She wanted the little boy to see Seth at work yet not be in the way of the fiery forge.

  “Will you tell me a story?” Jacob said as they prepared to leave the cabin.

  Katie remembered a story her father once told her. She grasped the child’s hand and carried the basket with the other. “A small Indian boy received a spotted pony from his father. He was excited and looked forward to riding and training it, but the pony proved wild and couldn’t be broken. After many weeks of attempting to ride the pony, the boy sought his father’s advice. ‘Pretend that you live inside the pony,’ his father said. ‘When you know the pony’s heart, then it will be your friend.’ The small boy worked hard and observed the animal and its habits. Slowly the pony began to eat from his hand and allowed the boy to stroke it. When the boy fully understood the pony, he no longer was afraid and made friends. The pony learned to love and trust the small boy, and one day it allowed the boy to ride it.”

  Katie’s story sounded simple enough, but she wanted Jacob to see Indian children were much like white children. In her opinion, understanding between the Indians and whites was the first step to peace.

  “I like the story,” Jacob said. “Even if it is about an Indian.”

  Jacob watched Uncle Seth hammer and shape white-hot metal into horseshoes without so much as a single word. After an hour passed, her uncle asked the little boy if he had anything to say. Jacob’s blue eyes grew wide, and soon a huge assortment of questions poured from his mouth.

  At noon the three sat down together. Uncle Seth and Jacob talked constantly, but Katie’s eyes darted back and forth to the front gate in hopes of seeing Peyton.

  “The patrol will be back soon,” he said.

  She immediately glanced down at the unfinished food before her and felt her cheeks warm. “I guess I don’t hide my thoughts well,” she said.

  “Not this time.” He chuckled and stretched out his long legs. Within moments, Jacob stretched out his short legs.

  They laughed at the child’s imitation. Each time Uncle Seth took a bite of food, so did Jacob. At one point, a soldier walked by and her uncle waved. So did Jacob.

  “I believe we have a blacksmith in the making,” Katie said.

  “You may be right.” When she took another longing gaze toward the front gate, he spoke again. “Katie, child, I believe you like the sergeant a little more than you care to admit.”

  She hesitated before answering, as always, running his words through her head. “He’s a good friend.”

  “All good relationships begin with friendship, and I already know how he feels about you.”

  “Did he tell you something?” Her curiosity sparked.

  “Um, yes he did, and I fully approve.”

  “Well, what did Peyton say?”

  “I’ll let him tell you for himself. The question you need to ask yourself is, how do you feel about him?”

  She wiped bread crumbs from Jacob’s mouth. “I’m not sure,” she said, searching deep within her for truth. “It’s not a simple thing, Uncle Seth. You know how things would have been if I had stayed with the Indians.” She glanced first at Jacob, who was listening to every word, then into the face of her uncle.

  “Yes, I know very well. Elizabeth and I have discussed what could have easily happened if you remained living there. We don’t keep secrets from each other, and we know you must be confused—not just about Sergeant Sinclair, but God, different cultures, grieving for Jeremiah, and how you feel about Emily and Jacob. The list is endless.”

  “Then you understand how torn I am?”

  “Of course we do. Jeremiah was my brother, and I saw the same turmoil in him. It saddens me to see you in the same situation.”

  “How did you become so wise?” Katie said.

  He chuckled, and so did Jacob. “I’ve never considered myself a wise man, but thank you. I think God gives us a measure of wisdom with each year we get older.” He lightly touched Jacob’s nose. “Much like a peppermint stick before a dose of bad-tasting medicine.”

  Shortly thereafter, Jacob showed signs of tiring. Katie suggested the two hurry home to check on Emily.

  “Thank you for bringing lunch,” he said. “Jacob, you can come by and visit me anytime.”

  “We enjoyed watching you work. Right?” She smiled at the little boy, but he wrapped his arm around Uncle Seth and hugged him.

  Sentiment seemed to strike Uncle Seth, and he pulled the little boy tightly to him. “You’re a fine boy.”

  “Will you be my papa?” Jacob whispered loud enough for Katie to hear. “Will you be my papa and not let the Indians make you die?”

  She had rarely seen a grown man cry. Even when her mother died, Pa had slipped away to weep. Yet, the tears from her uncle flowed unchecked, and she felt her own eyes do the same.

  “God bless you, Jacob,” Seth said. “I love you, child, and I’ll do my best.”

  At home, before Katie had a chance to tell what she and Jacob had been doing all morning, Aunt Elizabeth stood Emily on the floor. “Look what our Emily did while you were gone. Soon she will be running.”

  This had truly been a wonderful day. Jacob reached out in affection to Uncle Seth, and Emily had taken her first steps. What a blessing for Uncle Seth and Aunt Elizabeth.

  Katie caught herself repeating her thoughts. She had used the word blessing without considering that her thoughts indicated a belief in God. Perhaps she’d been around people who believed in Him for so long that their speech had settled into hers. Or had she begun to trust the God of the Bible?

  On the morning of the fourth day with no word from the patrol, Aunt Elizabeth suggested Katie visit Lauren. When she attempted to prepare Jacob and Emily, her aunt said the children needed to stay at home. No doubt, her aunt wanted Katie to turn the waiting hours into girl talk. Reluctantly she agreed, knowing her aunt would have more work to do with Jacob and Emily underfoot.

  The entire Jameson household, eight children in all, noisily welcomed her. When she saw Martha had all of them, except Lauren, in the midst of schooling, Katie apologized for the intrusion. She politely excused herself, but Martha wouldn’t hear of it.


  “Lauren, you and Katie just go about your visiting—perhaps a walk would do you both good,” Martha said.

  Katie shook her head. “No, Mrs. Jameson. I don’t want to interrupt your teaching. Is there any way I can help?”

  Martha wrinkled her nose at her. The gesture reminded Katie of one of the children laboring over a slate.

  “Please?”

  Martha laughed. Soon Katie sat on the floor beside one of the younger boys. He didn’t look much older than Jacob, but still he managed to read a little. She helped him write his letters and do simple addition problems on a slate. It occurred to her that Jacob needed to be learning, and perhaps she should mention it to her aunt and uncle.

  For the next two hours, Katie assisted Martha and Lauren in different levels of reading and arithmetic. Martha Jameson had taught school before she married and knew exactly how to assign lessons according to the ability of her children. As soon as a young Jameson could hold a piece of chalk or recognize a letter, she encouraged him to read and do numbers. Katie loved the way in which Martha praised her children’s work and gently instructed those who had difficulty.

  “My ma taught school before she married my father,” Katie told Martha and Lauren.

  “What all did she teach you?” Martha said, stepping over to the cook fire and stirring a pot of beans.

  “The same things you teach your children: reading, writing, arithmetic, geography, social etiquette, and history. She also taught me French. Ma always told me that the world was a big place and filled with many experiences. She encouraged me to ask questions and to dream. I remember in the evenings Pa and I used to listen to her read the Bible. I had forgotten much of the Bible teachings until Uncle Seth encouraged me to begin reading it again.”

  “Did your schooling stop when your ma died?” Martha said.

  “Just the Bible reading. When I started studying the scriptures here, it loosened my memory of what Ma used to read. My pa had graduated from a university in Connecticut and carried on my studies, except he added wilderness survival as well as the language and customs of the Comanches.” Katie thought better of mentioning the Indians, but she’d already spoken of it.