“This is adorable.” I told him, walking through the red door straight into the living room. The kitchen was open to the small space making it appear to be larger than it really was. It was modestly furnished with a simple leather couch and chair. Of course, there was flat screen TV hanging on the wall above the small tile fireplace. There were a few family photos spotting the walls and some empty spaces where it looked like he was going to be putting up some new ones.
“I don’t think any man wants his house referred to as adorable.” He said as he took the grocery bags from me and went to put them in the kitchen. It was a very small space just like the living room. It had beautiful red Spanish tiled floors that looked like they had been there long before August moved in. The appliances were all updated, but nothing over the top. He had a small dark wood table in the corner by the door that led to the backyard. The whole space was surprisingly clean, but I didn’t expect August to keep his house like a typical bachelor pad. It felt warm and cozy, like a home.
“Sorry, this is a very manly place you have.” I said while rubbing my chin and furrowing my brows. “Lots of solid looking wood and strong …” I looked around, “ and strong doorways.”
He laughed at me while putting the groceries away taking extra care in placing his economy size bag of gummy bears on counter. “All the better to pin you against.” He said while head first in the fridge.
Oh? I looked over at the doorway and imagined myself pinned against it with August leaning in close and his hands propped on the wall on either side of my head. I fanned myself with my hand.
“You okay over there?” August asked with a knowing smile on his face while he bunched up the grocery bags and tossed them into a drawer.
“Uh? Yeah, yeah. It’s hot in here.”
“What are you thinking about?” His face went from playful to serious when stalked towards me.
“Just um, I was just um, looking at your strong walls.” My voice trailed off as he moved in closer to me.
“Know what else is strong?” He waggled his eyebrows at me with a cocky grin. I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly where he was going with that.
“Not a clue.” I said smirking at him.
“The counter.” He grabbed me and lifted me up turning towards the kitchen counter. I squealed and wrapped my legs around his waist grabbing his shoulders. He set me down on the countertop and stepped between my parted legs placing his hands firmly on the counter on either side of me halting my giggling.
“The way that shirt hangs of your shoulders has been driving me nuts all afternoon.” He nuzzled into the crook of my neck and nipped and the sensitive skin. “I want to touch you, Kensie.”
“Yes…” I whispered breathlessly. He swiped his tongue along the sensitive spot below my ear sending shivers racking through my body. We’d spent a lot of time kissing and caressing, but hadn’t gone much further. I knew it wasn’t because he wasn’t attracted to me. I felt his attraction every time we were pressed together heatedly. I sensed he was waiting for me to give him the go ahead, and I was ready for something more. I brushed my hands up through his short cut hair and brought his head down further into my neck inducing a groan in him.
“You’re so sexy, Kensie.” He breathed into my ear. I tilted my head to the side giving him access as he trailed kisses up the side of my jaw to my lips. He took my mouth in his and I greedily pushed my tongue in. I couldn’t control the way my stomach fluttered at the feel of our mouths devouring each other. I pressed myself against him trying to appease the need he had created deep within me.
The sweet friction was becoming more than I could take, I had to have more. As if sensing my desire, August reached for the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. He placed wet open kisses along my collarbone and unclasped my strapless bra sending it to the floor.
He stared at me. I wiggled. I’ve had a lot of guys see me naked, but none of them looked at me. August was the first man to see me. “Don’t.” He moved my arm from where I draped it across my chest. “Don’t hide yourself from me. You’re beautiful. So beautiful.” He looked up into my eyes. “My beautiful girl.” My heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in his eyes.
He trailed down to my sensitive nipple that was perked up begging for attention. He flicked his tongue over it teasing me and making me whimper with need. He closed his mouth over it sucking and tickling with his velvet tongue creating a puddle between my legs.
The moans escaping my lips could not be controlled. I’d been possessed by lust. With a pop he let go and moved over to the other nipple giving it the same delicious attention. I yanked on his short hair gripped between my fingers and ground myself against his hardness.
“Kensie,” August panted out my name the desire dripping from his voice. I was ready to beg him to take me to his bed, but a loud knock shook the door just a few feet away.
“No fucking way.” August let out a frustrated, very frustrated groan and let his head fall onto my shoulder. I laughed softly and trickled my fingers up and down his back. “Hold that thought.” He whispered and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. He adjusted himself in his pants and headed towards the door with another frustrated grunt mumbling under his breath.
Now that I had some physical space from him, I was able to think. I couldn’t believe I almost let it go too far without telling him about my past. I was terrified of what his reaction would be, but I wanted him to know about that part of me before we went further. I had better come up with a way to tell him fast.
I prayed he’d still want me after he knew the truth. My biggest fear was he wouldn’t want me after hearing the shameful details I’ve been trying overcome. Then he’d leave me.
I shook the nagging thought from my mind and hopped off the counter. My shirt and bra went back on messily when Lennon came bounding in. She looked up at me about to say something and stopped. A lazy smirk pulled up on one side of her face. She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the living room.
“August?” she yelled at him, “Where’s your bathroom? I’ve to help Kensie wipe the freshly fucked look off her face before your sister gets here. That’ll really freak her out.” August laughed at Lennon and pointed down the hall.
“First door on the right.” His smiled softened when he looked at me and I smiled back.
Lennon flipped on the lights and pulled me into the decent sized bathroom. I took a quick look around. August had a simple white shower curtain and grey towels on the racks. They were definitely used, not the towels girls hang up to look pretty and don’t touch. My glance continued around the room and then landed on myself in the mirror.
Damn, I did look freshly fucked. My lips were swollen and already chapped. My face was flush and tiny red marks, evidence of August’s nipping, were trailing down my neck towards the edge of my t-shirt that hung off my shoulders. I ran my fingers through my hair ignoring Lennon’s grin through the mirror. “Hmph.”
“See, I told you.” She said putting the toilet lid down and taking a seat. “This is getting pretty serious with you two.” She said looking at me with sincerity.
I just nodded my head while still straightening out my hair.
“How serious? Like serious, serious?” I knew what she was asking. Lennon knew why I had sworn off all sex and that I was waiting until I was in a serious and legitimate relationship. She was asking me if this was that relationship. She was asking me if I was going to sleep with August. It was the decision that meant I had healed enough to move forward with my life.
“Serious. As serious as I can be.” I said with conviction. She grinned one of her rare sincere smiles at me.
“I’m so happy for you.” She got up to give me a hug. When she pulled away she looked at me in the eyes and said, “ I have a good feeling about him, Kensie. I think you may have found your one….but I want you to know, that if for some reason things don’t work out, it’s okay. You will be okay, and everything was worth it. Because the way I see you now, you are stronger and more confident
in yourself than I have ever seen. That’s worth something. That’s worth everything.” She took a deep breath prompting me to do the same, “but you two are going to get married and make a lot of really cute babies, so we don’t need to worry about that last part.”
I breathed out a laugh. She was right. I had grown to forgive myself and love myself enough on my own that I would be okay if things didn’t work out. Did I want to live without August, hell no, but I knew I could. I couldn’t help but think about my dad too. I had spent so much of my life up until this point consumed with what his abandonment had turned me into. I wasn’t going to let that fear of being left take over anymore, or even give it the power to exist.
Lennon turned around and opened August’s mirrored medicine cabinet above the toilet. “What are you doing?” I asked her completely confused. Was she looking for aspirin? Did she have a headache?
“Snooping.” She stated nonchalantly while pulling out his medicine bottles one at a time and reading the labels.
“Len.” I growled out in a whisper and looked around over my shoulder. What is it with doing something you know you shouldn’t that causes a person to be so paranoid? As if there are a bunch of tiny little munchkins hiding in the walls watching our every move and reporting back to August.
“Now I know why he has such stellar teeth. “ She mumbled more to herself than me. She pulled out a bottle of mouthwash, a pack of dental floss, and whitening strips. “He even has a water pick…I’ve always wanted one of these.” She pushed the button shooting a stream of water onto the wall.
“Lennon, stop. We shouldn’t be looking through his things.” At this point she was next to me on her knees and pushing me out of the way so she could better access the cabinet under this sink. She opened the doors and stuck her head inside letting out a low whistle.
“Somebody plans to get lucky.” I dropped down to my knees next to her and shoved my head in under the cabinet. “Who?”
“An economy size box of condoms.” She slid the box towards me and pats the top of it. “And ribbed for your pleasure. How sweet.”
I poked around the box making sure it really was unopened.I guess I was hopeful he bought them strictly for me. If this was the case, as it appeared to be, than he either had planned on sleeping with me often, or for a long time to come. Maybe even both? Both sounded good to me. When had I become such an optimist?
Oh, his cologne! I love the way August smells. I wanted to take this home and douse my sheets in it so I could smell him all night. Not creepy at all. I popped the lid off and closed my eyes with a deep inhale. It smelled so good, but nothing compared to the way it smelled on his skin. This clean scent mixed with his natural musk was delicious.
“Knock that off.” Lennon grabbed the bottle out of my hand. “You’re gonna get high.”
I rolled my eyes at the ridiculousness. “I am not going to get high from sniffing my boyfriend’s cologne.” Then I glanced around the tiny dark space we had shoved ourselves into and thought about the lack of ventilation. I put the lid back on the bottle and set it aside.
The bathroom door burst open from behind us sending us both jumping and slamming our heads into the bottom of the sink that sat above us. “Fuck!” Lennon cursed.
“Well, well, well.” Great, Wes had caught us snooping. “What do we have here? This is a view I wouldn’t mind seeing more often.”
I grunted and pushed myself out from under the cabinets, but Lennon was faster and I heard a smack followed by Wes’s, “Ow!” I stood up from the ground while Wes rubbed the back of his head. “Stop looking at my ass.” I glared at him.
“Close the door you pervert before anybody sees us.” Lennon shoved him aside and closed the door, but not before peeking back and forth down the hallway.
“Look, Kensie,” Wes began and held his hands up in surrender, “I’m flattered, really, I mean I’m not one to disappoint, but August would kick my ass.” I looked at him confused. What was he talking about? “But, Lennon,” he looked at her and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “I’m down. Let me just say now I don’t want this changing anything between us. It’s completely casual, no strings attached, and Kensie…I don’t mind if you watch. I mean, if you like that kinda thing.” Oh gross. He though we were in here propositioning him…together. Now it was my turn to smack him. I shoved him in his gut causing a grunt.
“Sick, Wes. My vajajay is not that desperate.” Lennon reached up and pinched his arm.
“Ouch. Damn, you two are abusive.” He whined rubbing the spot Lennon attacked.
“We’re snooping through August’s shit.” She told him. I thumped my hand against my own head at her bluntness.
“Awesome.” Wes replied doing a fist pump. “I’ll take the medicine cabinet! You girls get back on your knees.”
I thought about smacking him again, but it was no use. Wes opened the cabinet and pulled out a larger bottle. “Gummy bears!” He popped the lid off and dumped a handful into his hand. I grabbed the bottle from him to read the label wondering what heck August was doing putting gummy bears in his bathroom.
“Wes wait! They’re gummy vitamins.” Too late, he was already chewing his handful and just shrugged at me. “Princess gummy vitamins?” August had princess vitamins?
“Yessss, I get all the Jasmines!” Wes grabbed the bottle back from me.
“You only like Jasmine because she’s half naked. What about Belle who reads, or Mulan who kicks ass?” Lennon’s voice was muffled from under the cabinet.
Wes stopped chewing and looked like he was thinking. I guess he can’t do both at the same time. “Okay…Ariel. I get all the Ariel’s. Ariel is my girl.” He held the bottle up and peered inside.
“That’s even worse.” I told him. “She only wears a seashell bra and,” and what else did she wear. Did she have a skirt or pants, or…no…she didn’t wear anything else. “She doesn’t even have any pants!” I yelled in disbelief.
“Who doesn’t have any pants?” August’s voice spoke from behind me.
“Shit!” I jumped.
“Fuck!” Lennon cursed from under the sink as her head clanked into it again.
Wes was busy rustling himself into the shower and closing the curtain.
“Wes, I saw you go in there.” August said to him leaning against the door way with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Dammit!” Wes cursed shoving the curtain aside and climbed back out. “They made me do it!” He shouted and pointed at us.
“She made me do it.” I pointed at Lennon.
“You guys suck.” Lennon said.
“Didn’t you guys think I would notice that I was the only one left out in the kitchen…and that you were all in here together?” He reached out and pulled me into him wrapping his arms around my shoulders and kissing my temple. I loved how often he touched me, especially when he didn’t seem to notice he was doing it. It was just second nature for him to hold me. “Did you guys find anything good?” He asked us.
“Princess Gummies?” I looked up at him in question.
“What? They were on sale.” He replied back, “I don’t like to swallow those big ones.”
“Kensie does.” Lennon patted my shoulder and Wes chuckled to himself. “Looks like you were planning on figuring that one out soon enough judging my the economy sized box of condoms under your sink.” She waltzed passed as while my face grew warm. “Get her, tiger.” She winked at August and disappeared down the hall.
I felt August’s chest shake in silent laughter and I turned in towards him wrapping my arms loosely around his neck. “That is an awful lot of condoms.” I pressed a series of kisses to his lips.
“And we are going to use every one of them.” He mumbled in between kisses. I needed to tell him soon.
Wes cleared his throat from where he stood behind us. “At the risk of sounding like a pansy, you two are really cute.” He smiled genuinely at August who smiled back. They seemed to be having some weird silent bro exchange when Lennon shoute
d from out in the living room.
“Capri and Tanner are here!”
Wes’s faced morphed into a grimace. “Why’d she bring him?”
“Um, cause he’s her boyfriend?” August questioned puzzled by Wes’s hostile reaction. I wasn’t confused at all. I caught on a while ago that Wes, whether he knew it or not, had a thing for Capri.
“He shouldn’t be. Drives me nuts watching her with that fuckwad” He huffed passed us. I could feel the tension pulse off him as he rounded the doorway headed towards the living room.
August’s body froze and he looked down at me in question. I nodded my head and rubbed my hands up and down his biceps letting it sink in. “Huh? How about that?” He still looked like he was trying to figure it out. Maybe trying to piece together how long Wes had been interested in Capri.
“Let’s get back out there before Lennon decides to start snooping through your kitchen too.” I gave August a peck on the lips and headed towards the living room.
* * *
When it was time for us all to head out to Tommy’s, Wes suggested he ride with Capri and Tanner in order to help with California’s gas emissions. I’m not totally convinced he knew what he was talking about, but he weaseled his way into riding with the two of them. Capri tugged Lennon along in their car leaving August and I to drive alone in his truck. Quietly. Silently.
He parked his truck next to Tanner’s car at Tommy’s, but the foursome had already made their way into the bar. He turned off the car, but didn’t move to get out. “You okay, Kensie?” He turned towards me and worried his lower lip between his teeth.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I lied. I had been deliberating how I wanted to tell him what I was like a few years ago. My conversation with Lennon helped me to see it was time he knew. I couldn’t keep it from him any longer if I wanted to have an honest shot at a relationship with him, and I did. I wanted everything with him. If he wasn’t all in with me, then I needed to allow him this chance at an out.
Truth In Wildflowers Page 14
