The Object Of My Obsession

by Cara North

  "I'm fine.” He looks at me and I can see a hint of shadow in his eyes, I know he is not fine but I won't press him. “I want you to come with me to the premiere. I want Henry to come also. I'll take my momma to the award show, but I want you both with me in LA for the premier. I need you both with me."

  "Jake..."

  "I love that you call me Jake now. Of course, I love a lot of things about you. Your eyes, those lips, I even like listening to you snore.” He tucks his bottom lip in and I feign shock.

  I knew when I was engaged that I was in love with Adam. I mean we were high school sweethearts; we survived college apart, and then came back together when we ran into one another at a wedding. It just seemed like time to settle down, and our old flame burned the same. I guess that was the point. It was as if we hadn't changed, we just got older. I realized why it was so easy that first year of college for him to be apart from me, he was cheating. Why I thought it would be different years later if we were to get married I can only chalk up to the pressure. My parents, my sister, even Brittany was pressuring me to settle down. I was half way through the Ph.D. program and my counselor even agreed that if I were more settled an employer may take me more seriously.

  That part was true.

  "What are you thinking about?” Jake whispers.

  "You,” And in a roundabout way I was. “My life is just so different since I met you."

  He slides his hand down next to Henry's on my stomach. “This different, is it a bad thing for you? I know yesterday..."

  "I know. But that's what I was thinking about. I'm happy, Jake. I'm scared, but happy.” And that is the truth. I think I may have wanted this deep in my subconscious. The one thing I know to my core about psychology is that it is a million times easier to look at someone else's life and be objective than it is to look at my own.

  He closes his eyes and lets out a breath. I am used to waking up to his smiles. I am not used to him looking so ... tired. “Even if it's not mine..."

  "It is.” I say and put my hand over his.

  "Still, I'll make sure you are set, I only want one thing.” He opens his eyes and they are glazed over. I feel my brows draw down in concern.

  "Name it after me. Boy or girl, just find some way to name it after me.” His eyes close and he lies back on the pillow.

  I move to be closer to him, this wakes Henry.

  "Hey, you two awake?” He stretches behind me.

  "Morning sleepyhead.” Jake says as I push up to look down at him. His eyes are closed. He squeezes them tight then continues. “Sonja wants you to take her shopping today. I need to make a few calls, take care of a few things this morning. Can you manage to get our girl in the sexiest dress possible for the movie premiere?"

  "Can you manage not to tear it off her when you see it?” Henry nudges me and I am sure he could easily get started this morning. But he can't see Jake and if he could, that erection pushing against me would be the last thing on his mind.

  Jake lets out a slight laugh. “I promise to wait till that night."

  I put my hand back and grip Henry's hard. Not in a seductive way but in a way that lets him know that I am scared to death in this moment. In this moment, I see Jake's face and I know he is hurting. He is trying hard not to show it but he is, and that is killing me. I think back to the naps he would take, cat naps he called them, ways to refuel after burning all that energy. I was blind.

  Henry lets go of my hand and is up out of the bed and moving to Jake's side in a hurry. “Hey.” He says and looks down at him. “What's happening? What do you need?"

  "It's just a headache.” He says and his jaw clenches. I know he is getting mad because he can't hide this from us. “Take Sonja out."

  "Jake,” I sit up and look down at him. His eyes open and he looks at us.

  "Go dammit. I don't want to explain it. I don't want you to sit over me like I am fucking dead already, just go. Go out. Go out for a few hours and I will be fine okay?” He is furious.

  Henry leans back and I scramble from the bed.

  "Fuck!” He shouts. He puts a hand to his temple then says quietly, “So', Sonja come back here. I didn't mean to scare you. I just ... I don't want either of you tiptoeing around all morning. My head is splitting right now. I just need to rest, to be quiet."

  I crawl back into the bed. He stretches out the hand he has to his head. I take it. I fight the burn of my eyes, the sting of tears I won't shed because that is not what he wants or needs right now. I kiss his hand and say, “We'll go out for a while. We'll bring you back something to eat, okay?"

  He nods.

  I get out of the bed and grab my clothes. I look at Henry. He takes Jake's hand and holds it. Jake still has his eyes closed. Henry looks over his shoulder at me and I can see his heart breaking. I bare witness to this fresh pain. I turn and head into the bathroom as quick as possible.

  Once there I turn on the shower. Not because I need one, because I need to cry. I sit on the tile floor and weep. My loves. My friends, they are both hurting. We as a trio share this pain. I must stay strong. I put a hand over my belly, I don't feel pregnant. Yet I know, I must stay strong for all of us.

  Henry taps on the door and calls my name. He opens it and when he sees me there, he comes inside quickly and gathers me off the floor.

  "Come here, baby.” He whispers. “I know ... I know."

  I cling to him like a lifeline. He holds me for what seems an eternity. “We need to get dressed and get out of here. He will suspect..."

  I let out a strangled laugh. “He'll suspect I'm crying."

  I think it is a bit strange that we have to hide our sadness, but it would be perfectly okay if we were in the bathroom having sex together.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend

  "That's hot.” Henry says to yet another little bra and panty set.

  "Henry, you are not helping me narrow anything down. If all you have to say is ‘that's hot'...” I walk back into the dressing room. This place is insane. I am insane for even trying this stuff on but he won't take me anywhere the underwear is less than three hundred a piece. I reach back to unfasten the bra and feel fingers. I yelp.

  He laughs. “Shhh, you'll get us caught."

  "Henry,” I start but he finishes with a kiss on my lips.

  "I keep saying they look hot because they do.” He puts my hand over the front of his shorts and I know he is telling me the truth. His erection is proof enough. “Face the mirror."

  I turn and face myself and look at Henry standing behind me. He licks his lips, my knees feel weak and I know I will have to buy this pair of panties for sure.

  "Look at how beautiful you are. This peach color is almost nude, and the black lace trim is naughty. I want to take you right here.” He puts his thumbs in my panties and runs the trim along my ass until they are inside and between my legs, right outside the lips of my pussy. “Lean forward."

  "But someone might see.” I weakly protest as I lean forward. This distraction will help us both forget about why we left the loft.

  He laughs and I hear the zip of his shorts. “They won't come back here, trust me."

  I watch his face in the mirror. His eyes are heavy, lusty. He holds the panties over with one hand and his cock in the other. I tiptoe, move my feet apart to give him better access. I look at him looking at me as he places his cock against my hot flesh. The mirror lets me see his expressions and I am so turned on by him I push back and watch his face relax as he groans.

  "You look good back there.” I feel a wave of tingling electricity carry over me.

  "Look at you.” He says and I focus on myself for a moment.

  I am startled by the flush of color on my chest, my cheeks. My eyes are dilated; lips open, his fingers press into my hips and pull me back deeper onto him. I try to whisper, “Oh Henry!"

  "This won't take long.” He groans, within a few thrusts I am witnessing his face tighten and his toes cross as he comes. His head
falls forward, his throat works. Damn he looks good.

  "I guess this one is a keeper.” I laugh. He nibbles my shoulder.

  "I'll pull the tags off. Grab the others too.” He tucks himself away and sighs, a great sigh of satisfaction. My clit throbs and I know that my great satisfaction will have to wait. “Now we need a dress."

  "I don't think I can afford the underwear.” I say as I pull on my shorts.

  "You have the credit card right?” He lifts a brow. I nod. He heads out of the dressing room. “You have enough, trust me."

  Henry walks out of the room as I pull on my shirt and feel guilty about buying all this. Then I remember that Jake is sick and if I don't he will surely be hurt. The concept of spending three hundred dollars for a bra is just making me sick to my stomach. I look in the mirror and I am smiling. Maybe it doesn't hurt to bad to buy an overpriced bra after all. I lift my shirt and look at my flat belly. Until I met these two, I worked out for two hours a day to get this body. I know it is a luxury to have that kind of time, but it would be easy to just sit around, read or write, and grow fat and lazy with a job like mine.

  "You still getting dressed?"

  "No.” I open the curtain and walk out with the armful of underwear. “Here is a bag for the ones you wore in here. I bought the ones you have on."

  "Henry!” I don't want to spend Jake's money much less Henry's too. Especially since, he has already paid for my trip here.

  "Hush,” he puts a finger up to my lips. Then he hugs me. “Besides, I'll only get to enjoy them a little while longer anyways. Soon you'll be all fat and waddley."

  "That's not even a word.” I pinch him on the arm.

  "I hope he gets to see it.” Henry sobers. “I hope you'll let me be there with or without him, especially if it's..."

  "Henry,” my voice is a whisper. “I hope that its Jake's because of the situation, but I would want you there because you are a part of our lives. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I go home and you two go ... wherever you two will go."

  "To his parent's house. It's where we always go, together or separate. They kinda took me in when my folks died.” We stop talking long enough to buy the clothes. As we walk out, I am naturally drawn to the gelato stand. “It started with the Christmas I got divorced. Then the Thanksgiving, and it turned into whenever I wasn't on location I would go home."

  "Did you want children when you were married?” I ask and then place my pistachio order.

  "Yeah.” He nods. “I wanted it all."

  "Can't have your cake and eat it too?” I get it now.

  "Well someone I know is trying to convince me that there is no point in having cake if you can't eat it.” He takes a bite of my ice cream.

  "You should listen to her.” I bump him with my hip as we walk.

  "Yeah?” He quirks his eyebrow.

  I nod. Then the rascal grabs my gelato and makes a run for it.

  Of course, he doesn't get far before he turns around and sticks his tongue out at me. “Come on slow poke."

  "I have too many bags, I am in sandals, and I am pregnant remember?” I use every excuse under the sun.

  "Well, the longer you take, the more for me.” He takes another bite of my pistachio flavored obsession and I pick up the pace and jog towards him. He laughs. I love to hear him laugh.

  I savor the last few bites as we make our way to the next shop. I know by looking in the window that I would never come here alone. I wouldn't even think to step into this place.

  Once inside I am faced with large white walls, luxurious couches, chairs, and beautiful clothing. The clerk looks like a supermodel and the woman walking towards us looks like she just stepped off a runway. I feel much underdressed, very awkward. Henry greets her and says something to her in Italian. The woman looks me up and down, walks around me, inspecting me.

  "Guess that went well.” I say as she walks off.

  "I think so.” He nods and follows her into the shop.

  Chocolate covered fruit and champagne is served. I take a strawberry but leave the drink for Henry. He crinkles his nose and the lady leaves the plate of fruit with us. I am on to the grapes when the runway assistant returns.

  She has one dress in her hands. One. Her confidence annoys me.

  She speaks in Italian and I can't understand anything because she is talking so damn fast.

  "Try it on.” Henry says.

  I take the dress and the shoes hidden in her hand underneath it and walk into the dressing room.

  Italian women are almost as bad as French women; they know every fucking thing about fashion.

  I am totally in love with this dress. I am head over heels in love with these shoes.

  "Henry,” I don't see any price tags on this number but man I want it. I want it bad.

  "Come out here.” He says. I walk out and he nods his approval. “Missing just a few details though."

  "I love this dress.” I say and run my hands down the smooth black fabric. I feel like a million bucks in this thing.

  "Here.” He says and passes me a box.

  My knees go weak until I hold it in my hand and realize that it isn't a ring box. I am barely breathing.

  "Open it.” Henry moves to stand behind me.

  I stand there with the box in my hand and I look at it like it will open itself. It's not a ring, but it is a gift. A real present, not something form this store, but definitely something from Henry.

  "I'll help.” I feel his front against my back. I can smell his aftershave and that undercurrent of Henry unique to him. His breath tickles my cheek as his head moves to be next to mine. His hands grip the box and open it. One arm then moves to wrap around me. I need the support. “Well?"

  My mouth opens, it closes. They are at least a carat each, diamond earrings, and one earring is larger than my previous engagement ring. Insane. Beautiful. My mouth opens again.

  "Let's put em’ on.” He takes one out and carefully puts it in my earlobe.

  I feel seduced by his actions. My body is liquid heat, everything is in slow motion, everything is hyper-sensitive. “Henry."

  "I love when you say my name like that.” He whispers in my ear then gently kisses my cheek. “I hope you like them. I had planned to give them to you days ago but you were so excited to see Italy I got excited too and forgot them."

  "They're too much. It's too much.” I feel the tear streak my cheek though my voice doesn't reveal that I am crying.

  His lips touch my neck. Then he places the second earring in my other lobe. “Look,” He turns me toward the mirror. “You're beautiful."

  I am, except for the tears turning my eyes red.

  His fingers come up they wipe my tears. “Should I say they're fake?"

  I shake my head no.

  "How about if I knocked out an old lady and stole them?” He bites his lower lip. I laugh. “There we go. Look at that smile. You're going to steal the spotlight you know?"

  I watch my face flash with horror at the thought. “They won't ... I mean no one cares who..."

  "Everyone will know who you are after this premiere. You will be a friend to Jacob Brandon, a new woman; seen with both of us ... I suspect you will be the talk of the town.” He makes his thinking face and is obviously satisfied with the thought. My mouth opens and he uses his thumb to push my chin up to close it. He snorts and says, “Don't worry. At least not right now. We can figure things out later. Right now we should get this dress, make one more stop, and check in on Jake."

  "We should bring him gelato.” As if I have a one track mind gelato is my new answer to everything.

  Henry is amused. I adore him, I am flattered by the earrings, and I want to think up a special way to thank him. “Help me undress."

  His amusement fades and he takes on a wolfish smile. “We've done this once already."

  "No,” I tug his hand. “We haven't done this."

  He helps me slip out of the gown. He puts it on the hanger while I take of the shoes. I am sitting on t
he lush velvet bench and he is standing in front of me. The solid white door is closed. I tug his top button, and then slowly unzip his shorts.

  "What's this?” He asks but he also pulls my hair up to hold it away from my face.

  "No need to be coy.” I lick the tip, and then swallow him down.

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  You'll think of me

  We return to find Jake in bed asleep. I sit my bags on the desk, Henry sets the rest on the floor then hangs the garment bag. I look at Henry but he is looking at Jake. I see concern clear on his face and I know it mirrors my own.

  How did I end up here? How did I end up between these two men? How the hell can I be feeling this for both of them? It makes no sense.

  Yet here I am crawling into bed to stroke the hair on Jake's head less than two hours after giving Henry a blow job in a dressing room. I stop before touching Jake. It just now registers how open I am being with Henry. Much like I have been with Jake.

  Once my hand slides across his silky brown strands he smiles. “How do you feel?"

  "You tell me."

  Smart ass. I put my hand to his forehead, he doesn't have a fever. “I'm serious."

  "I feel better. They come and go. I just needed to sleep it off. I got up for a while then got bored. I just laid down.” He says and rolls over.

  "Scoot over then.” Henry takes off his clothes and I am surprised because he is on Jake's side of the bed not mine.

  Jake scoots towards me and I shift back. Henry gets in beside Jake.

  "You moving?” Jake asks me as I stand.

  I look at Henry and he says, “No. She is going to get in on that side and we are going to nap."

  Jake and I both look at Henry.

  I take off my clothes and grab Jake's t-shirt off the floor. I pull it on over me and get in next to him. I feel awkward. I am not used to being a slice of bread in this sandwich.

  Jake faces me, Henry settles in behind him and motions for me to come closer. I move closer and Jake shifts his thigh to slide between mine. He looks as though he is just as confused as I am by this turn of events. We are talking in face gestures, telling each other that we have no idea what Henry is up to.