The Object Of My Obsession

by Cara North

  It is in this moment that I realize I am fully a part of them. I have my own code with each of them. I have my own relationship apart and together. I am not just the filling; I am also able to hold us together. I feel Henry's hand on my waist and he pulls me closer to them. Jake is sandwiched between us. His lips on my forehead, his hand next to Henry's, partly on Henry's, I can feel peace and love ooze from each of his pores.

  "Te amo mon amore's.” He says.

  I close my eyes and nuzzle my nose against his flesh. I enjoy his scent. He smells clean and fresh like the ocean on a warm summer day. Henry is spicier like the woods. They are the yin and yang, the balance. I try not to cry. I know why it is important for us to do this, for me to be the bread in this sandwich sometimes. Our star is fading, and he needs to feel loved, cherished, the way he cherishes others.

  I don't know how long we sleep.

  I do know that when I wake up I am looking at two men looking back at me. “What?"

  They don't say a word, actions speak for them.

  Jake takes my lips for an instant as he pulls my shirt, his shirt, up and over my head. Free of the clothing he kisses me again briefly then sucks on my nipple. Electricity arcs through me. “Jake."

  He is much more aggressive and rougher than Henry. His urgency feeds my internal fire and I am arching into him, reaching for his cock and trying to maneuver to get him inside me at the same time.

  "Damn you're ready.” He says as his flesh slides over mine.

  "I tortured her all day.” Henry says from behind him.

  I look up, our eyes lock, and over Jake's shoulder, we meet for a kiss.

  Maybe it is Italy, maybe there is something about the crisp breeze and the smell of rain on the way. The window is cracked open. The outside weather infiltrates our senses and combines with the natural smell of a woman and two men. Like animals we mate.

  Licking, sucking, pulling, until at once we are all three linked together. Jake pushes into me as Henry pushes into him. I don't know when in the twist, tug, and pull he found time to get a condom and slip it on but he did.

  I can see them both over me. Henry in the distance. Jake is right on top of me. It is as if I am outside of my own body this time. I feel them both, I see their faces, and I know, somehow I know that this will be the last time we are ever like this again. As if by a force greater than each of us individually we are pulled over the edge in a lusty wave of passion. Henry throws his head forward as he pushes the last thrusts. Jake bites his lower lip and I watch the wave of orgasm take him and shake him from head to toe. As for me. I feel my legs tremble, my teeth chatter, but the orgasm is nothing grand. In fact, it is just a slight pulsing sensation. My own pleasure pales in comparison to theirs.

  Probably because of all my thoughts.

  "So, you taking a shower?” Jake asks and I snap back to reality. Henry is in the bathroom already and Jake is staring at me with one eyebrow crooked up in question.

  "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

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  Some Sweet Day

  I would like to tell you that the story gets better from there. That we lived happily ever after.

  It's been a year now.

  You didn't die of the brain tumor like we expected. Instead, you were killed in an automobile accident. I told you to fly. You said the take off and landing of the plane gave you a splitting headache and you wanted to drive.

  Henry and I waited and you never showed.

  We saw it on the news. You didn't make it out of the city.

  Henry got a movie role shortly after that and though we spoke on the phone, we hadn't seen one another until I was seven months pregnant. He showed up at my door and proposed to me.

  In a hormonal rage, I refused. I felt betrayed, lost, and confused. I had lost two men in my life and the third fell asleep on the porch swing since I refused to let him in, and he refused to leave.

  I had to share this story with you. The story of us. I can't very well tell the media though Henry is gaining popularity. He thinks he is through with acting. He said he took the movie role to have enough money to settle down with me in Kentucky and raise a family. All of the money you left me is set aside for Jake. Your parents are great with him. They think that Henry is stepping in out of love for your family, and I guess I'm not half bad either. It has been an adjustment for all of us. But we are coming along.

  I couldn't walk down the aisle on Saturday and not share the events that led up to this point.

  I couldn't marry Henry without coming here and telling you that I love you. That he loves you. I wanted you to know your son is the spitting image of you and he refuses to sleep with the blankets on.

  Henry is a doting father. He wants to make sure your son, our son, has everything you would want him to have. He insists that when he is old enough that we tell him who you are and how we became a family. He advises we leave out all the steamy details and the part about you and him. I always laugh when he gets to that part.

  Then I cry. I don't think I am ever going to be over you.

  Of course, you were right. You always were when it came to me. I did need Henry, and he does need me, and we both needed you. We still need you.

  I can't help feel a little guilty when Henry and I get caught up in the routines of life and days go by and I don't notice you're not here. Then out of nowhere, all of a sudden I realize that you are not there and I have been living my life, and I feel guilty. Henry has moments like that too. He loves being Jake's father, but he misses you, and he feels guilty that he gets to watch your son grow up. We are putting the pieces together here. But it isn't easy.

  So look over us okay? Help us all to be brave.

  And we will see you again, my love, one sweet day.

  * * *

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