I Love You

by Shanade White

  She quickly pulled her laptop from its desk near the front door and searched up the basics of surrogacy. She scrolled through the testimonials of women who’ve been surrogate mothers and families who have been given the greatest gift of all because of it. She found that there were two kinds of surrogate procedures: traditional and gestational carrier. She wondered which kind Andre would prefer. If Milan had a biological link to the child she’d probably feel more attached but if he wanted to find someone else’s eggs and inseminate her that way she may feel less devoted to the process. She decided to give him a quick call.

  “Hey Andre, I have a tiny question.” Milan told him as soon as he answered the phone.

  In excitement he responded eagerly: “Yes, yes anything.”

  “I was just looking this up and I was wondering did you want a traditional surrogacy?” She asked.

  “Yes, I was thinking that would be easier for us and the less people we involve I think it would be less of a big deal.” He explained his reasoning. She nodded. He sounded very clear and thought-out about this. She’d never seen him approach anything this maturely. He usually winged everything.

  “So, you want my genes to be in the baby? Are you sure though? I mean I have the biggest nose ever. I’d hate for your child to have to suffer like I have.”

  “No you don’t, I think your nose is cute!” He admitted before chuckling and continuing, “I’m not worried about our genes mixing at all.”

  “Okay, just making sure you have thought out all of the kinks.” She smiled. A silence fell between the two of them. There was a big, fat elephant in the room.

  “So… Does that mean you’re thinking about it?” Andre asked sheepishly. Milan brought her knees further into her and rubbed her hand over her stomach. Right now, she would say yes. She loved Andre, and she completely understood why he wanted to pick her over any other girl who was after his money, his last name or his baby’s inheritance. It was flattering. Surrogacy was a process that needed two stable individuals who could provide care for one another in such a grueling developmental time. It sounded like something they could do. Their friendship had always been strong enough to weather any storm.

  “That means I’ve thought about it…” Milan trailed off twirling a curly strand of her hair around her finger.

  “What have your thoughts concluded about it?” He pressed. She continued to twirl her hair as she teased him with silence.

  Surprisingly, her engagement ring and wedding band caught a hold of her kinky locks. She winced in pain before noticing her finger was tangled up. She concentrated and slowly slipped it out of her hair’s grip before staring at the sparkling brilliance of the princess cut diamond ring on her fourth finger. She sighed.

  “I… I really want to do it for you. I love you, but if Derek finds out you’ll become a threat to him. I could try to explain the situation but I know he won’t get it. He sees things very black and white most of the time.”

  “I did say I wanted to involve the smallest amount of people necessary. He won’t be carrying the baby so… I don’t think he really has to know.”

  “But, he’ll be in the house. I can’t just avoid the questions when I randomly get an extremely round belly and larger tits.”

  “You’re just getting fat.” Andre said quickly giving her an excuse.

  “That’s not how fat distributes.” Milan rejected the idea. Andre groaned, irritated.

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” He declared.

  “But Andre…” Milan began to protest and he immediately interrupted her.

  “You’ll never be in danger, Milan. As long as you’re in my life and carrying my child I will make sure you are out of harms way. No one will be an exception to that. Don’t even worry about it.”

  She smiled, believing him. He was a powerful man and his promises had always been kept.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay what?” He asked. He needed confirmation that Milan was prepared to follow through with this process and was as excited as he was to be embarking on this new part of their life. She giggled.

  “Okay, I’ll be your baby momma.” She joked in a low voice. She needed to be sure Derek didn’t hear her.

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear you say.” He laughed. He couldn’t hold in his excitement, her agreement was beyond anything he could’ve ever expected. Milan was the most amazing person he knew.

  “Have you decided when we’re starting this whole thing?”

  “I told the doctor that if you said yes then we’d like the earliest appointment available and that’s tomorrow morning.”

  “What time? I have to be at work by 9.” She told him.

  “The appointment is at 7, it’s like a consultation so it wont be that long. We can get coffee and breakfast after.” He offered. Milan sighed, there was no way she could say no to coffee.

  “I’ll see you at 7 A.M.” She told him before hanging up and lying back across her couch. She took a deep breath and a smile crept onto her face as she exhaled. She couldn’t shake the feeling of excitement building up in her chest. She was going to be pregnant! ‘When that child is born it’ll be a genetic miracle’ she thought, as the blending of Andre and her occurred in her mind. They were both attractive. That baby was going to be blessed.

  She leaned against a throw pillow on the couch and tried to shut her eyes. Her crime-drama was over and it was time for bed, but her mind was still racing. She imagined her and Andre holding a child’s hands as they swung it back and forth, laughing and smiling like two proud and happy parents. She tossed and turned but it was useless. Sleep would obviously be eluding her tonight.

  *****

  Andre wiped his clammy palms against the fabric of his gray slacks. He waited patiently for Milan to arrive and tried his best to remain calm. This was the biggest day of his life. He was about to start the process of having a child. He looked around and made sure no lurking paparazzo was out to catch him. But, at this time of morning it was unlikely.

  “Hey daddy-to-be.” Milan greeted him as she made her way up the steps to the front door of the office building. She wore a large pair of sunglasses to cover the lack of makeup on her face.

  “Why are you wearing those?” He asked her, blocking her entrance with one arm extended over the double doors.

  “I didn’t have time to put on makeup this morning. It’s early, leave me alone.”

  “Please take your sunglasses off, Milan. This is a meeting that I don’t want to mess up. If you go in there with sunglasses in the wintertime the doctor will either think you’re crazy or hiding something.” He explained, holding her back with his other hand as she tried to push her way through.

  “Fine. But, the doctor will probably think I’m crazy with the way I look anyway.” She said before pulling the glasses off her face and exposing her bare skin. She was subconsciously surprised at how serious and maturely Andre took this meeting. She was impressed. A smile slowly crept across Andre’s face as he stared at her and studied every detail of her features.

  “You look beautiful without makeup. I don’t really get why you need it.” He told her before using his thumb to wipe away a fallen eyelash from her cheek. He turned around and opened the door before allowing her to respond. She began blushing and walked in behind him.

  “Did you get any sleep last night?” She asked as they caught an elevator to the fifth floor of the building where the clinic was located. He shook his head and let out a nervous chuckle.

  “I could barely get a blink of sleep. Did you?”

  “I forced myself to but it was definitely hard.” She admitted, holding back the reason why she was up. Her dreams of a family with Andre were wrong and inappropriate. The elevator doors slowly opened and they stared at the empty office lobby. They were the first patients to arrive for the day.

  “Good morning.” The receptionist greeted them as they stepped onto the carpeted floor. Andre smiled nervously
and walked over to sign his name on the clipboard. He handed the pen to Milan and watched carefully as she wrote her name in cursive. He smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder. Her generous decision to do this for him was the most remarkable thing anyone could do for him. He felt his heart pound in his ears as she turned to face him and smiled back.

  “Thank you.” He whispered and embraced her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and trailed her fingers down his back, sending physical shudders up and down his spine.

  “You’re welcome.” She said into his ear and inhaled his rich, crisp cologne scent. He smelled clean, something she hadn’t smelled in a while with an alcoholic Derek being the only man she had hugged this intimately.

  Andre buried his face in her curly hair and felt warmth transfer from her chest to his. She was the best hugger.

  “Let’s get this over with. I’d hate for my stomach to start growling of hunger in there.” Milan laughed and slowly peeled herself from him. He kept his hand on her lower back as the receptionist walked them into the doctor’s personal office. There was a silver plaque on the door that read: Dr. Felicia Gerard.

  “Andre Hausman is here.” The receptionist alerted Dr. Gerard and gestured for the two to sit down. They thanked her and took a seat on the couch in front of the doctor’s desk. Dr. Gerard was diligently typing on the computer for a minute longer before she turned to acknowledge Milan and Andre’s presence.

  “How are you two?” Dr. Gerard asked politely.

  “We’re pretty good.” Andre answered.

  “Nervous.” Milan corrected, looking at Andre. He smirked and held his hand out. She placed hers in his and gave him an encouraging squeeze.

  “That is very normal and actually expected.” She smiled at the two of them. They nodded and took deep breaths. They were trying to be strong for each other. “So, Milan, when I spoke to Andre we had a conversation about you. I understand you have never been pregnant before. Is that for any reason in particular?”

  “It was just never the right time for me.”

  “Have you ever been on any birth control or anything?” The doctor asked with a notepad of legal paper opened in front of her. She was taking notes of every word Milan said.

  “No. I’ve only used condoms.”

  “Have you ever had an abortion?”

  “No ma’am.” Milan conceded. Dr. Gerard smiled and nodded.

  “You’re like the poster child for safe sex right now.” She joked and turned around in her chair to enter information in the computer. Both Andre and Milan laughed.

  “I knew you’d be perfect for this.” Andre leaned into her ear and whispered. She giggled and blushed. It was crazy to imagine she would be pregnant soon, especially by her best friend, but it was something she agreed to. She had to uphold her end of the bargain for his sake and for the sake of their relationship. She didn’t regret her decision, but the uncertainty of the future made her worry.

  “So, we’ll just have to run some tests to make sure you’re fertile and healthy. Then, after the tests we can determine a few things about both of your medical backgrounds and how that may affect the baby’s genetic makeup. And once all of that has been figured out, we’ll get officially signed contracts with your lawyers and you’ll be on the start of your journey.”

  “Yay.” Milan said as a pang of excitement filled her insides. She was overcome with happiness as she visualized her pregnancy. She couldn’t help but smile as Andre squeezed their interlocked hands.

  “When can we do the tests?” Andre asked eagerly.

  “You can set up an appointment with my receptionist. She knows my schedule better than I do.” She told them. Milan and Andre stood up and walked out of the office. They made an appointment before exiting the building and going to a local quaint diner for breakfast.

  “That was fun, wasn’t it?” Milan said as the omelet she ordered arrived onto the table. Andre smiled and nodded in agreement.

  “It was. It’ll be more fun when the actual baby is here though.”

  “How will you ever be able to wait? You’re bursting with excitement already and the doctor hasn’t even checked if I’ll be able to conceive a kid.”

  “You’ll be able to have kids. Nothing is going to go wrong because you’re perfect.” Andre told her sincerely before taking a sip of his black coffee. He was so anxious he didn’t even have an appetite.

  “You really shouldn’t drink hard coffee on an empty stomach.” She told him as she stabbed a piece of her omelet with her fork. She opened her mouth and dangled it by her lips, teasing him.

  “That doesn’t make me want a piece.” He told her as he drank more of his coffee. She took the egg into her mouth and chewed it exaggeratedly, moaning pleasurably. Andre raised his eyebrows and watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she mimicked an orgasm from food right in front of him. He licked his lips and imagined being the reason she made those faces. But he quickly remembered she was his best friend and she was married. He quickly shook those ideas from his mind. She was doing him a big favor by being his surrogate and he wasn’t going to mess that up.

  “I think I just want to see you do that again.” He flirted with her playfully. She laughed and rolled her eyes. She didn’t think much of it, he was always being silly and flirting with her. It was a part of his nature and all around charm.

  “Here, just open your mouth and I’ll feed it to you. I’m really concerned that you’re not eating. I need your swimmers to be strong and potent. So we can knock it out in the first round.”

  “Did you just call my sperm swimmers?” He asked trying not to laugh. She nodded.

  “Come on, eat!” She demanded forcing the fork near his mouth. He sighed and gave in. He wrapped his lips around the silverware and took the omelet into his mouth. He chewed it and stared at her as she let a smile slowly creep onto her face. It was contagious and caused him to smile at her. She infatuated him. He had never really focused on her beauty, inside and out, until now.

  “I knew you’d like it.” She said taking another bite. He nodded as he swallowed it.

  “You definitely know me very well.”

  “At least I can say thirteen years with someone wasn’t a complete waste.” She smiled weakly. Andre pouted sympathetically and watched as her spirits shifted.

  “Hey, cheer up. Like they say, when life gives us lemons.”

  “What am I supposed to do with my lemons?”

  “Make some good old fashioned lemonade and drink it with your best friend.” Andre told her throwing his arms behind his head and leaning back in the booth. He smiled at her arrogantly.

  “I guess I’m just missing one thing.”

  “What is that?”

  “A best friend.” She joked kicking him under the table.

  *****

  Andre sat at his kitchen counter with ESPN blaring in the background. He found himself on a website where they sold baby products. He read through each item and it’s importance before deciding if it was something he’d need for his baby. It was thrilling to have something other than him to worry about and make decisions for. He was obsessed.

  Suddenly, his phone blared its call tone, startling him.

  “Hello?” He asked without looking at the caller ID.

  “What’s up bro? What are we doing tonight?” Justin hollered through the phone. It was Friday night and all the parties were happening downtown.

  “I don’t think I’m going out tonight, man. I just have a lot going on right now.”

  “Like what? Did the renovations on your private plane get pushed back again?” Justin asked.

  “No, my contractor has been working on that since last week.” He dismissed his friend’s assumption. The thing on his mind was far more important than the renovations on his private plane. Andre thought for a moment and realized he normally had nothing really serious going on.

  “Then what dude? I haven’t seen you in like forever. What have you been
up to?”

  “I told you, I have a lot going on. When were you so concerned in the pressing affairs of my life?” Andre retorted. He was getting irritated with Justin’s continual questioning because he knew it wasn’t truly concern: it was just an itch for the man who brought women to him. If he was being honest, Justin wasn’t on the same social ranking or attractive-ranking as Andre. Any woman that Andre turned down would be just as excited to be with Justin because he was someone who knew Andre personally, or so they thought.

  None of the people he partied with really knew him personally and Andre liked it that way. They were all so hungry to sell stories to the press that if Andre were to tell anyone about his surrogacy plan with Milan it would be printed on the front page of the New Yorker the next morning.

  “Alright, whatever man.” Justin finally gave up. As Andre hung up the phone he let out a sigh of relief. That was one of his first steps into manhood: turning down a wild night.

  Andre continued to scroll through the website when he saw a section for maternity wear. He checked the time and realized it was well past 7PM. ‘Milan should be home by now.’ He thought as he dialed her number into his phone. After 3 agonizing rings, she answered. She seemed to be out of breath.

  “Hello.” She panted harshly into the phone. Andre furrowed his eyebrows and focused his attention from the maternity clothes on his screen to his best friend, Milan.

  “Were you in the middle of something?”

  “Yeah, kind of.” She chuckled and let out a tiny moan before clearing her throat and rummaging around. Andre’s eyebrows raised, he clearly interrupted something very personal.

  “You and Derek…” He insinuated but trailed off. Although he wasn’t jealous, it was always weird for him to picture Milan and Derek having sex. He could never imagine it, let alone say it out loud.

  “Oh, of course not. I was doing some solo work. That boat with me and Derek sailed like 6 months ago.” She laughed as if it was the funniest joke she’d ever heard. Andre curved his lips into a frown and felt bad for her. A woman as beautiful, from head to toe, as she was shouldn’t have to pleasure herself. ‘Any man would be lucky to have Milan’ Andre considered, but debated saying it out loud.