rogue shifter 05 - caught between

by Gayle Parness

  "Greaaaat." I sighed deeply. "I feel kind of inadequate. Is he really going to listen when I tell him to do his homework or clean his room? He might just laugh and snap his fingers Mary-Poppins-style. How do I teach him to work for what he wants? Or to respect me and Garrett when he discovers he's more powerful than we are?"

  "Jacqueline." Liam scolded me. "Charlie will show you respect or he will answer to us." The four fae in the room grinned at each other.

  Aedus laughed. "I remember thousands of hours spent cleaning stables, chopping dead wood and sharpening weapons and tools for the entire Sidhe, all under our father's watchful eye."

  "And the holes he made us dig. We could have made it to India."

  Aedus nodded, laughing harder. "And those battle training sessions. Liam and I would barely make it into bed. Then he'd get us up at dawn."

  "Aren't you over a hundred years older than Liam? Why were you treated like a teenager when you were already an adult?"

  "Father still treats us like badly behaved children at times. Perhaps now that I have a child of my own, that will change, but according to him, we're constantly in need of his wisdom and guidance."

  Liam shrugged. "He can be difficult, as all parents seem to their children, but he protects us still. My life at court would have been impossible. The queen's behavior that you witnessed was not unusual for her."

  "In recent days you've been making life difficult." Aedus gave him a playful shove which Liam took good naturedly. "With you gone, Father is hovering over me like a dark cloud full of suggestions instead of rain drops."

  Kellie added, shaking her head, "Your mothers have raised their sons well and would be the first to tell you that the most important lesson you must teach Charlie is to respect all females. He must listen to her opinions, appreciate her skills, allow her the freedom to fight beside him on the field or to follow more gentle endeavors. Whichever is her choice."

  Giggling, I asked, "I suppose Brina and Kaera have suitors who understand those rules?"

  Philladre laughed. "There have been many, but the sisters are extremely particular. The male has to be good enough to beat both of them on the practice field, and few are that skilled."

  Aedus winked at his mate. She responded with a narrowed glance. Apparently, Aedus had met the Keara and Brina's requirements at some point in their past. To soothe her ruffled feathers, Aedus snaked an arm around his mate's growing waist and pulled her closer. Her baby bump presented no problem when he leaned in for a quick kiss. Now that they were officially bound together as mates, the fae sisters would have to look elsewhere for warriors to bed.

  I knew that Liam had helped with the delivery, so I smiled at him and took his hand. "Thanks for helping me out last night and this morning."

  "Once he'd decided to make his entrance, Charlie didn't want to wait around. It was difficult, but you were strong, as you are in most things. As your healer, I suggest that you rest now, while your son is sleeping. When he wakes you'll be busy again." He ushered everyone but Garrett out, giving me a parting wink.

  When they'd left, Sinlae made herself comfortable on the edge of the bassinette, so I sent Garrett off to feed from one of his usual volunteers and I took a nap as per my doctor's orders.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  "Jacqueline." His voice slithered across my body making me shudder and rub my eyes, still hazy from sleep.

  "Jacqueline, you did well. Our son is perfect." He was holding Charlie and smiling. I tried to scream, but he lifted his hand and I stopped breathing.

  "You will speak in a whisper. You will not try to contact your mate or anyone else. Nod if you agree."

  My hands were clutched around my throat as I struggled to take in breath, but no air entered my lungs no matter how hard I tried to pull it into my body. I nodded and he released his hold, allowing me to gulp in air.

  "I will take him if you attack me. Nod if you understand." I nodded still trying to settle my breathing, the adrenaline making my heart pound like a frightened rabbit's.

  Shit! Where were Garrett and Liam? My eyes widened in shock when I saw Sinlae's tiny body frozen in the air above Kennet, miniature sword drawn, her expression wild with fury.

  He explained, "We are outside time at the moment. My Queen has given me a few minutes to speak with you. All will return to normal when I leave." He placed Charlie gently back into the bassinette. Thankfully, he didn't wake, but I couldn't stop myself from trembling.

  "Shh. I will not harm you or our son. Breathe deeply. Center yourself." I did what he said, because without a clear head, I couldn't protect Charlie. After a few moments he spoke again, not moving any closer.

  "My queen has given me permission to see my son twice a year until he is considered an adult at fifteen. At that time, Charles will choose for himself whether or not he wishes to see me.

  "No..."

  "You will permit me to finish, then you may speak." Another order from the last person in the world I wanted to listen to. I clenched my fists, praying I'd have a chance to scratch out his eyes.

  "Each time I visit, I will spend one full day alone with him, from dawn until sunset. I prefer not to bring him to court, because the half-fae are treated with cruelty, especially by the queen. Caelen made the decision to leave and start his own Sidhe because of how Liam was treated. Our son will suffer among them, and whether you believe me or not, I do not wish for him to suffer. Here he will be raised by a loving mother and I am certain that Caelen will ensure that he is always kept safe."

  I shook my head in defiance but he continued to speak in a matter of fact tone. "If you don't agree to my visits, then I will take him back with me today, and he will suffer because of your decision."

  How could I agree to this? "No." I shook my head again and he nodded, then bent over the bassinette. "Wait, please. Why?" I was on the verge of hysterics, my post baby hormones putting me on the edge.

  He straightened, looking slightly bewildered and unsure of how to answer me. "I have waited over three thousand mortal years for a child of my own, and you have given me a son. He is perfect in every way. I cannot begin to describe what this means to me."

  "You want the prestige..."

  "Once, perhaps, but not now. Now I want to see him grow up, become an adult. A male well respected."

  "You're telling me that you love him?" I retorted angrily.

  "Not love. Not yet, But I am dazed by the perfection of our tiny fae male." He smiled as he looked back at the bassinette.

  I wiped away the tears of rage that were running down my cheeks. "He's shifter and demon too."

  He looked at me without anger. "He is. It makes him more vulnerable at court, but perhaps the mix is a strong one. You are a perfect example of how mixed blood can produce brilliance."

  This wasn't the same arrogant bastard who'd told me that only pure blood fae should be allowed to walk the earth or breathe the air. Something had changed in him, not that I gave a damn.

  "You will allow me two days every mortal year, or I will take him now to the Faerie Court. You choose."

  I wiped away another angry tear. "You've given me no choice, you piece of shit!"

  "I will excuse your outburst. But you must choose now."

  "I won't let him go to you alone."

  "I'll have none of Caelen's guards nor your team or your mate."

  Fuck, fuck, fuck. "I'll come."

  "Just you and Charles?" A glint of excitement passed over his irises.

  I tried to think of someone else I could bring who might be able to help if there was trouble. "And Sinlae."

  "This Demi-fey?" He glanced at her tiny body still frozen in the air and raised his eyebrows, probably puzzled as to why I'd choose her.

  "Yes, and Samson."

  "Your dog hunted me," he hissed.

  "Yes."

  "Neither you nor the pixie will speak of this to anyone."

  "I have to tell Garrett."

  "No one."

  "I'll tell Garrett but no one else.
I'll make him swear not to tell."

  There was only silence for four long heartbeats. "He will not allow you to come."

  "He will. But you have to swear to a few things too. You'll keep us safe while we're with you. You'll never take Charlie from me. You'll do everything in your power to keep others from taking him away from me. You won't harm any of my family, friends or any of the people who work with me while we're on these outings."

  He nodded. "I agree. And it will only be twice a year. That is all that my queen will permit. I will send you a message a week after the summer and winter solstice as to where we shall meet."

  From a sheath at his belt he removed a wicked looking blade. "This will be a blood agreement between us, Jacqueline. If you renege, or if Garrett or Sinlae renege, you will lose any right to raise your son." He cut our palms and we pressed them together, allowing our blood to mix. We went over the agreement one more time and then he healed my palm with a wave of his hand.

  When he'd finished, I was still crying, the thought of spending time with Kennet, even two days a year, terrified and disgusted me.

  "Jacqueline." He whispered, his voice making me look up into his deep purple eyes, eyes that I'd prayed never to see again. "I wanted your love, but instead I hurt you. I will not ask for your forgiveness because you extracted a vicious revenge when you gave me to Isaiah. We have both suffered gravely. The slate is wiped clean between us and now, with the birth of our son, we share a common bond.”

  I hissed out, "There is no bond between us. Here you are, pretending you care, but all you're really doing is blackmailing me. Forcing me to do what you want me to do. I despise you and I'll never trust you."

  "Trust must be earned." He kissed Charlie's forehead, then turned to me, nodded with his hand on his heart and disappeared.

  Sinlae flew onto my shoulder. "There was a disruption of the energy. Are you alright? Was someone here? It stinks of Kennet."

  "Find Garrett." I covered my shoulders with the blanket and peered at my still sleeping son, relieved to find that his birth father's visit hadn't affected him.

  Garrett appeared by my bed with Sinlae on his shoulder. "What's wrong my love? I've only been gone twenty minutes."

  "Kennet was here." I told them both about our conversation and what I'd sworn to.

  Garrett sat on the edge of the bed, leaned over and covered his face with his hands. I gave him his moment and looked at Sinlae.

  "My lady, I will tell no one and I will ensure that you and Charles are kept safe while you are in the presence of Lord Snakeskin. (Her pet name for Kennet.) She looked at Garrett and scowled. "You did well, Lady. You could have done nothing differently, no matter what others may say."

  Garrett sighed and gave the pixie a look which had her huffing and flying back to the edge of the bassinette. He took off his shoes and then crawled up onto the bed next to me, cradling me in his arms. His kiss was short but still exactly what I needed.

  He whispered, his face only inches away as he stroked my arms. "Thank you for telling me, my love. I hate everything about it, but you forced him to swear a blood oath not to harm you or Charlie. Sinlae is correct. You had no choice and you took every precaution you could." He pulled me down so my head rested on his chest. "Sleep my love. Charlie will need you again soon." I melted into him and let go of my fear, taking in his delicious scent with every breath, finding a temporary peace within his strong and comforting arms.

  The next afternoon, the elders and our closest circle of fae friends attended Charlie's naming ceremony. What looked like a hundred demi-fae were also in attendance, Sinlae hovering nearby the entire time. At times she'd perch on my shoulder, other times on the edge of the hand-carved cradle they'd provided. She was treated with deference by the other pixies and I even caught a few of them bowing to her. She treated all of them like a tolerant noblewoman would a servant. I caught a few of her previously cruel family members scowling at her. Payback can be a bitch.

  Garrett stood by my side, holding my hand, stroking my arm or squeezing my shoulder a little too hard. He was nervous, and I could totally relate. This becoming a parent thing was the scariest adventure of my entire life. What if I blew it totally? What if I dropped him or traumatized him psychologically or turned away for a second while he stuck a fork in an outlet? What if he thought I was the world's worst mom? I mean, where was the freakin' owner's manual?

  I gave Garrett's hand a hard squeeze. "Are we up for this, Daddy?"

  "We'll figure it out one day at a time, my love. Together." He kissed my cheek just as the ceremony began.

  After the blood ritual was performed, Charlie's True Name was read out loud by Lord Caelen. A particular musical cadence stuck in my head giving me confidence that I could remember it again if hard pressed. Many of the fae present told me afterward that his fae name had some kind of significance, having been labeled by Lady Jorenn, an elder, as a name of great power.

  After the naming, Liam was announced to be Charlie's fae sponsor. Garrett grasped Liam's forearm, the two friends grinning at each other. I was allowed to bless the bond with a quick kiss on Liam's cheek as he cradled my son in his arms. I thought about all the tough times Liam had seen me through and knew beyond a doubt that he would be there for my son the way he'd been there for me. I glanced at Kellaine, hoping now more than ever that Sinc would be able to find a child for them to raise.

  After the fae name and sponsor was announced, Garrett and I led a short naming ceremony where Charlie was given the names we had chosen for him.

  Garrett spoke. "These names hold great significance for us and for our family and friends. We're proud to stand before you all to announce that we have named our son Charles Liam William Cuvier." Liam was beaming with pride and I noticed Lord Caelen and Aedus nodding in his direction.

  We'd decided to add William's name because of his bravery in the past, enduring Eleanor's torture, but also because of the work he'd done as a member of Garrett's nest and our team of Rogues. I'd grown very fond of him over the brief time I'd known him and because he'd been my sister Bridgett's mate, he was family. He deserved this small tribute.

  In the manner of most supernatural ceremonies, Garrett, Liam and I exchanged a tiny amount of blood, not drawing any from Charlie since he'd been poked enough during the fae naming ceremony. If William or Garrett's father had been alive, their blood would have been added to the mix. It was all accomplished smoothly and efficiently, with very little pain or discomfort and lots of delicious fae magic. If only I could ensure that Charlie's life would be so easy.

  I stayed one last night in Faerie, feeling exhausted from the party that followed the ceremony. Physically, I was back to normal, all my pain disappearing with the help of fae magic and my own healing abilities. Emotionally, however, I was ragged. In bed, Garrett held me tightly and whispered his love as I wept quiet tears, mourning my sister, her mate and the end of a more secure and simple time. As crazy as our life together had been up until now, it was about to get much crazier.

  When I was done with my grieving, I turned in his arms and kissed him passionately, surprising him with my desire. Soon I would pick up my metaphorical sword and become the warrior who would fiercely protect her son and her mate. But tonight I chose to lose myself in passion as Garrett comforted me with his body and his love. I offered him my blood, my magic and my devotion and we washed away thoughts of the impending war.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  We were back in our lovely home in Crescent City. Charlie had settled in like a real champ, sleeping in the nursery in his bassinette, since he was much too small for a crib. Sash, Rick and Flynn made a huge fuss over him, and I caught Sash making some sketches when he didn't know I was looking.

  Kyle asked, after looking the baby over, "How will you keep him from beaming back and forth to Faerie?"

  "His powers don't come on until puberty, apparently."

  "Whoa. Talk about bad timing. Puberty was tough enough without being able to read minds and glow in the
dark."

  "Kyle's still going through his adolescence." Ethan joked.

  Kyle glanced at Peter. "Aren't you going to defend me? Tell everyone how mature I am?"

  "Well, I could, but then Jackie would see the change in my aura and I'd be busted for lying."

  "I'm gonna remember your disloyalty the next time you expect me to empty the dishwasher."

  "I think you just proved Ethan's point for him."

  Ethan had wanted to hold the baby, so I passed Charlie over. My sweet son curled his tiny fingers around Ethan's pinkie and that was it. Ethan melted, making silly baby noises and then, when I made fun of him, telling my son all about how big a pain in the neck I was on Solo Island where we first met.

  "Your mom threw stuff at me, made me carry her down a tree and kept kicking dirt in my face every time we went for a run. Don't you let her tell you she was a perfect teenager, 'cause she wasn't."

  Charlie saved Ethan from getting a stuffed animal in the face.

  Samson had decided that a fae guard and a pixie guard were not enough and had tried to take up residence in the nursery. Liam had a stern talk with him so my dog wisely gave in, settling down again in his usual spots, sprawled by the kitchen door when I was up, and on the floor in our bedroom when I slept.

  We had a memorial ceremony for William, our whole team attending, including Sinc, who'd come down with Aaron. Of course Liam was there, but so were Brina, Kaera, Angel, and Fred, the current pack leader of Bridgett's former pack. The biggest surprise was when Francois and Yvette showed up, coming all the way from Paris. Yvette had been a member of Eleanor's nest and had known Will from when he was first turned, and Francois was Eleanor's maker, Garret and William's grandsire.

  We'd decided to plant an apple tree in the garden of the Vamp Villa, since Will enjoyed eating apple slices, even though vamps didn't need to eat regular food. He said it was his comfort food, so we always made sure there were apples available for him to munch on.

  Everyone who wished to, spoke briefly about William.

  "He was cool. He was the only guy who ever beat me at Mario Kart..."