rogue shifter 05 - caught between

by Gayle Parness

  "William was starved and tortured constantly by Eleanor, and yet he had the strength to survive and hold onto his integrity and his compassion for others. I will miss him..."

  "He forgave me, for what she made me do to him...."

  "Will loved my sister and kept her grounded. I'd never seen her so happy. I'll miss his smile and his easy-going nature..."

  "His tech skills were amazing, even though he'd been off the grid for so long. The team will miss him, and so will I..."

  "He proved himself to be a valuable asset to our band of Rogues and also a good friend. We'll feel his loss every day..."

  When we'd finished, everyone came inside for a meal and a few drinks. It had been tough for all of us to say goodbye, but at the same time it felt right to do it like this. If Will's spirit could see us, he'd have been grinning.

  Francois took my hand and brought it to his lips. "You look magnificent as always, Jacqueline." Francois had that yummy French accent that made you want to melt.

  "It's been a crazy couple of months."

  "And young Charles is well?"

  "Yes. He's sleeping, but I'll bring him out when he wakes so you can fuss over him."

  "A Frenchman does not fuss, Madame, but I would like to hold him, if that would be allowed."

  I smiled and gave him a hug. "You can hold him anytime you want, Grandpa."

  "Ugh. Not Grandpa, please. And especially not Great-grandpa. Perhaps he can just call me Francois."

  Of course when Charlie was brought out, Francois managed to make a fuss anyway. Vampires were forced to give up any hope of having children when they were turned, but they'd all started out as human. I didn't know if Francois had ever had kids of his own, but when I watched him holding Charlie and whispering sweet little words to him in French, I guessed that he must have had some experience with kids.

  Garrett got a huge kick out of seeing them together.

  Leaving Charlie to Garrett and Francois, I sat down on the couch near Sinc, Kyle, Peter and Ethan.

  "He's beautiful. He'll have the girls chasing him by the time he's ten." Sinc squeezed my hand.

  "And the boys." Kyle winked at me and Peter whacked him in the head. "Hey, just sayin'."

  I laughed. "I just want to get through the next few weeks. I'm exhausted."

  "Doesn't Garrett change diapers?" Ethan teased.

  "Sure he does, and gives him a bottle once in a while, too. But even when I'm not on call, I still am. I can't shut it down. It's like I've got a micro-sized baby monitor in my brain. Like right now, I know that he's getting fussy and he wants to eat. In a few seconds, Sinlae will be in here to get me."

  Kyle waved a hand and looked at his watch. "I'll take thirty seconds for fifty bucks."

  "Twenty-five seconds." Ethan piped in.

  "You idiots." Sinc giggled and punched Ethan in the shoulder.

  "Hey, it sounded like a good bet."

  Sinlae showed up a few seconds later and we exploded in laughter.

  "See, see. I coulda won $50.00." Ethan gave Sinc a gentle nudge.

  "You want to come with me?" I asked Sinc.

  "Sure."

  After I collected Charlie, we closed the nursery door behind us. I let Sinc sit in the rocking chair while I sat on the window seat and fed my son. "So tell me, how are you feeling?"

  "I've been trying something. Aaron, Gabe and Katrina are helping me."

  "Katrina?"

  "Yeah. Her witchy skills are coming in handy."

  "What have they been helping you with?"

  "I'll show you, but don't tell anyone else, okay?"

  "Sure."

  She was wearing calf-high boots, but I figured she had the left one stuffed with something since she came in using crutches and hadn't put any weight on it. But my mouth dropped open when she showed me what was left of her foot. What was left of her foot? Her foot had been amputated just above the ankle!

  "How the...?"

  "I have to shift four to six times a day. Gabe and Aaron help me with that part of it. I'm so exhausted after the last shift that sometimes I just collapse, so they help me get back to my bed. I do it two days in a row and then skip two days, because it's just too much. But look at it...it's really growing back." She beamed at me.

  "It's a miracle." I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She'd grown a new ankle and part of a heel. "Who had the idea?"

  "Katrina. She said that any shifter or werewolf should be able to grow back fingers, hands, feet, even legs, because the act of shifting enables us to take in an enormous magical boost. She gives me a disgusting potion to drink on the mornings that I shift which supposedly helps my cells absorb the greatest amount of energy. I won't lie, the whole process is awful, and I've been close to just giving up half a dozen times. Gabe's been amazingly supportive."

  "You're incredible. I can't imagine going through that."

  She laughed at me. "Are you on drugs? What you've gone through was so much worse."

  "My crazy stuff was sudden and over fast. You've committed yourself to months of hard and painful work."

  "Oh yeah, and raising a child is sudden and over fast, right?"

  "Charlie isn't work—and the pain part was sudden and over fast." We both giggled and then Sinc got up, managing to hop over and plunk down on the window seat next to me. She stared at my tiny son, so perfect and so fragile.

  "He looks like you."

  "That's him." I waved my hand so she could see the mural.

  "Awesome. A man on a horse is so hot."

  "Hey, that's my son. Tell Gabe to buy a horse. Then you can ogle him."

  "Oh I almost forgot. I have something for you." She handed me a large manila envelope. "Open it after everyone's gone." I put it aside and forgot about it until the next day.

  Two days later, Philladre gave birth to her lovely little Jacqueline, who everyone decided to call Linn for short so there wasn't any confusion between the two of us. She had Aedus' dark hair and Philladre's lovely mouth, her lavender eyes standing out like jewels on her beautiful face. She was going to be a knock-out just like her parents. Lord Caelen, Lady Silvus and Philladre's parents looked so proud. I laughed to see the way everyone wanted to hold her and touch her. Linn's birth was indeed a magical moment in Faerie, one that had nothing to do with the ley lines.

  As I watched the naming ceremony, I thought about Bridgett. I hadn't called Simon to tell him what happened and I was sad that he'd never have a chance to meet her. I knew he'd probably feel the same way when he heard.

  I missed her a lot. That would never change, no matter what choice she'd made. I mourned her loss as much as I mourned Will's. Two deaths. Two births. The fae would say it was an example of the Balance at work. I didn't feel there was anything balanced about Will's murder or Bridgett being used as a pawn between incredibly powerful and ruthless supernaturals.

  When the ceremony was over, I pulled Kellie aside and handed her the envelope.

  "These are pictures of a six year old child in foster care in Portland, Oregon. The child's eyes are deep blue, but they have a lavender tinge. If you look closely at the pictures you can see it. They've labeled the child mentally handicapped, but Rob's gone to look at him. He thinks he's ill because he doesn't have access to your magic. Of course, he's not a doctor. Could you and Liam go and take a look? You'll have to sneak in, and you should make yourselves look human, but that shouldn't be a problem for you.

  Her hands were shaking as she slid the photographs out of the envelope. Liam came over to see what was wrong, so I explained.

  "This is definitely a child with fae blood. Maybe not half fae, but some."

  "Will living in Faerie make him sick?" I asked.

  "As long as he has some of our blood, he'll flourish." Liam hadn't spoken yet so she turned to him and whispered. "I want this. It doesn't mean anything permanent has to happen between us, but I want a child, this child if possible. Will you come with me to see him?"

  He spoke to her mentally and I watched her worr
ied look disappear behind her wide smile. When he leaned in and kissed her, and I turned away and walked back to Garrett.

  "It looks like there may be another new resident in Cascade soon."

  "You're a hopeless romantic, my love."

  "Don't complain." I leaned up for a kiss of my own.

  That night, I dreamt.

  Charlie was grown. He was tall and lean like Kennet, but his jaw was more rounded and his long hair was golden blonde like mine and not the platinum color of his birth father. His straight nose and full lips were evidence of my DNA, although his high forehead and sharp cheekbones were not. His dark lavender eyes glittered with golden flecks as, sword drawn, he faced Isaiah alone.

  Isaiah looked nothing like the sometimes pleasant young man who'd taught me to travel the lines and speak to shades, nor the handsome hunk who'd saved Maya. He was in his warrior form, a foot taller than my son, a foot broader and probably 150 lbs heavier. Isaiah also held a sword, darker and weightier, but still deathly sharp.

  I saw myself in the distance standing off to the side, out of danger but still very much involved. I had an anxious expression, understandable under these circumstances. Charlie was alone facing a terrifying creature, much larger and more powerful than he was. Where was Garrett and his nest or any of our fae allies? Why wasn't I fighting by his side?

  When they raised their swords I tried to wake myself up, terrified that I'd see my son die in front of me, but I remained asleep as the scene played out. Their swords clashed together over and over, the speed of their movements and the sheen of their magic becoming a colorful blur, perhaps beautiful under different conditions.

  Isaiah drove Charlie backwards for a dozen yards, then Charlie shifted with surprising agility, gaining a slight advantage and forcing Isaiah in reverse. Magical energy swirled around the two of them, encasing each one in a bright bubble that blazed and charged their weapons with magical energy as the instruments passed through each one. As they fought, Isaiah shouted at my son in a guttural language which Charlie seemed to understand, sometimes answering in what sounded like Fae.

  I grew more and more confused as I watched. Something was odd about this fight, and then it hit me. This was not a battle at all. Isaiah was training Charlie. But how had this happened? I looked once more at my dream-self standing by the enormous tree and suddenly everything was clear.

  I woke up because Charlie was fussing loudly next door in the nursery.

  "He needs his lady mother." Sinlae fluttered nearby.

  "I think you're right. More than you know." I walked across the hall and picked him up, holding him against me to comfort us both. Maybe he'd sensed how the dream had affected me. I sung to him soothingly and he quieted, then I laid him in my lap and peeled away the blanket, turning him so I could see behind his tiny ear.

  The perfect little ellipse-shaped birthmark stood out against his very pale skin. I flipped him over again and we stared at each other once more, me with overwhelming love and him with what I liked to perceive as intelligent curiosity.

  Sinlae must have noticed my determined expression, because she spoke to me. "You will do what is right for your family. A mother should trust her instincts, because most often the Balance is served in this way."

  "Will this little guy understand? Will Garrett?" I had no idea what the specifics would be, but I knew that I'd have to spend some time away from them.

  "You love your two males above all others. They will understand."

  I brushed my hand over Charlie's smooth cheek and he reached up with his tiny hand, grabbing my pinkie and holding on tightly, comforting me in his sweet way. "The war is imminent? There's no hope?"

  "I have seen war between your grandmother and the Queen of Faerie and all races are brought into the fighting, but change is always possible."

  "Thank you, Sinlae. Please stay with him when I finish feeding him and tell the others to keep away while I work."

  "Of course."

  She left to give me some privacy. I changed Charlie's diaper and nursed him back to sleep in the beautiful rocking chair that Aaron had made for him with his own hands. My son had already gained the weight he'd missed by arriving early, and more besides, his body longer as well. His hair was growing in, light blonde and silky soft and his tiny mouth turned into a sweet little pout that always made me smile. I wondered if he'd still be pouting when he hit his terrible teens. I could barely believe that I was able to cope with an infant. How would I ever handle a young teenaged warrior?

  After laying my sweet son gently in his crib, I crept quietly into our bedroom where Garrett slept his frozen, dreamless sleep. Kissing his cheeks and his soft cool lips, I worried again about how he would react when he woke up this afternoon and I told him what I'd done. It wouldn't be pretty, but I'd made him angry before and somehow we'd gotten through it. By the time he found out, it would all be done and unchangeable, so I hoped his practical nature would win out over his more passionate side.

  Sinlae reported that her males were out of the way, and that Aislin was now sleeping, with the help of a little demi-fey magic. I hoped that Liam wouldn't be too angry with her.

  In the kitchen I made a phone call, apologizing over and over for the early hour. I wrote down his instructions and made him promise not to call Garrett. Knowing my mate, as soon as he found out about what I'd done, Angel would be getting an irate call of his own.

  Then I summoned Marie. I told her what I was planning and what I needed her to do. She hesitated only a moment and then agreed, even though what I'd asked would put her in a certain amount of danger.

  I gathered supplies from drawers and cupboards then left through the sliding glass doors, stopping in the grassy field behind our house. There I placed the candles and laid out a circle using a mixture of salt, marigold pollen and arrowroot. I cut my palm and then added fifteen drops of my blood as I walked the circle, careful not to tread directly on it. Taking a very deep breath, I trembled slightly, thinking about the explosive rage I'd probably have to face because of my actions. This was another one of those no-going-back-moments, but I was determined, and like Sinlae, I had Seen.

  The sky was lightening as dawn approached, and I sensed the metallic odor of a coming storm, the wind picking up and urging me to hurry through the last part. I began to chant the ritual words, then as I neared the end, I evoked the circle with a burst of my magic, closing it with me safely on the outside. I touched my own birthmark and said the name three times, summoning my uncle, Isaiah, the demon I'd promised at least twice never to summon again.

  I was so screwed.

  ******************************************************************************************

  Other Books by Gayle Parness at Amazon.com

  Next in the Rogues Shifter Series: Torn Apart Book 6 Available now

  Bridgett is raising an army, Isaiah is angry, Lord Kennet is back and five year old Charlie is already showing signs of becoming the most powerful supernatural on the planet. Could life get any crazier for Jackie and Garrett? Read chapter one here

  I do recommend that you read the books in order, although they can stand on their own. If you haven't read the rest of the series, then here's the reading order.

  Rebirth: Book One - Sixteen year old Jackie discovers that she's not human, but instead part of a large supernatural community. She trains with a group of young shapeshifters who become her close friends, and also meets Garrett, the magically powerful vampire who teaches her to use her unique powers and then manages to steal her heart. Together they face off against his destructive maker, the 500 year old vampire, Eleanor Howard.

  Stalked: Book Two - Jackie and Garrett travel to Faerie to celebrate the Midsummer Solstice Ceremony with their new fae allies, only to become the hunted enemies of a powerful fae lord who wants to claim Jackie as his own. At the same time, Garrett's team of rogues go undercover to find a female fae warrior who's disappeared without a trace. What and who they find instead, turns everyone's life upside down, f
orcing Jackie to have to choose between family and friendship.

  Twisted: Book Three - Now a prisoner of a fae Lord, Jackie is faced with the impossible task of planning her escape, only to find help from an unlikely source. Meanwhile, Garrett is devastated by her kidnapping, but must force himself to keep his head clear and organize the search in the field and at home. He's joined by his fae allies who prove themselves to be more than just magical warriors. Jackie's sister, Bridgett, is trying her best to fit in back at the house, but she feels tremendous guilt over Jackie's kidnapping. She's surprised by her growing attraction to William, a young vampire in Garrett's nest who also seems smitten by the same arrow. All three stories merge as Bridgett's connection to her twin sister strengthens and the aftermath of the kidnapping takes on a life of its own.

  Blown Away: Book Four

  Jackie and Garrett and their team take on the difficult case of finding three teen boys who've gone missing from the werewolf pack where Sinc was raised. Through their investigation, they discover that more is at stake here than simply getting the boys back home, finding themselves entangled in a dangerous power struggle, which culminates in a vicious attack.

  At the same time, Jackie and Garrett are rocked by a discovery that may destroy their relationship as well as their status as allies of the fae.

  !

  Visit me at http://www.gayleparness.com

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GayleParnessAuthor

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/gayleparness

  Reviews are welcome. I'd love to hear your feedback!

  Book cover design by Tatiana Villa http://tat-94.wix.com/viladesign

  Torn Apart Book 6 Chapter One

  For the third morning in a row, the loud chattering of two squirrels in the middle of a drawn out territorial dispute wrenched me out of a pleasant dream. The little vermin, programmed by their DNA to rise along with the sun, had no neighborly regard for my going to sleep less than four hours ago. I mean they were cute and all, but c'mon, Rocky, go duke it out somewhere else for a change.