Shattered Lies

by Theresa Sederholt

  “Who’s to say that he won’t be running his business from a jail cell? We have to talk Rose out of her plan to confront him. I’m sure if we explain to her that he can still be a danger to Raven, it would stop her.”

  “Max, I will negotiate with her. Don’t laugh at me; I’m getting better at this every day. Do you think the papers Mum gave you will help in any way?”

  “At a quick glance, the investigators papers seem pretty basic. It’s the picture that I’m interested in. I’m not sure what it is about the picture, but I have to tell you, something seems almost familiar about it. I’m not sure, but I’m going to run it through an age progression program to see what comes up.” He gathers up his stuff and heads out, leaving me to figure out how to stop Rose.

  I ENJOY SPENDING TIME in the barn with Jackie. She is so comfortable to be around. She never pressures me; she just lets me be. Today, however, I can tell something is bothering her. She seems distant and troubled, quieter than usual. I take the brush from her hand and put my arm around her. “You look like you could use a hug. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  Her bottom lip begins to tremble and she starts to cry. “Shh, I’ve got you, Jackie; come sit down and tell me what’s wrong. Nothing is so bad that it can’t be fixed.” We head over to a bale of hay and sit for a bit. I hold her in my arms, keeping my silence, I let her cry.

  “Rose, I love him with all of my heart. But, I’m afraid.” I’m glad that she feels comfortable talking to me. I try to be like a mom to her, knowing that she must miss her family.

  “Tell me what you are afraid of? You know I would never judge you.” I gently rub her back, offering her some comfort.

  “Max wants a lot of children and I’m scared.”

  “Look at me,” I demand softly and lean back as she raises her head. “It is natural to be scared of the unknown. I was scared when I was pregnant with Raven, and I’m a doctor.” I wipe away her tears. “You can read all the books in the world, but until you actually do it, you won’t know what to expect. That can be very scary. Gather strength from everyone around you. We are your family and we would never let anything happen to you. I promise you, every step of the way, I will be here for you, even if it’s just to hold your hand. What else is bothering you, sweetie?”

  “I was a twin. My sister, Madeline, didn’t make it past a few hours. I was born first and apparently, I was the strongest. My mom is Japanese, Rose, and very small. The doctors were afraid she wouldn’t make it to term. She went early and my sister just couldn’t survive.”

  “Do you blame yourself for being strong? You know, logically, that’s not true.” She’s very quiet, twisting her fingers in her lap. “Jackie, why haven’t you told Maxwell?” She is biting her bottom lip, seemingly hesitant.

  “What if something like that happens to me? Max will never survive and I don’t think I would either.”

  I take her hands in mine. “Jackie, after I had Raven, I became pregnant again.” Her eyes grow wide. “That’s right. I was pregnant and I lost the baby at twenty-six weeks. It was very hard on Antonio, but even harder on me. I had to go through delivery and then bury my baby. We grieved, but we knew we did nothing wrong.” I lift her hands up and place them on my heart. “Do you feel my heart beating? It still goes on, no matter what. The point is, you were not responsible for Madeline. Whatever happens, you will deal with it, and so will Maxwell. You can’t try to stop every bad thing from ever happening; it’s life. Be the best you can be and everything else will fall into place. You do, however, need to talk to Maxwell. He has the right to know your fears. You say you love him, well then trust him with your heart.” I hold her in my arms and comfort her as her mother would. In the distance, I see Maxwell. “Jackie, Maxwell is on his way over here, and I think it’s time you tell him everything.”

  “Okay,” she barely whispers.

  I wipe away her tears, kiss her forehead. Maxwell crouches down in front of Jackie. “Hey, babe, what’s the matter?”

  “I’ll leave you two to talk.” I’m not sure either one of them heard me, and that’s okay. I start heading back to the main house to talk to Jax.

  “OKAY, JACKIE, I’M NOT going anywhere, and neither are you, until you tell me everything. If I have to, I will lock you in the house and throw away the key!” I have to try and calm down. I can’t scare her.

  “Max, I’m cold; let’s go inside and talk.” Before she can say anything more, I put my arms around her and we head toward the house. I don’t know why she is so upset, but I could never leave her like this. We get inside and she curls up on the couch, I cover her with a blanket. I light the fireplace and then make her a cup of tea. The ritual of making the tea has a calming affect. I snuggle up to her, pulling her into my arms. “Now, talk to me. Surely you know that you can tell me anything; I would never judge you.”

  She is chewing on her bottom lip and I gently pull it out from her teeth. “I’m afraid to have a baby.” She says it so softly, but I hear every word.

  “Is that what all this is about? Why now?”

  “When you first asked me to marry you and said we could have a long engagement, I thought I could grow into the idea and settle my fears. It seemed so far off, but then last night, you wanted to nail down a date. You gave me a ring; it’s real and it’s happening. Now you’re saying five children!”

  “Why are you scared? You need to tell me everything, Jackie. I know you’re holding back.”

  She’s got a death grip on my hand. “I had a twin sister who died at birth. I thought you might have known when you ran a background check on me, but then you said you didn’t look at anything personal, only what you needed for safety purposes.”

  “Wow, Jackie, I understand some of your fear but not all of it. Listen, you have to know it was not your fault that you lived.” I squeeze her to me. “So, what else, babe?”

  “Twins run in my family; what if it happens again? I’m afraid something like that would kill you.” She looks up at me. Oh my God, she’s worried about me . . . about my sanity.

  “Babe, you are beyond words. Your kind and generous heart knows no bounds. Whatever is thrown at us, we will deal with together. Plus, medical science is much different today than twenty-five years ago. I don’t expect you to be a baby factory. I would love to adopt, especially some of the children with disabilities that you work with. I love them all. But, babe, I really want to have a child with you; it would be a gift. I know how special you are and I want the world to know too. I promise we will do it together—one step at a time.” I snuggle her into my arms and hold her tight. She is still so tense, and she’s got a tight grip on my arm. I can sense there is something more.

  “Hey, you might as well tell me everything, I’m going to find out anyway.”

  “I need to go home next week,” she says quickly. My grip on her tightens.

  “This is your home—for life.”

  “My birthday is coming up. Every year, I honor Madeline by having a cupcake at the repository where she’s laid to rest. I try to spend the day with my mom, reflecting upon the last year. I have to go, Max.”

  “I know it’s your birthday. I was trying to hold out giving you the ring until then, but it was burning a hole in my pocket. We go together—understood? I spoke to your father and asked for your hand in marriage. Now I can speak to him in person and settle any fears he might have, including that brother of yours.”

  “You spoke to my father?!”

  “Of course, it’s what any good gentleman would do. I assured him you would want for nothing in your lifetime, and that I would love you beyond the end of my days. I must say he was quiet impressed.”

  “What if you’re not back in time?”

  “I will be back, no matter what happens. I promise.”

  I pick up the remote and the music comes to life. As I hold her close in my arms, I know without her, I’m a shell of a man. I rock her gently and mindlessly sing to her. The lyrics are so beautiful about a man who is scared o
f the feelings a woman makes him feel. Stroking her back and softly singing soothes her. “I love you, baby, and I will do anything to make you happy . . . never forget that.”

  “Max, I’ve never heard that song, it’s beautiful. Who sings it?”

  “James Morrison. It’s called “You Give Me Something.” He’s a young bloke, wickedly talented.”

  “What happened with Jax?”

  “Well, we went over business stuff; nothing for you to worry about. He did say that Rose wants to confront Vincent. I don’t know what the fuck she’s thinking? I just want to keep us all safe.”

  “What was in the envelope that An gave you?”

  “The original report that her friend ran on James and an old picture from one of their day trips. Which reminds me, I want to run the picture through the age progression software that I have. Everyone is so young, but something seems familiar.” I sigh. “What’s your plan for the rest of the day?”

  “I want to go for a run and then, later this afternoon, I have a class coming in. Do you want to run with me?”

  “Sure, let me load this picture and change.” I get up and head to my office to load the picture. I’m staring at it and my tingle sense comes alive—fuck! As the faces begin to age, the locked gates within my mind open. A rage deep within me begins to boil. This can’t be happening. The room is spinning out of control; down the rabbit hole, I’m falling. The program finishes, and I freeze on the face of my nightmares.

  I NEED TO TALK to Bella and see if I can persuade her to give up this idea of meeting James, or at least giving her brothers more time. This house is so huge but I finally find her in the kitchen, making coffee. “Hey, Bella, do you have a minute?”

  “Raven, I’m not changing my mind, so if that’s why you’re here, you’re wasting your time.”

  “Bella, please don’t get defensive. I would like to talk to you about the trip. Believe it or not, I do understand why you want to go. It took me a while to figure it out, but I got it. What I don’t get is why the rush? If you value everyone’s safety, why push them? Let them get all the information before jumping in blinded by emotions.”

  “How much time are we talking here? I will give them a few extra days, but nothing changes for me. I want answers that only he can give me. That man’s blood runs through my veins and it disgusts me.”

  “If you really feel that way, then why go?”

  “I look exactly like him. Mum has said many times that I have his personality. How do you think that makes me feel? Knowing what he’s done, I need to know why.”

  “I’m not going to stop you, Bella, but give them some time if they need it, please.”

  “Okay, I’ll go tell Jax.” She gets up and heads out to find Jax. Now, if I could get my mom to agree, all would be right for a little bit.

  I NEED TO FIND Rose and have a talk with her. I don’t want to scare her, but there is no fucking way she is going anywhere near Vincent. I get up to go and as I turn around I find her standing in the doorway. “Rose, I was just coming to find you.”

  “I figured by now Raven told you and that you would be looking for me.”

  “Have a seat, please.” I need to try and remain calm. “I need you to make me understand why you feel you have to see Vincent.”

  She is quiet for a bit, wringing her hands in her lap. “Jax, that man took so much from me.” Her voice is soft and shaky. “I lost my soul mate. My daughter was taken from me and raised by others. I lost my career, which ultimately cost many people their lives. The procedure that I pioneered, had I perfected it, would have saved so many lives. I know that others tried to continue my research, but it was never the same. He destroyed Joseph’s life. He raped and beat me. I need him to know that he didn’t break me.”

  “How did he destroy Joseph’s life?”

  “Joseph was engaged when everything happened. He walked away from the relationship because he felt she would never be safe. He made Raven and me his family. He watched me slowly fade away, and there was nothing he could do about it. He took care of me throughout the pregnancy. He was there when I delivered Duke. I realized Joseph thought there was more to our relationship and, at first, I chose to ignore it, thinking it was only his need to feel needed. Then not to long after Duke was born, he professed his love for me. He built up a vision in his mind that we could live happily ever after. He wanted to keep Duke and raise him as his own. He offered to marry me and make a stable life for all of us. That was the day I tried to take my own life. I realized how much was lost for all of us. I couldn’t hurt him.”

  Shock is all I can register. “Does Raven know any of this?”

  “No. What purpose would it serve? It won’t change the past; that is dead and buried forever. I know now trying to take my life was wrong. I was overwhelmed with grief, fear, and rage. I didn’t know how to deal with any of it. I’ve had more heartache in my life than anyone person should ever have to endure. Now you tell me, how could I not face the man that was the catalyst for most of it.”

  I honestly don’t have any answers for her. I get up and pour us each a drink.

  “Jax, you’re very quiet, this is not like you.”

  “You’re right. I’m at a loss here, part of me agrees with you and the other part doesn’t. I don’t know how to deal with all of this. Have you spoken to your therapist about what you’re planning?”

  “Yes, however, she doesn’t understand the depths of who Vincent is.”

  “What about safety? Vincent got a deal, Rose. He got life in prison without parole. My fear is that he will continue to conduct his business from jail. Once he knows you’re alive, all bets are off. I have to think of everyone’s safety. I’m sorry; you’re going to have to figure out some other way to come to terms with this.”

  “You know, Jax, I could leave, if I want to. I’m not a prisoner here.”

  “You’re right, Rose, you can walk out that door anytime you want, however, you won’t. You love your daughter and granddaughter too much to do that. Think of their safety.”

  “I’ve always put Raven’s safety first. You can protect her and Antonia.”

  “You’re right, I can. But if you go, it will break her heart, and I can’t have that.”

  Her eyes grow wide and I know before she says anything, I don’t even have to turn around. “Raven, I think you and your mum need to talk.” I get up and head toward the door, “I love you and I’m here for you.” I kiss her and head out to find Bella.

  I MAKE A QUICK detour past the nursery to kiss my daughter. Honest to God, I don’t know how I’m going to leave. I make my way downstairs and find Bella in the kitchen. “Hey, sis, I was just coming to find you.”

  “I spoke to Raven. I will give you a few extra days if you need them. I will tell you, no matter what—I’m going. But, for safety purposes, I will give you what you need.”

  I’m floored, how the hell did my wife do it? “You will?”

  “Yes. I want everyone to be safe, Jax. If that’s what it will take, then I will.”

  “I love you.” I grab her, pulling her into my arms. “You can’t possibly know how much this means to me. I need to find Max, let him know what’s going on, and see if he had any luck with that picture.”

  As I turn to leave, Bella grabs my arm, “What picture?”

  “Mum had a picture from one of their day trips. It was a group photo of dad with his friends. Max was going to run it through an age progression program.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  We head out toward Max’s. I’m surprised he hasn’t contacted me yet. Maybe he had no luck with it.

  MAX WAS SUPPOSED TO change for a run but he never came out of his office. I wonder if he had any luck with the picture. I head toward the office and it’s very quiet. Strange. I open the door and it’s dark. I could swear he was in here. I flip the light on and what I see stops me dead in my tracks; Max, sitting in the dark, almost in a frozen state. I rush up to him, but he’s pale and shaking. “Max, please, what�
�s wrong?” He’s not saying anything. I hear Jax and Bella come up behind me. Jax takes my arm “Jackie, what the hell happened?”

  “I don’t know. Please, Jax, help him.

  I CROUCH DOWN NEXT to him. “Hey, Max, it’s me, mate, what happened?” Nothing. I look at the screen to see what he’s fixated on, but all I see is the picture that Max aged. I’ve never seen him like this, not even when his grams died. His eyes are dark and hooded. His fists are clenched and his jaw is tight. He’s shaking, pale, and as he closes his eyes, he begins to sob. For the love of Christ, what the hell? “Talk to me, Max. I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”

  “I told you I was a man out for revenge when my family was slaughtered. I found the murderers and got my justice. I never found the leader . . . until today.”

  I freeze at his words. “Max, who?”

  He points to the man that our father has his arm around, and I feel my heart hit the floor. He growls out the name Miguel Dominguez. Suddenly, Max lets out a roar and in one quick sweep, throws everything off the desk. He’s screaming as I try to hold him back, afraid he’ll hurt himself. “Max, stop! What the hell are you saying? Who is Miguel Dominguez? Are you suggesting that Dad was somehow involved in Samantha and Elliot’s deaths?”

  He glares at me, “What the hell else am I supposed to think? My father has his arm around a murdering, Columbian drug lord, laughing and my family is dead. Don’t tell me it’s a coincidence. I don’t do coincidences and neither do you, Jax.”

  I hear my mum gasp right behind me. I look and Raven has her arm around her. I never even heard them come in. I can only assume Bella must have called them.

  Her knees buckle and Max catches her. “All I have ever done is love you and protect you like any of my children. I don’t know much about that picture; it was over thirty years ago! Please, you must believe me.”