Shattered Lies

by Theresa Sederholt

  “I do. I’m sorry. Please, calm down.”

  She’s very pale and shaking. “Mum, please, Mum. Raven, call the doctor.” Before I can finish, Rose is pushing me out of the way.

  Everything is happening so quickly, yet it feels like slow motion. I step back and let Rose take over while I call the clinic.

  “AN, LOOK AT ME; focus on my voice. Max, get an aspirin now! Focus, An, push whatever you heard out of your head and focus on my voice. Think about Antonia, how soft she is. Michael took me on an adventure today. He showed me some secret passages. Has he taken you yet?” I ask as Max comes back with the aspirin. “An, can you chew this for me, please?” I place the aspirin in her mouth and she begins to chew it. I make sure to keep her in a sitting position with bent knees. I keep talking to her about mindless stuff, keeping my voice soft and low. Trying to keep her focused on anything but what happened here. I check her pulse and it seems to be steadying. Having a clinic on the property is a good thing. Within minutes, the doctor shows up with the ambulance. Max sits next to her and takes her hand. His voice is low and steady. “You listen to me, you will not die today. Not on my watch and never because of all of this.”

  She seems to be getting some color back, but I know she will probably need to be airlifted to the hospital for further care. I don’t know what went on in here, but someone needs to take control. “Jax, go with your mom to the clinic, she will probably have to be airlifted to the hospital.”

  They all race out the door and follow the ambulance to the clinic.

  ONCE AGAIN, I’M WAITING—something I’ve never been good at. Finally, the doctor comes out, “Your mum’s condition is stable but she will need surgery. She had a mild heart attack. She needs an Angioplasty, which will open the arteries. A deflated balloon is threaded through and then inflated. It’s invasive and requires an overnight stay. It’s pretty common, she is lucky whoever took care of her, when it happened, knew the right things to do; probably saved her life.”

  “When will you do this procedure and what are the risks involved?”

  “We are prepping her right now. With any surgery, there are always risks,” he rattles off the long list and I try my best to stay focused. “But this is the least invasive,” he finishes then nods to the nurse who proceeds to hand me a clipboard. “You have some papers that you will need to sign before we can get started. You may see her before we take her in.” He looks around the room at all of us and states, “Only one at a time and make it brief.” He shakes my hand and pats my back before heading off to the OR.

  “Thank you.” I sign whatever they need and hand it to the nurse.

  I head in to see my mum before they take her back. She looks so frail. The stress this past year has been unbearable and it’s taken a toll on all of us. This however, is really bad. “Hi, Mum, you gave us quite the scare. Did the doctor explain what they are going to do?”

  “Yes, how is M-Maxwell?” She begins to cry.

  The monitors start beeping, fuck. “Mum, he will be fine. He’s right outside the door, but they will only let one of us in at a time. We are all here for him, but if you don’t calm down, I’m really going to lose it.”

  She clutches my hand, “Jaxson, I didn’t know.”

  “Mum, he knows. Please, you need to calm down.”

  “Ma’am, we are going to give you something to relax you.”

  “Can you please give us one more moment before you give her that?” She nods and I call in Max and Bella.

  I step back and let them know they need to make it quick before we all get thrown out of here.

  Bella leans in and kisses Mum, “I love you, Mum.”

  She steps back and Max walks up to the bed. “Remember what I told you, not on my watch. I love you, Mum.”

  She smiles as the nurse puts a shot into her IV and she fades out. And now . . . we wait.

  “I love you, Mum.” I’m not sure that she heard me.

  JACKIE IS ROCKING ANTONIA in her arms. I think it’s more for her comfort than my daughter’s. My mom is staring out the window, seemingly lost in thought. I put my arm around her and she smiles. “Raven, she will be okay, I spoke to one of the nurses and I think we got her here in time. What the hell happened to bring this all on?”

  “Once again the past has reared its ugly head. I don’t know all the details and honestly, I’m not sure I want to.”

  “Sometimes we don’t have a choice. No matter how much we want to leave the past behind us, sometimes it’s out of our hands. At least you can all lean on each other for support.”

  Her words remind me that she was alone for twenty years with no one for support.

  They finally take An into surgery and the others have joined us in the waiting room. Waiting is not something any of them do well. Jax walks up and takes Antonia from Jackie’s arms. He takes in a deep cleansing breath. “My salvation,” he whispers. He kisses the tip of her nose. “You ground me.”

  “JAX, WHAT’S THE STATUS on your mom?” I ask as he heads back from the nurses’ station. Before he can answer, the doctor comes out.

  “Your mum did fine. She is in recovery and then they will be moving her to a private room. You can wait in there for her, if you like. Please try and keep the visitors to a minimum.”

  “Thank you. When can we take her home?”

  “I will check her tomorrow. If all is well, she should be good to go home late in the afternoon. Expect her to be sore for a couple of days. She will have to follow up with a cardiologist. I’ll give you a list when she checks out.”

  “Thank you.”

  Everyone heads into An’s room, but I hold Jax back. “Before we head in there, tell me, do you think it might be possible that James could be involved somehow?”

  “I have no idea and right now, I wish to God I never even saw that file, let alone the picture. I don’t know what’s going to happen next or how Max will want to deal with this. I just want it over with.”

  “It’s no longer up to you; it’s up to Max and how he chooses to pursue it. All we can do is support him.”

  “I’ll support my brother as long as he makes the right decision. If not, I will negotiate with him until he does.”

  It’s going to be a long bumpy road. “We will be okay. Come on, let’s see if she’s back in her room yet.”

  “Sweetheart, I wish I could believe that, I really do.”

  “I have faith, Jax . . . enough faith for all of us.”

  The nurses finally bring An in and get her settled in for the night. She’s in and out of it, but it seems to register with her that we are there. I’m happy my daughter has no clue about anything going on around her. Life really does carry on whether we want it to or not. I put Antonia back into her carrier and take Jax’s hand. We head out to the waiting room to be with everyone else. “Come sit for a bit.”

  He sits in the chair and I climb in his lap. I snuggle into him and close my eyes. Just breathing him in calms me. My heart is breaking for all of them. I know the worst is yet to come. I must have fallen asleep, when I open my eyes, daylight has filled the room. I look at Jax and he looks so tired, I doubt he slept. At least Antonia slept the entire time. The past few weeks she has been sleeping longer at night. “Hey, did you get any sleep?”

  “No. Antonia is starting to stir, she probably needs to be changed and I’m sure she wants to eat.”

  “I’ll take care of her.” I get up, stretch, and head over to her. Her eyes are wide and she is kicking her little legs. After I change her, I begin to nurse her. I peek at Jax and he is smiling. “What are you smiling at?”

  “It is so beautiful to watch you with her.”

  The nurse informs us that An is beginning to wake up. She reminds us that only two visitors at a time are allowed. We gather up all our stuff and head into her room.

  Jax takes her hand, “Mum, you’re fine. The surgery went well and we are going to try and get you released today.”

  “Maxwell, how is he?”

  “He�
�s fine mum, right outside that door. If you promise not to get upset I will let him and Bella in; you can only have two visitors at a time.”

  She waves her hand as if swatting a fly, “Nonsense, I want my family in here now.”

  I step outside and tell everyone to quietly slip into the room before we get into trouble.

  She looks around the room at all of us, smiles, closes her eyes, and goes out again.

  “Okay, everyone, she needs her rest; let’s get some coffee.” They all agree and head out the door. Jax takes Antonia. I kiss him and let him know I’ll be out in a moment. I want to make sure she has everything she needs within reach. Her eyes open again. She is so sad and frail. She has been Jax’s rock for so long. “An, look at me, please,” I encourage. She begins to cry, and I wipe away her tears. “There will be none of this crying stuff. You are very strong and your family is looking to you for that guidance and strength. I know Max is hurting, we all are, but you know what? He will be okay. He has Jackie to lean on now. And I know she will support him and guide him through all of this. What this family can’t deal with is anything happening to you. So pull it together and deal with the storm that is coming at us right now.” I can’t believe I just spoke to her like that, what the hell was I thinking?

  “Raven, I could never want for a better daughter-in-law. You are all I ever wished for my son. With all you’ve been through, you still see the good and the happily ever after, how?”

  “I have faith in my love for Jax and our family. It will see me through even the darkest of days. When Vincent held me captive, and I knew I was pregnant, I felt Jax all around me. I drew on his strength and now it’s time this family draws on my strength and faith.”

  “You’re a survivor, the strongest of us all.”

  “I don’t know any other way. Now, how about I help you get cleaned up a bit. Before the others come back, I’m sure it will make you feel better.”

  “Thank you, my dear.”

  MICK WALKS IN. HE sees me and heads over. “Hey, Mick, is everything okay?”

  He hands me two coffee carriers, “I figured everyone could use these right about now. How is Mrs. Phillips doing?”

  “She had surgery and did fine. They will probably release her later today, barring no complications.” I notice he’s got a bag with him. “What’s in the bag, Mick?”

  “I know Raven grabbed the diaper bag, but I wasn’t sure how long you would be here, so I brought some stuff for her. Do you think I can see Mrs. Phillips?”

  I know I must have a look of disbelief on my face, but that was the last thing I expected him to ask me. He’s looking down and picking an imaginary piece of lint off of his shirt. “Sure, I didn’t realize you were close with my mum.”

  He lifts his eyes and smiles, “When you were in Switzerland, we would have tea and talk every day. She listens. She’s a good friend and I respect her. I just want to see for myself that she’s okay.”

  “Hey, you don’t have to explain. My mum has that way about her. She will get you to tell her your whole life story in five minutes without you even realizing you’re doing it. Come on, keep it upbeat, so she doesn’t get stressed.”

  We head back to the room and my mum is awake, sitting up talking to everyone. She sees Mick and smiles. Wow, talk about me being clueless. “Hey, Mum, look who I found.”

  “Mick brought everyone coffee and some stuff for Antonia.”

  Raven hugs him, “You know . . . you’re the best, Mick.”

  “Not really, Raven, I know how you are without your coffee. It’s more for everyone’s safety,” he teases her.

  I take Raven’s hand and bring it up to my lips and kiss it gently. “Sweetheart, why don’t we step out and give them a moment?” I glance over to Max and he ushers everyone out of the room.

  “Mick, we will be out in the hall, if Antonia wakes, please let me know.”

  We step out of the room and Raven’s speechless. “Sweetheart, I have no clue what is going on with them. All I know is, he said they talk a lot since our trip to Switzerland. I’m choosing to leave it at that.”

  “I don’t think they are anything more than friends.”

  “Either way, sweetheart, I choose to keep my head in the sand on this one.”

  “Where is your mum?”

  “She’s at the nurses station, chatting up a storm.”

  “I have to tell you she might have been out of practice for twenty years, but her instincts kicked right in. She saved my mum’s life.”

  “I know; I was amazed how quick and how accurate she was.”

  I pull her tightly into my arms, finding my comfort and solace. “I will always be grateful for all she has done.”

  “I love you, Jax.”

  “More, sweetheart, always more.”

  “MICK, THANK YOU FOR coming. How are you? I’m sorry if I scared you.”

  “Ma’am, you can’t get upset or it will set you back. If that happens, everyone will be all over me. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine now that I know you’re going to be okay.”

  I take hold of his hand for comfort. “Do you think Maxwell will be able to get past this? He was so close to having it all with Jackie, he can’t let this set him back.”

  “I’m telling you; he will get past this. He has his family to lean on now, and, he has Jackie. Please trust me; he will be okay.”

  How do you know that, Mick? ”

  “If I can come back from the bowels of hell, he can too. Now, I’m going back to the house to get everything cleaned up and ready for your return. You need to follow doctor’s orders.”

  “Okay, can you send Maxwell in, I want to talk to him privately.”

  I watch him head out the door, grateful for his kindness and friendship.

  I need to talk to Maxwell alone, I know he will want to know everything I can remember about that bloody picture. I wish to God I never saved it, and then none of this would be happening. The door opens and he pops in, “Mick said you wanted to see me alone.”

  “I figured you would want to know everything I could remember about that picture.”

  “You are supposed to be resting, not getting upset over a picture.”

  “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can put this all in the past—where it should remain. I knew you would ask me for details. I tried to remember anything I could about it. I was seven months pregnant with Jaxson. I didn’t want to go to London, but James insisted. There were four of them, and they were pretty good friends. James had me take the picture, but the man next to him, the man you called Miguel, refused to be in it. At the last minute, James pulled him in and I snapped the picture. Miguel started yelling, as did the man at the other end of the photo. James and the man next to him laughed. I don’t even know their names. That is the only picture I have. I don’t even know why I kept it. I have my personal journals, and the items I gave you. I assure you, I knew nothing about those men. If it will help you, I will give you the journals.”

  He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I don’t need anything else. I know you were just as surprised as I was.”

  I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I whisper, “I heard you call me mum, did you mean it?”

  Before he can answer, everyone begins piling into the room. He’s smiling, so I reach up and yank his ear.

  “Ouch, what’s that for?”

  “You know perfectly well what that’s for. Now, go find that doctor; I want to go home.”

  Everyone is laughing and right now, that is exactly what we all need. Max throws his hands up and starts mumbling while he walks out the door.

  Bella begins gathering my clothes for me. “Mum, you know you really should listen to the doctor.”

  “The sooner I get dressed, the sooner I can get out of here.”

  Just then, Maxwell comes back in with the doctor. “Good morning, Mrs. Phillips, how are you feeling today?”

  “I’m fine. I want to go home right now. I can assure you, we have a clinic at our estate
with all the necessary equipment and a doctor on standby.” That should pacify him

  “You can go home. However, you need to reduce the stress in your life. I also want you to follow up with the cardiologist. He will probably recommend diet modification and exercise. I will sign the necessary paperwork, and then you will be good to go. You need to rest for this week and take it slow. You will be sore for a bit, but the rest will help. Do you have any questions for me?” He looks up from my chart that he had grabbed while he was talking.

  “No, thank you so much for everything.” I give him a curt smile. Reduce the stress—easy for him to say. No sooner does he head out and the nurse brings me my discharge papers, instructions, and a wheel chair. After all is said and done, we are out of here.

  I MAKE SURE MAX and Jackie get back home without any distractions. When I get back to the main house, I find Bella is in the family room by the fire. “Hey, sis, how are you holding up?” She begins to shake and cry. Oh fuck.

  “Jax, I feel like I brought this on myself. If I didn’t insist on going, Max would have never found out. Mum never would have had a heart attack. What have I done?”

  “Hey, stop . . . none of this is your fault.” I take her hand and she immediately gives it the death grip. “It would have come out eventually; secrets always do. It’s better that it came out now while we have a chance to get ahead of this. I don’t want to go in there blind.”

  She gasps, “You still want to go?”

  “Yeah, I’m going. I would feel better though, if you stayed here. Before you say anything, I need to go. Max will need me to stop him from doing something he might not be able to live with.”

  “Jax, who is going to stop you?”

  Before I can answer, my wife steps into the room. “I will.”

  I close my eyes, knowing by the tone in my wife’s voice she’s not happy. “Raven, please give me a chance to explain.”