Weapon of Desire

by Brook, L M

  He hums a tune in the shower as I step into my dress and finish my makeup while sipping a glass of chilled white wine. Eventually he emerges wearing a towel, sauntering through the lounge as I stand tall in my stilettos at the balcony. I meet his observable approval of my tight outfit, high heels and tousled curls.

  “Wow Darcey……so this is what I’ve been missing!” He grinds to a halt and stares.

  “The view is not so bad from over here either.” I ogle his bare masculine physique with a desire to tear away the only shred of material that covers his tight bottom.

  “Why don’t we stay home and order in?” He steps slowly towards me.

  “That sounds very tempting…….but I want you to meet our new neighbours.” I lean back against the balcony as his freshly scented body presses firmly against mine.

  “Spoilsport!” His hands wander lightly over my bottom and under my skirt, gliding up my thighs.

  “Daniel you’re going to make us late.” I breathe in slowly as his teeth nibble at my ear and his tongue trails down my neck to my heaving cleavage. “Dan….…”

  His hands continue to knead and cup my cheeks, slipping fingers underneath my silky knickers. He groans and breaths heavily into my restrained breast and then lifts me up wrapping my legs around his waist.

  “Darcey I want you.” He whispers as he carries me into the bedroom lowering me down onto the bed. Standing between my open legs and claiming my wanting mouth as he leans over me. Pulling back he stares deep into my eyes “Darcey tell me you want me too.”

  My heart skips a beat and my head spins with confusion, I want him inside me, fucking me hard but I’m not sure I want Daniel in the way I think he is requesting? “Daniel I want you to fuck me.”

  He straightens as the towel drops away revealing his arousal. “Darcey tell me you want me.”

  I know he is asking for assurance of my devotion for him but I can’t bring myself to say those words. He leans over me maintaining his drilling eyes and probing my gusset with his stiff head. “Tell me you love me.” His words are slow and clear as his lips brush mine.

  I gulp drowning my words and then dip my tongue softly into his mouth twirling and searching. Withdrawing, I greedily demand “Fuck me.”

  His hand reaches below pulling aside my underwear and guides his cock inside my waiting wet juices. Slamming in hard again and again he continues to hold my stare. Daniel is ferocious almost predatory with stern aggressive eyes. Scarily I want him like this; I want the pleasure and the hard fuck as I close my eyes and arch my back to take all he can give.

  His hand grabs my face and claims my mouth again “Darcey look at me.”

  I open my eyes as he removes his hand while I stare into his cold but needy face taking each thrust deep inside me. His tongue explores insatiably inside my mouth as he fucks at a strong, controlled pace. It’s as though he needs me to acknowledge him as he penetrates me again and again.

  I wrap my legs around his body and wildly devour his mouth. I need to feel his power over me, I don’t want soft and loving Daniel, I want this! There is no other way I can feel with him, just the need to be possessed with hard punishing sex.

  My body can take no more and convulses with the powerful fullness of his cock as he grinds down hard releasing his warm flowing juices. He slumps over me pressing his mouth into my neck as I softly stroke his damp hair enjoying his slowly gyrating cock. Breathing slowly he whispers in my ear “You don’t love me Darcey do you? You still love Anthony.”

  I can’t speak for a few seconds as I sense his heart breaking in two. “I do love you Daniel…..I just needed you like this.”

  He sighs unsatisfied with my answer “You love him.”

  “Yes… I love you both……..I can’t help how I feel….” My stomach churns knowing this is not easy for Daniel to hear but I can’t lie to him. “….but we can make it work.”

  He pulls away and disappears into the kitchen. The fridge door opens and a glass clinks on the worktop as he pours himself some wine. He returns to the bedroom retrieving jeans and a shirt from the wardrobe. Without looking at me he sits on the bed to dress. “We better get ready or we’ll be late.” He is emotionless and cold and I’m feeling ashamed as I tug down my dress and head for the bathroom.

  Removing my clothes I shower away what has just taken place, who am I kidding just myself. I look into the mirror to remove my smudged makeup to start all over again. Twenty minutes later dressed again in my red dress I join Daniel in the lounge. He is laid back on the sofa listening to music with a glass in his hand.

  “Shall we make a move?” I look down at him clutching the cakes.

  He manages a half grin and rises to his feet.

  Greg turns out to be a lot older than Anton with distinguished grey hair and captivating green eyes. The evening is pleasant with Greg and Anton being wonderful hosts presenting an amazing asparagus starter and a tasty fish broth for main. Daniel is charming as usual and occasionally catches my eye with an affectionate smile.

  “So Daniel where is your next assignment?” Anton is taken with Daniel’s good looks and interesting conversation.

  “I’m off to America for 3 weeks on Monday.” Daniel continues to eat without a glance upwards.

  “You didn’t mention a new assignment?” I immediately quiz for more information wondering why he hadn’t told me.

  “We are covering a big story about to break surrounding the extradition of two German Officers for war crimes.” Daniel doesn’t register my question or look my way.

  I continue to eat reflecting on the “we” part of his new assignment. He must be travelling with Melissa and that is why he didn’t want to tell me.

  Anton is intrigued by the story and prompts for more grisly information. “Wow …which war crimes did they commit?”

  Daniel looks up and smirks “what didn’t they do would be easier to answer.”

  “Is Melissa travelling with you?” I blurt out rudely.

  Daniel glares across to me “Yes.”

  I decide to hit the wine with a vengeance attracting disapproving scowls from Daniel. My tongue is becoming far too loose and I know I’m going too far until he has to drag me away due to my drunken state returning to the apartment just before eleven.

  I’m furious as I throw my shoes across the lounge as Daniel watches from the doorway.

  “You have the nerve to accuse me of not loving you when you know you’re jetting off with her for a romantic three weeks. You weren’t even going to tell me were you?” My anger is raging as I stand glaring at him.

  “Darcey I was going to tell you tomorrow and it’s not a romantic holiday it’s my work!” He moves in closer initiating a confrontation with his hands firmly placed on his hips.

  “Oh really is that what you call it while you fuck her?” Mirroring his body I rest my hands on my hips.

  Daniel’s face is wild at this assertion, “I can’t dictate who works on an assignment with me and that is just rich coming from you! You couldn’t wait to fuck Anthony the minute I was gone.”

  “Yes and I’m glad because it felt good after being fucked over by you!” I know I’ve said enough.

  “OK …….. I deserved that!” He raises his hands in the air conveying submission and then walks towards me tilting my chin upwards, kissing me hard. “So we’re quits……so stop with the Melissa shit, I have to accept you still love Anthony. I love you and want you.”

  Pulling back still seething with defeat I know that this is the way it has to be; him working with her and me trying to move on and forget Anthony.

  Standing opposite one another Daniel strokes my face “Darcey if I could turn back the clock I would…….I love you and so regret hurting you.”

  Stepping into his clutches he holds me tight. We both have a lot of resentment and pain that we need to release before we can move on. I’m embarrassed thinking about my behaviour this evening and also surprised how jealous I’m feeling about Daniel and Melissa. The frustration and ang
er has somehow rekindled a passion that we had buried deep.

  Daniel left early on the Monday morning and I sobbed for two hours at the thought of him being with her. The past three weeks have been very difficult. He calls every evening to listen to my usual uneventful day of jogging with Anton, visiting the library and shopping. I’ve been extremely tired and withdrawn so much so that Daniel returned for a weekend and dragged me to a doctor for blood tests. He suspects I’m anaemic and worries about me when he is working away. I want our relationship to survive and we’ve a good chance. I remain hopeful taking each day as it comes.

  My mother and brothers think that I’m dead and Daniel says it’s safer this way with rumours circulating that the Beust family have become increasingly threatening and trying to manipulate key witnesses. There are days when I desperately want to see Mum but I know it’s not safe to do so… well not yet anyway. I still have occasional nightmares and panic attacks when in crowded places, the thought of going through it all again fills me with dread.

  Days are rolling closer to Christmas and I’m incredibly home sick for Dorton and my family. I miss dancing on a night out with Lola, gossiping with Angela at work, girlie nights with Mum and Lesley, telling off my cheeky brothers and I can’t help but admit I miss Anthony’s smile, touch and kiss. I still love him with all my heart but block this out telling myself I should be thankful I’m still alive.

  At the library yesterday I watched a little girl reading with her mother and I felt so alone. I desperately needed to hear Mum’s voice and so I called her from the library payphone. I didn’t speak, just listened. Daniel will be furious that I called her but I needed to feel close to someone.

  As the sun rises I dress ready for my morning jog with Anton. I slurp apple juice and snack on biscuits before we hit the streets.

  “So when is Daniel back?” Anton always amazes me how he can jog and chat without breaking a sweat.

  “Tomorrow.” I can just about speak feeling totally exhausted.

  “Do you want to stop for a smoothie?” How inadequate does he make me feel, Anton obviously is taking pity on my weariness.

  “Sounds good to me.”

  The corner coffee bar is busy with sky news blaring above us on the flat screen TV. My strawberry smoothie is delicious and a most welcome treat. The sky presenter announces breaking news that Marie Lowe and Frederick Beust have both been arrested for the kidnap and murder of Darcey Brooks.

  I nearly drop my glass as my attention turns towards the picture of me plastered across the TV screen. The presenter goes on to say that I’ve not been seen since October.

  “That’s you isn’t it?” Anton looks at me waiting for a response as he casually swirls his smoothie with a straw.

  I’ve become very fond of Anton; he’s been my best friend in Madrid and I can’t bear to lie to him anymore. “Yes I’m Darcey Brooks.”

  “I’ve had my suspicions for a couple of weeks but wanted to ask you direct.” He rests back in his chair “I’ve been following the news……..Anthony Hunt offered half a million this week to anyone with information that would lead to you.” Anton is deadly serious.

  “Are you going to contact him?” I wouldn’t blame him, it’s a lot of money which would help set up his gallery.

  He moves in closer to whisper “Don’t worry your secret is safe with me……… what are you going to do now?”

  “I want to see my family.” I smile relieved at his support.

  “No, I mean stay here with Daniel or return to Anthony?” Anton obviously knows a lot about the case.

  “I don’t know….. I love them both but Anthony comes with a lot of dangerous baggage!” The news reader has moved onto another story but I’m keen to get out of the bar as quickly as possible before anyone else recognizes me.

  “Tough decision! Come on let’s get jogging, always helps me think clearer.” Anton pays the bill and we hit the pavement again. “If you like I’ll pop in for coffee this afternoon. We can talk some more if that will help? You can help me choose my poster design for the gallery opening.” He smiles enthusiastically.

  “Deal!” I grin appreciating him being around to talk. “I’ll be back from the library around three.”

  Returning to the apartment I decide to shower quickly, change and head for the Market for lunch and pick up some fresh herbs in preparation of my planned delicacy for Daniel when he gets home tomorrow. The weather is changing to blustery showers hence my jeans and boots with a thick woollen sweater and my tweed cap. I’m feeling a little lighter as I stroll amongst the busy lunchtime crowds; you know what they say “a problem shared is a problem halved.”

  The library is always quiet during the afternoon and I quickly settle at a table shielded by tall bookcases that is not my usual spot which is already taken by two whispering students. I come here to break up my long, lonely day and nosily people watch. Opening my gripping thriller I’m drawn in within no time.

  My concentration is suddenly broken when I hear raised male voices at the receptionist’s desk which is located on the other side of the bookcase. As they converse loudly in Spanish shivers run down my spine recognising a tinge of German accent. Slowly I stand peeking through the books to see the driver of the car in Berlin with another man I’ve never seen before.

  The receptionist suspiciously eyes the men as they hand her a photograph and continue to fire questions in Spanish. Swiftly responding I hear my name Jessica Palmer as she hands back the print. In amongst their garbled conversation I catch the words “Darcey Brooks.” The strong German accent saturates my already heightened senses.

  The receptionist looks on overwhelmed with their news. She was taking a call when I arrived and clearly hadn’t seen me hide in this corner. I capture 3pm being mentioned as they stare down at their watches. Then she points out towards the library café where I assume she is asking them to wait. Relieved I watch her sweetly smile knowing this buys me some time to escape.

  The German shuffles impatiently revealing that terrifying glare I know so well.

  “Gracias.” They turn and exit through the main door.

  Staring at my muted phone I realise that I’ve missed a call from Anton. I’ve half an hour to get back, pack some items, call Daniel and get on a train somewhere… anyway! I make my hasty exit scraping my hair back up in my cap and mingling with a small group of students as they leave the library.

  Out of breathe I leap the steps up to the apartment and nervously fiddle with the key in the lock which seems to take forever. Closing the door behind me I quickly plug in my phone to charge while I grab Daniel’s sport’s bag and stuff with a few items of clothing and a wash bag.

  I rummage to the back of the bedroom drawer to retrieve my fake passport with an envelope stashed with euros for emergencies. I stare at the clock its 2.45 and then I remember Anton, I must call him back. Swinging the bag over my shoulder I tap out a short text to Daniel recalling the time difference in Los Angeles. It will be just after six in the morning and he may be still sleeping.

  They’ve found me!!!! I’m leaving. Call me when you get this.

  Darcey X

  Before I can call Anton there’s a knock at the door. My heart is pounding so loudly I can hardly think straight.

  Anton’s voice is stressed “Darcey.” Something is wrong.

  Suddenly I hear a male voice with a German accent. “Darcey open up.”

  Quietly I open the balcony doors and throw my bag down below. I hear a single gunshot and a thud on the floor, my instincts tell me to jump as I climb over the balcony hanging freely above the courtyard. A loud crash comes from the apartment as I drop to the floor retrieving my bag and dashing through the courtyard towards the gated exit.

  I feel sick; my new life has just collapsed, where do I run to? Why can’t my life be simple, why can’t I be happy for once? I want to speak to Daniel; he’d know what to do. I need to talk to someone. I burst through the gates and onto the street looking in both directions searching for a passing
taxi or bus. Running towards the busy city centre I know that the train station isn’t too far.

  A car screeches out onto the road behind me making a good pace. My legs feel like jelly and my brain has gone into meltdown. A familiar man’s voice shouts from the speeding car. “Darcey!”

  Without turning around to acknowledge him I begin to sprint faster. The car follows alongside as my phone rings constantly from inside my bag.

  “Darcey stop!” I know him but I don’t want to take any chances.

  Running as fast as I can I reach the crossroads as the car pulls sharply in front of me. Nick leans out of the car window “Darcey get in.”

  I stand staring into his face; the realisation comes thundering down on me, it’s not all over. I give into the notion that I’m beat; I can’t hide or run anymore. Walking around to the passenger side of his car I open the door to climb inside.

  “You’ve been hard to find; I traced your call to Rosemary yesterday but so did our German friends.” Nick smiles as he swivels in his seat and removes an earpiece. “You’re looking well Darcey or should I say Jessica.”

  I manage a smile and then suddenly break down as my emotions run freely. I’m really pleased to see Nick again and welcome his comforting arm around my shoulders.

  “How’s Anthony?” I eventually murmur.

  “He’s ok; he’s never given up looking for you.” Nick peers down at me. “Why did you run?”

  “I was frightened…..I couldn’t take anymore.” I wipe my face with the back of my hand.

  He leans back in his seat and starts the engine. “We’d better get out of here; Colonel Garner has a plane waiting at a nearby airfield.”

  My mobile rings again inside my bag. “I need to speak to Daniel.” I pipe up with conviction. Nick looks confused as I answer Daniel’s call.

  “I’m sorry Daniel.” I look across to Nick who listens with a troubled expression. “Nick is driving me to an airfield, I’m heading back.”

  Daniel is silent and I know he must feel useless being so many miles away. I remember Anton calling me as my words trail off into a distorted mutter “I think they shot Anton.”