Protogenesis: Before the Beginning

by Alysia Helming

  Janus backs away and for once is at a loss for words. He shakes his head, arms extended out, then says, “I can’t tell you. That’s your mother’s job, not mine!!”

  “So, now you’re admitting she’s alive?” I ask, incredulous.

  His eyes shift. “Actually, I meant to say that she was supposed to tell you…before she died.” He looks down at his shoes in awkward silence, but it’s too late. He’s been caught in his own lie. Time to confront him. I’m sick and tired of his lies. It’s not right.

  “You’ve known all along that my mom was alive! Why didn’t you tell me? Why?” I crumple into the back of the chair. My heart feels crushed as a wave of emotions hit me hard. I feel betrayed and angry. How could he keep this from me?

  Janus sits in the chair next to me and touches my arm to comfort me. “It was all for your own good, for your protection. It’s dangerous for you to know too much before you’re ready. One day, when the time is right, your mother will tell you everything. Then this will all make perfect sense.”

  “Oh, so you must be talking about my mother who is supposed to be dead?” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “I think you need to rethink your logic. How am I supposed to protect myself from Ares if I get attacked again if I know nothing about what I’m up against?”

  “That won’t happen again,” he says quietly. “The guard we assigned arrived too late that night, but—”

  “I don’t care!” My voice rises. “If you can’t tell me anything about the Prophecy, then how about the Lone Cypress Tree? I know this tree is the key to my finding Mom. If I can just go back to Gaea and find it…”

  Janus starts to laugh. “Are you nuts? There’s absolutely no way you’re going back to Gaea!”

  The ground shakes beneath our feet. A rumbling tremor travels through the whole building. “No, no, no! This is not good…not good at all!” His lips quirk in agitation as his intensity grows. “Do you feel that?! That’s the Gate! When both you and Bastet pass through it together, you make it unstable! You’re going to cause it to collapse, just like the Olympic Gate!”

  “Whatever!” I yell. “It’s not fair for you to keep my mother from me. It’s wrong!”

  “You don’t understand. Your mother doesn’t want to be found. There are important reasons for all of it. It’s imperative that we keep you safe. Trust me on this.”

  Of course, he’s lying again. There’s no way my mother would be hiding from me. She would never leave me like that! But a trace of doubt seeps into my head, and suddenly my eyes well up with tears.

  I look down at my phone and see the date. Saturday. What? No. There’s no way that can be right. If it is, then I have been in Gaea for five days and missed almost a whole week of school.

  “Janus, what day is it today?” I ask sullenly, wiping tears from my eyes.

  “Saturday,” he says evenly. “I had to lie to the school for you. Told them you were sick.”

  As I listen to his tirade, my thoughts wander off, and then realization hits me. “The dance…is tonight,” I whisper, my voice wavering in a panic.

  “Well, there’s no way you’re going! It’s not safe. I can’t let you out of my sight.”

  “But you don’t understand! I promised Nick that I would go!” I erupt. The intensity of the last four days is now completely overwhelming to me.

  Janus frowns, a crease forming on his brow. “You’re going with him? Then definitely no.”

  It’s not fair. I turn eighteen tomorrow. Janus has no right to suddenly act like my guardian. This is the most horrible day ever. I’m not allowed to go to the dance, Janus has taken away the collar and my only way to get back to Gaea, and now I’m afraid that my mother doesn’t even want me to find her.

  “I hate you!” I slam the door and run downstairs into Janus’s shop. Anger surges through my veins. Just for once, I wish I could live a normal life and go to the dance just like any other girl.

  My thoughts are interrupted by a soft rapping sound. I look up and am startled to see Nick staring through the glass door at me. What’s he doing here? When I open the door, he asks me if I’m all ready for tonight.

  Before I can even say anything, Janus comes stomping down the hollow wooden steps in a rage, then yells at Nick, “She’s not going!”

  Nick’s face grows ashen. “What? But I’ve been planning this all week.”

  “Life sucks sometimes,” Janus says. “You’ll get over it. Now, run along!”

  But Nick isn’t backing down so easily. “Look old man, you can’t…”

  Their voices escalate into a yelling match, which abruptly comes to an end when Janus forces Nick out the door. It is bad enough that he won’t let me go to the dance, but now he’s going to completely sever any chance for me to go out with Nick ever again.

  “You’re ruining my whole life!” I yell at Janus, then run outside after Nick. I’ve got to salvage this. What to do? An image of my mom fills my head. She would want me to go tonight no matter what. I have an idea.

  “Nick, wait!” I call out after him. He halts in his tracks and turns to me. His look is apprehensive. “Listen, I don’t care what Janus says,” I say. “I’m going to the dance with you. I’ll sneak out…whatever it takes. Can you meet me there?”

  Nick is disappointed. “This is so not cool. I was planning to pick you up and take you to a nice dinner.” He shrugs, looking up to the ceiling. “I had something really special planned. There’s something, uh, important that I need to ask you.”

  “Can’t you just ask me now?” It must be something significant because he’s not making eye contact. Something is different about him. “What is it?” I ask, suddenly nervous.

  “Do you think you could be happy with me?” he asks tentatively.

  I answer, perplexed, “Of course I’m happy with you!”

  “No,” he says, sighing heavily. “I mean…what I meant was…would you want to go out with me, like, you know…seriously?”

  “What?” I step back.

  “You know, like you could be my…” he stammers, “…girlfriend.”

  I had an idea about this, but well, since I’m not Greek, I wasn’t sure. He is a rebel after all. Maybe it’s about time he breaks this rule. This is a lot to process, so all I can think to say is, “Oh!”

  A look of pained frustration comes over Nick. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, then I don’t know.”

  “Oh no,” I say, “I didn’t mean to sound like that. It’s just…well, I’m kind of in shock because I wasn’t expecting it.”

  “Oh,” he says, relieved. “So that was a yes, as in you want to?”

  The street life around us seems to freeze in time as I gaze into his endless gray-green eyes. I don’t want to freak him out further, but I can’t do this right now.

  “I’m not sure I can be who you want me to be. My mother is missing, maybe dead. I just moved around the world to stay with a crazy godfather I didn’t know I had, and someone wants me dead. I come with a lot of baggage…warning labels.”

  It’s not as if I’m lying. I’m not exactly an expert at serious relationships, so to add that to the stress of trying to find Mom is just too much, too crazy.

  “You mean the kind that say, ‘Treat gently. Handle with care’?” Nick’s strong arms surround me in an embrace. He takes a step back, peering deep into my eyes. “I can do that. We can take this as slowly as you want. All I ask is to be with you and to have the privilege of showing you my masterful dance moves later.”

  “Masterful dance moves?” I ask, unable to resist smiling.

  He nods and spins me around into a dip. “Oh yes. You, Miss Ballerina, aren’t the only one
around here with some killer footwork.”

  “I believe you,” I say, laughing. It feels good to joke around for just a moment. I’m a normal girl whose biggest problem is what to wear to the dance.

  I watch as Nick walks back to his apartment, and I allow my mind to drift off somewhere far away as I consider it all. So much has happened this week. Somehow, I thought I would have plenty of time to talk to Ever, to explain why I was going to the dance with Nick, but how could I have known that I would be in Gaea for a whole week?

  Ever. In my heart, I’m torn. Every time I’m with him, I experience something so intensely deep. It’s raw and primal, as if I’ve known him beyond this life, maybe in a past life, and it’s terrifying. If I let myself be swept away by him, I’m not sure I’d ever recover. He might push me over the edge, and how could I help Mom then? Besides, it seems that my feelings are one-sided. All we’ll ever be is friends. I’m not sure I can do it.

  I look at my watch. I need to call Ever to try to explain. My heart trembles and my breathing grows shallow as I pick up my phone to dial his number. The phone rings a few times. I almost hang up, when I hear his cheery voice on the other end…but it’s his voicemail. What to say? I don’t know.

  “Ummm, hi. It’s me. Look, when you asked me to the dance that first time, I said no because, honestly, I thought I would be out of town looking for my mom, but…I didn’t leave town after all, and…well, now it’s all screwed up, complicated. So, since I’m sure that you already have another date by now, I’ve made plans with a…” – I pause for a moment, not sure what to say about Nick – “…friend to take me.”

  At least tried to let him know, even though my excuse feels hollow and flimsy. Anyway, he’ll be the hot commodity at the dance and won’t even notice that I’m there.

  I try to envision Nick all dressed up for the dance, but then it dawns on me that he may not be able to afford a nice suit. I don’t care. He could be dressed in nothing but torn-up jean shorts and a tight t-shirt and look amazing. Better yet, how about no shirt? Yes! A part of me hopes that he will do just that.

  The grandfather clock chimes heartily to announce that yet another hour has passed. I’d better hurry up and get ready! Just then, a startling reality hits me. What will I wear tonight?

  Crap. I don’t have a dress!

  29 – The Dance

  I take a deep breath. It’s all relative. Seriously, I just found out that my mom is Artemis! Who gives a crap about a silly dress? I can figure this out.

  I make an emergency call to Vani. She’s going to be mad that I’ve been out all week and am just now calling her. I can only imagine what she’ll do when I call to beg for her help at the last minute before the dance. Hopefully, she’s in her usual cheerful mood today.

  She picks up on the first ring.

  “You know how much I love you, right?” I say.

  “Cut the crap, Helene. Where have you been?”

  “I’ve been sick!” I say, pretending to cough.

  I’m expecting her to give me more trouble, but instead, it’s as if she expected this. “Yeah, half the school is out with some sort of weird bug. It’s crazy! But you’re okay, right?” she asks, concerned.

  “Well, yes and no. The illness is gone, but I had no time to shop for a dress this week! I’m supposed to meet Nick in a few hours for the dance. Please, can you help? I need a dress.”

  Vani is totally incredulous. “God, Helene! This is crazy!”

  “I can wear anything, really,” I tell her. “It doesn’t have to be super fancy.”

  “The dress is easy,” she says with confidence. I can feel her grinning through the phone. “What is totally insane is you not calling to tell me that Nick asked you to the dance! I don’t care how sick you are. You can pick up the phone!” She’s pissed at me, rightfully so, but I can’t get upset because I know that I had a very good reason for not calling her. I was in another universe talking to Athena!

  “Of course, I already knew about Nick. He asked for my help, so I told him to ask you to the dance.”

  “I thought that might be the case,” I say. She always has my back.

  I hear her rustling something in the background. “Well, lucky for you, I spent most of today at Celia Kritharioti’s boutique in Golden Hall.”

  “Who?”

  “Uh, she’s like one of the most exciting Greek designers in Athens,” Vani exclaims. “Anyway, I couldn’t decide what I liked best, so I bought three gowns. You and I are about the same size now, right?”

  Thankfully, yes. I explain my predicament. I’ll have to sneak out to go to the dance. There’s no way for Nick to pick me up here. He’s meeting me later.

  “I don’t get it,” Vani sighs. “Why is Janus being such a turd?”

  “I don’t know,” I say in frustration.

  She’s quiet for a bit, probably considering my options. Finally, she sighs again. “Fine. Just figure out how to get over here, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

  I locate Janus’s stash of cash in the tin can hidden on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet, and twenty minutes later, I make my way over to Vani’s house via taxi. She looks amazing in a full-length emerald green dress that drapes elegantly around her slight frame.

  She ushers me into her room and takes over. She hands me dresses and makes me try on shoes, all the while doing my hair and makeup. She chatters on about nail polish colors and Spanx. All this fussing is giving me a headache.

  Just when I think I can’t stand it any longer, I turn and catch my reflection in the full-length mirror. I barely recognize myself in this gorgeous crimson full-length gown. Wow.

  I barely have time to admire Vani’s handiwork when her phone rings. She lifts her eyebrow, deeply engrossed in her call. “Yeah, uh-huh…” After a few minutes, she covers the phone with her hand, turns to me, and says, “It’s Nick. He’s running a little late, so he’ll meet us there.” She touches my arm in concern. “Look, just be careful with him. He’s had a hard time over the past year. You know, his heart was brutally broken over a year ago.”

  I sigh. “Yeah, he told me the whole story, including how his best friend betrayed him.”

  “Ah, well, then I’m sure you understand why it’s such a huge deal for him to take you to the dance at the school where all of that awfulness happened,” she says, her expression serious and pained. “He hasn’t been back to the Academy since he was forced to drop out.”

  “Yeah,” I tell her, “don’t worry. We agreed to take things slow. We’re cool.”

  “Good!” she says. She looks at her watch. “Alexis should be downstairs with the limo. Ready?”

  The drive is short. We step out of the limo and it’s clear that Athens International Academy has spared no expense in creating a truly spectacular experience for us tonight. Lining the walkway is a long azure-blue carpet edged in white – the national colors of Greece – that stretches through the entryway and into the main gymnasium. The principal announces each person as we arrive like we are celebrities attending the Oscars.

  Then it’s my turn. As I stride down the “blue carpet,” I catch my reflection in the mirrors that cover the walls around the entryway. I barely recognize myself. It is almost otherworldly. My dark hair is long and shiny, hanging down my back like a curtain, swept up and away from my face, which accentuates my eyes and lashes, making me appear doe-eyed, exotic, and glamorous.

  And the dress…oh my! Bold crimson silk accentuates my smooth, sun-kissed skin as the gown plunges down from my neckline, forming a deep V that ends at my waist, where the fitted silky fabric hugs me like a glove, only to then sweep out and cascade fluently down to the floor. Sheer elegance. It all feels so surreal. Is this rea
lly me?

  I feel as if all eyes are on me as I take in the incredible décor. The entire interior of the gymnasium has been transformed back in time to a much earlier era in Athens’s history, decorated with a potpourri of banners displaying majestic ancient Greek temples made from white marble and cobblestone streets lined with tall cypress trees. In the true spirit of ancient Greece, a female musician dressed in a tunic, called hitonas, plays the lute, or laouto, an instrument that sounds so distinctly Greek to me. When I hear the musician’s fingers touch the different strings, I hear an echo in my heart. It takes me back to when I first arrived here, when it sounded so foreign, so exotic. But now that I live here, it feels very familiar, as if it has become a part of me.

  A crowd of people swarm around us, but after saying hello, I’m growing anxious to find Nick, so I move away from the group to look around. There’s no sign of him yet. Remarkably, there’s no sign of Ever either. Distracted and alone, I look to the stage, where the band is gearing up to play soon. Suddenly, the music starts, the lights grow dim, and the crowd goes crazy. What is all this madness about? Then suddenly, the lead singer appears.

  My heart leaps when I see Ever saunter onto the stage. Of course, I knew I would see him tonight, but nothing has prepared me for how I feel seeing him here like this. He’s truly a sight to behold up there on stage with his dark tousled hair, smooth tan, and intense sea-blue eyes, all dressed up in an extremely expensive designer suit – like a real rock star.

  I can’t wait to hear Ever’s voice. I’ve never heard him sing before, and suddenly I want to. I don’t think he’s seen me yet, so I try to hide within the mass of single girls who swarm near the front of the stage. Nick’s still not here yet, so I don’t feel totally guilty about this.