Protogenesis: Before the Beginning

by Alysia Helming

  Ever signals to his band, then starts to sing. It’s a deeply emotional and seductive ballad. The melodic sound of an instrument called the oud subtly juxtaposed with the rhythm of this unbelievably passionate song stokes a long-lost fire within me. The raw fervor and melancholy in his voice moves me somewhere deep inside, almost to tears.

  All eyes are fixed on Ever as his rich, silky voice resonates through the gym, mesmerizing the swaying crowd.

  And we chameleons who fall in love with light…

  Fallen in love with forever.

  Suddenly, his blue eyes meet mine. His lips brush the microphone. Oh God. Goose bumps form on my neck, running down my spine in little rivers.

  I can’t seem to break the connection between us. A subtle attraction radiates from Ever on the stage to me in my heart, back and forth throughout the song. His voice reverberates through my soul as he sings,

  I want you now, don't you see?

  Burn your boundaries and come with me.

  It’s as if I can sense everything he’s feeling with each beat of the music, as if we have become part of the melody itself. It makes me want to move…to dance. The ballerina in me yearns to come alive. I can’t help myself.

  I want forever and this night.

  Eternity begins tonight; come hold me tight.

  Then it hits me. This is the song he wrote for me. I didn’t believe it before, but now I’m sure of it. I’m filled with such a tremendous flood of emotion towards him that I can barely contain myself.

  A tiny voice inside me can’t believe that Ever feels this way about me. I thought he just wanted to be friends. He’s performing, as an actor does! This emotion can’t be for me. But then again, I know the truth. It’s not just an act. There’s no denying it.

  He cares about me.

  As the song draws to a close, the magic of the spell is abruptly broken. Ever’s focus is pulled to the frenzied mass of girls waving at him. His charisma is infectious as more people crowd up to the front, bumping and smacking into each other, all trying to get closer to him. It’s madness! This is exactly why I can’t be with him.

  I feel a tug on my arm. Nick. His hand falls down my arm to my hand, where he strokes the inside of my fingers, which instantly brings me back to the here and now. He whisks me away from the stage, off to the side. As his adoring gray-green eyes take in the sight of me, an enormous smile grows on his face. I’ve never seen him like this, so elegant and posh with his light brown hair slicked back, wearing a dark, expensive suit. His bronzed skin appears vibrant under a crisp white shirt, which falls open at the neck. I can’t even believe this is Nick.

  “Hi,” he says shyly. Then he leans over, nuzzles my ear, and whispers, “You’re stunning.”

  “Thanks,” I say, smiling sweetly. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” I give him a playful wink. “Where did you get the suit, GQ?”

  “Nooo,” he says with a laugh. “This is a relic from the old days, from when I was able to afford to go to Athens International Academy.”

  “Oh yeah,” I say. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him about it. “Well, I’m glad you can still put it to good use.”

  The DJ takes over from Ever’s band, and the music shifts to hits from America. Nick moves his arms around my waist, holding me in close as we sway back and forth to the sound, touching cheeks in silence. I inhale, filling my senses with his sweet minty lemon scent. The hairs on my neck tingle from being so close to him. Vani and Alexis come over to join us. We laugh and all dance together.

  I’m glad that Nick’s here with me, but part of me aches for – I hate to say it – Ever. That song still haunts my heart, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m so confused. Looking around, I don’t see Samantha, which confirms my earlier suspicions that Ever asked me to the dance only because she couldn’t go. I was so sure my feelings were one-sided, that this was completely platonic. The longing in Ever’s eyes and the surge of emotion in his song, which he said he wrote just for me, tells a different story. I’m afraid to look up because I might see him. Of course, I’m sure he got the voicemail, so…

  I feel a tap on my back. It’s him.

  He’s not happy. I immediately tense up. If he was interested in being more than friends with me, then I know this can’t go well. I should have made sure to reach him in real time to explain before now.

  Ever’s eyes narrow as he takes in the sight of Vani, Alexis…and then Nick.

  “Did you get my voicemail?” I stammer.

  “What voicemail?” His voice is tight as he pulls out his phone, then nods when he sees the missed call from me.

  Nick pushes around me and says, “What’s going on?” Suddenly, he sees Ever. His face grows ashen, as if someone has shot him.

  Ever and Nick glare at each other. Hot rage and seething, pent-up anger boil between them. The music stops, and suddenly, all eyes are on us. Everyone is gawking in strained silence. I just stand there, completely numb, frozen in place like a deer in the headlights. This can’t end well for anyone.

  Vani stares at us in silence, mouth gaping open in shock.

  After an eternity of this concentrated staredown, Nick finally speaks. His voice is cold, cutting like ice. “Helene?” He pulls me in close to him as if to protect me, ironically, from Ever.

  “Don’t tell me that you’re here with…Nick?” Ever’s voice cuts me like a razor. “Unbelievable!” He laughs in a mocking voice.

  Nick frowns, interrupting gruffly in a tight, hostile voice. “What do you care who she’s with?”

  Ever is incredulous. “She didn’t tell you? She’s supposed to be here with me tonight. Tell him, Helene.”

  I want to explain, anything, but what can I say? “If you recall, when you asked me to go to the dance, I said no.”

  Ever shakes his head.

  I continue, “In the voicemail that you didn’t hear, I told you that I was coming with a friend!”

  Nick’s eyes grow wide as pain fills his face. “Oh, so now I’m just a friend?”

  Instantly, pain, anger, hurt, and frustration consume Ever all at once. In the next moment, though, the tables turn on me when he comes back with, “I’ve clearly underestimated you, Helene.” He flashes me a wry smile. “Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”

  I stare at him in shock. What? His eyes are cold and impassive, completely void of emotion, as if he doesn’t know me. The thought of Ever being so dismissive, so angry at me – and that I might deserve it – hurts me so deeply that it burns me down to the core. The memory of his words from that song consumes my mind and scalds my soul. He thinks I did this on purpose?

  Nick turns all his attention to Ever, now completely ignoring me. “I’d say it’s more than poetic justice that she’s with me and not you! You’re nothing but a lying rat who has no trouble stealing his best friend’s girl.” Nick’s face grows hot and red. “You so deserve this!”

  Ever doesn’t back down. “I would be very careful what you say, Niko. My father owns the tour operator that you work for…and since you’re nothing more than a high school dropout, you’re lucky to even have a job like that. Extremely lucky.”

  That was low. I knew that Ever could be cold at times, but this is merciless. Deep-seated distress fills me as I try to imagine how Nick must feel right now. The crowd surrounding us starts to whisper, which makes matters worse.

  Nick’s face reddens in fury. His fists are clenched. “Fine. Go cry to your daddy! He’ll fix everything for you like he always does when you mess up! You weren’t man enough then with Melina. Why should you be less of a malaka now?”

  I stand there in stunned silence as it dawns on me what this is about. Melina. All the
stories that Nick and Vani told me. Ever is the childhood friend who stole Nick’s girlfriend.

  Ever steps away from Nick with a smirk on his face. His tone is dry yet mocking. “Look, Niko, I didn’t steal Melina. She made her own decisions. She just wasn’t into you. It’s not my fault that she liked me more than you.”

  Nick’s face contorts, bright red with emotion now.

  Ever and Nick exchange glowering looks. But then, slowly but surely, I catch a glimpse of what they must have been like back when they used to be friends…best friends.

  Ever’s voice grows quiet. “You know she was a gold-digger, right, Nick? She didn’t care about either of us. We were just means to an end.”

  “No!” Nick yells so loud that it pierces my ears.

  “It’s true,” Ever says. “You were like a brother to me. But none of it even mattered after that…all of it gone. Poof! All over some stupid girl!”

  Nick’s body shakes, but he starts to back away. “But I loved her!”

  Ever has his hands out in consolation, trying to explain further. “I’m sorry about that, I truly am, but she lied to us. She told me that you guys broke up and that you wanted me to go out with her.”

  “Wha…?” Nick looks incredulous, eyes wide. “No!”

  I’m worried that Nick might take a swing at Ever, so finally I step in between them with my arms out. “Stop it! That’s enough.”

  Nick shakes his head in anger at Ever, eyes alive and daring. “This isn’t over!”

  I guide Nick by the arm to a table to cool off. I’m so consumed with soothing him that I barely hear it when Ever shifts his anger to me. “Speaking of girls,” he says with exaggerated vehemence, “watch out for her!” Before I can even utter a word, Ever turns on his heel and stalks off across the dance floor.

  Shaking my head, I turn my attention back to Nick, who looks so wounded that it makes my heart hurt. “So, he’s made a play for you, then,” he whispers. “Don’t try to hide it. He clearly thought you were here for him, but why?”

  I shrug, looking away. What can I say? Clearly, I have handled all of this in the worst possible way.

  Then, I see Samantha. Far off on the other side of the gymnasium, I watch Ever walk over and pull her away from her date. They start to dance, slow and close. It’s painfully obvious to me now just how often Ever gets his way.

  I try to explain to Nick, “He asked me to the dance two weeks ago, but I said no. In fact, I said, ‘Definitely no,’ but it’s as if he wasn’t able to hear me or something.”

  “I should have known that he would go for you.” Nick seethes. “Of course, he would.”

  Just then, the band starts playing again as Ever jumps up on stage. This time, he sings a song in Greek, his voice laced with passion and anger as his intense blue-green eyes bore into mine. The words in this song cut into me like a knife.

  “Oute Ikseres…”

  As I glance to my right, I can see that Nick is uncomfortable, and not surprisingly, he’s starting to get upset. It’s too much for him. And really, it’s too much for me. Nick turns to me, shaking my shoulder. “Helene! Just tell me the truth. Would you rather have come here tonight with him?”

  I shake my head no, but the pull of Ever’s pained, sultry voice keeps me from forming any words. My mind says no, but my heart is moving somewhere else, to a place my mind should not go with Ever. I shake my head in an attempt to break the spell.

  “Let’s get out of here!” Nick says, clearly upset.

  “Okay,” I agree. We barely even say good-bye to Vani and Alexis as we hastily depart out the back door, not looking back. The sound of Ever’s voice still haunts me as if I can still hear him, but now off in the distance.

  Vani’s limo whisks us over to Janus’s place. The whole ride back, Nick barely looks at me, so I don’t look at him. Both of us sit awkwardly in unnatural silence. It’s so strained that I don’t even care about facing the wrath of Janus when I get home.

  When we finally arrive back in Metaxourgeio, the night is shrouded in an eerie hush, almost as if the city knows that something is amiss between us. A wave of disruptive energy seems to emanate from Nick, so much so that I’m afraid he’s just going to leave me at the doorstep, never to talk to me again. So when Nick turns to leave just as I knew he would, I try to stop him.

  “Wait. Nick. Please don’t go,” I plead.

  A moment of silence passes between us. Remarkably, Janus is nowhere in sight, and for once, it seems we have the whole place to ourselves. Normally, this would be perfect, but tonight, well, things are not going well. Not at all.

  Finally, Nick breaks his silence. “I know there’s something between you and Ever. That was very clear tonight. And I won’t allow myself to be caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation again. Never again.”

  He turns slightly toward me, his face an impassive mask that I don’t recognize. I just want one last glimpse of him…my Nick. I glimpse a flash of the helix tattoo on his wrist, and the image of my mother fills my head.

  I snap out of my angst. All this craziness tonight pales in comparison to what I’ve been through these past weeks. Seriously! My mom is a goddess. Artemis, goddess of the hunt, animals, and the environment, and protector of young girls. As much as I like both Nick and Ever, this conflict from their past is not my issue.

  With these thoughts, I’m not sure what to say to Nick, so I stand there staring at him, eyes unblinking.

  He looks at his watch and frowns. His voice is strained and tight. “It’s getting late. I need to go.”

  As I watch him leave, my heart is sad, but I hope in time he’ll realize that his issue is with Ever, not me. Perhaps he just needs to be alone to process all of tonight’s craziness, but in my heart, I know the truth. He is upset…with me. I hurt him. And the worst part of it is that I have no idea what I could have done differently.

  How is his past with Ever…with Melina…my fault?

  30 – Mirage

  Bastet jumps up onto my lap and nudges my chin to comfort me. The haunting melody of Ever’s song plays over and over in my head. I attempt to block the sound from my mind, but the cry of the clarinet won’t leave me alone. I catch a glimpse of the photo next to my bed: my mom’s smiling face. Her valiant voice echoes through my mind, reinforcing my thoughts about Ever and Nick.

  “Time to refocus, Helene. Remember what’s important.”

  She’s right. Enough is enough. Back to business. I need to use the Catalyst to find the Lone Cypress Tree and get that collar back so I can go to Gaea to find Mom. There’s no more time to waste! I remember now where Janus hid the collar. The safe! If I can break the basement door lock, why not the safe’s too? Hope fills me as I rush over to the wall, push the picture to the side, and point my left finger with the silver ring directly at the safe. Zap!

  It opens.

  Adrenaline pulses through my veins as I shove the stacks of euros to the side, searching the expanse of the inside of the safe. There’s no sign of the collar! Janus must have known I would be able to get in here, so he moved it. Argh! Now how will I get back to Gaea?

  I realize I’m completely exhausted. I can’t think anymore. I strip off my dress, careful to hang it up nicely for Vani, throw on my PJs, and crash onto the couch. The next thing I know, my eyelids grow heavy, and my breathing slows and I’m out cold.

  I dream that I am in Gaea. I am alone in the desert, walking unsteadily in the hot sand, with the giant red sun shining above and no water. My skin feels burning hot, my mouth is parched, and my tongue is swollen with thirst. I walk up a large sand dune but am unsure of my destination. The sun is starting to drop to the horizon, indicating that early evening is here. My feet a
re searing even through the soles of my shoes, which feel like they are melting into my feet. One foot plods on slowly in front of the other.

  As I reach the top of the tall dune, I look out over the vast plateau, and something strange catches my eye. At the bottom of the dune I see what appears to be a mini-oasis with a sparkling pond glistening under the red sun and a copse of silver-colored palm trees. The water looks so inviting with its translucent clarity. This must be a mirage. But then I remind myself that it must be a dream. “Of course it is,” I whisper.

  I tear down the dune in a full run, oblivious to my body’s pains, stripping off most of my clothes, and I throw my body full force into the sparkling water. “It’s real!” I squeal with delight. Lapping up the water in earnest, I am suddenly so thankful for my dream taking this turn for the better.

  I hear movement behind me. Turning slowly towards the sound, I’m surprised to see another mirage. Standing under the shade of a silver palm tree is Nick, his brawny, powerful body dressed only in shorts.

  “May I join you?” he asks, smiling.

  Excited to see him standing there, so vibrant and healthy, the fibers of his muscles virile and strong, I rush out of the water and throw my arms around his neck in a fierce hug. I’m happy that he seems to be over what happened at the dance.

  “Nick, it’s good to see you,” I say earnestly. His gorgeous eyes melt me as he slowly lifts my mouth to his. We start kissing, gentle and sweet.

  Then something shifts and changes in his energy. As his kisses grow more and more urgent, I sense heat growing deep inside of me. His passion turns raw and unabashed, as if fire from a dragon has been unleashed. This doesn’t feel like the Nick I know…but not that I mind.

  Feeling a little overwhelmed by the sudden transformation, I pull back to look at him. As our eyes meet, I see intense hunger and desire, but the exquisite sea-blue eyes staring back at me do not belong to Nick.