Jace: Rebels Advocate (Book 4)

by Sheridan Anne

  “Shit,” he grunts before looking up at Rylee. “How much has he drunk?”

  Rylee pulls out the nearly empty bottle of bourbon and places it down before me. “I needed to keep him away from Cami,” she explains.

  “Jesus,” Luke groans. “Thanks for calling. I wouldn’t want him driving like this.”

  Rylee nods. “Yep, just get him out of here before he throws up all over my bar.”

  “You got it,” Luke laughs before hoisting me up to my feet.

  “I want to stay,” I tell Luke. “Rylee was just explaining something about eating her placenta.”

  “Ugh,” Luke grunts in disgust before turning back to Rylee with a questioning look. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

  She shrugs her shoulders and grins at him, enjoying the way he cringes in distaste. “I saw it on the Kardashians.”

  Luke shakes his head in exasperation and Rylee chuckles to herself. He says bye and I turn to Rylee with a salute. “See you ‘round,” I say giggling at the joke as I look down at her round stomach. “It’s been a pleasure.”

  She rolls her eyes and allows Luke to pull me away. “How ya going, man?” I say as he leads me out the door.

  “You tell me,” he grunts. “I was in bed with my woman when Rylee called to drive your drunk ass home.”

  “Oh, so…. not good then?” I question.

  He shakes his head as we reach his truck and get ourselves in. “What’s going on with you?” he questions. “You’ve been an ass all day and now you’re fucked up.”

  “Cami’s back,” I tell him.

  “Yeah, I know,” he grunts. “Lex has been with her all night. That’s no excuse to start acting like a dickhead.”

  “I yelled at her.”

  “Ok…,” he says slowly.

  “I’m going to yell at her again.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” he groans. “You’re not going to yell at her. You’re going to move the fuck on.”

  “Move on,” I scoff. Does this fucker not know who he’s talking about? “If I was going to move on, I would have done it two fucking years ago. Cami is not a girl you move on from.”

  “Right, then go and be with her. You know, if she’ll have you after the hell you put her through.”

  “I can’t,” I demand. I mean, he fucking knows this.

  “Why the fuck not?” he argues. “You’re being an idiot. Either be with her and be happy or forget about her and let her move on. Stop doing this in between bullshit. You’re both fucking miserable.”

  I want to argue and say that I’m not miserable, just to be a stubborn asshole, but he’s right. I’ve been miserable for two fucking years. I sit in silence, looking out the window. If only things were different, I would have had my girl right by my side.

  “I don’t get it, man,” Luke says, breaking the silence. “What’s holding you back?”

  “I’m no good for her. She deserves better.”

  “Come on,” he groans. “Not this bullshit again.”

  “You don’t fucking get it,” I snap.

  “What’s there not to get?” he demands. “You’re throwing something away that could be fucking great.”

  “Don’t you think I get that?” I tell him. “I’m a fucking monster. She doesn’t need me in her life fucking things up.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  I shake my head. I can’t talk about. I can’t admit to my best friend what kind of man I am. He’ll never think the same of me. I’m supposed to be this worthy soldier, but I’m nothing but a fraud. A fucking dangerous, unpredictable, fraud.

  I can’t let him know that three years ago I beat my father to within an inch of his life. I put him in a fucking coma for two months. My loving father. He didn’t do a damn thing to deserve it. One minute I was fine, talking about mom’s birthday with him over the grill, the next thing I know, I’m holding him down, beating the ever-loving shit out of him.

  I fucking blanked out and three years later, it’s still happening. I haven’t wanted to label it and admit that I have a problem, but my gut is telling me it’s PTSD. I know I need to get help, but something is always pulling me back.

  Since then, it happens every few weeks, though luckily, I haven’t hurt anyone since my father, or well, I haven’t that I know of. Maybe it was a once off or maybe it’s happening all the time and I just have no fucking idea. Either way, it terrifies me.

  So how could a man like me be around a woman like Cami?

  What if that had been her? What if I was too close to her and lost my shit?

  What if I hurt her?

  I could never be with her. I could never risk her safety or her life like that.

  Luke and I sit in silence the rest of the way home. He doesn’t try to bring up Cami again and I’m thankful. I don’t want to yell at him again when all he’s looking out for is both of our happiness. I know I should tell him, but I just can’t.

  Luke has been through way too much and has suffered his own trauma. He doesn’t need to deal with this shit too.

  He pulls up at my place and I go to get out. “Thanks,” I murmur.

  “Yeah,” he grunts. “Go sleep it off. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

  I nod, and with that, he pulls out of my drive and disappears.

  I make my way inside, feeling like absolute shit. I’m fucking tired and all I want to do is lose myself in Cami. I collapse down onto my bed, wishing there was some kind of way to change things. That I could magically click my fingers and everything would be ok. I’d have my girl by my side and she’d have everything she ever wanted, but I know it will never happen.

  So, for now, I close my eyes and imagine she’s here, just like I do every other fucking night.

  Chapter 6

  Cami

  It’s been one hell of a shitty week. To try and forget about the sight of a baby in Jace’s arms, I jumped straight back into my work at the store and that is honestly all I’ve really accomplished in the seven days since I’ve been back.

  Rylee still hasn’t talked to me, despite the texts and calls I’ve been sending her way.

  Jace hasn’t come to yell at me, which, you’d think is a good thing, but I’m constantly freaking out with the fact that it could happen at any time. I mean, the guy is spontaneous. It’s so hard to get a read on him. I know he has a lot of shit to throw my way and part of me just wants to get it over and done with.

  Maybe he just doesn’t care anymore. After two years, maybe he’s lost interest in me and moved on. I mean, surely not. If that were the case, he wouldn’t have lost his shit the other day. He wouldn’t have touched my shoulder in the way he did. But then… he’s got a kid now. Kids change everything.

  The thought of him moving on kills me. No longer holding his heart as my own… shit. I couldn’t take the pain of that. I can handle him breaking my heart, but learning that he no longer loves me would be devastating. In fact, if that were the case, I don’t think I’d want to know. Just thinking about it is awful.

  It makes me wonder about the mother of that child. I mean, who the hell is she is and why is she so much more than I am? Was she a random hook up or is she the love of his life? Is she the woman who has that special thing that he’s been looking for, the thing I simply just don’t have? I mean, why am I not enough to have a future with him but this woman is?

  The only good thing that’s come from this week is that I’ve started on some designs and finally got my shit together. I went and bought myself a new sewing machine as my last one was my mom’s from when she was younger, I’ve bought a shit load of fabric, and I’m starting to get serious.

  My designs will no longer be pictures on my notepad. From now on, I will be Cameron Drew Designs, owner of Style me Crazy.

  I’m excited, and more so, it’s done wonder in helping get my mind of life.

  I sit at the store after closing as my apartment just isn’t big enough to spread out in and I get to work with my designs. It’ been a massive
day at the store and I was able to meet Kim. She seems nice enough so I guess she’ll be staying on. Besides, she’s was a big help today when the store was crazy busy with customers. Things just seemed to flow really nicely having a third person running around.

  So, with my personal life an absolute mess, at least my business is striving.

  I’ve turned off all the lights in the store and locked the front door so that it looks as though no one is here, while I work away out the back, doing my best to piece together a black cocktail dress.

  I’m so excited about this one. I’ve made two of these throughout the week and after getting Bec and Lilly to try them on, I have a few tweaks to make and then it should be perfect. So far, it’s super basic and will have a lot of work to be added to it, but for a start, it’s looking good.

  I must be working on my dress for hours when a massive bang is heard from the fast food place next door. The sound is muffled through the walls, but it still manages to scare the shit out of me.

  I press a hand to my heart and do my best to calm my racing heart. There are no screams or anything coming from next door, so I’m assuming everything is fine.

  I get stuck back into my work and find myself humming along to the music I have playing through my new phone as I cut through the delicate fabric.

  I hold the piece up and give it a good look before placing it back down on my work table and starting on the next piece. I get carried away and it’s not until the smell of smoke starts assaulting my senses that I realize something is wrong.

  I fly out of my chair and look around. “What the fuck?” I murmur to myself. Where the hell is this smoke coming from. My little back room is all closed up so I go over to the door leading to the main part of the store and push my way through.

  There’s a red haze covering the entire store as the adjoining wall between my store and the fast food place is lit up like a christmas tree. My eyes widen in horror as I take in the sight before me.

  “Shit,” I squeal, I jump into action and start dashing around the store.

  How can this be happening?

  The fire is quickly spreading as it catches onto all the clothes I have lined by the side wall. I run towards the clothes on the racks and do my best to pull them away from the fire to hopefully minimize the damage, but who am I kidding? The place is going up in flames quicker than I could ever have imagined.

  The noise from the flames is ridiculous and within moments, the fire has spread the whole way up the wall and is through half the store already. The smoke thickens around me and it doesn’t take long for it to start burning my lungs.

  Panic races through me and I have no choice but to get out of here and save myself. There’s nothing more I can do for my store. If I run back to get my bag, I’ll most likely be trapped in here, I have to leave now.

  I run to the door and grab the handle before remembering that I’d locked it and I’d need my keys to get it undone. I turn around to race for my bag but it’s too late, if I run, I’ll never make it out.

  I frantically shake on the door handle, desperate to get it open when I look up and see people outside who have crowded around the fast food place to get a look. I bang my fists on the glass door to get their attention and scream out.

  With the noise from the fire, it’s a miracle that a teenage boy and a big burly man, who I’m assuming is his father, manage to hear me. Their faces drop as they notice me in here and it’s clear that the people around had assumed that my store was empty.

  They race towards me and call for help from the people around. “Help me,” I scream out.

  They get to the door and they frantically search around for a way to get it open. I hear the sound of the fire trucks in the distance, but I need to be out of here now. The smoke is starting to fill up the store and I can feel it heavy in my lungs.

  The people outside bang on the door and I feel myself becoming weaker when the teenage boy dives into the tray of the truck parked by the road. He pulls out one of those big tire iron things and pushes the people out of the way. “Get down,” he yells to me before rearing back and slamming the metal into the glass door.

  Come on. Come on. I can’t die like this. I need to see him just one last time. Please, God. Don’t let this be the end.

  The glass breaks but not enough to make a hole for me to get out, so he tries again and again. His father takes over and with incredible strength, manages to break the thick glass. It shatters and he quickly reaches in. “Come on,” he yells as he hauls me out of my store.

  The two of them practically drag me out into the middle of the road while someone thrusts a bottle of water at me and another dabs at my arm. I look down and realize that I’ve somehow cut myself, yet I have absolutely no idea how it happened. All I can focus on is the way the flames completely engulf my store.

  I can’t tear my eyes away from it. All the hard work I’ve put in over the last four years is gone. In the blink of an eye, it’s all taken away from me. Just like that.

  The tears silently roll down my cheeks as the fire trucks finally arrive.

  The teenage boy and his father remain next to me while a paramedic looks over my arm. He asks me a few things but all I can focus on is the devastation before me.

  How the hell did this happen? One minute, I’m working on building a career in the fashion industry. The next…. nothing.

  I sit in this very spot, watching as the firemen put out the flames. People come and check on me to make sure I’m alright while others ask if there’s anyone they can call. I don’t respond, just keep looking at everything I’ve lost.

  The paramedics get to me and kneel down in front of me before checking me over and bandaging my cut. They suggest I go down to the hospital for observation and when I say no, they suggest it again. I know it’s irrational of me but here is where I need to be.

  The paramedics leave as after refusing treatment, there’s not a lot they can do for me. The father and son eventually leave. The police come and go. The onlookers walk away. Until it’s just me, sitting here in the middle of the road, staring at the future that’s just been taken away.

  Everything I love has been taken away from me.

  I’ve lost Jace.

  I’ve lost Rylee.

  I’ve lost my store.

  What in this world is left for me?

  Chapter 7

  Jace

  The sound of my phone screeching to life in the middle of the night has me jolting out of bed. I reach across to my bedside table and rip the phone off the charger as I look down at the screen.

  Mack? What the hell?

  I used to serve in the military with Big Mack years ago. He now works as a fireman in Denver, but I have no fucking idea what he could possibly be calling me about. I haven’t spoken to the guy in ages. “Big Mack,” I say. “Are you on another bender? Do you have any idea what fucking time it is?”

  “Hey, man,” he says with a strange tone in his voice. “I wish I was on a fucking bender, but this is a business call.”

  “Business call?” I grunt. What the fuck is he on about? His business has nothing to do with me unless it has something to do with our time in Iraq, but I highly doubt it.

  “Yeah, man. I’m on call tonight,” he explains. “We just responded to a fire in the old fast food joint, the shop next door went down with it. I could have sworn you said that was your girl’s.”

  “What? Style me Crazy?” I question, sitting up a little straighter. “Are you sure? Is there much damage?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “Listen. There was a girl inside the store. She’s not talking to anybody, just sitting there refusing to be touched. If this is your girl, then you better get down here.”

  “Fuck,” I curse as I fly out of bed. “Is she alright?”

  “From what I can see, yeah,” he tells me.

  “Alright, man, I’ll be there in ten.”

  I hang up the call and I fly out the door as my panic instantly takes over. The image of Cami being insi
de a burning store rushes through my head and refuses to leave. The image has my foot flat on the gas as I fly towards Style me Crazy.

  Fuck. I hope it wasn’t her.

  Anybody but her.

  I couldn’t live with myself if she was hurt.

  I get there in four minutes flat and come to a screeching halt as I almost run over her sitting in the middle of the fucking road. I launch myself out of my truck and run to her.

  She doesn’t even notice me coming.

  I scoop her up into my arms which is when she tears her eyes away from the burnt mess and looks at me. “Jace?” she questions with tears pooled in her eyes.

  “Yeah, baby. I’m here. You’re ok.”

  She instantly nuzzles her face into my chest as a sob rips from her throat. I hold her as close as humanly possible before walking back over to my truck and sitting down with her.

  She cries on my shirt and I run my hand over her hair and down her back before repeating the process over and over again. As she cries, I take a moment to look around. The fast food place and Style me Crazy are nothing but ashes.

  The area is sectioned off by police tape and standing across the road is Big Mack, watching over Cami, waiting for someone to come and claim her.

  As he notices my eyes on him, he nods before disappearing into the darkness, leaving us completely alone in this traumatized street. I’ll have to remind myself to thank him for looking out for her. He didn’t have to do that, but he did. I owe the fucker with my life.

  Completely alone, I pay all my attention to my girl. “Cami?” I question as she continues crying into my chest. “Are you hurt?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Ok,” I murmur as I lift my hand to run it down her hair again.

  “We’re you inside?”

  With that, she nods and it tears me to shreds. I can only image what she must have been feeling in that moment. She would have been terrified.

  “The doors were locked,” she mumbles into my chest before sniffling. “I couldn’t get out.”