Lessons of the Past

by Chloe Maxx

  Tears blurred my vision. “Why are you being so mean?” Lane had never talked to me like this before.

  “Alex.” He sighed and kneeled beside me. “I’m not trying to be mean. Well, I kinda am. It pisses me off that you think you can come over here and yell at me when you’re sleeping with a married man. And, oh yeah, he’s also your professor.”

  I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “It’s not as bad as you think. I promise. You know me.”

  He gathered me close to him and kissed my hair. “I do. That’s why it shocked me so much. As someone who has recently been cheated on, it makes me kinda sick to think my best friend would do that to somebody else.”

  “Lane,” I cried. “Don’t hate me. I know it looks bad, but it’s not.”

  “Alex, I’ll never hate you. It’s just…unbelievable.”

  “He doesn’t love her. She doesn’t love him. They both know it isn’t real,” I sputtered. I hated the fact that Lane would think less of me. “I promise. I’d never break up a marriage.”

  “Okay.” He kissed my temple. “Okay. Settle down. I’m still right here.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes while I tried to calm down. Finally, I mumbled, “So…at lunch yesterday...?”

  Lane lightly chuckled. “It was amusing to see your facial expressions when Amy was talking about him. That text you got was from him, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your face lit up in a way I had never seen before. He makes you happy, doesn’t he?”

  “He does.” I pulled away from him and wiped the tears from my face. “It’s a complicated situation, but he makes me feel…alive.” Lane nodded, but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry, Lane. You’re my best friend, but I couldn’t tell you this.”

  “Yes, you could. You know I’d never say anything.” He sat back on the couch. “You knew I wouldn’t like it, and I’d tell you.”

  “Don’t,” I warned. “Please.” I didn’t want to hear his disapproval anymore.

  “Okay. But you know where I stand.” He reached for the bag and tossed another donut hole in his mouth. “Now. Let’s get this over with. You’re pissed at me for sleeping with Courtney.”

  I sniffed and grabbed a donut. “Well, I came over here ready to rip you a new one, but I don’t feel so up to it now.”

  He laughed. “It’s okay. You’re mad your two best friends got together. I get it. Well…I don’t really, but I’ll try.”

  “Lane,” I said, “that isn’t why I’m mad. I’m mad that you left her for Amy last night.”

  His eyebrows scrunched, confused. “What? I didn’t leave her for Amy.”

  “Courtney thinks you did.”

  He sat up straighter, then shot up off the couch. “Fuck,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “She really thinks that?”

  “Yeah. She’s a little upset. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I think you need to know…Lane, she loves you. Has real feelings for you.”

  “Damn it. I’ll be right back.” He walked down the hallway and disappeared for a minute before he came back holding his cell phone. “Here is the deal…I kinda feel the same way about her, but I never wanted to act on it because I figured you wouldn’t like it. You’ve been my best friend for forever, I can’t lose you.”

  I stood up and hugged him. “You’re stuck with me, so no worries there, okay?” I tipped my head back to look at his sweet, handsome face. “And I want you with Courtney. My two best friends getting together is great. I won’t have to worry about hating your girlfriend or her boyfriend.”

  He chuckled. “You hated Beth, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “She’s a bitch.”

  “Okay.” Lane pulled back. “I’m going to call and see if I can talk to her this morning. Are we okay?”

  I swallowed. “I don’t know, are we? Do you think less of me now?”

  “No. Never. You know I love you, Alex. That will never change.”

  I kissed his cheek. “He stays for his little girl. He doesn’t even sleep in the same room as his wife…Amy.”

  “Oh, shit.” He snorted. “Well, that’s quite coincidental.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I grabbed a donut hole then made my way to the door. “I gotta go. Good luck with Courtney. Love you.”

  “Bye,” he said, already placing the call.

  After leaving Lane’s apartment, I went by the coffee shop and grabbed a latte. It was starting to get chilly, so I ordered a regular hot one.

  I was in a chipper mood knowing Lane felt the same way about Courtney as she did him, so I decided to stop by Javier’s office and surprise him. Once I entered the building, I jogged up the flight of stairs and walked toward his door. I came to an abrupt halt when I heard him talking to someone. Leaning against the wall, I tried to listen to the conversation. As soon as I heard the voice, I knew it was the girl from my calculus class. I think he had called her Mia, but in my head, she was “slut girl”. They seemed to be talking about calculus and nothing else, but she kept giggling every time he spoke. I imagined her twirling her hair, too, and I wanted to gag.

  I took my phone out and texted him.

  Me: Tell the slut to leave.

  Listening, I heard him excuse himself to check his phone. Then, a minute later, “I’m really sorry. I’ve just been called into a meeting. If you have any other questions, I’m sure Emily can help you.”

  “Oh. O-kay,” she said and I moved down the hallway a bit. A minute later, she sauntered out of his office and he stood in the doorway, smirking.

  I grinned and stepped toward him. When I passed him, I inhaled, taking in his masculine scent. “To what do I owe this honor?”

  He shut the door and I took the opportunity to shove him up against the wall. He grinned just before my lips crashed into his, causing a moan to rumble from his throat. I loved having that effect on him. Loved that I could turn him on at any time. His hands found my hair and I unbuttoned his pants, deciding to reward him for kicking the slutty girl out for me.

  My nipples perked and my breasts became heavy at the thought of what I wanted to do. Once I unzipped his pants, I dropped to my knees abruptly. “What are—” I cut him off with my lips wrapping around his cock. He was hard, so ready for me. I let his length enter my mouth as my tongue slid along the underside. “Fuck…so good,” he hissed.

  I picked up my pace, letting him slide slowly in and out, in and out. With one hand, I massaged his sack, with the other, I grabbed his magnificent ass and kneaded. I wanted to grin at the fact that I could now touch the ass I had once admired and drooled over.

  Knowing other students and professors were just on the other side of the door while I continued to suck him turned me on. I knew it was wrong, dangerous even, but that just added to the appeal.

  He grabbed onto the back of my head, pushed himself all the way into my mouth, and came, groaning quietly. After he was completely finished, I stood and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Good morning.”

  “I have no idea,” Javier said, putting himself back in his pants, “what brought that on, but I would say it is a good morning indeed.”

  I laughed and planted a kiss on his lips. “I’m in a good mood and wanted to surprise you.”

  “You definitely surprised me. Why are you in such a good mood?” He made his way around his desk and sat.

  “I stopped by Lane’s and talked to him. Turns out, he didn’t go see that girl last night. And he wants to be with Courtney.”

  He nodded and started tapping on his keyboard. I realized at that point I had completely interrupted his work time. “I’m sorry. I should go—you’re at work.”

  “Wait,” he said. “Emily graded your latest assignment. You got an eighty-two.”

  “What?” I yelled. “Are you kidding me? Holy shit, I might pass your class!”

  Javier chuckled. “I thought you’d like that. Just make sure you keep it up.”

  “Yes, sir.” I was seriously happy. I sank down in the ch
air in front of him as he grinned at me. “This is great news. I need to celebrate.”

  “How do you want to celebrate?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe we can this weekend?”

  “Sure.” He glanced at his phone, then placed it back on the desk. “I really need to get back to work.”

  “Yeah. Sorry,” I said, noticing the energy change between us. I couldn’t help the feeling of being brushed off in the same way as the other girl. I grabbed my things and stood while he continued staring at the papers on his desk. “Hope you have a good day. I’ll see you later.”

  He didn’t reply, and my good mood melted. He was dismissing me as if he barely knew me. I realized he was at work and had things to do, but he didn’t even say goodbye. He didn’t even look up as I walked away.

  What the hell just happened?

  My cell phone beeped as I exited the building, and I thought maybe he was going to say something, but it wasn’t him. It was Courtney, and I couldn’t help the small burst of laughter.

  Courtney: Holy shit! Lane just asked me out on a real date. A real fucking date!

  Reading her text, I forgot about Javier’s odd behavior and grew excited for my friend.

  Me: That is awesome! I can’t wait to hear the details!

  Instead of putting my phone away, I decided to text Javier. I needed to know why he had dismissed me in that way. We were in a relationship and he needed to talk to me if something was bothering him.

  Me: Do you want to explain what happened in your office?

  I found a bench and sank down, staring at my phone. He didn’t text me back for several minutes.

  Javier: I believe you blew me.

  I rolled my eyes at his deflecting.

  Me: Don’t be crude. And don’t act stupid. You know exactly what I’m asking about. Which is made that much worse by the fact that I “blew you” just before being kicked out.

  I hated to admit it, but his behavior hurt. It made me feel cheap.

  Javier: Don’t. I just have a lot on my mind. I’m sorry.

  Me: Why don’t you talk to me about it? I know it probably has to do with me anyway.

  Javier: Have a good day, Alexandria.

  Had he seriously just dismissed me again? Forget hurt—now, I was pissed. I didn’t care that he was at work. Marching back into the math building, my anger grew at a rapid pace.

  I knocked on Javier’s open door and walked in. He glanced up, irritated, and I shut the door.

  “I just have one thing to say,” I said. “You can go fuck yourself! I will not be dismissed like that again.” Then, I opened the door and left.

  It wasn’t until my phone began ringing that I noticed a text I’d gotten a few seconds after his last one.

  Javier: I love you.

  Damn it.

  Chapter 17

  Courtney and I were lounged out on her bed, a homemade face mask covering her face. I had come over to hear all about her and Lane before my Tuesday evening class.

  “I just can’t believe it, you know? I’ve had a teenage crush on him for the last two years,” she said.

  “I’m so happy for you. He’s such a great guy.” I brushed red nail polish over my toenail. “I can’t tell you how many times he’s been there for me over the years. I’m so glad he’s finally getting someone great.”

  “Aww, you’re too sweet.”

  I swiped one last nail and capped the polish. “He told me that he stayed away from you because he didn’t want to make me mad. I guess he was worried I’d feel like a third wheel or something.”

  Courtney tried to smile under her hardening mask. “I’m glad you set him straight. He’s…he’s just fucking great. And hot. Oh my gosh, his abs—very lickable.” You should see my boyfriend’s abs.

  I giggled at her dreamy comment and glazed eyes. “I agree, he’s very attractive. It was hard being his best friend in high school. The girls threw themselves at him and hated me.”

  “Don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. But I bet it had to be the same for him. Having a beautiful girl with sexy curves as a best friend.”

  I ignored her comment. I hated talking about my looks. “Oh, change of subject,” I said. “My sister called today and she is driving up next weekend. The four of us will have to do something fun.” I paused. “Unless you and Lane want some alone time. I’d totally understand if you do.”

  Courtney got up and walked to the bathroom. “I think we can manage to spend some time with you and Rebecca. We aren’t rabbits.”

  “I don’t know, from what you told me, y’all were awful busy this morning,” I called out, laughing.

  The water began running and I heard a muffled, “Shut up.”

  I laughed and checked the time. It was time for me to get to my class. I gathered up my stuff as she entered the room, and said, “I have to go, but I’m so freakin’ happy for you.”

  “Thanks. It’s still a little surreal.”

  I laughed and kissed her cheek on my way out. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Oh, hey, how’s it going with the guy from your class?”

  I stopped. “Huh?” I asked, lost. Then I remembered my lie. “Oh, him, it’s going. Nothing new.”

  Narrowing her eyes, Courtney asked, “And you’re okay with that?”

  “Yeah. I’m not really in a place to take it any further.” It technically wasn’t a lie. Javier and I couldn’t take our relationship to another level for a couple reasons.

  “As long as you are happy.”

  “I am,” I assured her. “I promise.”

  “Okay.”

  “Bye, Court. Love you.”

  ***

  After my last class, I settled on my couch with a glass of wine and reruns of Friends. It had been a great day as far as seeing my two best friends happy, but an irritating day as far as my own love life. My anger for Javier had dissipated, but hadn’t fully gone away. How dare he treat me like that? You can’t rudely dismiss someone in person and text, then follow it up with “I love you” and expect everything to be peachy.

  The lock of my door rattled before Javier walked in. He slammed the door and tossed his keys on the coffee table. His face was pure anger. “I can go fuck myself?”

  Muting the TV, I took a sip of wine, then replied, “Yes. I believe that’s what I said.”

  Javier rolled his eyes and stalked to the kitchen. He retrieved a glass and poured himself some wine. “You do realize you are acting like an immature bitch, right? Some of us have adult responsibilities.”

  What the hell? “Is that so? I had no idea. Why don’t you enjoy that wine then get back to your adult responsibilities at your own home.”

  He emptied the wine. “Don’t,” he warned, but I didn’t care.

  “I’m going to take a shower. When I get out, I expect you to be gone. I’m not putting up with your shit tonight. You don’t get to treat me however you want then expect me to forgive you by telling me you love me.”

  “At least I fucking say it!”

  I narrowed my eyes, but couldn’t think of anything to say. He was being a complete asshole, but he did have a point. I hadn’t told him I loved him. I couldn’t though, I had to guard my heart. In one swift second, he strode toward me and slammed his lips on mine. I could almost taste his anger.

  Javier pulled back, his hands on my cheeks. “I’m sorry, okay? Yes, I was an ass to you today. It’s just hard to be sitting there with the girl who just gave me a mind-blowing orgasm, who also happens to be my student, and get a text from my boss.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “What we are doing has a lot of risks. If we get caught, you could be kicked out of SUBC, I could be fired. I can’t do that to Caroline.”

  “Javier…what did the text say?” My mind began to race at the possibilities. I hadn’t just worked my ass off for the last three years to be kicked out of school. “Does he know about us?”

  “No. It was about a stupid meeting. But it was enough to make me realize how risky this is.” He kis
sed me again. “But I can’t stay away from you either. God, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I wanted you. And now, I love you.”

  My anger melted with his words, along with my fear. It was easy to forget our relationship was against the rules when he so easily consumed me. “I’m sorry.”

  “How about instead of fucking myself, I fuck you?” Javier whispered, kissing down my face, and finally in the sensitive spot below my ear.

  “Mmm, that sounds…okay.”

  He flicked my nipple through my thin shirt. “Okay? I may just have to spank you for that.”

  I bit my lip in reply. I actually liked the sound of that. His eyebrow arched and he placed a hard kiss to my lips. He tore my shirt over my head and placed one more kiss on my lips before shoving my shorts and panties down my legs. Then, he tossed me on the couch, my chest landing on the armrest.

  Javier stepped in front of me, his face a mix of love and lust. Slowly, he undid his jeans and shoved them down. His hard cock was visible through his boxer briefs. I reached out and stroked him. “Baby…” he moaned, then pushed his underwear down, exposing his large, hard dick. I licked my lips at the sight of him. “Open that sexy mouth.” I complied and he plunged his cock down my throat.

  Immediately, I wrapped my lips around him and sucked. I could taste his arousal, which added to my own. My breasts became full, my nipples perked, and a deep need rested in my sex. “Fuck, baby, that’s it. Suck my cock.”

  Javier pushed harder, teaching me a lesson, and I couldn’t get enough. I wanted him in all ways, wanted to feel his skin against mine. Reaching behind him, I grabbed his ass. It was perfectly contoured and silky smooth. I racked my fingernails down his ass, then kneaded each cheek as he continued to pump inside my mouth.

  I let my hands roam over his backside, and with one final thrust, he came down my throat. “You suck so good,” Javier breathed and pulled out.

  He moved behind me and cracked his hand against my ass. “Oh…” I cried out.

  “You like that, baby?” he asked as he repeated the act. Before I could reply, his hand came around my front, flicking my clit. “I’m going to fuck that bitchiness out of you, but first, I’m going to make you feel really good.” Then, he pushed me down further against the armrest and his tongue was on my nub.