Balefire

by Barrett

  Kirin tried to follow her gaze but saw nothing. “Are you all right?”

  Silke nodded. “Better than all right.”

  Kirin stepped closer and saw that Silke’s expression was more like awe or wonder. She tenderly stroked Silke’s arms from behind. Silke shivered, and pulled Kirin’s arms around her waist.

  “I’m pretty sure you can’t see this, so I must be hallucinating, but the reflection on the lake is just a magical,” Silke said.

  Kirin followed her gaze out to the middle of the lake where she could see fractured sunlight dancing on the surface of the water and looking like crystals. “I see the sunlight on the waves.”

  Silke let the towel fall off and held on to Kirin’s hands. “Something strange is happening. The light is refracted like a kaleidoscope and it’s changing colors so fast. I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s beautiful.”

  Kirin felt her heart race. Maybe Silke was losing her vision or having a stroke. Except, she sounded so calm. She hugged her closer, kissed her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’d tell me if anything’s wrong.”

  Silke leaned into her. “Something’s changed, I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m not worried. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just a lot of colored shapes and lights. But I feel as though my heart is expanding in a wonderful way. ”

  “You’re probably right. Maybe it’s the cold water, but I think you should lie down.”

  Silke turned and draped her arms around Kirin’s neck. “I think I’m not used to feeling this happy.” She kissed Kirin and hugged her tightly. “Maybe I should lie down.”

  Silke stretched out on the long bench. Kirin picked up the discarded towel and draped it over Silke’s exquisite naked body.

  Silke closed her eyes, opened them slowly, and quickly closed them. “Would you mind trying to find my sunglasses?”

  Kirin tripped over her own feet to get to the bag next to the pilot’s seat. She was terrified something was wrong was Silke’s vision. Please let her be all right.

  She handed Silke the glasses.

  Silke slipped them over her eyes. “Much better, thanks. It’s easy to forget how bright the sun is on the water.” She turned her head and looked at Kirin. “Are you all right? You looked terrified.”

  “I . . . I’m scared that you might be losing more of your eyesight. Or worse . . .”

  Silke stuck her hand out and Kirin took it. “You’re so incredibly thoughtful and attentive. How did I ever find you?” She pulled Kirin’s hand to her lips and kissed it tenderly. “Did you ever have a moment, a magical sort of awareness where you knew instantly that your life would never be the same? Because I just did.”

  “Not really.” Kirin knelt beside her and stroked the wet hair from Silke’s forehead. “You think we should go back to the cottage? Maybe you should rest for a while.”

  “I really feel wonderful and I’d like to finish the tour of the lake, but I suppose you’d want me to put my clothes on.”

  Kirin laughed. “It’s a tough call, if it was up to me I would like nothing better than to stare brazenly at your magnificent body . . . but, I’d rather not share it with everyone.”

  Silke pulled her close for another soft, sweet, seductive kiss and the delicious warmth of her soft breasts. “Oh all right, maybe later. I feel okay, so if you’ll toss me my clothes, we can continue the tour.”

  Kirin groaned and fell back on the boat floor. A stunning sea gull landed on the windscreen and chirped musically.

  Silke laughed. “Look who’s here to give us a blessing.”

  Kirin shook her head. “I’m not sure . . .”

  “The beautiful carved bird from Belize?”

  Chapter Forty-six

  THE LODGE DINING room was buzzing with conversation by the time they arrived. A Happy 50th Anniversary banner hung over the fieldstone fireplace. Rustic beams supported a vaulted ceiling. Yellowed pine tables and chairs lent a 1940’s ambiance. Silke hung back and let Kirin navigate through the guests, mostly older folk who had probably known the Fosters for years. A handful of young families lingered from the dinner crowd. Kirin, a natural schmoozer, seemed to know many of the older guests.

  They finally found Kirin’s parents near the large buffet table covered with pastries and platters of appetizers.

  “We made it,” Kirin said, giving each a hug. “I can’t believe how many people are here. You guys must know everyone.”

  Her father leaned over. “When you spend a couple months up here every year for a hundred years, you get to know people.”

  “Point taken. It just seems like kids my age I met up with here don’t come back much,” Kirin said. “When they do, I can hardly remember them.”

  “I agree. Your generation is certainly much busier.” Her dad waved at someone shouting his name. “I’ll catch up with you later.” He went to join another group of well-wishers.

  “Just one more reason to be disappointed in me,” Kirin said.

  Her mom frowned. “Honey, don’t take that personally. Your dad is still having a tough time letting go of you kids. Oh, excuse me, that’s Mrs. Cummings. Why don’t you and Silke get something to drink?” She kissed Kirin’s cheek and stepped away.

  “You didn’t mention why your sister Caitlin isn’t here,” Silke said. “In fact, you’ve never talked about her.”

  Kirin steered her toward the bar. “It’s kind of a long story that I’ll tell you someday. Fact is, my sister got in some trouble a long time ago, and my folks refused to bail her out. She’s more or less written all of us off. Kevin keeps trying, but I’ve only talked to her maybe once or twice a year. She’s always the elephant in the room.”

  Silke found a seat at a table near the staircase. From that vantage point, she could see nearly the whole room. Kirin stood with her brother, Kevin, by the cake table. Their resemblance was uncanny. Both had dark wavy hair, engaging smiles, and an easy laughter. Kevin’s wife, Brittany, stood with her mother-in-law, shaking hands with guests. Silke sipped her wine and marveled at the warm acceptance these near strangers had offered.

  For so many years, she had felt like an appendage to Rachel and lately, an annoyance. Without realizing, she had begun to withdraw from the very people who could nurture her—her family. She smiled and returned a wave from Kirin.

  The last twenty-four hours had brought clarity, not only to her situation and her feelings about Kirin, but apparently to her eyesight. It was too soon to say anything, but the episode on the lake surprised her. Even now, she hardly dared to believe that some of her peripheral vision had returned. While they were in the boat, she thought it was just an optical illusion because of the sun. Ever since they got back, little flashes of vision were clearer and longer lasting.

  Her mind insisted on a healthy dose of skepticism, so she’d wait until she could see her doctor. But since the first kaleidoscopic flashes, her vision had improved. Along with it, her attraction and desire she felt for Kirin grew as well. Now, it consumed her.

  She jumped when Kirin came up behind her. “Where did you come from?”

  “I had to take some things out to the kitchen and I missed you.” Kirin pulled a chair closer and sat down. “You look pretty content. Are you having a good time?”

  Silke felt her heart swell, and her eyes misted with sheer joy. “I don’t remember the last time I went this many hours without the cold-fist of fear in my gut. I’m glad you brought me along to meet your family. It’s helped me to take stock of my own life and realize what’s important.”

  Kirin beamed. “And to which category do I belong?”

  Silke leaned as close as she dared. “Definitely family—and I’d like to make that close family.”

  Kirin held her gaze and her eyes darkened slightly. “Does that mean you’ve made a decision about our relationship?”

  Silke nodded, smiling. “Hours ago. I’d be crazy to let you go or to make us wait any longer. There is no going back for me, ever. Maybe it’s foolish and maybe we’ll both regret
jumping into something, but no one has ever made me feel as appreciated as you do. I’m through being a victim.”

  Kirin looked down and blushed adorably. “You have no idea what that means to me.” She looked up. “You’re certain?”

  “Hey, you guys. I brought you some cake before those grumpy old fishermen eat it all. Kier, you love this lemon stuff.” Kevin slid two paper plates across the table and sat on the opposite side. “So, Silke. Have you enjoyed our little senior celebration of life when you’ve been married for a hundred years?”

  Silke laughed. Kevin was four years older than Kirin but more playful. “I really have. I was just telling Kirin how much it’s meant be invited to your family celebration.”

  “We’re glad you could come. For one thing, Kirin had no excuse to blow us off this year and for another, I’m glad she finally found someone interesting to hang out with.”

  Kirin sat up and opened her mouth.

  Kevin flashed her a grin. “Just kidding. Personally, Dad and I really liked Melissa. Mom did the eye rolling.”

  Kirin leaned over the table. “Don’t you have to be somewhere?”

  He threw his hands up in surrender. “As a matter of fact, dear sister, I need to take Brittany back to the cabin to get her feet up.” He put his hand to the face in a theatrical aside. “First trimester swelling. You know. See guys tomorrow for breakfast?”

  Silke waved. “Thanks, Kevin.” She turned to Kirin. “So, going to be an auntie?”

  “I didn’t know until earlier when my mom told me the secret,” Kirin said. “They don’t want to make an announcement because Brittany has been pretty sick. You know, I’m a little excited about having some cute little Foster to spoil.”

  Silke saw Kirin’s mother waving in their direction. “I think your mom needs you for something. Maybe I should say goodnight and head back to the cottage.”

  “I’m sorry for the interruptions,” Kirin said. “I think you know I’d like to continue this conversation. Will you wait for me?”

  Silke smiled at Kirin’s distressed expression. “Of course, I will. I’m not going to change my mind. Take your time and tell your folks I’ll see them in morning.”

  Kirin disappeared into the crowd of laughing strangers, which thinned as the hour got later. A sense of relief along with a sweet melancholy coiled around Silke’s heart. It had taken weeks to battle the demons within, ignore the warning voices, and trust her heart. She sighed. Happily being able to escape into her work provided a buffer to the overwhelming despair that entombed her. No matter how dark it got, Kirin had shown up to encourage and support her.

  Cool night air filled her lungs as she pushed open the screen door of the lodge. The combination of fresh pine and contamination-free air was dizzying. She grabbed the rustic wood railing and gave herself over to the sense of freedom. It felt good, and she giggled. Through the screen door, the wafting air smelled of fried food, pipe smoke, and bug spray. She hoped the memory of this summer day and night would stay as vivid forever.

  Once safely back in the cabin, Silke opened the doors and windows to banish the stuffiness. The sensuous warmth and darkness created a sense of anticipation. She shivered. Just as it had that afternoon in the boat, her physical desire reawakened.

  She shed her clothes and stood naked in the small room lit only by the dim bathroom light. She turned slowly, relishing the wisps of night air teasing her skin, and touched her lips. She vibrated with a new exhilaration and desire.

  Chapter Forty-seven

  KIRIN SMILED, NODDED, and looked at her watch for the hundredth time. She worried that Silke got to the cabin safely and blamed herself for not insisting on walking her back. Only a handful of guests lingered, recounting stories of yesteryear.

  “Mom, why don’t you let me finish up and you take Dad back to the cabin?” she said.

  “I’ll just say goodnight to everyone. Why don’t you take your dad back. He’s tired and won’t admit it.” Her mom kissed Kirin’s cheek and rejoined a group standing nearby.

  She found her father seated in an Adirondack rocker near the door. He rocked slowly with his head back and his eyes closed. “Hey, Dad. I’m heading back to the cabin. Would you like to walk with me? Mom said she’d be along in a minute.” She knew better than to suggest that her mother had asked her to take him back.

  They strolled along the wooded path, enjoying the quiet. Her dad wasn’t known for small talk so when he did speak, she listened.

  “Fifty years is a long time to be with one woman. It’s also plenty of time to realize I made a damn fine choice.” He chuckled. “There sure were some rough spots where we both had second thoughts, but somehow you just know it’ll work and you keep going. You learn to sort out what’s important and what to discard. I can proudly say that I love your mother even more than I did the day I married her. Forging a relationship, just like steel, comes from high temperatures and hammering.”

  Kirin thought about the metaphor as they continued to the cabin.

  Just before they got to the door, he turned. “Your mother and I weren’t happy when you decided to follow that actress back to California, and I can’t honestly say I fully understand your life, but I do want you to be happy. You seem very fond of Ms. Dyson, and it appears she feels the same way.” He smiled in the dim light from inside. “I think she’s a good match for you, so you may want to think about this seriously.”

  She hugged him a little tighter than usual. “Thanks. Goodnight, Dad.”

  Kirin followed the path down toward the lake and the smaller Traveler’s cottage. The dappled surface of the lake was visible through a small opening in the towering pines, which obscured much of the starlit sky. As she got closer, she saw the source of the golden reflection that flickered between the trees. Across the bay, the dancing flames of a bonfire lit up the darkness. It was a primitive ritual that people celebrated even in modern times.

  She smiled as she remembered surprising Silke with the picnic dinner at the North Point Lighthouse. Silke had grown into a metaphorical beacon for her.

  The cabin was dark except for a dim light from the bathroom that outlined Silke’s sleeping body, and a wave of disappointment washed over her. She wished she’d come back sooner. Silke’s reddish-blond hair hung across her shoulder as she lay curled on her side. Instead of stroking the soft waves, she quietly slipped into the bathroom.

  After a few minutes, Kirin went back outside and sat on the steps. Thoughts and concerns catapulted across her consciousness. Her father’s words vied with the voices of her inner critic warning her of making another mistake and above all that, the clanging doubts about her job. Was she insane to consider a long-term relationship when she wasn’t sure of her job?

  After all, Silke was a successful artist and teacher. She would likely win the NEA grant and move to Belize to pursue her art career. What chance would they have then? Besides, the ugly mess with Rachel wounded her badly. This might not be the best choice for her.

  She reached behind her into the small cooler from the boat trip. Two bottles of water lay in the still cool container. She twisted off the cap of one of the bottles and took a sip.

  The bonfire had dimmed and the wind shifted to the east bringing the sweet tang of burning pine branches her way. High above, the whishing sounds of the tree boughs and needles combined with intermittent waves of laughter from across the lake to make the symphony of the night forest complete. Crickets, frogs, and night birds harmonized in a perfect chorus. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

  The creak of the screen door broke the spell.

  “Are you okay?” Silke’s soft voice brought Kirin into the moment.

  Kirin looked back at Silke. “I’m fine. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  Silke sat beside her, wrapped in a blanket. “I thought I heard you come in, then I must have drifted off. I’m sorry. I tried to stay up, but I guess I had too much sun and fun today.”

  “I thought I was ready for bed, but after I washed up, I rea
lized my head was still making too much noise,” Kirin said. “I decided I’d just spend a few minutes with the night and the lake. I forgot how pretty is up here. Can you see the bonfire over there?”

  “Yes,” Silke said. “Suppose it’s a party of some sort?”

  As they watched the flickering reflection, the moon peeked over the horizon. Kirin wrapped her arm around Silke and pulled her closer. “This is perfect.”

  Silke cuddled closer and took Kirin’s hand. “I’m so happy you invited me to share this time with you and your family.”

  Kirin rested her cheek on Silke’s head and inhaled the familiar warm smell. “They like you very much.”