Doctor L

by Lilian Monroe

  Her mouth drops open and I can see a torrent of emotions pass across her face. She always was easy to read.

  ‘I.. that’s great, Dave. Really great.” Her face settles on a smile and her shoulders relax downwards. I realise I’ve been clenching my fists and I let them relax as she smiles at me. I can still feel my cock, pressed against the fabric of my pants as Izzy moves closer towards me. "He’ll love that, there’s only so much company I can give him.”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I pause. “I guess I didn’t realise how sick he was. I don’t want to regret not being here for him.”

  “That’s really great of you, Dave. Really great.” She smiles again and my cock twitches. I shift my weight and turn to my bag, picking it up off the hardwood floors.

  “Do you need any help? With your bags or finding your room?” She stops herself and blushes. She giggles and I feel a strange sensation pass through my chest. “I guess you probably know your way around better than I do.”

  “Probably, yeah.” I can’t help but grin. She smiles tentatively at me and suddenly I realise who she is again and my smile fades. I can’t get familiar with her! She’s Izzy Daniels! She is the one person in this world that I can’t stand, that fills my veins with white hot anger and betrayal. Or, she used to anyways, before I saw her standing right in front of me. I brush past her. “Where is he anyways?”

  “Out back,” she replies. I glance back as I turn towards the staircase and see her face fall as she turns away from me. She sensed the change in my mood. Good. We don’t want to be getting too comfortable with each other. This is temporary, only for a few weeks. We can be civil to each other, nothing more and nothing less.

  I climb the stairs and walk down the hallway towards my old room. It smells slightly stale, but everything is exactly as I left it. I put my bag down and throw open the window, laying down on my old bed. Back home again.

  I sigh and close my eyes. Izzy’s face appears in my head, he way her chin dipped down when she giggled and blushed. My cock is still half-hard in my pants, ever since the minute she walked down the hallway towards me.

  This is bad.

  This is very bad.

  Why is my body acting like this? I shouldn’t be attracted to her at all! I’ve spent the last ten years hating the very thought of her, knowing that she is the reason that my family is now gone and I’m alone in the world. Why am I suddenly attracted to her?!

  I mean, apart from the obvious. She’s a goddamn bombshell, after all.

  But this is wrong. It’s like my body is reverting back to my hormonal teenage years whenever a pretty girl walks near me. Not that Izzy Daniels is just a pretty girl. She’s so much more than pretty, she’s got almost an aura around her.

  I close my eyes and lay back in my old bed. I need to get my head straight and get myself together. We’re going to be seeing more of each other, and the last thing I need right now is for my cock to be ruling my head. My priorities need to be finding a wife and spending time with Pop. Izzy Daniels doesn’t need to be a part of that except to make sure Pop is taking his medication and is as healthy as he can be for as long as possible.

  That’s the most important thing. I can’t forget that, and I can’t let the either past or my cock cloud my judgement.

  Chapter 10 - Izzy

  Oh. My. God.

  I shuffle to the bathroom and close the door behind me. My breath is ragged as I lean against the closed door with my eyes closed. I can feel my chest rising and falling as I try to suck air into my lungs. I feel like there’s not enough oxygen in the world to make me feel normal again. I rush forward and turn on the tap, splashing water over my face.

  He’s moving in?! He’s here??

  I can’t do this. I’ll have to quit, ask for a transfer, tell my boss everything. It’s a conflict of interests. I can’t do it.

  I take a deep breath and look at my self in the mirror. The water is dripping down my chin and I reach for the hand towel to pat myself dry. I take a deep breath and wipe the water from my face. I place my hands on the edge of the sink and take two deep breaths.

  I have to do this. For me, for Jess. If I quit I won’t be able to put food on the table or keep a roof over our heads. If I tell my boss everything and ask for a transfer I’ll be giving up my chance to a promotion and a raise for the foreseeable future. They were very clear that I had to do well in this placement for any chance of moving up. I need to stay here and just deal with this.

  With another deep breath, I think of Dave.

  It’s great, it really is. He should be spending time with Arthur. We all know he doesn’t have much time left, so Dave is doing the right thing.

  He’s doing the right thing.

  We both know it. Arthur will be happy.

  But why does the right thing have to be so damn difficult for me?! I’m going to have to see him every single day!! This is my worst nightmare!

  I take a deep breath. I need to set my own feelings aside and be a professional. Being an in-home carer means sometimes being placed in uncomfortable situations. It’s seeing people at their most intimate, their most comfortable and sometimes at their worst. This is part of the job. I just need to draw on my experience and be a professional about this.

  I square my shoulders and pat my hair down and straightening my uniform before turning around and opening the door. I can do this. I’ll go back out there and stay out of the way, just seeing Arthur when I have to and making sure to avoid Dave whenever I can. It’s a big house.

  Turning towards the kitchen, I take a few steps before I hear his voice behind me. So much for keeping my distance.

  “Izzy,” he says. The deep, smooth notes of his voice reverberate through me and I feel a thrill go down my spine. I freeze, and turn slowly towards him. He’s changed into a simple white t-shirt and jeans and he’s standing in the hallway in front of me. He takes up almost the entire width of it with his broad shoulders. I see him standing there, towering over me and I wonder what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped around me.

  “Davey,” I almost whisper. He takes a step towards me.

  “Listen, I know we don’t necessarily have the most pleasant past.” He pauses, his blue eyes boring into me. I want to take a step back, to shrink into nothing but I stand my ground. I’m simultaneously scared and excited and nervous. “We’re both going to be here, seeing each other. So I thought we should just have a talk… to clear the air.”

  I nod and swallow, feeling a lump in my throat. “Of course, Dave. I just want to do my job, I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

  “That’s rich, coming from you,” he spits. His aggressiveness shocks me. I feel the words cut through me like a dagger and I feel my eyes start to sting with tears. I open my mouth but no words come out. His eyes are blazing, shooting flames at me as he watches me cower in front of him. How can I explain to him what really happened that day!?

  “Let’s just stay out of each other’s way, alright?” His voice is a low growl, almost a threat. I don’t have any words, so all I do is nod. I swallow again.

  “Yeah, of course. Sounds good,” I squeak.

  He nods and I step out of the way as he stalks past me towards the back of he house. As soon as I hear the back door close I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I blink back the tears that have gathered in my eyes and I smooth my sweaty palms down on the front of my uniform.

  He hates me.

  He hates me so much it hurts, I can see it in his eyes.

  I finally let the tears fall from my eyes and turn back towards the bathroom to wash my face.

  He hates me, but that’s ok. It’ll have to be ok for the next little while. I have to put all this aside and remember that I’m just here to give his grandfather the best care I can. Dave is right, we’ll just stay out of each other’s way and put Arthur first.

  Chapter 11 - Dave

  “Pop!” I call out as I walk out to the back patio. He turns his white he
ad towards me and a smile cracks open on his face.

  “Davey, boy, come over here,” he waves me over. He’s sitting in the sun with a blanket on his lap and I feel a pang in my heart again as I see the frail shell of the man I once knew. I take a seat next to him and smile.

  “I brought my bags up to my old room. It still looks exactly the same.”

  “Wouldn’t let anyone touch it. It’ll always be your room, you know that.”

  I smile as my chest tightens around my heart. It’s nice to be here with Pop but every time I look at him I’m reminded of how sick he is. I’m not sure I can do this. Pop turns towards me.

  “Have you given any thought to what we talked about yesterday?”

  “To the wife thing? I mean, yeah.” I pause. “Pop, where the hell am I going to find a wife?! I don’t even date.”

  Pop nods and is quiet for a long moment. His eyes drift out to the back of the garden, which extends into a deep wooded area. There’s an autumn chill in the air. Finally Pop inhales and looks at me again. He speaks gently but very firmly.

  “If you don’t marry before I go, you’ll lose most of it. Even the house is tied up in it. It’ll have to go up in an estate sale.” He leans towards me. “You don’t have much time Dave.”

  My chest tightens some more and I feel a pain pass through my whole body. I’m not sure I can do this. Suddenly I feel anger bubbling up from my stomach and explode through my chest.

  “Pop! What the fuck am I supposed to do?! I can’t do this! I don’t want you to go! The last thing I want to think about right now is some wedding! This is so fucked up!”

  There’s something wet on my cheeks and I realise I’m crying. Pop’s eyes soften and he reaches over to put a hand on my arm. It touches the same spot that Izzy’s hand was on yesterday and a comforting warmth spreads through me.

  “There’s nothing easy about this, Davey. I’m proud of you, of everything you’ve accomplished and everything you’ve overcome. I know it hasn’t been easy for you. But son,” he looks at me straight in the eyes. “I don’t want you to lose everything our family has worked for just because you don’t want me to die. I’m dying, David. And you need to get married before that happens.”

  My shoulders shake and I feel like my body is not my own. Tears stream down my face and I try to stop them but they just keep coming and coming and coming.

  He’s dying. His crippled old hand squeezes my forearm with a strength that surprises me and I try to pull myself together. Pop continues.

  “I’ve spoken to the lawyer,” he says. “He’s drafting up a prenup. It’ll all be arranged. You just need to find the girl. Time is of the essence now, so we can get the lawyer to draft up another contract for her to sign for the duration of your arrangement.”

  “Pop,” I start, frowning. “Yesterday you were talking about love being the most important thing and now you’re saying… are you saying I should just marry someone for the sake of it? What.. what are you talking about?”

  This isn’t making any sense. Pop pulls his hand away and stares off into the woods again. His eyes mist over and he leans back in his chair.

  “Love is the most important thing. I still believe that. But death is inevitable, and sometimes we have to take care of things in a roundabout way.”

  The two of us stay silent for a long while. The cogs in my head are spinning out of control. This is completely surreal. He wants me to get married to save the estate. He’s basically telling me it doesn’t matter who, but he’s saying it in such a cryptic way. I wish he would just speak plainly.

  Who could I possibly ask?! I could Google it, I guess? Brides for hire? How could I trust someone with something like this? And how long would I have to stay married?? What if I met someone I actually wanted to marry and then I had to tell them I was already married?!?! What kind of person am I that I’m actually considering this?

  There is one face that jumps into my head, but I shake the thought away. I’m not going down that road. Why would I even think that?!

  I’m pulled out of my chaotic thoughts when Pop starts talking again.

  “When the accident happened, I thought I’d lost you. You stopped talking, you stopped smiling, you stopped laughing. The light went from your eyes. Everyone used to tell me to just give you time, that you’d been through so much trauma and you needed to heal. I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t just leave you be.” His voice cracks.

  “That’s when you started taking me camping again.”

  “There’s peace in stillness. It’s always helped me to get out of the city and into nature. You were so young,” his voice trails off. He turns his head and looks at me, staring at me like never before. “We’d go away but I always brought you back here. Back home, Davey. Losing this place would be losing the one piece of the family that will be left when I’m gone.”

  My chest tightens and a lump forms in my throat. I nod.

  “I get it, Pop. I know. I don’t want to let it go. I’ll find a way.”

  “I could kill that mother of yours for writing a will like that,” he says with a grin. “She always was a troublemaker.”

  He looks at me and starts laughing. I feel the tension leave my body as the laughter escapes my lips, and suddenly we’re leaning on each other laughing with tears streaming down our eyes again. This time it feels good to laugh and cry with him. In this moment, I know that moving back home was the right thing to do, even if it means I have to see Izzy Daniels every day.

  We sit up and I sigh, inhaling the fresh colder into my lungs. I guess I’m getting married.

  “Looks like all I need is a woman to agree to marry me and I’ll be all set,” I say with a grin. Pop laughs and I shake my head, wondering how it’s come to this.

  Chapter 12 - Izzy

  I take a deep breath and brace myself before opening the back door. I have a small tray with Arthur’s medication on it. I can see the back of Dave’s head through the window. He and Arthur are laughing about something.

  I guess from now on I’ll be feeling like I’m interrupting their time together every time I have to do my job. That’s ok, I tell myself. I’m just here to take care of Arthur.

  “Here’s a woman that would love to marry you, I’m sure!” Arthur calls out when he sees me walk through the door.

  My cheeks start to burn. Is he making fun of me? Why would I want to marry Dave? Surely he hasn’t told Dave the whole story about the accident? Unless… unless Dave already knew and now the two of them are just having a laugh at my expense, like I’m some damsel in distress that needs to be rescued once again.

  I feel the blood start to pump in my veins as the anger flares up inside me. Dave doesn’t even know the whole story! If he did, he’d never treat me the way he’s treating me now. If he does, than he’s a different person than I thought he was. A worse person. I struggle to keep my face neutral as I walk up to the two of them.

  Dave says nothing as I approach and it looks like he’s making a point not to look at me. I put the tray down beside Arthur and smile at him.

  “Now Arthur, we’ve talked about this,” I say with my lips forced into a grin. “You know I’m not the marrying type. Too stubborn and too difficult. I’d be an awful wife.”

  Arthur chuckles. “Awful wife, maybe. But good woman.” He winks and I hold out a glass of water. We’re used to each other now, and he knows what he needs to do. I hold out the medication for him and he takes it expertly. Once it’s done, I gather my things and stand up.

  “You need anything else? I won’t need to check your vitals for four hours now so you have some time without me.”

  “Nothing else, dear.” I turn to walk away when Arthur’s voice calls back. “Isabelle, wait. You and Davey know each other, don’t you? Why don’t you come and have a seat with us. Beats being locked up inside on a day like today.”

  “Oh, Arthur that’s ok, I’ve got lots to do today, I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

 
“Oh stop it,” Arthur says, calling my bluff. “When did you magically get busy in the afternoons? This is our time to chat and relax, remember?”

  I glance at Dave, who hasn’t moved at all since I’ve walked out. Arthur’s right, this was the time when we’d sit and talk to each other every day. We’d talk about life and love, we talked about Hannah and her parents and Dave. I told him how much I miss her and we shared stories about her. Arthur waves his hand and pats the seat next to him.

  “Alright,” I finally say, vowing to go inside at the first chance I get. I sit down and steal a glance towards Dave. His t-shirt is tugging against his biceps, and the sun is shining off him making him look like he’s almost glowing. I try to ignore the beating of my heart when he shifts his weight and his muscles ripple and move under his skin. I take a deep breath.

  “Beautiful day out,” I say, trying to fill the silence.

  “Gorgeous,” Arthur responds. “Soon it’ll be too cold to sit out here. Best to enjoy it while we can.”

  His words sound like they have a double meaning, like we should enjoy the sunshine while we can this year, and while we’re still here. His declining health adds gravity to everything he says. We sit in silence and I glance out towards the large gardens. I start feeling the hairs on my arms stand up and a funny kind of prickling down my spine. It feels like someone is watching me. I keep my eyes out towards the back of the garden until the temptation becomes too much, and I glance over at Dave. His blue eyes are trained on me, brow slightly furrowed as he stares me down.

  Our eyes lock and I can’t look away. He’s intense, almost too intense. It’s exciting to look at him and to be looked at by him. I can feel every inch of my skin heating up as he looks into my eyes like he’s searching for something. I shift my weight, suddenly uncomfortable, and I can feel every thread of clothing scratch against me like my nerve endings have suddenly gotten a million times more sensitive. My whole body is on fire. Dave’s eyes flick down my body and I feel the heat in my core burning hotter. I don’t want him to stop looking at me but it’s almost too much for me to handle.