Doctor L

by Lilian Monroe

  His eyes drift down my body, from my neck all the way down to the ground and then back up. He’s not trying to hide what he’s doing, and I can’t help but wish this uniform was more flattering. He doesn’t seem to care, the intensity of his stare makes me feel like I’m naked anyways.

  Finally his eyes find mine again and he glances towards the woods again. The moment passes and I let out a long, slow breath. The blood is thick and hot in my veins as my heart pumps it violently through my body. As soon as Dave looks away I feel like he’s taken a part of me with him.

  A few moments pass in silence and I try to think of an excuse to get up and leave the two of them alone.

  “Why aren’t you the marrying type?”

  His question surprises me. It takes a few seconds to realise he’s talking to me and not to Arthur as he stares off into the distance in front of him. He turns his head to stare at me again and my mouth is suddenly full of cotton. I lick my lips, trying to get a bit of moisture on them before I speak.

  “I’ve never seen a marriage work out that was worth the trouble it caused,” I answer. It’s the truth. My parents, any number of friends’ parents. Every married couple I’ve met is just thinly veiled dysfunction. I have enough dysfunction in my life without adding a failed marriage to the mix.

  The only exception to that rule was Hannah and Dave’s parents. Their marriage always seemed to be loving and strong. They always talked and laughed with each other and cared about their kids like there was nothing else that mattered in the world. I remember being so, so jealous of them. Whenever my mother would get into one of her moods and turn on me me I’d imagine Mrs Langley’s face and how she used to feed me and let me sleep over. My mother would hit me and scream at me and throw things at me, and I’d just pretend that Hannah and I were sisters, shutting out everything that was happening at home. The day they came to get me was the best and the worst day of my life, even to this day.

  I glance at Dave, who surprises me by breaking into a smile. His teeth are perfect and straight, and his whole face lights up as he starts to laugh.

  “That’s one thing we can agree on, Izzy,” he says, still laughing. “Marriage is definitely more trouble than it’s worth.” I smile tentatively, trying to ignore the spark in my core when I hear him say my name.

  “I’ll have to disagree with you two young kids,” Arthur says with a smile. I smile back. It would be nice to believe him.

  Chapter 13 - Dave

  This is crazy. I shouldn’t even be considering this. I look at her sitting next to my ailing grandfather, obviously uncomfortable but not wanting to upset him. She’s probably trying to think up an excuse to get up and leave the two of us alone. She glances from him to the garden and then to the sky. She avoids glancing at me, I note, as she wrings her hands and then smooths down her pants. I doubt she realises how much she’s fidgeting and for some reason I can’t look away.

  She reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and adjusts the collar of her shirt. The autumn sun is giving her skin an almost golden glow, highlighting the way her neck curves up to her jaw in a graceful arc.

  Izzy Daniels. I never thought I’d be sitting at my grandfather’s home considering her as a potential wife. Not after everything that happened. In my head I know it’s not her fault, but I can’t separate her from the rest of her family. When it happened I never wanted to see any of them again. And yet, here we are. I’m considering proposing to her. The irony is almost too much and I smile to myself. I glance at Pop and see him staring at me. His blue eyes are clear and clever. We exchange a glance for one, two, three seconds and then he looks over at Izzy.

  “Isabelle, how is your little sister doing?”

  I watch as Izzy’s whole demeanour changes in an instant. It’s like she forgets where she is, her face breaks into a smile and her shoulders relax.

  “She’s great, Arthur. Really great. She’s gotten into gymnastics and is developing what I like to call a healthy obsession for it.” She laughs and then pauses as if she has more to say but stops herself. Pop replies and the two of them fall into a comfortable conversation. It almost feels like I’m intruding on them, like she’s part of the family and I’m the outsider. I feel a twinge in my chest - is it jealousy? But as I watch them, watch Pop laugh and pat her on the arm I can’t help but feel like it’s good for her to be here. She has an easiness about her that I’d never have expected.

  How could I ask her something like this? It can’t be her. It shouldn’t be her. But at the same time, why not? Wouldn’t it be kind of perfect to pick a girl that I have zero chance of developing feelings for?

  I have enough hatred for her and her family to last me a thousand lifetimes. There is absolutely no risk of falling in love with Izzy Daniels. The more I think of it, the more I realise it’s actually kind of perfect! It could be a business transaction. No messiness, no confusion, no feelings. Cold, unemotional business. If she’s being honest, and she doesn’t see the sense in marriage, then she could probably see the sense in this kind of transaction.

  I need someone to be my wife, and I’m sure she could be convinced for the right price. Everyone has a price. I smile to myself again and lean back in the chair. My hands come up to comb through my hair as I think it through one more time.

  Would she even want to do this?

  Glancing over at her, I see her looking down at my torso. My shirt’s lifted up slightly when I ran my fingers through my hair and I reach down to pull it back down. She jumps slightly and glances away, towards the garden and then towards Pop, like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Cute.

  “I’m getting a bit cold,” she says. “I’m going to go inside and warm up a bit. You guys ok?”

  There it is - the excuse she’s worked so hard to find.

  “We’re fine, Isabelle,” Pop says. “You go warm yourself up.”

  She nods and stands up. I turn and watch her walk away, loving the way her uniform cups around her perky ass as her hips sway back and forth. I don’t even feel bad about checking her out now, I can freely admit to myself that she’s a knockout. When I think about her as a business partner it makes it a lot easier to push the animosity to the back of my head.

  “Beautiful girl,” Pop says as the door closes behind her. He’s read my mind. I grin.

  “Better than the last nurse you had,” I reply. Pop chuckles.

  “Good at her job as well,” he says. “Heart of gold.”

  I feel a sting in my core. I don’t have the heart to disagree with him. I know the two of them have talked about Hannah and my parents, about the accident. I don’t want to mention it, or explain how I just can’t let it go. Let Izzy work for him and make amends, if that’s what she’s trying to do. If it makes Pop happy then I’ll keep my mouth shut.

  Hell, if it makes Pop happy I’ll marry the girl to keep this house in the family. Thinking about it makes me grin. It’s twisted, it’s wrong, but I can’t get the thought out of my head now. I glance back towards the house, wondering how I’ll bring it up to her.

  This morning I was telling her to stay out of my way and now I’m thinking of marrying her. She’s going to think I’m out of my mind.

  Who knows, maybe I am.

  Chapter 14 - Izzy

  “My grandfather likes you.”

  I jump at the sound of his voice and spin on my heels. His broad body is silhouetted against the windows, making him look almost imposing. He dominates the room and it takes all my willpower to stand my ground. I gulp.

  “I like him too,” I respond, keeping my voice as steady as I can. People don’t usually have this effect on me.

  Dave nods and takes a step towards me. He’s looking at me curiously, like he’s trying to read me or find something out just by looking at me. It feels like a challenge, so I keep my eyes steady on his. There’s something new between us and it feels like it’s coming to a head.

  “I’ve spent the past ten years blaming
you for my family’s death,” he says suddenly. His voice is dark and low and it sends a cold shiver down my spine. I open my mouth but no words come out. What would I even say? If it hadn’t been for me, they wouldn’t have been in the car and my mother wouldn’t have done what she did. On some level it is my fault.

  My heart is pounding and I can’t focus on anything except the darkness in Dave’s eyes. I can’t explain, not now, not like this. I can’t tell him that my childhood was a living hell and I was moments away from being swooped up and saved when everything fell apart. Isn’t it easier to hate me forever than to open those old wounds again?

  “He’s dying,” Dave says again, glancing away from me and turning towards the windows. I pause before replying.

  “I know.”

  He turns back towards me and for a second I see the pain and sadness in his face before the hardness returns and his eyes turn ice blue again.

  “Marry me.”

  “What?” The shock almost knocks me back. A laugh erupts out of me. Is he on drugs? What is he talking about. “Yeah, ok Dave. Pass me your credit card, I’ll start shopping for a dress,” I tell him with a chuckle, eyebrows raised.

  He doesn’t laugh, just keeps staring at me with those pale blue eyes. After a couple seconds I frown.

  “What are you talking about, Dave?”

  “My grandfather is dying and I need to marry someone or else I lose all this,” he says, sweeping his arms around the room. “The house, the inheritance, everything my parents and grandparents worked for.”

  “How is that even possible?” I’m still frowning, trying to process what he’s saying. This must be some sort of sick prank. He wants me to say yes just to ridicule me… right?

  “My mother’s idea of a joke, I guess.” He sighs and takes a couple steps towards the small breakfast table. He pulls out a chair and collapses into it. “Look, I don’t like you. You represent everything that went wrong in my life. But if I’m going to marry someone out of necessity, I figure it’s better to marry someone where things won’t get messy.”

  He meets my eye and raises his arm, gesturing towards me. As if to say, so I chose you.

  His words sting, but I take a deep breath. He’s lost his family, and now his grandfather is sick. He’s vulnerable and obviously not thinking straight.

  “Dave,” I start gently, taking a step towards him. “Don’t you think that our situation is already messy? How could a marriage possibly be a good idea?”

  “I’ll pay you.”

  “I don’t want your money,” I respond. It’s true.

  “It’s not charity, Izzy,” he says, almost exasperated. “It’s business. I’ll pay you a hundred thousand dollars the day we get married and another hundred thousand three months later. Once all the assets are in my name we can divorce and part ways forever, no questions asked, no hard feelings.”

  “I… what… you want to give me two hundred thousand dollars to pretend to be your wife?” I can’t contain the shock in my voice. A hundred thoughts fly through my head. Jess, college, rent, food. I could set her up, I could provide for her. We could go see Cirque du Soleil, I could pay for real gymnastics lessons for her. My heart starts beating faster.

  “Well, not pretend to be my wife. You’d have to actually be my wife. Legally speaking,” Dave responds. His eyes are sharp and hard, staring into me. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

  “Dave, I…” How could I do this? He literally just told me that I represent everything that went wrong in his life. He told me he hates me! How could I spend any time with him, let alone three months as his wife with him without reliving the accident every single day?! How could he not think about it every day?! This is a terrible idea.

  “This is a terrible idea.”

  Dave grins. “Maybe. Probably. But think about it. If I ask someone else, they’ll think there’s something more to it, like I actually want to marry them or something. You know how I feel about you. That’s not going to change.”

  He pauses and I wince. Even after ten years, the thought of Dave having such hatred for me still hurts as much as the day it happened. He was almost my adoptive brother and now he despises the very thought of me. I open my mouth and close it again. It’s not worth re-opening those wounds.

  “Can’t you like… hire someone for this? A Russian bride or whatever?”

  Dave laughs. “Probably. But it has to be convincing otherwise I’ll get into all kinds of trouble with the estate, the lawyer was pretty clear about that. A childhood friend is a lot more realistic than a mail-order bride that doesn’t speak any English.”

  “Right.”

  My head is spinning. I don’t know what to say. I look at Dave as he sits on the chair, leaning his elbows on his knees and looking at me.

  “Are you being serious right now?” I ask, incredulous. “Is this for real?”

  “Completely, and yes.”

  We stare at each other in silence for a long moment. Two hundred thousand dollars. No more peanut butter sandwiches unless I actually want a peanut butter sandwich. I think of Jess’s face when I told her we probably couldn’t afford to go see the circus, and the way she offered her own lunch to me, and the way all her clothes have holes in them. I picture her walking onto a college campus in 6 or 7 years, bright-eyed with a world of opportunities in front of her.

  Dave is still sitting in front of me, immobile. I nod my head once.

  “Okay,” I say quietly. “I’ll do it.”

  Chapter 15 - Dave

  The minute she utters those words I know I can’t take it back. My stomach drops like a rock and the realisation of what I’ve just done - what she’s just agreed to - starts to sink in.

  I’m marrying Izzy Daniels.

  She stares at me for a long second and then bursts into laughter. It’s the same melodic joyful laugh as last night and my cock immediately springs to life in my pants. I watch her laugh and my lips tug upwards into a smile. She looks at me and shrugs without a word.

  “Hey, you only live once, right?”

  She shakes her head and turns towards the cupboard, pulling out a couple pill bottles and cross-checking them against a sheet. It must be almost time for Pop’s dinner and that means more medication. The sheer amount of pills he has to take every day amazes me. I’m glad Izzy is so organised.

  “So, uh, I’ll get my lawyer to draft up a contract,” I say to Izzy’s back. She turns her head towards me and once again I see how the curve of her neck dips down towards her collarbone. “Should be ready by the middle of the week. Then we can do it, uh, we can get… we can get married on Friday.”

  “Friday! But we don’t even have a venue! Or a caterer! Or a photographer!”

  “What?” Does she understand what this is?!

  She laughs again. “I’m joking, Dave, relax. Friday is good.” She pauses and cocks her head to the side. “One week from today we will be husband and wife.” Izzy turns towards me and leans against the counter. She continues.

  “That’s a bit strange, don’t you think? Who could have predicted this.”

  It almost seems like she’s talking to herself so I just grunt in return and get up off the chair. As soon as I get up I feel a wave of dizziness come over me and grab onto the table for support. In a split second Izzy is beside me, holding my elbow with her hand. The warmth of her skin against mine sends a shock through my body and I close my eyes, trying to let the wave of dizziness pass.

  “You ok?” She says softly. I open my eyes and look down at her. Her hazel eyes are full of worry, searching my face as she looks up at me. Her hand is still on my elbow, the other grabbing onto my wrist.

  “I’m fine, just stood up too fast.” I try to pull away but her grip on my arm tightens.

  “Sit.” It’s an order. I sit down.

  All of a sudden I see why my grandfather likes Izzy so much. She works quickly and efficiently but always has a complete sense of calm about her. Within seconds
a glass of water appears next to me and she’s putting cold towel over my forehead. I close my eyes and sigh, relishing the sensation as the coolness travels through me.

  “Arm out,” Izzy says. I open my eyes and watch as she checks my blood pressure, my pulse, she watches as I take long gulps of the water.

  “I’m fine, Izzy, really.”

  “Ok. If it happens again let me know, ok?”

  “Ok. Thanks.”

  She helps me stand up and I pull away from her, heading towards my bedroom. I ignore the worry and concern in her eyes and stalk out the door. My head is spinning again, but not because of the dizziness. It’s the way she was looking at me, the way she started taking care of me. It was so genuine. Like she really cared about me.

  I get to my bedroom and flop down onto the bed.

  I’m marrying Izzy Daniels.

  It doesn’t seem so perfect now. So un-messy. It seems very much like it could be a messy situation with her, especially if she keeps being so nice. I’ve spent so long hating the very thought of her that to see her as an actual person - an actual woman is not something I’m used to.

  I could take it back and find someone else. A mail-order bride, as Izzy suggested. I could put an ad in the paper, or ask a friend. But as soon as the thought enters my head I know I don’t have time. I can’t put an ad out because if the lawyers found out I married just to get this money then I’ll lose everything. And I can’t ask a friend because, well, who would I ask?

  It has to be Izzy.

  And a small voice at the back of my head tells me that maybe I want it to be her. As soon as the thought enters my head I push it right back. It has to be her because it makes the most sense, and it’s a sound business decision. Nothing more.