Heartbeat

by Ellis, Tara

  It took a second before I opened the door. I was looking a complete mess with a black hair bonnet over my head and wearing an oversized worn out t-shirt.

  As soon as I opened the door, Harris looked relieved.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked while surveying him. He was out of uniform wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt.

  “You didn’t respond to my texts, Kesha. I got concerned. Not to mention, you have a crazy ex.”

  I sighed because I should have known Harris would have popped up over my house if I ignored him for too long.

  “Sorry,” was all I could say. I stepped aside and asked, “Would you like to come in?”

  He looked like he was debating with the idea before walking inside of my condo. “You were sleeping?” He asked as if he couldn’t tell by my appearance.

  I looked at the time on my stove. It was past 11. “Yeah, I usually am around this time.”

  He chuckled. “Well, I called three times before hopping in my car and heading over.”

  Three times? I must have been knocked out because I didn’t hear my phone ring once. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before offering him one.

  He declined, but I caught him staring at me as I walked back into the living area. I sat across from him on the couch and drank the water like I was dehydrated.

  “You didn’t have to drive all the way out here, but I appreciate you for doing so.”

  He smiled at me, “If I knew all I had to do was pop up at your house to get you to talk to me, I would have done so days ago.”

  Heat rushed to my cheeks. I knew I was wrong for ignoring him, I didn’t have any excuse so I didn’t even say anything back to him.

  He sat across from me staring at me, making me question the reason I was ignoring him in the first place. “I like you, Kesha. But I don’t play games. If I’m coming on too strong, or you’re not interested, let me know. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”

  I should have told him. I should have just let him know that I wasn’t interested. But as I sat across from him I knew it would have been a lie if I said so. And for some reason, I couldn’t look him in his eyes and lie to him.

  “It’s not that I’m not interested…” I let my voice trail off while I searched for the right words to say to him. “I’m just not trying to get hurt.”

  He got up from the couch and walked over to me. My breath got caught up in my throat as he sat next to me and took my face in his hands. “Kesha, I’m not trying to hurt you. Just give me the chance to show you what I’m about.”

  I didn’t like the way my resolve was melting at his touch. I didn’t know if Harris was going to be another disappointment, but I couldn’t worry about that as he pressed his lips against mine. He softly parted my lips with his tongue and before I knew it, he had me laid out on my couch with his body on top of mine.

  It’d been a while since I’d had sex and my body was reacting to Harris as if it had been years. My legs parted and allowed room for his body. I kissed him back and allowed his kisses to fall to my neck and before I knew it, my bonnet was on the floor and his hands were tangled up in my hair.

  He laughed suddenly breaking the heat and passion that was radiating off both of us. “I swear, I didn’t come over here for this,” he said.

  I gave him a side eye but for some reason I believed him. And for reasons beyond me, I wanted him. He sat up and adjusted his clothes while I ran my hands through my hair. He stood up and headed for the door. I followed him, not wanting him to leave but refusing to protest.

  “I’m gonna call you in the morning and check on you, Kesha. Answer the call, ok?”

  I nodded, knowing none of his calls would go unanswered now.

  Amir

  Charlie smiled at me and I forgot what I was even saying. Damn, this chick had a crazy effect on me. I stuttered as I watched ice cream fall on her bottom lip and onto her chin. When she reached her tongue to lick up the ice cream, I couldn’t help but wonder what else she could do with her tongue.

  “Why you lookin’ at me like that?” She asked although she knew full well what she was doing.

  All I could do was shake my head and laugh. I looked away from her and ate my own ice cream. This was the third time this week we’d met up at the ice cream parlor. I found myself looking forward to the butter pecan ice cream like a muthafucka’ when before, I could count on my hand how many times I’d eaten ice cream in my life.. The ice cream was just ok, but spending the time with Charlie was everything.

  I’d been feeling like shit for the last week because I’d started this external beam radiation treatment that Dr. Johnson said was the best option. I trusted him and would have damn near done anything he suggested because I could tell the man knew exactly what he was doing. But the side effects to the treatment had me feeling like shit. But every time I met up with Charlie, it was like nothing was going on with me. And I liked being able to just forget about all this cancer shit.

  She sat closer up under me and sighed. “You should come to my place tonight.”

  I had to pull away and get a good look at her. We’d been dealing with each other for a little while now, but we always met up at my apartment. That didn’t bother me though cause I didn’t even want to go to the house she shared with her husband.

  “Stop playing, Charlie.”

  She gave me a shy smile and seductively licked her ice cream again. “I’m serious.”

  “What I look like layin’ up in another nigga’s house?”

  Her brows furrowed. “First of all, that’s my house. Second of all, he up and moved out once he got them divorce papers at his job.”

  I was shocked as hell but decided not to show it. I made sure I steered clear of asking Charlie anything about her husband and she kept information about him to the minimum, so I had no idea she’d served the nigga with divorce papers. I know I was dead ass wrong, but for some reason, that made me feel hopeful about our situation. Charlie wasn’t the type of chick you just fucked around with, she was wife material and before meeting her, I never ever thought that way about no woman.

  “You had that nigga served at his job” I laughed.

  She nodded. “All I wish is I could have been a fly on the wall when he got them.”

  I still didn’t feel 100% about spending time at the house she spent with another man, but to be real, if she asked me to walk across town barefoot, I would have done it. “Ok, what time you thinkin’ bout meeting up?”

  She gave me that shy smile that made me feel all funny on the inside. “I was thinkin’ about eight. And you can finally put those cooking skills you always bragging about to work.”

  I rubbed my goatee thinking about all the things I could cook for Charlie. I was sure she had some ol’ gourmet ass kitchen in that big ass house of hers. I wanted to impress her. Damn, I hated that I wanted to impress her so bad. I hated the effect she had on me. That was how niggas got caught up and I damn sure wasn’t trying to get caught up. Not until her divorce was final, not until I was cancer free.

  ❤❤❤❤❤

  “Thank you, Mr. Rover. I really like what you have done here.” Jamison Mitchell looked around the office space and by the huge smile on his face I knew he liked the job I’d done.

  He was my first, real, construction gig back here in Dallas. I’d bid extremely low on the job in hopes he’d hire me out of all the other construction companies that were there bidding on the same job. I had the lowest bid because I was desperate for the work, and of course he’d hired me. He knew he got a hell of a steal on the price he paid for the amount of work I had to do on the office space. After paying my cousin for his help on the project, I would have enough to cover rent for the next couple of months so that was one less thing I would have to worry about.

  I refused to ask my parents for any help. It was bad enough they were so worried about a nigga and this cancer shit, I wasn’t going to let my financial issues be another problem they would have to worry about.


  I shook the fat white man’s hand although I really didn’t want to. He was smiling at me like he knew he’d just got over on me. I took the check and placed it in my wallet before turning to walk out the door.

  “Mr. Rover, I have another space downtown that needs work.” He called after me. “It needs more work than this place, though.”

  I sighed and turned around to face him. If he planned on getting another low-ball bid, I was going to have a surprise for his fat ass. I wasn’t going to work my ass off for a little bit of nothing, a second time around.

  “Okay,” was all I said.

  “I was hoping I could hire your team again. You guys worked so proficiently, I couldn’t imagine hiring another crew.”

  “What all does the space need done?”

  He ran off a list of things he’d liked done to the small building while I mentally calculated all the work that was involved.

  “I understand this will cost me a lot more than this space had.” He said. “I’m willing to pay you what your worth.”

  I smiled for the first time since talking to him. “Ok, I’ll go take a look at the place tomorrow and write up a quote for you.”

  He reached his hand out for another handshake. “Thanks again, Mr. Rover.”

  “No problem,” I said after shaking his hand and walking out of the door. Damn, this day was getting better and better. I hopped in my car and headed home to shower before going to Charlie’s house.

  I pulled up in front of her house a little earlier than she’d said. Her husband wasn’t living there anymore so I figured it shouldn’t have been a problem.

  I rang the doorbell while looking around at the immaculate neighborhood. My car stuck out looking like a piece of shit in front of her driveway. It was just another shattering reminder that I didn’t fit in this chick’s life.

  She came to the door wearing a blue maxi dress that hugged her full hips. She knew exactly what she was doing wearing something like that. She reached out and gave me a hug and she smelled fruity, like some of that Bath and Body Works stuff. “You’re early. Come on in.”

  I closed the door behind me and followed her. I briefly looked around but my attention was really caught on the way her booty bounced in that dress with every step she took. Damn, she was fine.

  She sat down on the couch and tossed me the remote control. “So, what you cooking me?”

  I looked around her huge ass living room. It looked like some shit that would be on TV, or in a magazine. She was definitely bossed up and I don’t know why that made me feel like less of a man, but it did.

  I sat down on the loveseat across from her and nervously rubbed my hands together. I was so out of my element in her place. “I dunno. What you got a taste for?”

  She gave me a sultry smile so I knew something nasty was about to come out of her mouth. “Well, what I got a taste for, can’t be cooked.”

  “If that’s all you wanted me to come over for, we can do that right now.” I stood up from the loveseat and walked over to her.

  She put both of her hands up to protest. “No, no, no. I really am hungry. Let’s save that for dessert.”

  My eyes roamed around the living area again. Her eyes followed mine and she jumped up to slam a picture frame over.

  “I thought I threw all these photos away,” she said. “I don’t want shit in my house reminding me of the biggest mistake I made in my life.”

  I shrugged and headed to her big ass kitchen. My assumption was right, her kitchen was almost the size of my apartment. It looked like something on one of those cooking channels. I opened a few of the cabinets and saw she had all kinds of seasonings and spices.

  “So, what you gonna cook?’” She was on my heels watching me with expectant eyes.

  I opened her refrigerator and curled my face. “Damn, you ain’t got nothing in here.”

  “Hey now. You supposed to be cooking for me. I didn’t know I was supposed to be supplying the ingredients. You shudda’ stopped by the grocery store before you came over. ”

  “I damn sure should have. I can’t cook nothin’ with this shit in here.” I pulled out a carton of soy milk and held it up. “What kinda’ black person drinks this shit?”

  “Shut up,” she yanked the carton out of my hand and put it back in the refrigerator.

  I pulled out an onion, some green peppers, and a carton of butter. “I said I can cook, I didn’t say I could create miracles.”

  I pulled open the freezer of the refrigerator and scanned the frozen meats she had, which were few. “Yo’ ass don’t cook, do you?”

  “Yes, I do cook,” she said defensively. “I just haven’t been grocery shopping since you been taking me out to eat so much.”

  “Yeah, I got yo’ ass spoiled.” I noticed a package of steak and smiled, “Jackpot!”

  “Oh, so you gon make those?”

  I looked up at her, “What? You saving those for your husband?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Please let that be the last time you bring him up, tonight.”

  “I’m just saying,” I shrugged.

  I placed the steaks in water in her oversized sink. It would take a minute for them to thaw out so I rummaged her cabinets again for a side dish. “You wasn’t lying when you said I should have stopped by a grocery store.”

  It took a while but I found the things I needed to make a decent side dish. I looked up and she was seated at the table watching my every move. “Come here and help me.”

  She jumped up and walked into the kitchen. “What you need me to do?”

  “First, wash your hands,” I laughed.

  She punched me in my side. “Oh, shut up.” But she started washing her hands. Then she held them up, “Clean enough for you?”

  I nodded. “You can cut up this cheese.”

  She pulled out a cutting board and started cutting the block of cheese. “What you making?”

  “Mac-n-Cheese.”

  “Oooh, homemade,” she said.

  “I can’t make no promises on how it’s gonna taste since you ain’t got no real milk in here.”

  She cut up all the cheese and then put a pot of bowling water on the stove for the pasta. I reached for the heat knob at the same time she did and when our fingers touched, she giggled. I don’t know if it was just in my mind or what, but I could have sworn I felt some kind of electricity run through my body when our fingers touched.

  She must have felt it too because she reached up and kissed me. It wasn’t a quick peck, but a long, kiss with her tongue wrestling with mine. Impulsively, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She was smelling so sweet and her skin was so soft, I forgot all about cooking and picked her up and placed her on the kitchen counter.

  She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me in tighter. She grabbed both sides of my face and kissed me harder. I grabbed her ass and squeezed it before pulling her dress up above her knees. As soon as I saw she wasn’t wearing any draws, my dick jumped in anticipation of being inside of her.

  She moaned and pulled her dress above her head. I spread her legs and buried my face between her thighs.

  She gasped before spreading her legs wider. “What about the food?” She asked in between her heavy pants.

  “Fuck that food,” I said. I licked and kissed every part of her thighs until I found what I was looking for. Her legs clasped tight around my head as soon as my mouth found her love button. It wasn’t long before she was squirming and moaning, grabbing my head. As soon as her body tightened up, I got up, dropped my pants and entered her. She gasped again and then started moaning even louder. Her moans did something to me. I knew I wouldn’t last if she kept moaning like that so I put my mouth on top of hers and she accepted my lips hungrily.

  When her breathing quickened and her body tightened in my arms, she began moaning my name over and over and I couldn’t hold out any longer.

  Her body went limp but I still had her in my arms. “Damn,” I whispered.

  “I k
now, that was good huh?”

  “Yeah that too, but we didn’t use a condom.”

  I felt her go rigid in my arms, “You’re clean right?”

  I pulled away from her and looked her in her eyes, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

  “Hell yeah I am!” She said before laughing. “I just got tested once I found out my husband was sticking his dick in anything that moved.”

  I thought about all the recent tests I’d gone through. But quickly shook the thought off. I didn’t think about cancer when I was with Charlie. Cancer didn’t exist when I was with her.

  She jumped down from the counter and picked her dress up from the floor. She grabbed my hand and I followed her to her bathroom where we cleaned up before returning to the kitchen.

  All the water had boiled out of the pan but at least the steaks were thawed out.

  ❤❤❤❤❤

  After we cooked and ate, Charlie laid on the couch with her head on my chest. “I like listening to your heartbeat.”

  I ran my fingers through her hair and smiled.

  “I really like you, Amir. I wasn’t expecting to get involved with someone as fast as I did with you and I don’t know exactly what we’re doing but I like it.”

  I didn’t know what to say back to her because my feelings for her had me feeling crazy as hell. So I decided to just tell her the truth.

  “Man, I ain’t never felt this way about a woman this fast before. Shit, I ain’t never felt this way about a woman, period.”

  She laughed and lifted her head so that she could look me in my eyes. “I’m glad I met you, that night.”

  “Me too.”

  She kissed me before turning the channel on the TV. I felt my eyes getting heavy with sleep.

  “You can cook your ass off, too. I might just keep you around.”

  I laughed, “That ain’t the only thing you want to keep me around for and you know it.”

  She laughed but her laugh was cut short and she jumped up. Which caused me to wake up completely. I looked at her but her eyes were glued to the TV. “What is it?”